DESCRIPTION
My first attempt at poetry, so be kind! Does this count as poetry? Does it need more 'structure'? Basically a love poem, but from a very down to earth point of view. [252 words]
I wouldn�t pull the stars down from the sky for you Basic physics stops that
I wouldn�t swim an ocean for you I�m not a very good swimmer, and would probably get cramp after the first 90 seconds
I wouldn�t move mountains for you My back isn�t what it used to be and I don�t think cartographers would be too impressed
I wouldn�t walk across a desert to be with you You can get anywhere by aeroplane these days
I wouldn�t lie for you Except under extenuating circumstances, like your grandmother asking if you�re available to talk on the phone
I would hold an umbrella for you in the rain While I got drenched to the bone and my knee started playing up again
I would hold a door open for you Even though I would have to hold it open for the next twenty ungrateful so-and-sos who walked through without saying thank you
I would die for you But somehow it doesn�t seem enough. Protecting you from danger is a part of me now and would require no thought
I would live for you But you make that too easy, every day is a joy
I would take care of you when we grew old Because the girl I fell in love with never will
I would understand you And if I did not, I would listen until I did
I would tell you the truth However trivial, however painful, whatever it cost, whatever I lost
I would open every facet of my life to you Until you knew me better than anyone on this planet, including me
I would love you
I will love you
I love you
READER'S REVIEWS (5) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"My best advice that I can give you is to keep writing. You have showed the ability to create flowing words to convey your thoughts. You will notice over time improvement on your form of writing. Poetry is about self expression, so of course it counts as poetry. I have enjoyed reading your work and look forward to seeing more." -- Tammy O'Neill.
"Of course it's poetry Edward! If it reaches someone on an emotional level, if it makes someone laugh, or cry (your poem did both to me), it is successful. If you felt fulfilled in writing it, felt it expressed something that needed to be, it's poetry. Thanks a lot. Write On!" -- Julia Tripp, Ontario, Canada.
"Of Course this is poetry. Any group of words that can express your feeling to someone or about saomeone is poetry in my humble opinion. Whoever received this is very lucky. Keep on writing." -- Steve Barney, Garden city, Michigan, USA.
"This is one of the best poems I've ever read. It's both simple and intense, and mixes humor with the strongest, most vivid emotion so deftly that it seems seamless. Good job!" -- Danielle Campbell, Rolla, MO, USA.
"stop using the word 'love'. its cheesey and sentimental. express your ideas originally. read some poems from the greats and try not to write crap." -- blah.
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