Doctor Trek - The Green Green Glow Of Death (Parts 1, 2 And 3) (7)
* * * * Meadowhall Shopping Centre, Sheffield, England. March 31, 2003. "NOW, CAPTAIN," Cody spoke, her voice harsh, guttural and horrifying, her pretty face twisted into a vile parody. "LET THIS BE OUR LAST BATTLEFIELD!" She turned and flung herself into the vortex. Who frowned, watching. "Unoriginal to the last," Frobisher padded over to the vortex, winking at Melissa and the Willis'. "Don't worry. The Captain'll kick it's ass, I expect. He usually does, after all." 'Bouncer' leapt into the vortex after Cody, and the image froze on the screen. "Neighbours", the closing credits began to run, "everybody needs good neighbours," Who switched off the video. "Well," he murmured, turning to the others. "What do you think?" "Well, it's the barmiest thing that show's ever done," Peter acknowledged. "But more interesting than the usual love triangle rubbish, I suppose," Joe noted. "It'd never have happened in my day," Jason said darkly. "But that was a long, long time ago, wasn't it?" Robin mocked. "No, no!" Who waved his hands about excitedly. "I mean, what do you think of - " "Captain," Paul began slowly. "I remember now. That THING out there - it, it possessed me once. In July 1989. That's why I, why I," "So now you know the reason for your nervous breakdown," Who patted him on the back. "Splendid. Doesn't really help us in our current predicament, alas though, does it?" "I suppose not," Paul admitted grumpily. "Captain, look!" Joe pointed. Outside the security office, a vortex was opening in the centre of the, well, centre, and out of it dropped two very familiar figures. "Ace! Sammy!" Who exclaimed delightedly. "Perfect timing! Joe, grab that other extinguisher, there's a good fellow. Time for an outing, I think." "Yes, Captain," Joe obliged. Ace and Sammy were looking around their new environment. "Where are we?" Sammy gasped. "Dunno," Ace noticed the green-eyed zombies moving toward them. "Unfriendly natives, though, wherever it is." The zombies broke apart as Who and co made their way through, blasting at them with the extinguishers. "Sammy! Ace!" Who shook their hands excitedly. "Nice of you to drop in." Two more figures dropped out of the vortex before it sealed up. "Bloomin' 'eck," 'Bouncer' complained. "What a ride." "Frobisher!" Who cried, delighted. "Cody!" Sammy cried out happily, and moved toward her. Who grabbed him. Cody straightened up. "AFRAID NOT, LOVERBOY." Her eyes glowed green. CHAPTER FIVE "Cody!" Sammy cried, horrified. "HI, SAMMY," 'Cody' grinned. "LONG TIME, NO BE INSIDE, EH?" Sammy frowned, perplexed. Who pushed him behind him and strode forth to confront 'Cody'. "So here we all are at last," he noted. "I take it this IS all of you, Big Fairy? No other stray bits or bobs flying around the space-time continuum?" "ALL ME, CAPTAIN, THE LAST BITS OF ME JOINED WITH ME IN THE VORTEX," Cody boomed. "EXCEPT FOR MY SERVANTS HERE, OF COURSE," she indicated the zombies. "Of course," Who smiled dangerously. "So what is it you want, Big Fairy? You've orchestrated these events from the beginning, thanks to your dangerously paradoxical future knowledge. So what are you after?" "ISN'T it OBVIOUS?" Cody's normally sweet face twisted, giving a rictus grin of pure malevolence. "YOU. I WANT YOU, CAPTAIN." "Well, I'm flattered," Who smiled. "Why do you want the Professor?" Ace demanded roughly. "Revenge, Big Fairy?" Who mocked. "All this just for revenge?" "NOTHING SO PETTY, CAPTAIN," 'Cody' assured. "No?" Who was surprised. "Then what? Oh, I see. My intellect. Want to pick my brain, is that it?" "A BRAIN LIKE YOURS IS RARE," the Big Fairy acknowledged. "Thank you," Who beamed. "SO SMALL it IS IN SIZE AND CONTENT," 'Cody' mocked. Who looked put out. Frobisher chuckled. "NO, CAPTAIN," the Big Fairy chuckled, "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR BRAIN. I WANT, YOUR BODY!" "I knew it," 'Bouncer' declared. "Doug was right. The Big Fairy IS a big fairy!" "WITH YOUR BODY, I CAN CONTROL THE TARDISPRISE," 'Cody' declared. "I COULD SPREAD MY WILL THROUGHOUT ALL OF SPACE - AND ALL OF TIME! I COULD BE GOD!" "I've heard of desserts getting ideas above their station, but this is ridiculous," Who snapped. "The Admirals would never allow it." "THE ADMIRALS WOULD BE FIRST ON MY LIST TO CONQUER!" the Big Fairy exulted. "I'LL never allow it," Who said coldly. "THE DECISION IS SCARCELY YOURS," 'Cody' grinned horribly. The zombies began moving in on them. "Come on!" Who began blasting with the extinguisher. "Back to the security office! Back!" They ran for it. "YOU FOOL, CAPTAIN," the Big Fairy laughed. "YOU CANNOT RUN FROM ME - NOBODY CAN!" Who and co had once again barricaded themselves in the security office. "What are we going to do?" Peter demanded, near-hysterical. "Quiet," Who hushed him. "I'm thinking." "But - " Peter began. "Quiet," Ace hushed him. "He's THINKING!" Sammy collapsed in a chair, looking distraught. "Cody, she's dead, isn't she? That thing's just controlling her corpse, isn't it?" "Not necessarily," Joe tried to cheer him up. "It possessed Paul once, and he's alright, more or less." Sammy looked up hopefully. "Really?" "Really," Paul laughed. "And hopefully now I'll never have to say 'Cor Blimey' in my life ever again!" "CAPTAIN," the Big Fairy's voice rang out all over Meadowhall. "It's on the loudspeaker," Ace noted, rather obviously. "ARE YOU LISTENING, CAPTAIN? I'M ABOUT TO MAKE A PHONE CALL," "What's it doing?" Robin wanted to know. "Ssh," Who hushed her. "Hello, this is Radio Sheffield. How can I help you?" "HELLO. I'M THE MANAGER OF MEADOWHALL SHOPPING CENTRE. I WANT YOUR LISTENERS TO HEAR ABOUT A SPECIAL OFFER." "Oh, no," Who breathed. In the Centre Manager's office, the possessed Cody was speaking on the telephone. "TOMORROW MORNING, FOR ONE HOUR ONLY, THERE WILL BE A 90% DISCOUNT ON ALL ITEMS IN ALL OUR STORES." "Sorry, did you say 90%?" "THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS," 'Cody' beamed horribly. "ONE HOUR ONLY, FROM SIX AM. BE THERE. THIS IS A SPECIAL, ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OFFER. BE THERE, PEOPLE OF SHEFFIELD. it'S TIME TO SHOP, 'TIL YOU DROP!" the Big Fairy hung up, chuckling horribly. "They'll turn up in their thousands," Who realised. "It'll be a bloodbath," Ace spat. "DID YOU HEAR THAT, CAPTAIN? DID YOU? I DO HOPE SO. HAND YOURSELF OVER TO ME AND I WILL SPARE THIS PLANET. I'LL GIVE it TO YOU AS A PLAYTHING. DO NOT, AND THE MORNING SHOPPERS WILL BE IN FOR THE SHOCK OF THEIR LIVES, OR RATHER, THEIR DEATHS!" "He's serious," Sammy noted. "He's barking," Frobisher commented, somewhat ironically. "Indeed," Who turned to his friends. "I want you to tell me everything that's been happening to you, every little detail." "Why?" Ace demanded. "There has to be something I'm missing," Who insisted. "Some little detail. I have to know EVERYTHING about what the Big Fairy's been up to in order to defeat it. Know thine enemy. Admirable advice." "Yes, Captain," Ace, Frobisher and Sammy chorussed. Up in the office, the possessed Cody was busy reading the daily newspaper. "SARS VIRUS SPREADS," 'Cody' read out. "MORE DEATHS, THOUSANDS INFECTED, FEARS GROW OF GLOBAL EPIDEMIC," 'Cody' lowered the paper, grinning gruesomely. "WAIT'LL THEY GET A LOAD O' ME!" "Alright," Who frowned. "Are we clear on the plan?" "Not really," Ace complained. "Ace!" Who hissed. "But I still don't see why Sammy - " Ace began. "Ssh!" Who hushed. "You're taking one helluva risk on one helluva long shot," Ace noted. "It could've just travelled back with Frobisher, started from there in a temporal paradox thing. It's not like there aren't enough of them about. You can't be sure - " "You heard what it said to Sammy earlier," Who noted. "It makes no sense unless my theory is correct." "Your theory's the thing that makes no sense!" Ace objected. "Ace!" Who complained. "We haven't got time for this! Are you going to help or not?" Ace frowned. "Oh, course, I am, Professor," she grumbled. "Good," Who straightened up. "Then let's get going, then!" "Hey, that's MY line!" Frobisher objected. "Big Fairy! Big Fairy!" 'Cody' rose from her chair and strolled over to the window, to see Captain Who and his cronies on the level below, staring up. "EXCELLENT," 'Cody' leered. "THE LAMB, TO THE SLAUGHTER." CHAPTER SIX 'Cody' faced Who and co across the walkway, the zombies surrounding them all. "I TAKE it YOU ARE HERE TO SURRENDER, CAPTAIN," 'Cody' gloated. "On one condition, Big Fairy," Who told her. "ANOTHER ONE?" Cody leered. "I'VE ALREADY AGREED TO SPARE THIS PLANET. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, TEA AND FAIRY CAKES?" "I want you to release Cody," Who looked at 'her' with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "She IS still alive, I take it?" "OF COURSE, CAPTAIN," the Big Fairy boomed. "Good," Who narrowed his eyes. "Because if you'd harmed her, I'd be most upset." He brightened up, beaming suddenly. "Come on then, let's get it over with. I've never been possessed by intelligent slime before, it'll be a new experience for me." "it WILL ALSO BE YOUR LAST, CAPTAIN," 'Cody' promised. "Now now, don't spoil the mood and bring everybody down," Who reproved. "I am going to receive the whole package, I take it?" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" the Big Fairy demanded. "Well, your zombie friends, of course," Who noted. "I refuse to be taken over by PART of you. It's all or nothing with me, I'm afraid." 'Cody' narrowed her eyes. "WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS?" "No tricks, Fairy," Who replied. "All or nothing or the deal's off." "YOU HAVE LITTLE CHOICE, CAPTAIN. BUT IN THE INTERESTS OF CIVILITY," The zombies collapsed and the slime within them raced over, entering Cody. "Rightyho, then," Who smiled charmingly. "Shall we begin?" "VERY WELL, CAPTAIN," 'Cody' began to shake, slime spewing from her body. "I COMMENCE MY FINAL APOTHEOSIS!" Cody collapsed. The huge mass of green slime raced toward Who. Who braced himself. The slime leapt. At the last possible moment, Who dived aside and Sammy took his place. "NOOO!" the slime screamed. Unable to stop itself once possession had begun, the slime lathered all over Sammy, entering his body via his mouth, nose, eyes and ears. The slime disappeared inside him completely. Sammy closed his eyes. Who walked over to him gingerly. "Sammy?" Sammy opened his eyes. They were a perfectly normal brown. "Yes, Captain?" Who grinned in relief. "Ah, well that sorts that out, then." "Cody!" Sammy raced over to Cody and helped her to her feet, hugging her in relief. "What?!" Frobisher complained. "Is that it?!" "I'm afraid so," Who clapped his hands together in satisfaction. "But it can't be," Frobisher protested. "After all THIS," "What do you want?" Who complained. "A big explosion or something?" "Well, frankly, yes!" Frobisher nodded. "I mean THIS, it's a bit bloomin' anti-climactic, don't you think?" "Well, REALLY," Who fumed. "The situation's been saved, and the villain contained." He shook his head in exasperation. "Honestly, some people are NEVER satisfied!" Slowly, Captain Who and co began making their way through all the bodies out of Meadowhall. "Captain," Joe sidled up to him. "Could I talk to you for a moment?" "Certainly, Joe. What's the problem?" Who beamed. "It's just, something that Hitchcock said to me earlier," Joe began. "About my life." "Oh, I wouldn't listen to anything HE had to say," Who said dismissively. "I'm just a bit worried by it," Joe admitted. "Go on, then," Who urged. Joe repeated what Hitchcock had said to him. When he'd finished, Who shook his head and sighed. "So let me get this straight, you're worried because you have a close relationship with your brother, because you have a beautiful young girlfriend who adores you, and because, despite your busy lifestyle, you still have time for old friends and still treasure the memories of the good times you had together?" Who threw his arm around Joe's shoulders. "My dear Joseph, we should ALL have your problems," Joe brightened up considerably. "Well, when you put it like that," he beamed. "I don't know how we're going to get back to the TARDISPRISE," Ace noted. "After what happened to the teleport cubicle," "Oh, that," Who took out his Stattenheim Remote Control and activated it. The teleport cubicle materialised in the car park. "But, but," Ace protested. "It blew up!" "No, it didn't," Who corrected. "It was just the SHITSS." "The WHAT?" Sammy, his arm around Cody, demanded. "The SHITSS," Who repeated. "The Starship Hostile Invaders Time Separation System. It's a defence system. Basically, if it and we are under attack, it spirits us out of there, deposits us somewhere safe, and then comes back later to pick us up. It was one of Borusa's designs, I believe." "You mean, we were SUPPOSED to get dumped in the middle of nowhere with bog all idea what was going on?" Ace exclaimed. "Gordon Bennett!" "Yes, well, no one's perfect," Who acknowledged with a smile. "Especially Borusa." Later, back aboard the TARDISPRISE, the crew were assembled in the medical bay, where Who was using a very large syringe to suck all the green slime out of Sammy's body and into a cryogenic box. "But I still don't understand," Cody was saying, "how you knew the slime wouldn't affect Sammy?" "Because it didn't do last time," Who explained. Cody frowned. "Hunh?" "It's been in me before," Sammy told her. "Only I didn't even know it myself." "Then how did YOU know?" Cody asked Who exasperatedly. "It's very simple," Who explained. "We knew the trail of the Big Fairy virus started on Delta Sigma, right?" "Right," Cody was following the explanation so far. "And we know how it got to Wickersley Comprehensive School in 1989 and Meadowhall in 2003, it followed Sammy and I in the vortex, right?" Who continued. "RIGHT," Cody nodded. "And we know how the virus we went to destroy in Erinsborough knew we were coming, because a future version of it followed Ace to Delta Sigma and told the ORIGINAL virus it's future, right?" Who continued. "Erm, o, kay," Cody was flailing a bit now. "The question was, how did it get to Erinsborough in the first place?" Who explained. "There were two options - 1) that it went back in time with Frobisher, and started there in a kind of self-reflexive paradoxical time-loop. Or, the other explanation, that came to me when the Big Fairy made it's slip about having been in Sammy before." "WHAT?!" Cody was on the verge of giving up. "I first went to Wick Comp, at fourteen, in 1989 - kind of while-I-was-already- there," Sammy told her. "And while the Big Fairy was there, we think a bit of it got inside me, but for some reason, it didn't affect me, and couldn't get out of me again either." "We assume this," Who took up the story again, "because if it was able to leave him at will, it would have done so when he first joined the TARDISPRISE crew, tried to take me over then. But it didn't, so it musn't have been able. Then Sammy ended up in Ramsay Street with you. When you - or rather, Jip, as it happens - dumped him, Sammy tried to kill himself - " "You did?" Cody looked at Sammy in awe. "Just because you thought I'd dumped you? Oh, that's so SWEET!" "Oh, for God's sake," Frobisher vomited in the corner. "He was sick, weak. That's when the virus must have been able to escape," Who finished. "That's how it wound up in Erinsborough and started it's campaign, all the while knowing - because of it's contact with it's future self - that the Admirals would send us after it, and already knowing that it would be able to trap us - because of it's contact with it's future self!" Who beamed. "I hope that's cleared it all up for you, Cody." Cody looked at him. "I haven't the foggiest clue what you've been talking about," she said. "But okay!" Who finished the process and closed the cryogenic box. "We'll drop that in a super-nova sometime. Wouldn't want it getting out again, would we?" "But why DIDN'T it affect me?" Sammy inquired. "Do we know?" "I suspect," Who was examining Sammy on the medical scanner. "It's because of your unusual DNA." "Unusual?" Sammy asked. "Mm," Who frowned. "It appears, Sammy, that your DNA is partly extra-dimensional. Because you're neither one nor the other, the slime couldn't get a handle on how to control you." "Pardon?" Cody asked. "Eh?" Ace echoed. "Sammy, it would seem that you and Cody are not the first couple from alternate dimensions," Who informed him. "Your genetic scan indicates that one of your parents was from OUR universe, but one of them, was from Cody's. The Dimension Formally Known as The Fiction Universe, in other words." "Oh, my," Cody gasped. Sammy looked at Cody and a disturbing thought struck him. "Captain, you don't think," "That Cody's your mother and you're your own father?" Who shook his head. "No, I don't. Apart from the rather disturbing and icky aspects of that, it'd also be terribly unoriginal. And we just don't do that sort of thing in this series. No, REALLY. WE DON'T. But if you want, Sammy, we could try and find out who your parents really are." "I think I'd like that, Captain," Sammy nodded. "Captain," Ace nudged him. "There was one other thing you were wanting to talk to them about, wasn't there?" "Was there?" Who looked at her blankly. "The, er, precautions talk we discussed earlier," Ace reminded him. "Oh, right, yes of course," Who fished in his pocket and handed Cody several packets of condoms. "There you go. Just in case you and Sammy decide to go at it like rabbits any time soon. I hear the ribbed ones are particularly good. Toodleloo!" He marched out, waving goodbye. Sammy, Cody, Frobisher and Ace stared after him, open-mouthed and aghast. * * * * Wickersley Comprehensive School, England, July 1989. Mr Meadows and the 14 year old Sammy emerged from the Headmaster's office. "Just a few forms to sign and you'll be officially enrolled," Meadows noted. "Went rather well, I thought, didn't it?" Sammy grunted non-committedly. Suddenly, green slime leapt from the ceiling and entered Sammy via his nose. Sammy collapsed. "Sammy!" Meadows helped him up. Sammy stood, confused. What had just happened? "Are you alright?" Meadows demanded. Sammy patted himself. Everything seemed to be in the right place. "I - I think so," he said, still a little shaky. "Are you sure?" Meadows asked, concerned. "You look a little green to me."
Copyright © 2003 Ian Kidd |