Doctor Trek - The Green Green Glow Of Death (Parts 1, 2 And 3) (6) "That," Ace pointed at Crawford, "and THAT," she pointed at the floating fairy cakes, "that's not the thing that came with me. That is the ORIGINAL virus, the ORIGINAL entity." "But what ith it?" Kipling queried. "How did it get here?" "CAN'T YOU GUESS, COMMANDER?!" Crawford boomed. "Or doctor RONLAY? SURELY YOU CAN WORK it OUT? AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH TOGETHER," "Vot?!" Horrified realisation swept through Ronlay. "No, zis cannot be!" "ZIS BE, DOCTOR RONLAY!" Crawford leered. "BECAUSE I, THE BIG FAIRY, SAYS it BE!" "The Big Faiwy!" Kipling exclaimed, horrified. Ace nodded grimly. "But it can't be!" Kipling protested. "The Big Faiwy wath dethtroyed. Mr Wok ate it!" "THE SPOTTY FOOL DEVOURED my PHYSICAL FORM," the Big Fairy confirmed, "BUT my ESSENCE REMAINED! I WAS CAST LOOSE into THE SHADOW DIMENSIONS, UNTIL I ONCE MORE FOUND A PHYSICAL ENTITY CAPABLE OF HOUSING my INTELLECT!" "Which wath what, eggthactly?" Kipling wanted to know. "DOCTOR RONLAY'S NEW GREEN DESSERT TOPPING!" the Big Fairy boomed through Crawford's mouth, chuckling. "My, my, Lime Zurprize?!" Ronlay was gobsmacked. "THE VERY SAME," the Big Fairy mocked. "AS it TRANSPIRED, DOCTOR RONLAY'S SWEET-TASTING TEA-TIME TREAT TURNED OUT TO BE A FAR MORE APPROPRIATE VEHICLE FOR ME THAN I COULD EVER HAVE DREAMED OF." "Vot do you mean?" Ronlay wanted to know. "Look around you," Ace said bitterly. "What do you think he means?" "WITH A FEW MINOR CHANGES TO THE TOPPING'S CHEMICAL COMPOSITION, it BECAME A MOST USEFUL TOOL. FLUID, MOBILE, SELF-REPLICATING, and STRANGELY COMPATIBLE AND DOMINEERING TO THE HUMAN MIND!" the Big Fairy laughed. "So what are you gonna do now?" Ace yelled. "I THINK I SHOULD LEAVE that, TO my FUTURE SELF to DECIDE," Crawford indicated the zombies. Ace, Ronlay and Kipling swung around. "Vell?" Ronlay demanded. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?" the Big Fairy leered. "You're going to kill us," Ace said darkly. "TEN OUT OF TEN, MISS ACE. GO TO THE HEAD OF THE CLASS. OH, SORRY, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO. YOU'LL BE DEAD!" The zombies advanced mercilessly on Ace, Kipling and Ronlay. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a huge black void opened in the centre of the corridor, sending a howling wind screeching at them, pulling at them. "Yes!" Ace ran toward it. "Athe, what are you DOING?!" Kipling cried. "Don't worry," Ace winked. "I think I've figured out what this thing is." She turned to the zombies. "Coming?"she asked cheekily. "WHY SHOULD I?" "''Cause if this goes where I think it will, me and the Captain will soon be coming back to get you and stop you at the source," Ace jeered. "Wouldn't want that, would you?" The zombies appeared to consider. Then suddenly they collapsed, as if they were puppets whose strings had just been cut. Green slime oozed from their bodies and headed for Ace. At the same time, Crawford and the fairy cakes likewise hit the floor, and the Big Fairy's earlier slime self came pouring out, also heading for Ace. "Athe, look out!" Kipling yelled. Ace saw both sets of slime heading for her and grinned. Winking at Kipling and Ronlay, she yelled at the slime, "Watcha waitin' for, boys? Chicken?!?!?" and turned and dived headlong into the vortex, CHAPTER TWO Meadowhall Shopping Centre, Sheffield, England. March 31, 2003. Captain Who, Paul Bates, Joe Binks, Jason Donovan, Robin Samuels and Peter Tinker stared out of the video production centre at the army of the undead gathering outside. "We have to get to the security office," Who said again. "What do you suggest?" Peter demanded sarcastically. "Go out there and ask them nicely to let us through?" "You really think that would work?" Who asked eagerly. Peter looked at him. Who's face fell. "Oh, I see. You were being facetious. Very unhelpful, I musn't say." Paul was staring fixatedly at the green-eyed zombies outside, seemingly transfixed. Joe sidled up to him. "Are you alright?" "Cor Blimey, I don't know," Paul shook his head. "There's just something, very familiar about all this." "Well, we can't stand about here all day," Who began looking around the room. "What are you looking for?" Robin demanded. "Anything we could use as a weapon," Who told her. "We still have our guns," Peter noted. "Yes, and very impressed by them our friends out there were, weren't they?" Who noted patronisingly. "Well, then what do you sugge - " Peter began. "A - ha!" Who exclaimed, picking up a fire extinguisher. "What good will that do?" Peter demanded. "You might be surprised," Who turned. "Open up the doors - I'm going out!" "You can't be serious!" Jason protested. "I'm always serious!!" Who declared. "Well, 90% of the time. Well, 40% of the time. Well, oh, look, never mind! I'm going out!" "Then we're going with you," Joe told him. "But - " Who began to protest. "We're in this together, Captain," Joe told him. "All of us." Who frowned. "Do you all agree?" The others nodded reluctantly. "Cor Blimey, we do, Captain," Paul nodded overemphatically. "Right. There's another fire extinguisher over there - Jason, grab it. We'll go out first, distract our green friends and allow the others time to get clear before we make a run for it ourselves," Who instructed. "Clear?" Jason nodded, hefting the extinguisher. "Clear, Captain." "Right," Who nodded. "Then let's get going, then!" Paul, Robin, Joe and Peter cleared away the barricades and threw open the doors. "Now!" Who and Jason ran out in front, blasting at the zombies with the fire extinguishers. The green men began to back away, a pathway clearing through them. "It's working!" Jason hissed excitedly. "Of course it's working," Who hissed back, vaguely put out. "Never doubted it for a millisecond." He waved to the others. "Come on! Move it!" The others dashed through the clearing. "HEY, PAUL," one of the zombies - rather bizarrely - waved at Paul. "LONG TIME, NO POSSESS." Paul stopped, staring. Joe hauled him away. With the others through, Who waved at Jason. "Come on! Let's go!" Who blasted his way through with the extinguisher. Jason followed, likewise blasting away. Then his extinguisher ran out. Jason stood, terrified, as the zombies began to close back in on him. "CAPTAIN!" he yelled. Who was a long way away now but stopped and turned. "Oh, no." He began moving back, but Joe grabbed him. "It's too late, Captain," Joe told him. "You'll never make it." Who watched in horror as the zombies closed in on Jason. Joe whispered in Who's ear. "What!?" Who exclaimed. "Just trust me," Joe smiled. Who shrugged. "Jason!" he yelled across Meadowhall at the top of his voice. "How are things between you and Kylie Minogue lately?!?!?!" Jason had his back to the wall, the green-eyed monsters mere millimetres from him when Who's words floated across the centre. "Kylie Minogue?!" A vein began throbbing in Jason's temple. "KYLIE MINOGUE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Inflamed with rage, Jason grabbed one of the zombies and tore it's head off with his bare hands, gore showering everywhere rather gratuitously. Jason proceeded to use the decapitated head as a weapon, his fingers deep inside the neck and using it to club the other zombies to the ground as he made his way through. "I say, this is a bit more excessive than normal," Who noted, visibly wincing as Jason sent the zombies flying everywhere. Finally, Jason broke free and ran over to join them, the head still attached to his fingers. "Erm, Jase," Who pointed out rather queezily. "Oh, right," Jason began to slowly remove his bloody fingers out of the base of the neck. Who craned his neck, looking at the head. "Don't I know him?" he inquired. "It's Pan Bell," Joe noted. "One of the guards who arrested you." "Oh, my," Who winced in distaste. "They're coming!" Joe pointed. The zombies had apparently recovered their equilibrium and were marching down the walkway toward them. "Right," Jason turned back toward them. "What are you doing?!" Who protested in horror. "Go," Jason ordered. "Leave them to me." He marched toward the zombies, CHAPTER THREE Halfway toward the zombies, Jason paused, crouching slightly. "What's he DOING?" Joe wanted to know. "Ssh," Who hushed him. "Just watch." Like an expert bowler, Jason sent Pan Bell's decapitated head tumbling down the walkway. It bounced into one of the zombies, setting off a chain reaction that sent all the zombies tumbling to the floor. "YES!" Jason stuck an arm in the air victoriously. "Strike!" "Come on!" Who waved him back. Jason ran to join him and he, Who and Joe continued to run until they reached the security office where the others were already waiting for them. "Barricade the doors!" Who ordered. He looked around. "Robin, where are your 'Neighbours' tapes?" "Here, Captain," Robin indicated the bag beneath the desk. "Find the most recent," Who ordered. Paul was staring out at the zombies. "They - they said hello to me." "THEY didn't," Who noted. "The thing CONTROLLING them did. Now why is that?" "Cor Blimey, I don't know," Paul shook his head vehemently. "Think, Paul, think," Who urged. "Sometime in your past." He looked at him. "You know, it could be the reason for your nervous breakdown." Paul gasped. "Cor Blimey, do you really think so?" "I do," Who nodded. "Captain!" Robin called. "Found 'em." Who hurried over. "Play," he ordered. Robin pressed play. An image of Cody appeared on the screen. Behind her, a giant maggot slowly crept up. "Fast forward," Who urged. Robin fast-forwarded past the reprise, and the brief opening credits. On screen, Bouncer bounded into the Willis house and yelled, "Get away from her, you BITCH!" "What the HELL?!" Robin exclaimed. "FROBISHER!" Who exclaimed delightedly. "So THAT'S where he's got to." Robin looked at him incredulously. "On 'Neighbours'?!?!?" "Fast forward," Who ordered. "Why?" "We have to find out how this storyline ends," Who declared. "Our lives and the lives of everyone on this planet may well depend upon it!" * * * * Erinsborough, 1991. Ramsay Street. In the Willis house, Pam had recovered from her shock and she and Doug were sitting on the sofa, listening incredulously as Cody and Bouncer - well, someone called Frobisher, apparently - recounted their story. "So that's it, basically," Cody finished, somewhat shamefacedly. "So - Todd's DEAD?!" Pam gaped. Cody nodded awkwardly. "Fraid so." "And you haven't been in America," Doug noted, "but travelling around in a space-time ship?" Cody pulled a face. "That's about the size of it," she admitted. "I'd think you were crazy," Pam noted, "but for," Frobisher raised a paw. "Me?" "It's hard to argue with an intelligent, talking labrador," Doug agreed. "Well, quite how intelligent he is is open to question," Cody joked. 'Bouncer' growled. "But I still don't understand what this evil is that you think is hiding in Lassiters," Pam admitted. "Oh, gawd," 'Bouncer' laid down, putting his paws over his face. "Have we got to through it all AGAIN?!?!" Down by Lassiter's Lake, something was emerging from the water. Several somethings, in fact. At least a dozen giant maggots were pulling themselves ashore, slithering and sliding out of the muddy banks and heading for dry land, "I always knew Paul was possessed by business," Doug noted, "but an alien?" "Who calls himself The Big Fairy?!" Pam exclaimed. Doug pondered. "Is he some kind of pervert?" Cody sighed. Suddenly there was a banging on the door. "Help!" A girl's voice cried out. "Let me in!" "What the - " Doug stood up. "I'll go," Cody rushed to the front door and swung it open. "Melissa!" Melissa dived inside. "Shut the door!" she cried, literally shaking with fear. "Keep him out!" Cody frowned. "Who?" "ME." Cody gave a little scream. A bright green Josh Anderson stood in the doorway, a diabolical grin on his face. On the other side of Ramsay Street, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding in the Willis house, Harold and Madge Bishop were stood in conversation with Dorothy Burke. "So I sent her home," Dorothy was saying. "Poor little thing. Doug and Pam shouldn't have sent her back so soon." "Sure it wasn't just your company?" Madge inquired. "That sent her to sleep, I mean?" "Madge!" Harold was appalled. Then again, Harold was always appalled. Dorothy smirked. "Actually, I rarely have that effect on people I meet. Why, does it happen to you often, Madge?" Madge scowled. "Yes, well, it was nice talking to you, Dorothy, but we really should - " Madge stopped, looking down the street. "What on EARTH - " Dorothy and Harold turned. "Good grief!" Harold exclaimed. A dozen or so giant maggots were slithering down Ramsay Street toward them, Cody and Melissa backed away as the zombie Josh advanced into the Willis house. "What the HELL?!" Doug exclaimed. "Oh, Doug!" Pam hid behind her husband, terrified. Josh leered at Cody. "CODY, WE MEET AGAIN, FROBISHER, HOW YOU DOIN'?" "Fine 'til you showed up, you big fairy," Frobisher barked. "What are you doing here?" Cody demanded. "What do you WANT?" "WHY, YOU, OF COURSE," 'Josh' boomed. "YOU AND YOUR FURRY FRIEND. YOU'RE THE LAST BIT OF MESS I NEED TO CLEAR UP. THE FINAL PIECE OF THE PUZZLE, YOU MIGHT SAY," He advanced on Cody. Harold, Dorothy and Madge backed away, screaming (Harold's being an especially girly one) as the maggots slithered toward them. Jim Robinson and Joe Mangel ran out into the street, armed with shovels. "Flamin' 'ell!" Joe exclaimed. He and Jim set to work, bashing the maggots with the garden implements. Suddenly, an enormous hole opened in the Willis house, a black void that sent a hellish wind through the room. Josh grinned devilishly. "AAH," In Lassiters head office, the possessed Paul Robinson, Caroline Alessi and Mr Elgin jerked violently as the slime exited their bodies via their mouths, their noses and any other open orifaces it could find, and streamed out the door. Joe and Jim finished their work. "Got 'em," Jim said with some satisfaction. "Are you sure?" Madge cried. "They're all dead?" "Dead as a doornail," Joe kicked one, just to show. "Good heavens," Harold breathed. "Look!" Joe and Jim turned to see a stream of green slime slithering down Ramsay Street and head for No. 28. "It's going to the Willis'!" Dorothy realised. "Oh, that's it," Joe threw down his shovel. "I'm movin'." The wind howled ferociously as Josh stood in the centre of the Willis house, exulting as the stream of green slime poured into his body. "THE TIME HAS COME, FOR THE FINAL CONFRONTATION!" Suddenly, the slime leapt from Josh - onto Cody. "Nooo!" Pam screamed in pure horror. The slime slid inside Cody. Cody opened her eyes. They glowed pure green. "NOOO!" Pam collapsed onto the sofa, wailing. "NOW, CAPTAIN," Cody spoke, her voice harsh, guttural and horrifying, her pretty face twisted into a vile parody. "LET THIS BE OUR LAST BATTLEFIELD!" She turned and flung herself into the vortex. "Unoriginal to the last," Frobisher commented dourly, padding casually to the vortex. He turned his doggy head to the Willis' and Melissa and winked. "Don't worry. The Captain'll kick it's ass, I expect. He usually does, after all." And with that, 'Bouncer' leapt into the vortex after Cody, CHAPTER FOUR Wickersley Comprehensive School, England. July 1989. In Drama Block, the camera was rolling. As Scott Fawcus, playing the role of Mr Wok, ran down the corridor toward the piano on which a fairy cake was resting, the door opened and Sammy Davis Jnr. suddenly came pelting down the corridor. "CUT!" Lawrence cried in horror. Scott groaned. "You there!" Lawrence called. "You ruined our shot, you horrible, HORRIBLE little boy!" But Sammy was long gone. "Well, really!" Lawrence fumed. "Come on," Joe urged. As the Club tried to get into position to stage a reshoot, the door opened again and a young boy with sandy brown hair stood framed in the doorway, looking at them, apparently in bemusement, but in reality scouring the area for Sammy. "He thinks we're all bonkers," Scott noted, amused. Satisfied that Sammy was not around, the boy retreated. "Scared HIM off, anyway," Chris laughed. On the outskirts of Wickersley, a man named Simon Meadows was driving his car in the direction of the Comprehensive School. Meadows glanced at the fourteen year old boy in the passenger seat beside him. This was going to be hard on him, he knew. But then, it was going to be hard on everyone, wasn't it? Meadows had been in charge of the children's home in London for nearly twenty years, and now it was closing down. It was even worse for the boy, of course. Abandoned by unknown parents at just a few days old, the Home had been the boy's whole life. Now he had to start again, in a whole new home, and in a whole new school. "We'll be there soon," Meadows assured. "Take as long as you like. I haven't finished reading this 'Lost In Space' article yet," said Sammy Davis Jnr. The sixteen year old Sammy ran around the back of the Sports building, only to find himself confronted by Warnie and Mr Dudley, eyes glowing green. "Uh - oh," Sammy turned. The possessed boy stood behind him. "NOWHERE TO RUN, SAMMY," Dudley boomed. Suddenly, without warning, a huge vortex opened on the sports field, blowing them off their feet. Then someone came crashing OUT of the vortex, tumbling next to Sammy. Sammy looked up. "ACE?!" "Hi ya, Sammy," Ace winked. She looked around. "Are the others here?" "I don't think so," Sammy and Ace stood up. "But we have got company," he indicated the others. "Ah," Ace nodded. Behind Ace and Sammy, a trail of green slime - the original slime from Delta Sigma - oozed out of the vortex, and slid away into the undergrowth. Dudley and co advanced on Ace and Sammy. "Fellas," Ace beamed. "Remember me?" "OH, YES," Warnie mouthed. Ace grabbed Sammy's hand. "Sorry we can't stay and chat. But we have an urgent meeting with the Captain to discuss kicking your butt. Coming?" "WOULDN'T MISS it FOR THE WORLD," Dudley, Warnie and the boy collapsed as the slime spewed out of them and toward Ace and Sammy. In Drama Block, Paul suddenly collapsed, hitting the ground in a dead faint. Green slime oozed out from his nose and mouth and quickly slid away through the open doors, unnoticed. "Paul!" Joe ran over. "Paul, are you alright?" He turned his friend over. Paul opened his eyes. His whole body was shaking, and tears were streaking down his face. "Cor Blimey," he said. "Cor Blimey, Cor Blimey, Cor Blimey, Cor Blimey, Cor Blimey," As the slime that had been in Paul joined with the rest of the ooze, Ace yelled, "Move it!" and, dragging Sammy along with her, leapt into the vortex, the slime following close behind,
Copyright © 2003 Ian Kidd |