Doctor Trek - Crossbreed (2)
Sammy arrived at the table and leaned over, reaching over his hand to Cody. "Hi, I'm Sammy Davis Jnr." "Wrong colour, aren't you?" Todd grunted. "Hey, that guy's got class," Frobisher commented. "Todd," Cody didn't look amused. She shook Sammy's hand and smiled at him. "Hi, I'm Cody Willis." "I wonder," Sammy continued, "if you'd care to join me in here for lunch later?" "No, she wouldn't," Todd stood up threateningly. "Now get lost." "O - oh," Wok warned. "I rather think telling me to get lost is up to the lady to do," Sammy stood his ground, "not Egor." Cody suppressed a giggle. "Do they serve popcorn around here?" Frobisher pulled up a ring-side seat. "Cody," Todd said between clenched teeth, "tell this overweight blancmange to get lost." "Thump him, Sammy, thump him!" Who shouted. "Oh - whoops, sorry." "I'm not interested in having lunch with you here," Cody said pleasently. "Oh," Sammy was crushed. "So get lost, bacon face!" Todd stormed away. Sammy turned to go, but Cody caught his hand. "But a picnic wouldn't be out of the question," she smiled. Sammy grinned. The "Junior Gazette" team were holed up in Lynda's room, preparing to watch Colin's sensational 'alien' video. "This better be good, Colin," Lynda warned. "Yeah," Frazer 'Frazz' Davis agreed. "Just think of all the stairs I had to climb to get up here." "Just get on with it," Sam yawned. Lynda slammed the tape in the machine and rewound, then pressed play. The picture came up (rather bad colour), with the camera peering through the floorboards at Benjamin Horne. "So he's taking his contact lenses out," Spike quipped, "let's go arrest him." "Just let it play," Kenny advised. "It hasn't picked it up!" Colin squawked. "You can't see that it's his eyes he's taken out, not his contact lenses! Look, he's turning around. Now you'll see!" On screen, Benjamin Horne did indeed turn around, but the picture definition was so poor that it was impossible to see if he had eyes at all, let alone flaming red ones. "I'm not very impressed, Colin," Lynda told him. The screen became confused as Benjamin leapt through the ceiling and grabbed Colin and the video camera, pulling them down. Unfortunately, the video camera landed in entirely the wrong position to catch the rest of Colin's face-tearing struggle, instead focussing on a not-terribly interesting part of the window. "Well," Lynda began sarcastically. Spike chuckled. "Let's call the President! The army! The air-force!" The group burst out laughing - except, of course, Colin. Suddenly, the door burst open and Benjamin Horne (looking entirely normal) stormed in angrily. "You have two hours to leave this property, or I set the police on you!" "And why, exactly, Mr Horne?" Lynda stood up to face him. "Because your Mr Mathews illegally broke into my office and I could have you all charged," Benjamin fumed. "I want you out of here!" "And what, Mr Horne," Lynda began, "do you think the police will do when they find out you're a green-skinned alien with blazing red eyes?" "You what?" Benjamin chuckled. Lynda bent down to the video, ejected the tape and held it up to show him. "It's all on this tape Colin was shooting," she lied outrageously, "every sordid bit of it." "You - " Benjamin snarled, striding toward her. Spike leapt up, putting a restraining hand on Benjamin's chest. "I think you'd better stay where you are, Mr Horne," he warned dangerously. Benjamin snarled threateningly, and stormed from the room. "Well, Colin," Lynda squatted down beside him, "I think we may have something to talk about." Noon. Sammy was waiting for Cody down by Twin Peaks' lake, and was more than a little relieved when she, er, actually turned up. "Hi," she smiled, sitting down, folding her skirt around her legs, looking at the already laid-out picnic. "You certainly go all-out to make an impression," she winked at him. "Right little charmer, aren't you?" "Er - " Sammy coughed, half-flattered, half-embarrased, "I do my best." "Don't I know you from somewhere?" Cody inquired. "Er - I don't think so," Sammy frowned, desperately hoping that in this parallel universe, these now not-so-fictional characters couldn't somehow look OUT of the tv to see whoever was watching them, else that could be VERY embarrassing. "Haven't I seen you on the tv?" Cody inquired. Sammy stared at her, aghast. "You play Sammy Davis Jnr on "Wickersley Comp", don't you?" Cody asked brightly. "Er - no, I am Sammy Davis Jnr, and I did go to Wickersley Comp - well until I got spirited away in a space ship by a time-travelling dandy, a Chinaman with exceptionally poor dress sense, and a shape-changer with what can only be described as "a right bloody attitude"," Sammy told her. Cody burst out laughing. "Oh, you're so funny!" Sammy raised an eyebrow. "I am?" "Oh, and modest, too," Cody smirked. "Not to mention extremely cute," she laughed. "And bright purple." The metal spacecraft hiding in the bushes by the dimension-hopping pool of scorched engine oil was empty. Completely empty. Now. It was, after all, lunch-time... Sammy had just asked Cody the big question. No, not "Do you love me?", "Will you marry me?", or even "Can I kiss you?", but instead "You're not a "Doctor Who" fan, are you?" "What's "Doctor Who"?" Cody asked. ""Star Trek"?" "What?" ""Neighbours?"" "Never heard of it." Sammy was thoroughly bewildered. "What's your favourite tv show?" ""Wickersley Comp"," Cody blushed. "I had a crush on you, actually. Still do, I guess. It was you, wasn't it?" "I don't believe this," Sammy groaned. "Are you trying to tell me that your life is a tv show in my universe, and my life is a tv show in your universe?" "Hunh?" Cody didn't understand. Sammy put his hand to his head. "I need an aspirin." "Sammy, are you alright?" Cody began. "Hey - what are they?" Sammy looked up to see five largeish furballs rolling toward them. "I don't know. They look like tumbleweeds." One of the 'tumbleweeds' stopped. "Look - they've got spikes on their backs," Cody realised. "What are they?" One of the spikes flew off and hit Cody in the neck. With a sigh, she collapsed into Sammy's arms. "Er, Cody," Sammy began awkwardly, "it's very nice to hold you in my arms, but I don't think this is quite the right time ACTUALLY." The furballs uncoiled, revealing two eyes, a nose, a mouth - and very, very, very sharp teeth. Sammy scrambled to his feet, dragging the unconscious Cody with him. He turned to run - to find five more of the things behind him. "Oh, God," said Sammy. CHAPTER FIVE "So you found the body, yes?" Lynda smiled sweetly and charmingly, flashing her eyes at the former lumbermill worker. "Well, yes," Pete Martell replied awkwardly. "She was dead and wrapped in plastic." "How did you feel," Lynda knew she had him now, "when you found out it was her own father who did the dirty deed?" "The dirty deed?" Spike, who was waiting outside with Kenny, exclaimed with a guffaw. "She's really got a way with words, hasn't she, our Lynda?" "Hey," Kenny pointed further down the road. "What are those things rolling about?" "I don't know," Spike squinted. "They look kinda like tumbleweeds." Kenny raised his eyebrows. "Tumbleweeds?" Spike shrugged. "Well, it is a small town." Sammy was standing, holding the unconscious Cody high in his arms, as the vengeful little critters gathered around his feet, sniffing, apparently undecided as to whether to eat him or offer him some odour-eaters. Eventually, one of the critters, turning it's nose up at him, lifted up it's leg and peed all over his trousers. Chattering meaninglessly, the critters shrank back into their furball states, and began to roll away. Sammy sighed, but suddenly found his sensation of relief swept away by a feeling of irrational indignation. "Hey!" he shouted. "What's the matter with my flesh? Too friggin' tasty? You bunch of furry wimps! Why the hell didn't you want to eat me?" The critters stopped, raised themselves out of their furball states, and after a few moments meaningless chatter and meaningfully looking at Sammy and Cody, they seemed to reach a unanimous decision, retreating back into their shells and starting rolling again...toward Sammy, at which point Sammy began to wish he'd kept his mouth shut. "Shit!" Sammy roared, and began running away as fast as his legs could carry him (and as fast as he could carry Cody)... Cheerfully irritating music was playing as Captain Who, Mr Wok and Frobisher pushed open the door and entered the Double "R" diner. "You know," Who was saying, "I've been looking forward to having some of this famous cherry pie since we arrived." Ace, already sitting at the counter next to the Doctor, who was deeply engrossed in his latest slice of cherry pie, nudged her mentor. "Here's one of your lot," she murmured, exchanging looks of pity with Mr Wok and Frobisher. Frobisher nudged Wok as they passed her. "We're in there," he commented. Who came to rest next to the to the FBI man Ace was still salivating over. "Cherry pie and black coffee, please." "Certainly," Norma Jennings smiled. The FBI man smiled. "Good choice. I can recommend it." Who extended his hand. "Captain James T. Who." The FBI shook it. "Special Agent Dale Cooper. You in the air-force?" "Well, we fly around a lot," Who noted, as Wok and Frobisher sat down. "Knew it," Cooper nodded. "It was the outfit that gave it away." Who frowned. In the kitchen, Norma was hotting up the coffee when she noticed something outside. "Shelley?" she called. The younger woman joined her. "What are those things outside?" Shelley frowned. "Dunno. They look like tumbleweeds..." Back in the restaurant, Ace was still berating the Doctor over his choice of hang-outs. "This place is full of weirdos and wacko Jackos," she complained. "I haven't met any normal people yet." "Ace, you're exaggerating," the Doctor reproved. "The people here may act a little differently from Perivale, but this is a small town. I assure you, Ace, everyone here is perfectly sane and normal." The Log Lady tapped him on the shoulder. "My log saw something that night," she confided, before scuttling off again. The Doctor frowned. "Well, with one or two exceptions," he admitted. Ace rolled her eyes. "So," Lynda was continuing her 'interview' with Pete Martell, which, from his point of view, was seeming more and more like an interrogation. "Pete!" a female voice intruded on the conversation. An auburn-haired, not unattractive middle-aged woman came flouncing in. "What's she doing here?" she demanded, not actually looking at Lynda. "Lynda Day, Junior Gazette," Lynda told her smugly. "Get out," Catherine Martell replief flatly. "I need to speak to my husband." Lynda stared at her, open-mouthed. "I beg your pardon?" Catherine tried to take her by the arm. "I said get out." Lynda shrugged her off, fire in her eyes. "Who the hell do you think you are?" The door opened and Spike and Kenny dived in, slamming the door behind them. "Lynda!" Spike gasped. "What?!" Lynda roared. "There seems to be a problem," Spike told her. "This house is now surrounded by hungry alien furballs." Lynda narrowed her eyes. "Did Colin put you up to this?" There was a tapping on the window and Lynda turned to face three critters giving her the finger. "Hubba, hubba," one of them grunted in sub-titles. Lynda fainted. Catherine just rolled her eyes. "This town..." she muttered. Sammy burst into the diner, Cody in his arms. "Barricade the doors!" he bawled. "Call the army!" "Look at Cody," Frobisher chortled. "I told her he was boring company, but she wouldn't believe me." Todd jumped up. "Let go of my girlfriend, you ape!" he roared. "Fight, fight!" Frobisher jumped up excitedly. "Who's taking bets? My money's on the Aussie git with the girly haircut." Todd turned threateningly. "Who are you calling girly?" he demanded. "Er - Joe Bugner," Frobisher said quickly. Todd pulled a face. "Oh, everyone knows THAT," he turned back to Sammy. "Now let go of my girl before I wallop you, pal!" "Oh do shut up, you tiresome little Australian," Sammy helped Cody into a chair and shook her gently. Frobisher chuckled. "Cor, he knows how to chuck insults, our Sammy, doesn't he?" Cody began to come round. "W - what happened?" she mumbled. The patrons screamed as fifteen critters jumped up in front of the window, wearing toothy grins. "That did," Sammy confessed weakly. "A - ha," Frobisher grinned, rubbing his hands. "Some action at last." "I don't think much to this coffee," Who exclaimed. Evening. "I can't believe I actually fainted," Lynda was staring into the fire miserably as she, Spike, Kenny, Catherine and Pete huddled inside as the hungry critters gathered outside. "I mean, me? Tough, super-bitchy Lynda Day. And I fainted?" she sighed. "I guess I'm just all vulnerable and sweet inside," she grabbed Spike by the collar and dragged him over to her. "You tell anyone and I'll separate you from your genitals!" "I think the question is," the Doctor was standing on the counter in the diner, always in charge in a crisis, and trying to get everyone's attention, "how we deal with this threat." "I think the question is," Todd sat across from Sammy and Cody, who were staring starry-eyed at each other, "where Sammy ends up going - the intensive care ward, or the morgue!" "I think the question is," Cooper spoke up, "why the hell this stuck-up air-force Captain here doesn't like our coffee!" "I think the question is," the head critter spoke to it's minions in subtitles, "who do we eat first?" "I have an idea," the Doctor continued, oblivious to the fact no one was listening to a word he said (not even Ace, who was still drooling over Agent Cooper), "on how we destroy this threat before we get eaten." "You see," Todd continued, still unsuccessfully trying to direct Sammy and Cody's attention away from each other, "I have this rather large butcher's knife back at the hotel..." "I'm sorry," Who replied defensively, "it's just that I've always preferred tea." One of the critters licked it's lips hungrily. "I like the one in the pink mini-skirt," it commented. Todd turned to stare at it threateningly. "Just kidding," it chattered. Todd turned away. There was a smash of glass. The patrons turned. One of the critters was inside. "Just for the record," Catherine spoke up, "seeing as it looks like you'll be spending the night here - what with those man-eating alien thingy's outside - and taking into account the fact I didn't you invite you here in the first place - in the morning I'll be expecting money for board." Lynda stared at her. "You really are a heartless, conniving, cold-hearted bitch, aren't you?" she demanded. "I'm impressed." There was a smash of glass. The five of them leapt to their feet and whirled. Ten critters stood facing them, their shiny teeth glittering in the darkness. Lynda fainted. CHAPTER SIX "Nobody panic," the Doctor said sharply. "Keep calm. Remember: The first one to run will be the first one to die." "What are they?" Sammy breathed, something finally having happened to turn him away from staring adoringly at Cody. "They're called Krites," the Doctor informed them. "They're alien, they're hungry - and they're the most effective killers in the twelve galaxies." "Er - professor," Ace was looking at how one critter was rapidly becoming three, four and five, critters, and more. "Yes, Ace?" the Doctor inquired. "You were talking about some plan before," Ace turned to face him. "Don't you think this might be the right time to use it?" "Mm," the Doctor mused. "Ace, you've got your backpack. Do you happen to have your rope ladder in there?" "Of course," Ace grinned. "Never leave home without it." "Excellent," the Doctor grinned. Ace frowned. "Why?" The Doctor jumped down from the counter. "Because now we may just be in business." Catherine, Pete, Kenny and Spike (holding the unconscious Lynda in his arms) backed away toward the fire as the critters advanced. "We've got to get further away," Pete said. "Pete," Catherine said wearily, "your ability to constantly state the perfectly obvious never ceases to amaze me." "Why, thankyou Catherine," Pete smiled. Spike tried to raise a smile. "If I back away any further, I'll burn my backside off." "Then do it," Lynda yawned, coming round. "What happened?" "You fainted again," Kenny informed her. "Oh," Lynda frowned. "Why?" Kenny pointed at the advancing critters. "Oh, I see," Lynda nodded, and fainted again. "Actually, I think I prefer her like that, don't you?" Kenny commented. Spike grinned. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, the critters stopped their inexorable advance and stood stock still, ears twitching, as if listening to some high-pitched music or message. Then they went back to being harmless balls of fur and rolled silently away. "They're going," Pete crowed, "they're going!" Catherine turned on him. "What did I say?" The Doctor was in the diner, blowing on some kind of whistle. Ace was nowhere to be seen. "Well, I'm impressed so far," Todd stood up aggressively. "There's now a hundred or so here. What the hell are you doing?" "Sit down and shut up," Sammy ordered. Cody gazed at him in adoration. "Oh Sammy, you're so masterful." Todd glared. "What kind of whistle is that?" Norma asked. Frobisher saw the opportunity for a sexist joke and wasn't about to pass it up. "I thought you'd have known," he grinned. "It's a dog whistle." Norma clouted him. On a planet, far, far away, in the constellation of ChrisBulis - er I mean Kasterbullis, on the planet known as Gallifrey, sat a robot dog named K9. K9 had his head down, half-asleep, when he heard a signal he hadn't heard in so many years. A dog whistle. But no ordinary dog whistle. K9 lifted his head up. "Master?" he croaked. Moving into action for the first time in many years, his computer brain buzzing with memories, the robot dog slid up and down the room, out into the corridor, up and down that, back into the room, into Mistress Leela's room where he watched her and Andred playing "hide the sausage" for several voyeuristic minutes, and then back into the room again, all the time his sensors scanning The Capitol, Outer Gallifrey, and eventually the rest of the nine galaxies, until he could still no find no trace of the Doctor. Irritated, the robot dog stopped his tail wagging, relaxed his ears, put his head down, said "Aw, fuck it", and went back to sleep. Like the Pied Piper of Hamlin, the Doctor came prancing out of the Double "R" diner with almost two hundred critters docilely following him. He danced, he pranced, he even did one or two cartwheels and back-flips, but all the time he kept blowing on K9's old dog whistle, ensuring the complete loyalty and obedience of the Krites behind him. Eventually, coming to Twin Peaks' waterfall, he thought a silent prayer, hoped he wouldn't get arthritis in his fingers at the vital moment, and dived off the edge, with the critters, like two hundred little lemmings, loyally following him. The ground rushed toward the Doctor. At the last possible moment, Ace's rope ladder came hurtling toward him from a ledge, and he caught it, swinging himself onto the ledge beside his young companion, and taking the dog whistle out of his mouth. Two hundred critters went hurtling past, to their deaths. "Is that all of them?" Ace demanded. "I think so," the Doctor grinned smugly. "So, now it's over, is that what we came here for?" Ace questioned. The Doctor looked at her. "Whatever do you mean?" he asked innocently. "I mean," Ace began, "you're not telling me we come here for coffee and pie, and this just happened to happen? You planned it, Doctor, you ALWAYS plan it - so tell me, is this what we're really here for?" "No," the Doctor replied. "I admit - I didn't just come here for coffee and pie, but nor did I expect this to happen. I came here for something quite different." "What?" Ace demanded. The Doctor stared at her in his most infuriating manner. "Unfinished business," he told her. "Unfinished business." Ace groaned. "There always is." "It's all over," the Doctor announced proudly as he strolled back into the Double "R" diner, Ace by his side. "The Krites have been dealt with." "Hurrah!" the patrons cheered. The Doctor bowed. "Give it up, Professor, you're beginning to get a big head," Ace reproved. The Doctor glared. "Right," Todd stood up. "I'm going back to the Great Northern," he looked at Cody. "Coming?" Cody turned. "Sammy?" "You go," Sammy told her. "I'll see you in the restaurant for breakfast tomorrow." "Okay," Cody got up, "and Sammy - thank you," she kissed him on the cheek, and she and the ever-grating Todd left the diner. Sammy sat, shocked, a warm glow starting to envelope him. "Wow," he breathed. "Jesus, Sammy, she actually LIKES you. She actually KISSED you," he stood up, suddenly confident. "Let's face it, world, I'm a stud!" "Dream on," Frobisher wisecracked as he, Who and Wok approached. "Hey you!" Agent Cooper grabbed Who and whirled him around. "I want to have it out with you right now!" "About what?" Who was flabbergasted. "Nobody insults this diner's black coffee and gets away with it!" Cooper roared. Spike and Lynda were walking down the corridors of the Great Northern Hotel. "I appreciate what you did," Lynda told him. "Those - those things..." she shuddered, reaching her door. Spike put his arm around her. "Hey - don't get any ideas," she warned him. "And don't tell anyone about me fainting, okay?" "Sure thing, boss," Spike walked away as Lynda shut the door on him, encountering Sam on the corridor. "Hey, Spike," Sam accosted him. "Wasn't that Krite thing just wild?" "Yeah," Spike chuckled. "Lynda fainted." Cody and Todd marched into Todd's hotel room, engaged in a blazing row. "You're either my girlfriend or you're not!" Todd raged. "So are you or aren't you?" "Up until today I would have said yes," Cody admitted, "but now I'm not so sure." "That Sammy Davis Jnr!" Todd roared. "I'll kill him!" "It's not just Sammy," Cody protested. "Of course it is!" Todd spat. "Everything was just fine until he came along." "Was it?" Cody said quietly. "I'm not so sure." Todd rounded on her. "What do you mean?" "I mean that this morning, even before Sammy came along, you were acting weird, different. You weren't yourself, Todd," Cody explained. "And since Sammy came along, you've been behaving like an absolute jerk. I'm getting sick of it, Todd, I'm really getting sick of it." "And what about this Sammy?" Todd leered. "What do you think of him?" Cody looked him straight in the eye. "I won't lie to you, Todd. I like him - I like him a lot. He's funny, he's cute, he's charming, he's brave, he's shy and he's warm and he knows how to make a girl feel special." "You sound like you're in love with him," Todd jeered. "Maybe I am," Cody replied. Todd hit her in the face, knocking her to the ground. Benjamin Horne was sitting in his office, smoking his cigar. Carefully, he lifted up a secret flap on his desk and pressed a button. Slowly, very slowly, so as to be unperceptible to those inside, the Great Northern Hotel began to lift up off the ground, revealing a gigantic hole underneath it. And something was coming out of the hole. Cody climbed to her feet, sobbing, holding her face. "I'm leaving, Todd," she cried. "It's over between us. Finished. For good. I'm leaving," she raced to the door and tried to open it. Locked. She looked back. Smirking, Todd held the key in his hand. "You're not going anywhere," he told her, turning to stare at his reflection in the wall-length mirror. And finding Bob staring back at him. Slowly, under cover of darkness, something was crawling from the newly uncovered hole underneath the Great Northern Hotel. But not just one thing. Dozens of the creatures, who, in the occasional gleam of light, could be seen to be green and scaly, were crawling from the underground. The Visitors from Sirius were coming to claim Twin Peaks as their own. CHAPTER SEVEN It took only a few minutes for the Visitors to all come up from their hiding place. "Now what do we do, Diana?" one of the reptiles growled.
Copyright © 1992 Ian Kidd |