Doctor Trek - Cracked (3) need your help to locate, identify and destroy a threat to you and your world. A threat that could jeapordise the existence of your entire Universe!" There was an uneasy silence in the room. "Bor-ing!" Homer complained loudly. Ian and Ace were running frantically through the woods away from the Rani when a tree branch suddenly reached out and grabbed Ace, pulling her to it's trunk. Ace let out a yell of surprise and fear. Ian stopped. "What the hell - ?" "Help me!" Ace yelled, struggling frantically to no avail. "Stop! Don't move!" a familiar voice called from across the clearing. Ian whirled. "Doctor!" The Seventh Doctor emerged from the shadows, gesturing with his umbrella. "Ace - don't struggle! The tree won't hurt you!" Ace ceased struggling. Immediately, the tree branch ceased it's grip on her. "What the - " Ian began. "You're in a minefield," the Doctor told them. "The tree prevented you from walking into one, Ace. It saved your life." Ace looked up at the tree in wonder. "Come this way," the Doctor urged, gesturing them toward him. "Walk only where I say. Only where I say!" In the Conference Hall, Who waved down the audience's protests. "You don't believe me," he said. "I can understand that. Which is why I prepared this earlier," he nodded to Fred, who activated a device. Numerous screens came down from the ceiling and images began playing across them. "Your lives," Who began, "as seen in MY universe. The REAL universe." Across the screen, credits and episodes of various series such as "Dawson's Creek", "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "The Simpsons" began playing. "I hope you know what you're doing," Fred commented to Who. "This could provoke mass hysteria." "I know," Who frowned, "but it's the only way." "Joshua Jackson?" Pacey exclaimed disgustedly, watching the "Dawson's Creek" credits. "Who the HELL is Joshua Jackson?" "Wasn't he in those "Ducks" movies?" Joey inquired. "Oh yeah, that's right. Man, those movies were classics," Pacey cheered up considerably. "SO funny." Joey looked at him. "What? They WERE!" Lisa was shaking her head in existential horror. "The thought that our lives and the behaviour of our family is not only viewed by millions of people but also considered to be humorous entertainment fills me with a horror and a dread of a kind I have never known." "What are you talking about?" Bart enthused. "I think it's COOL!" Lisa looked at her older brother and shook her head in a mixture of disgust, horror, pity and shame. The Doctor had led Ace and Ian out of the minefield to safety and now took them further into the woods where the trusty and familiarly sturdy police box exterior of the TARDIS now stood. The Doctor unlocked the door. "We should get away from this place as soon as we can." "I'll say," Ace agreed heartily. "Not so fast." The Doctor, Ace and Ian swung around to see the Rani, weapon raised. "IN!" Quickly, the Doctor shoved Ace and Ian into the TARDIS and slammed the door shut. "Brave, but foolish," the Rani mocked. The Doctor turned to face her. "Mayhaps. But not as foolish as you, Rani." The Rani raised a supercilious eyebrow. "Is that so?" she asked, amused. "Then why am I the one with the weapon?" "Yes, but you won't use it," the Doctor commented. "Won't I?" the Rani fired. Nothing happened. She fired again. Again, nothing happened. "Or should I say you CAN'T use it," the Doctor smiled. "H-how?" the Rani gasped. "My future self will have popped back and disarmed it," the Doctor smiled. "You see, Rani, I knew you were expecting me. But I was expecting YOU." He reached into his jacket and removed something. The expression on the Rani's face changed to one of total, uncomprehending horror. Inside the TARDIS, Ace was looking around in fond recognition, while Ian was looking around in gobsmacked awe. Even after all he had been through, even after being on the TARDISPRISE, being in Twin Peaks, and having sex with a fictional character for much of the last year, being in Doctor Who's TARDIS was still an awesome experience. Ian toddled off down the TARDIS corridor, eager to explore. "Don't go too far!" Ace called. "You'll get lost." She switched on the scanner, but could see neither the Doctor nor the Rani. "I hope the Professor's okay dealing with that bitch." "Ace!" Ian yelled. There was panic and terror in his voice. "Ace, come here - QUICKLY!" "I told you not to go too far!" Ace said crossly. She ran after him. Ian was standing outside the TARDIS store room, a look of horror on his face. "What is it?" "We've got to get out of here!" Ian told her, panic-stricken. "Why?" "The Doctor," Ian told her between clenched teeth. "He's the one." "The one WHAT?!" Ace demanded. "He's the one who tried to kill us. The one the Captain's after. He's the VILLAIN!" Ian cried. "Don't be ridiculous," Ace admonished. "You don't believe me?" Ian opened the store room door. "LOOK!" Ace looked, and her eyes widened in disbelief. The TARDIS store room was now home to several thermonuclear missiles. "He's the one who nuked Ramsay Street!" Ian yelled. "He's the one behind it all!" Ace stared at him in horror. CHAPTER SEVEN "Ssshh!" Again, Captain Who calmed the babble in the Conference Hall, switching off the screens. "Thank you. I reveal this to you not to hurt you, or to cause you unnecessary distress, but because you NEED TO KNOW. I need your help. A few days ago, the suburb of Erinsborough on YOUR world, the setting of a popular - well, in a used-to-be-good-once-upon- a-time-kind-of-way sort of popular - tv soap called "Neighbours"." "I was in that," Cody said to Fred with a kind of perverse pride. "Played by Amelia Frid or someone. It's be interesting to meet her." Sammy didn't look too thrilled by the idea. "Was destroyed in a nuclear catastrophe that, quite literally, should never have happened," Who informed them. "Someone or SOMETHING has declared war on the Fiction Universe. And I need your help to stop them!" "He's so...FORCEFUL," Ally murmured dreamily. The Conference doors opened and Ace and Ian came charging in. "Captain!" Ace yelled. "Not now!" Who waved them away. "But Captain..." Ian protested. "I said not now, Ian!" Who admonished sharply. "I'm kind of in the middle of something here!" "But we know who's behind it all!" Ace yelled. Who whipped his head around. "What? Well why didn't you say?" "You wouldn't LET us!" Ian declared angrily. "Never mind that now," Who waved at them dismissively. "Well then, out with it. Who is it?" The Conference doors banged open and four Ogrons stormed into the room. "Oh no, not these fellows again!" Who scowled. The Ogrons began firing into the air. The denizens of the Fiction Universe began to scream and yell. "Stop!" Fred yelled, running at them. "Stop it!" "Fred, no!" Who protested. The Ogron leader turned his weapon on Fred and fired. Fred screamed and collapsed, unmoving. Who dived to her side, examining her. "She's dead," he said, almost incredulously. His tone turned from bewilderment to righteous anger. "You've KILLED her!" he roared. "And he'll kill you if you offer any further assistance." The Ogrons parted and through the Conference doors marched the Seventh Doctor. He marched fearlessly up to Who, noticed Fred and doffed his hat in a mark of respect. "Tut, tut," he shook his head. "What a terrible waste." Who looked at him in bewilderment. "What are YOU doing here?" "That's what we tried to tell you, Captain," Ace began, glaring at the Doctor. "What?" Who scowled. "He's the one," Ian said bitterly. "He's the one who tried to have those things kill me and Ace. He's the one who nuked Ramsay Street." "That's absolutely ABSURD!" Who protested. "No, Captain," the Doctor replied coldly. "But it is absolutely correct." Who stared at him, utterly thrown. "But..." he protested, "but...you're DOCTOR WHO!" The Doctor regarded him icily. "Your point being?" "My POINT?!" Who's temper flared. "You want to know my POINT?! I'll tell you my POINT, you irritating little Scots git! You're supposed to be the HERO! You're supposed to be one of the good guys, for goodness sakes, travelling the universe saving the innocent and taking on evil! What's the matter, did you lose your job description or something? You're supposed to be on the side of the angels, man!" "I still am," the Doctor informed him. "Really?" Who ranted. "Is that so? And how exactly is nuking a sweet little suburb in Australia and sending these backward monstrosities to kill your former companion and her fiance supposed to be HEROIC?! Please, do tell." "I'm only doing the same thing as you, Captain. Trying to save the Fiction Universe," the Doctor glowered menacingly from under his hat. "Only doing it rather more efficiently, I fancy." "Great Jumping Gobstoppers, what are you TALKING about, man!?" Who roared in exasperation. "Why do you think I did what I did?" the Doctor demanded. "Nuked that quaint little suburb?" He looked at Ace mournfully. "Tried to kill my best friend? Because I HAD TO. I had to stop the contamination of BOTH our universes." "What?!" Who exclaimed. "This is your fault," the Doctor looked at him resentfully. "You started this. I know Jip opened the first wormhole, but you allowed this boy - " he indicated Sammy, " - to stay in our universe. To be with that girl. A real boy and a fictional girl. It should never have been allowed." "My God," Cody realised. "The nuke...it was for us, wasn't it?" "What?!" Who exclaimed. "We went to Joe and Melanie's wedding," Cody said, shocked. "We'd only just left...he mistimed it...the nuke was for US...for me and Sammy!" Who looked at the Doctor. "What is WRONG with you? Are you insane?" he l ooked him up and down. "Shouldn't you be Paul McGann by now, anyway?" "That's my point, Captain. Thank you for making it for me," the Doctor replied. "Your contamination of our fictional world has given us knowledge of our destinies, our "continuity" - and the power to change it. Look at that girl - " he indicated Cody again. "She was supposed to be with Todd Landers, go to the US, dump him unconvincingly via letter, then come back two years later as Peta Brady." Cody shuddered at the thought. Sammy shuddered even more. "Instead, Todd was killed in Twin Peaks, Sammy went to live in Ramsay Street, and now she's abandoned her original continuity entirely to be with him. Because of YOU," the Doctor hissed at Who. "Because of YOUR interference. YOUR contamination. So why should I follow through with my destiny, my "continuity"? If she can cheat hers, why can't I cheat mine? You really think I WANT to become that useless, talentless PRETTY BOY?!" he roared. "I think you've completely lost your mind," Who noted. "And if I had, whose fault would THAT be?" the Doctor demanded harshly. "Let me guess," Who pondered sarcastically. "Mine?" "Oh yes, Captain. YOURS." the Doctor said savagely. "You who forced me - oh so violently - to confront the status of my fictionality. And with "Battlefield", of all stories!" "What's wrong with "Battlefield"?" Ian wanted to know. Everyone looked at him, even the Ogrons. "I always thought it was a great story," Ian protested. Everyone looked at him, even the Ogrons. "Oh, SHUT UP!" Ian stormed off to sulk in the corner. Who turned back to the Doctor. "So you're saying this is all MY FAULT?!" "Precisely," the Doctor glowered. "And now I am going to do whatever I have to to save the Fiction Universe from your interference, your contamination. By removing all evidence of that contamination." "Like Sammy and Cody," Who realised. "Precisely." the Doctor nodded sagely. "Like me," Ace realised sadly. The Doctor looked pained. "I'm sorry, Ace. But it has to be done." "But why?" Who cried plaintively. "Fiction CANNOT co-exist with reality," the Doctor said. "It's against all the laws of the universe." "But..." Who tried but failed to think of a counter-argument. "I'm sorry," the Doctor said sadly. "Ogrons - prepare to - " "What if there's no such thing as fiction?" Cody asked suddenly. Who swung around. "What?" "Well, I mean - it just doesn't make any sense, does it?" Cody inquired. "I'm fictional in your world, but Sammy's fictional in mine. So which is right?" "What do you mean Sammy's fictional in YOUR world?" Who narrowed his eyes. "An old tv show called "Wickersley Comprehensive School," Cody replied. "Sammy was one of the main characters." Who frowned. "Sammy - is this true?" "Yeah," Sammy nodded. "Cody told me about it way back, back when we were first in Twin Peaks." "Oh my giddy aunt," Who closed his eyes. "I should've realised...I've been a fool!" "I fail to see..." the Doctor began. Who swung round on him again. "Don't you understand? Don't you realise what this means? This ISN'T the Fiction Universe! You're NOT a fictional character, and neither is Cody, or Ace. THERE'S NO SUCH THING!" "I don't understand," the Doctor admitted. "Neither did I, until just now," Who acknowledged. "But don't you see? We are simply two different, equally valid dimensions! Neither of us is real, or the other fictional! It's ALL real! And it's meant to be together!" "How can you be so sure?" the Doctor growled. "Think about it!" Who urged excitedly. "The universes already exist together! In tv, in movies, in books, they already come together as FICTION. It's the two dimensions getting to know each other! And why? For the inevitable meeting! The two universes are SUPPOSED to come together as one! Not in the sudden, violent, ridiculously destructive way that Jip tried to do it, but SLOWLY, naturally, over the course of time. Sammy and Cody being together wasn't a mistake, or an abhorrence, or a contaminant, it was the first natural step in universal dimensional evolution!" "I - I..." the Doctor looked shaken. Who stepped forward and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "You did what you thought was right, Doctor. I know that now. But you were wrong, Doctor, you were WRONG! You made a mistake, but you're still a hero - as long as you admit your mistake - and correct it!" The Doctor stood, unmoving, suddenly looking very old and tired. Finally, he turned to the Ogrons. "Throw away your guns," he said. The crowd cheered. Ace went over and hugged him tightly. They cried into each other's arms. "Did what I think just happened just happen?" Sammy wanted to know. "I think so," Who grinned at Cody delightedly. "Your girlfriend just saved the universe!" "Ah well," Cody adopted a mock-snobbish pose,"I am a woman of many talents," she said airily, then grinned. Sammy hugged her. The Doctor broke his embrace with Ace. "I will accept my destiny," he acknowledged. "But what about your friend? And the people of Erinsborough?" "I fear Fred's time may have come," Who said sadly. "As for Ramsay Street..." he grinned suddenly. "I've a feeling things will work out for the best. With a little understanding..." he added. EPILOGUE Night had fallen in Twin Peaks, and a small fire in the forest marked Fred's funeral pyre. Who watched the dancing flames sadly, and cleared his throat. "We are here tonight, to pay tribute to our friend..." he hesitated. "Fred," Frobisher prompted. "Fred," Who said, more confidently. "She was a friend, a companion, and we will miss her... her..." he flailed desperately. "Company?" Sammy suggested. "Her company, yes of course," Who mouthed a silent "thank you" at Sammy. "Her company, and her...her...her..." "Why don't you tell some stories about the good times you had, the adventures you shared?" Ace suggested. "Splendid idea!" Who agreed. "I'll always remember that time on Delta Sigma, when Fred actually ATE our enemy..." "That was Mr Wok," Frobisher interjected. "Oh, right," Who frowned. "Then I'll always remember that time on Delta Magna, when you and Fred caught me with that dominatrix who had a whip around my neck - " "THAT was Mr Wok!" Frobisher interjected. "Oh right, yes of course," Who said hurriedly. "Then I'll always remember that time on Earth, London, 1985, when she gave us tips on how to survive inside "Forbidden Planet"." "That was ME!" Sammy declared, outraged. "Oh, right," Who paused for a moment, then leant in to Frobisher and whispered quietly, "which one was Fred again then, exactly?" An unlikely troupe was headed for two even unlikelier space/time craft by the entrance to Twin Peaks' woods. The Doctor had moved the TARDIS, parking it next to the teleport cubicle. The Doctor and Ace walked by themselves, off to one side from the others. "So what happened to the Rani?" Ace asked. "Oh, HER," the Doctor laughed dismissively. "I took out my hand mirror and showed her her reflection. Her mascara was slightly smudged; she ran off crying," he shook his head. "Silly woman." They walked on. "Are you ashamed of me?" the Doctor asked finally. Ace slid her arm through his. "Never," she replied. They walked on for a while longer. Finally, she said "I can't come with you this time, can I?" "No. Not this time," the Doctor agreed. "This is one destiny I have to face alone." More silence. "I'm sorry about you and Ian." "Thank you," Ace smiled sadly. "I just wish I knew what I was going to do now." "Well, you can't come with me..." the Doctor reached the TARDIS, doffing his hat in the direction of Captain Who's party, "...but someone might have room for you." Ace hugged him. "Goodbye, Doctor." "Goodbye, Ace," the Doctor slipped into the TARDIS. Ace began trudging toward Who's party. When she looked back the TARDIS had gone. Captain Who looked over as Ace joined them. "Hello, Ace," "Hi," Ace began awkwardly. "Captain, I was wondering if it would be alright if I..." "Joined us?" Who asked. Ace nodded nervously. "Why not? And if it makes you feel better, you won't be the only new crew member aboard the TARDISPRISE." Ace looked at him. "Sammy and Cody have also accepted my offer to join us." "Wicked!" Ace jumped for joy, running over and hugging Sammy and Cody. "Seriously, Captain," Ace grinned, flushed with happiness, "that's ace!" "It is indeed," Who beamed. "Oh yeah," Frobisher agreed darkly. "Just ACE." "Come on, then," Who herded Mum, Dad, Ian and Rudolph into the teleport cubicle. "I'll drop you folks back home, and then there's a little matter to sort out..." "Teenagers!" Doug Willis laughed goodnaturedly at the Waterhole. "Who can fathom 'em, eh?" A strange noise filled the air. "What on Earth is that?" Helen looked around bewilderedly. "It's coming from outside," Jim replied. He and his fellow Ramsay Street residents exited the Waterhole and stood outside on the terrace in the Lassiters Hotel complex. Standing on the bridge over the pond were Captain Who, Frobisher, Ace, Sammy and Cody. "Cody!" Pam cried delightedly. "Mum! Dad!" Cody ran over and hugged her parents warmly. "We thought you'd gone," Doug exclaimed. "We had,” Cody withdrew from the embrace, trying not to let them see the tears of joy in her eyes. “But I thought - what the hell? A few more hours won’t kill me.” The Willis’ laughed. A few hours later, it was dark out, but the new crew of the starship TARDISPRISE sat out on the terrace with several Ramsay Street residents, drinking and eating and talking happily. “Thank you, Captain,” Sammy said to Who in a quiet moment. “You’ve made her so happy.” “So have you, Sammy, so have you,” Who beamed benignly. “At the end of the day, this is what it’s all about. Helping people, and caring about each other. Do that, and you CAN find the perfect blend,” he smiled charmingly. “That’s when good neighbours become good friends.” “Captain,” Ace threw some rice crackers at him, laughing. “Shut up!”
Copyright © 2003 Ian Kidd |