Remember Me (3) This voice could pack quite the punch. What a powerful tool, the voice, it can create so much in person's mind. The way in which we speak, the words we chose to speak. Jasmine's heart still skipped a beat when ever she recalled those three words…… " I…want….you….." "Good God," Jasmine dared to say aloud, " I can still hear his intake of breath as he whispered those words with so much passion and amazement at himself." Jasmine remembered how stunned she had felt at those words and the silence after he hung up the phone. Jasmine was not able to continue typing any words to him. She was totally in awe of how reckless they had been. "Can you feel the tension?" he finally wrote. "Can I? Good God, can I?" she thought to herself and with shaking and trembling hands she wrote, "yes, I can feel it…. I just don't believe the lines we have just crossed. I am a loss as to what to think or how to react." Jasmine started to tremble in utter disbelief as she starred at the computer monitor, trying to gain an understanding of what had just happened between them. She was totally baffled by this turn of events. "I'm sorry," he continued, "if this makes you uncomfortable. I am so surprised at myself for calling you, never mind those words I spoke. I am astonished at how much I really do mean them. That scares me. Forgive me for feeling rather vulnerable right now, and if I am frightening you, I am truly sorry. I'm just being honest and trying to make sense of this as well…. I just, don't know… Good God, woman! What have you done to me? Why have you done this to me?" Jasmine could sense his urgency, his panic as she read the words. The feelings of turmoil which now stirred was overpowering and unexplainable, totally unexpected. One part of her wanted to laugh hysterically at this stupid joke, see humor in the absurdity of it all. Another part, her sexual appreciation for romance, was totally bewitched by the entire situation and the road it had now taken. Her mind was rambling a mile a minute yet she could not find words to express what she was feeling or thinking. She really did not know quite what to make of it. 'I don't know what to say to you. What have I done to you? I'm so sorry, I did not intend to mess with your mind to this extent, nor did I wish to add any more stresses to your already stressful life. At this point, I am not sure of anything, intentions or otherwise. I just never thought this could happen. I have to admit, at the beginning, I thought this only a game. A harmless flirt and thrill to get reaction. I had not anticipated any of this. Another admission of honesty for you, I did not intend to continue chatting with you either. I had planned to play along for a few emails and then go on with my already complicated life. I never imagined I would loose all perspective or control. I was sure i could handle myself and my emotions." 'I know what you mean," he had written, " I was only going to toy with you for a few days an then leave Yahoo forever and go on with my busy life. I had no intention of any more than that. What I did not foresee was that the more we chatted, the more I enjoyed your wit and your conversations. It provided me with a release. I found myself totally intrigued and found that I quite liked you. God I sit here and laugh at the stupidity of all of this and the road we have traveled in such a short time." "Understatement of the year." thought Jasmine as she came back to reality. When she thought back to all of this, she was still surprised. They crossed some major lines, all rules disappeared. Once they allowed each other to hear a voice, well that changed it all for them. This was no longer a game but a very real situation on hand. No longer an illusion but a fantasy game come true. Jasmine still was unsure if she could really accept this or him into her life. Gosh, she did not know how he fit in. "How would I ever try to explain or make sense of this?" wondered Jasmine. She remembered her last and parting words to him that night. "Our fantasy has crossed the lines into a reality that is surreal. This situation of ours has consumed my every thought, my dreams, my life. I don't know how to handle this from here. What a complicated mess we have tangled ourselves in. I feel totally ashamed at how easily I gave you information about myself, how easily I jeopardized my safety, my life. Thank god, I feel this trust, I just hope it is justified. I am terrified at this new turn of events. I feel the need to apologize for messing with your mind, adding any further stresses to your life. I hope that you can forgive me and forget me. I think we really need space and really need to disassociate ourselves." Jasmine recalled the emotion and turmoil she felt at that moment suspended in time. "I know this has really taken us off the straight and narrow road, onto a beaten track. I'm not so sure either one of us can really fathom any of this. I need time to sort this out, put space between us. This line we have crossed has taken us to a whole new dimension of this relationship. God, I hope this makes sense to you." And they had said goodbye, Jasmine cried herself to sleep that night with pangs of guilt for her stupidity and pangs of hunger for a love that could never be. She did continue to receive notes from him, but could not bring herself to answer them. This was not a man that she would easily forget. His last email was brief but held a ton of emotion and tugged at her heart still today. "I know that I don't want you to walk out of my life. I really have enjoyed our chats. I can still hear your voice when I read your lines or remember. You are now too real to me. I can take the 'dear john' if that is what you feel is best. I can live with that. I respect you too much to overstep any boundaries. Know that I will always think of you as my special friend. I have no intention to hurt you. Please don't panic. I won't act on any of this. I feel quite vulnerable myself, as I have much to lose. We have crossed too many lines in an amazingly short time. This is not like me at all. In fact, no one who knows me, would ever conceive any of this to be possible. I won't call you again, but I do hope that one day, we can meet and put all of this behind us and just remain friends. That much I know I do wish. I end this with one thought for you…. just remember me and smile knowing I will always think of you as a special friend." And that was the last she had heard from him. Goodness what a mess! How could one confused, fantasy driven woman feel so torn between a man who battered her and a fictitious illusion online? What a wreck she ended up. And now today, here she was, sitting in a coffee house, waiting to meet her mystery man with a voice. What an idiot! She really must be quite mad. "I cannot believe how far I let this go. Nor can I believe, I am truly willing to meet him in person. God, I hope this does not turn out to haunt me later." Jasmine was so torn with her emotional feelings of guilt, embarrassment, stupidity and arousal. She hoped that their curiosity did not add any more danger to an already out of hand situation. "What a seductive game of temptations." If only she could quieten the erratic beat of her heart and the nagging feeling in her brain. Jasmine turned her thoughts to the flickering flames in the fireplace. She studied their dance and watched the burning embers tease the walls of their confinement. She let her mind and her breath slow with the mesmerizing dance of the fire. Jasmine finally found herself relaxing. One o'clock came and went, time slowly ticking. Each second leaving an impact of total gut wrenching anticipation. Jasmine was a nervous wreck. Finally, the door chimed as it was opened. Someone was entering! The bright sun was shining and leaving him in a glare that Jasmine could not see through. A moment later the anticipation dissolved, he turned and stepped toward the counter. "Oh my God! It is the man from the airport! But what is he doing here?" Jasmine's thoughts were ragging so quickly in her mind. "What is he looking around for? Could it possibly be? Oh God, he is walking toward me" Jasmine turned red immediately upon his gaze and was totally beside herself. John had quickly scanned the room and only one woman was seated alone. He was totally taken aback that that woman was the same foolish woman from the airport. Goodness they had certainly crossed paths on more than one occasion this week. Suddenly his gaze returned to her, and his mind quickly registered and tried to make sense of the jargon in his brain. "Great Scots, could this be my lovely friend from the other side of the monitor?" John crossed the room and walked towards her. What a beautiful woman she was. Her skin a glow with embarrassment and excitement he hoped. He stood over her and said, "Hello, I guess we meet again. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I feel this urgency to ask you a small question. I think this is the part where I say, Hello, my name is John. John Caeden Trent. Remember me?" Jasmine near died on the spot. "Oh my! You! I cannot believe it." She and John both found themselves laughing hysterically. "Sit down with me - can you believe this?" They shook hands and caught up with what had been happening in their lives since last they spoke so many months ago. Their nervousness left quickly enough. In no time at all, they were chatting as though they had been long time friends of forever. They laughed at the peculiarities of the entire situation, including the brief meetings at the airport and in the park. "This is really funny, you know. When I saw you gazing at me so intently, with a very apparent agenda, I might add, I was very taken with you. You created an impact that morning. It left me, well, it left me thinking of you with the same admiration. Gosh, I can't believe we have met, and not just once. This is hilarious! I have to admit I am a little nervous. And I have to say, I find you, the most incredibly, beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." All this said, John sat back and just starred at Jasmine. She was very much thrilled about this as he seemed to be. "Well, I am amazed! Two chance meetings and now finally I get to gaze into your eyes and see what you are feeling and thinking. You really are transparent you know, or is that because I feel like I know you?" They both laughed. John took her hand and asked, "You feel this tension? It is very much still a part of us." Jasmine shook her head at the astonishing emotions they could still create for one another. "I still find this totally bewitching, but I do think it is because we brought so much into each others lives, all quite by accident. We were able to really share ideas and feelings about all kinds of things. Why you know more about me, than I think I know about myself. You were always so good at reading me. But there is one thing I have to tell you. I have deceived you - I'm in the middle of a divorce. I am trying to leave my abusive husband. Phew. Now it is said. I did not want you to know about my turmoils. But I feel, that now, since we have met, I need to be honest." Jasmine took a deep breath and hoped he would understand but not try to analyze it all. John touched her cheek softly, and said, "My love, I knew that you were going through a terrible ordeal, and tried to help you see that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I had no idea to the extent of your pain and suffering, but I knew you were searching for answers. I am glad you are trying to find yourself and fix your life. More than you can know. I am glad to see you have the strength to carry on." His kind words brought tears to Jasmine's eyes. "Listen, let's go for a walk. I discovered this really nice place in Osage Hills today, and I want to take you there. We have so much to discuss and reveal. I also have friends there, who I was supposed to meet, but I will cancel those plans. Right now, what matters is time for each other. Obviously, we were meant to meet and I want to discover all the reasons why." Jasmine grabbed her purse and as they were leaving she told John about Teri and Randy wanting her to meet them as well in Osage Hills. "Randy and Teri?" John stopped dead in his tracks? He said, "You are not going to believe this, but my friends are also, Randy and Teri, what do you suppose the odds are…..?" Well that question of odds was not left unanswered for long. Jasmine made a quick call to Teri to cancel their plans for Osage Hills, because she ran into a special friend. John then called the same number and told his friend Randy, that he was meeting a lady friend and couldn't meet at Osage hills. With laughter, both Jasmine and John spoke into the phone, and said, 'We've already met - don't wait up!" "I would love to see the looks on both their faces right now!" Both Jasmine and John howled with laughter and made their way to the great State Park, Osage Hills. They walked hand in hand together for hours talking about Jasmine's life she was trying to leave behind her and John explained to her that his wife had left him for an old flame. Both victims of circumstance and both drawn together - it had to be fate. The attraction was very much there for them as well as mutual respect and heartfelt emotions that ran very deep indeed. They sat under a beautiful oak tree, both in each other's arms. Jasmine laid her head on his shoulder and allowed herself to be taken into his arms. With a sigh, she relaxed and gazed into his gorgeous eyes. They listenened to the beat of the drums and the chanting of the Osage Indians. The powwow was going on at the lower level of the park. They could see the multicolored costumes of the traditional dance. The flames of the fire lit up the sky and sounds of the drums and chants echoed in the air. "You feel so wonderful against me, I have imagined this very moment." he whispered into her ears, his voice gruff with a desire so strong. Good was not the word she wanted to use to describe what it felt like to her. It was beautiful, fantastic, phenomenal! She found herself so desperately wanting to touch him. She turned herself, so as to take her arms and wrap them around his neck. She ever so shyly moved them from his shoulders to wander down to his hands and then back up again. She took a stolen moment to touch his chest. God, his muscles felt like hot burning steel against her fingers. She rubbed her face into his hairy chest, and took in intoxicating smell, she had come to enjoy. He pulled her head back and gently kissed her nose, her eyes with such a softness that made her heart pound. Her thoughts were swimming with the erotic feelings of his touch. His lips trailed down her nose to her full mouth. They lingered there, teasing and pulling at hers. Her lips parted in anticipation of something greater. He then kissed her softly. "She tastes so fantastic" he thought and hungrily devoured her with a kiss to leave her breathless. She moaned and leaned closer to him. This was all he needed to be encouraged to go on. He let his tongue slowly explore the recesses of her sweet tasting mouth. A growl of satisfaction escaped both of them as she too imitated his movements. Her burning desire to be his, left her feeling vulnerable and weak in the knees. "This man is a miracle, totally heaven sent!" thought Jasmine as she fought for control. She loved the way he kissed her and did not wish for him to ever stop. His every touch left her with chills and shock waves to her very being. Her response to him was overwhelming his desire to keep things at a slow pace. He wanted to concentrate on tantalizing her every nerve, and have her begging for him to come to her. His wish was to have her totally moaning with desire and complete abandon. Her movements were very erotic and totally distracting for him. The very way she moved with him drove him to the very edge. He kissed her again, a long, hot, wet kiss, that made them both crazy for more. He slowly brought his hands to discover her flesh beneath the silk shirt. She was totally mesmerized by the feelings and the chills he sent raging through her with his touch. His hot breath on her skin, his gentle touch, the slow dancing circles of his fingertips, totally awakened her every nerve. This was totally overwhelming. It was taking every ounce of control for John not to just stop and take her now. Trembling with his sweet touch she silently begged for more. His hands slowly made a slow circling path to her flat stomach, until they found themselves caressing her thighs and slowly easing them apart. She then forgot all inhibitions and gave in to this touch, she let herself be taken to heights that were immeasurable. She had never experienced anything like this in her life. Never had a man fulfill her every desire. She dug her nails into his back, bit her lip and trembled uncontrollably in his arms. He was overcome with her complete abandon and her reactions to his touch. He knew he finally had her heart, totally and completely. John found her so beautiful and his desire to keep things slow, now was changing. She called out his name and he lost complete control of his emotions. He covered her mouth with his and kissed her with such passion, and slowly entered her. He was intoxicated with the smell of her, her touch and her moans of pleasure, he was driven totally wild. The pressure boiling deep within them both with feelings of desire was becoming unbearable. Passion took over for them and the collapsed against each other with total satisfaction and smiles. He held her still and quiet, completely lost in her scent. Jasmine was now feeling very much unsure of herself now. She always felt so vulnerable and had a difficult time analyzing her own emotions, never mind his thoughts. "Have I brought a smile to your lips, my friend? Was this all you hoped and desired?" Jasmine asked with such uncertainty and with such pain in her eyes. John pulled himself up on one elbow and gazed longingly into her green eyes, now filling with tears once again. "Darlin, don't you know yet how you affect me? Don't you realize my feelings are so real, you are completely and totally safe with me. I always enjoy you and now I have finally, totally and completely shown you how much I do so enjoy you. You are an incredible woman, and this time, I am not letting you go." John could not believe a woman with so much passion could feel so inadequate. Darlin, sweet Jasmine, I want you….
Copyright © 1999 Tanea Jordan |