Remember Me (2)
Jasmine continued with her explanation of a dangerous game of flirt. She explained to Teri how the emails began with sexual innuendoes, somewhat like advice column blurbs. All of which of course, enticed this man to comment on. A lot of their innuendoes were tabled for later chats on line where the game continued. Jasmine tried to show Teri just how the game affected her. 'Teri, I found myself blushing with school girl excitement. The exhilarating feeling of the 'chase', the anticipation of the innuendoes, and what would come next, was totally thrilling. Teri, I really thought I could handle this; that no harm could possibly come from it all. I was not in some bar with a strange man compromising my safety. I was totally enthralled with the attentions of a mysterious man who I found completely stimulating. I felt sexy, alluring, mysterious and wanted. His attentions made me feel really beautiful and sensual. Something, that I have not felt in years." At this point, Teri jumped in with both guns. "Jasmine, whoa girl! Come on! Most of these people on there, I am sure are lonely. But I am willing to bet they are all losers!" Jasmine interrupted and shouted at Teri, "Perhaps so, but what harm could possibly be in flirting with someone who cannot see or touch you? Not to mention, a chance to feel alive, and lusted after and shown the ends of the earth with just mere words? Of course I am not stupid enough to realize that everyone on Yahoo is a God or Goddess with wonderful professional careers. God, I know! I was just lonely and found a release!" "Oh, come on, " Teri became unglued, "Jasmine, really think about this. Here's an example, what lawyer, for instance, has time to play online with bored housewives? Their hours are so long as it is, how can they possibly? These men online, are losers who want to type 'one handed' if you get my drift. There is no way imaginable that their intentions can be to keep both hands on the wheel. And I shudder to imagine about what they look like too." Jasmine shook her head but Teri continued on her rampage. "Jas, I bet they all described themselves as nice looking, blah blah... I am willing to bet that not one person online tells the truth about themselves. I bet those gorgeous men are really, fat, slovenly dressed, beer-bellied, unshaven bums nursing a couple of beer cans with cigarettes hanging from their mouths, dropping ashes all over their keyboards. Yech! What a thought." Teri rolled her eyes, and urged Jasmine on with more sordid details of this sad joke. Jasmine wanted so desperately for her friend to understand. She so wished to share the truth of the whole matter with someone. However, Jasmine knew that no one could understand or possibly begin to understand the feelings of turmoil all of this has brought to her. Jasmine just couldn�t tell Teri the rest of this tale and the outcome that was yet to come of it all. Instead she finished with trying to show Teri the emotions that were felt. "Teri, I know you probably think less of me now more than ever. But please understand the emotional tug-o-war I was and am still going through. This was the most amazing experience. The feeling of perhaps being alluring to another man, of having someone totally captivated or bewitched by my wit and sensuous writings. The teasing and taunting totally awakened my every nerve. I so desperately wanted to prove that I still "had it", that I could have a man lusting after me. Honey, I just wanted to be romanced, cherished , chased, flirted with, teased and adored. It has been so long since I felt like a woman, not to mention an alluring one." "Teri, it goes without saying. It is part of a woman's general makeup. First we need a man with a slow touch. Our innermost need is to be adoringly undressed, and a caressed from head to toe. Love for a woman is more emotional than anything. We need the man to 'mess' with our heads and minds, before he can 'mess' with the rest of us. I had to prove to myself that I could be at the heart of someone's total desire." after this being said, Jasmine blew her nose and took a deep breath. "Jasmine, darling, I understand completely where you are coming from emotionally. But to entrust your heart to a total stranger of which you know absolutely nothing about, to make him a part of your real life, well, is just a bit much to swallow, you know?" Teri shrugged her shoulders and asked, "What if this other man ends up being some psycho person who will end up haunting you later?" Teri picked up the empty coffee mugs, cleared the dishes with the remains of their untouched lunch and placed them on the counter. "I'll clean up this mess, go get yourself together and I'll take you to my club. We'll talk more later this evening. Randy won't be home for hours as he is meeting an old high school friend, who flew in today on business. Hmm, perhaps we could have the two of you meet? I hear he is an absolute dream!" Teri giggled mischievously as she slid an arm around her friend's shoulder. "Come, on, let's get a change of scenery." The club was on the top floor of the social building to an apartment complex downtown. It housed a swimming pool, complete with hot tubs, sauna's and steam rooms. Teri also operated an old-fashioned barber shop in the lower level of the building. That added touch, had been Randy's idea. If women could be pampered, why shouldn't men? This establishment was classily run for the purpose of relieving men of their stressful lives as well. Men had their hair cut, and if had time for an old fashioned shave, they got the royal treatment of a deeply relaxing facial. The men had come to refer to this treatment as the 'Miller usual'. Although they left somewhat giddy with embarrassment at such pampering, the men did enjoy the refreshing rejuvenating feeling of leaving behind all the stresses of their daily lives. Quite an end to a hectic day. Teri's floor had all the necessary equipment stationed around the outer walls of the top level. The women were able to work the machines while enjoying a picturesque view of the city. The majestic windows went all around the upper floor. One end was stictly for aerobics and step workouts. The total d�cor was a black and white, tiled theme. There were plants and palm trees in every possible place to add warmth and enhance the ambiance of the room. One corner was set up with a salad bar where women could sit and enjoy a salad or flavored water if they wished to be social. The locker room was equipped with showers and change rooms, all decorated in lavender for a peaceful setting. Large makeup stations complete with dryers and curling irons so the women could leave feeling totally revitalized. Teri sure knew how to treat the women. Ten apartments were saved in this building for the soul purpose of the weekenders who flew in for the special retreats. A large banquet room attached to a cozy sitting area for them to mingle and get to know each other. What a getaway! The staff graciously accepted Jasmine into their circle. Teri had always made references to her friend Jasmine, in humor to keep the women laughing and their minds occupied from the strenuous workouts. Teri's accountant apologized for interrupting their tour, but needed Teri to accompany her in a meeting that could not wait. Jasmine was grateful for the interruption. She had a lot to sort through and welcomed the time alone. She promised to meet Teri in an hour. The women led Jasmine to a path which led her to a cozy strip mall just down the street. Jasmine made her way through the scenic path, the beautifully planned landscape was breathtaking. The scent from the flowers that mingled in the air was totally relaxing. She came across a couple sitting on a bench, nestled in each other's arms. The couple, so happy in love, were totally oblivious to the world around them. Jasmine smiled and a pang of envy tugged at her heart. A pang for the love of one man lost in a monster's body, and one pang, deep in her heart for the love of an illusion of a man online. So deep in thought dreaming of such a love, Jasmine turned around and ran right into a man's chest. The blow and surprise of bumping into someone was totally embarrassing. Jasmine dropped her coat and purse, the pins holding her hair fell out, causing her red tresses to cascade into a disheveled mess. "Oh, I am sorry. I was distracted, I .. I.. am so sorry." she stammered. It was then that she noticed the scent. She knew who was before her without having to look at him. That unmistakable scent�it was that gorgeous man from the airport. "Oh god, another embarrassing moment - he must think I am such an idiot." she thought to herself. "Damn, it all, did he have to smell so good?" "Well, it would seem that we meet again. I am so sorry little lady, I was not looking where I was going either." John Trent gazed appreciatively at the flustered woman standing before him. He gallantly retrieved her belongings. Against his better instinct, he found himself wanting to grab her and kiss her passionately and leave her breathless. That flaming red hair smelled of perfume, he could barely resist the temptation to pull back the strands that fell across her face. Instead, he cleared his throat and found himself apologizing once again for ruining her day. "Ruining my day?" thought Jasmine, "is he kidding? Gosh, if he only knew how he made me tingle. Good God what a voice!" Jasmine wondered if he was aware of her emotional lack of control. It was all she could do to keep from stammering like a love sick child. She was not sure where this burning desire came from when she shook his hand. She was surprised at the electricity in the air that held their gaze. Left totally shaken by this surprise of emotion, Jasmine watched him walk away. Her thoughts took her back to another man who had left her trembling with desire. Another man with a voice so incredibly sexy� Jasmine found herself wondering once again about another stranger in her life. "Gosh, how long will it take me to get over this? I can't continue wondering if every man I meet is that same man." John Caeden Trent was totally baffled by his attraction to this bold woman. He just got out of one mess and found himself involved with a mysterious woman and now this lady was obscuring his vision. What a complicated life he was now leading. John, a workaholic, totally devoted to his wife of 15 years was totally unnerved by her decision to leave him for a former boyfriend. This realization that he could not keep her happy had left him feeling very inadequate. His long hours at work and his many trips out of town had not been easy to keep their relationship a number one priority. He, never in his wildest dreams, ever imagined his wife would leave him and the life they had built. Totally disillusioned he found himself feeling very empty. That is what had brought him to the life online - the infamous Yahoo chats. No one in his life would have ever dared to believe that this man would have ever wasted any of his precious time online. Not, John Caeden Trent, the Senior Partner in his firm, not Mr. Community Man who worked diligently with underprivileged children. No, not John Caeden Trent, man who had everything he desired. "I can hardly believe what mess I have gotten myself into. How would anyone else ever believe this?" This is not something that John would ever allow himself to share with anyone, ever. When he had come across that mystery woman online, he had only intended to toy with her briefly and then move on. What he had not anticipated was that he eventually found her fun, intriguing and interesting to chat with. He was alone in a hotel room with no intentions of 'looking' for any other woman to enter his life. This was just a harmless bout of curiosity. He was really feeling vulnerable. John was astonished that he shared so much of himself with some faceless stranger. Never mind the moment of insanity, when he called her. God he was so overcome with surprise and excitement at her giving him his number. He called and whispered in her ear, those three words of desire. "Good God! Who would believe this? I still cannot fathom this whole thing." For a man of his standing, of his character and position in the company, never mind the community, to take such a stupid chance and tell his whole life story to a stranger online was beyond his comprehension. It was just something that happened quite by accident . He found her fun and easy to talk to. She had a way of drawing out things from him. She definitely had a way. John found himself smiling every time he thought about this mystery woman. How desperately he had wanted to meet her after having chatted and shared so much of his soul. Both of them had agreed it was not in their best interests - both had the understanding that they were both happily married. Still, he found himself constantly thinking about the woman who could come across with such sensuality and compassion through writings on a computer was amazing. The very thought of her brought a smile to his lips. He knew she was going to Oklahoma to visit a friend. How he wondered if their paths would cross. He planned his business trip to coincide with hers in the hopes that perhaps fate would bring them together. John found himself wishing they had met under different circumstances. He found this situation frustrating and downright ludicrous. John forced the thoughts of the faceless stranger from his mind and prepared himself for his meeting with an old friend. He hadn't seen his old buddy Randy for years and was looking forward to getting together. Jasmine was totally relaxed by the time she met up with Teri. She was grateful for the extra time she had alone to gather her wits about her. Jasmine was so confused about what road she should take with her life. She knew she had to stick with her decision to leave Jack, it's just that her love had not yet turned to hate. Jasmine also was afraid of living her life alone with no one to love her. Thoughts of her special friend with a voice was also clouding her judgement. She could not get him out of her mind. She wished they had kept their agreement to meet. Perhaps that would have settled their minds and helped them to finish this game of seduction and put it all to rest. God, neither one of them could afford for this situation to get out of hand or continue. She was afraid to meet him, apprehensive of the sexual tension they could feel despite being strangers. "I really must be crazy, totally off the wall, crazy." thought Jasmine. She was so torn between her loyalties to an abusive man, to her loyalties of her own dignity. The morale issues and the havoc that this online situation had created added to her dilemma of mixed emotions. She really wanted to meet this romantic mystery man, but both were married and led complicated lives. " I can hardly handle the man and the relationship I do have. How can I possibly think i can handle having another man to complicate things." The magic of the fantasy, the illusion of the romance, was just enough to bring a smile to Jasmine's lips. She so wished her life could be different. How in the world was she going to sort through all of these emotions raging through her body? Jasmine had enough time to reflect upon the decisions in her life and seriously considered getting in touch with her mystery man and perhaps agreeing to a meeting. "Perhaps if we do meet, we can get over what ever it is that draws us and get on with our lives." The more she thought about it the more she was determined to try to reach him and do just that! "But I cannot let on to Teri of my plans. She just won't understand this gut wrenching curiosity to meet this special person." Upon making her first decision on the matter, Jasmine stood up tall, and threw caution to the wind. She made up her mind. Tonight she would go online and tell him she was ready to meet. Scared to death of the outcome, but she felt this was a necessary step. "Teri will just have to understand - if she has to ever find out." Jasmine squared her shoulders, gathered her wits about her and left to meet Teri at the little dress shop as previously planned. Tonight she would contact him and make her plans. Tomorrow and other tomorrows will be there to weigh the outcome and suffer any consequences if there are any. That evening Jasmine begged for an early night and pleaded jet lag. Teri's plans had changed due to unforeseen circumstances so their tabled discussions would have to wait for another time. Jasmine went to her room early and after careful deliberation and pacing the floors relentlessly, she sent off her email to the mystery man. She knew he had planned business here and had hopes to meet. She hoped he hadn't cancelled his plans and that they could finally meet face to face. Now that the email was sent on its way, all she could do was wait and see. Jasmine tossed and turned all night. Sleep did not come easily to her and she had a difficult time in keeping her nerves in tact. She was scared to death to meet him and yet, so excited to be near him, face to face. Jasmine had finally slept. She awakened with the sun shining through the windows of her French doors. Another beautiful Oklahoma sun shining day! Jasmine held her breath as she checked the emails from her laptop. "Oh my God! He's here! Oh my God! He is in agreement to meet." Jasmine's heart was pounding at an accelerated speed and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach with apprehension. She was so nervous and excited at the very idea. Today at l:00 they would meet for coffee downtown. This was the only time he could arrange to fit her in. He had previous plans to get together with a friend and his wife later that afternoon. "Well, at least it will be brief. Gosh, I wonder if we'll have anything to say to one another?" Jasmine's heart did flip flops for the remainder of the morning. She would have a time of keeping herself calm and cool for Teri's sake. Jasmine was not ready to divulge this information to her good friend. Not yet. She hoped that by the time she returned from seeing him, she would be able to hold herself together to endure the afternoon plans. Teri and her husband, Randy, planned a day out at Osage Hills State Park. Randy had a friend he wanted to introduce to Jasmine and thought it would be nice for her to meet a nice man for a change. "Ha, like I need any more men in my already messed up life." The morning was spent at the club with Teri and her gang. The workouts were strenuous and Jasmine welcomed the distraction from her upcoming event. Teri thought that her friend seemed very preoccupied during the workouts but chalked it up to her having mixed emotions about Jack. This was going to take some time. Jasmine had told Teri during a water break, that she had some things she wanted to do prior to going out to Osage Hills. Teri hated to speculate on what put that sparkle in her friends' eyes but did not pry. They would get together at 4:00 and leave from the club then. Teri watched her friend head for the showers. Had she mistaken that skip in her friend's step? What on earth did she have planned today? Teri's questions would have to wait. There was business at hand and Jasmine was a big girl. Whatever it was, she would find out all about it eventually. Jasmine took extra time with getting her looks to perfection for her afternoon rendezvous. She took painstaking time with her hair and makeup. For whatever it was worth, she wanted to be sure she portrayed a woman with her head on tight and of course, wanted to knock his socks off. "What a delightful place to meet for coffee." thought Jasmine. This coffee house, appropriately called, the Secret Affair, had a lovely yet cozy atmosphere. The proprietor attempted to capture a relaxing tone for his clients. The lower level, a coffee bar complete with all liqueurs and small assortment of pies and biscuits. Tables were placed around the floor with two chairs to each. The waitress led Jasmine to a loft where couches were meticulously spaced for close, quiet conversations. A large stone fireplace took up one entire wall. Soft lighting made this loft very cozy and very relaxed. Jasmine sat down facing the fireplace and nervously played with her napkin. Within minutes she had twisted it and totally pulled it apart. Her palms were wet with perspiration. Gosh, she was a nervous wreck and second guessing her judgement. She was, however, grateful for the foresight to come a half hour early so as to regain her composure. Considering she had shared so many intimate details about herself with this man, she was terrified at what this meeting would bring to their lives. Jasmine was suddenly overcome with apprehension that she had felt so many times over. She thought she would convulse if she let herself be taken over by the panic which was slowly rising in her body. Jasmine tried desperately to fight for control of her emotions. She let herself drift back in time to when she first met this surreal stranger and how he rocked her world with mere words on a page and then the voice that made it all real to life. Those words accompanied by a powerful tool, a voice, awakened her every nerve. Jasmine smiled at the memories of the daily teasing and that weekend that made the earth move. What a roller coaster ride of emotional upheaval. She had been trying to get her head together over her abusive lifestyle and got mixed up with a dangerous game of seduction online. What she had not anticipated was finding someone she really enjoyed conversing with and eventually trusted and bonded with. If she could have dared to share the details of this complicated situation - who would have believed it? Everyone would surely think she had gone mad. A silly game of playful teasing had escalated to an exciting challenge of minds and emotions. Jasmine had no real intent to continue her correspondence with the stranger, but found herself totally wrapped up in the fun and chase of it all. They had shared a lot of laughs and one day, he requested that she email him every now and again. "Oh yeah!" she had thought then, "and what do I write to this stranger? What on earth about? Mundane routines of a lonely woman's life? Kids? Problems ? Yeah, like every man needs to hear that mundane garbage, god knows, they hear enough of it when they phone home to their wives. Like he needs to hear more of that. " Jasmine decided that she would start a seduction game with him, no mundane banter. She began her emails with special thoughts for the day, things for which he could ponder. Oh, what fun she had! She knew full well, she would get reactions going with her emails. Each carefully planned with a sexual intonation, all dealing with a couple in a sexual relationship. Mostly, written to get a rise but also to entice some curiosity and intrigue to the relationship. She found herself looking forward to his email responses back, each equally matching her thoughts to ponder and consider. What an ironic situation this created. She, locked in her prison of a home, he locked in a lonely hotel room, far, far away from home. She thoroughly enjoyed the innuendoes and the teasing. "How I wish I could have had that type of a relationship with Jack." thought Jasmine with a sigh. These writings back and forth with the faceless stranger provided her with a release from her cruel life. Gave her a chance to disappear from real life danger and live through a fantasy. "What harm could possibly come from this?" she remembered thinking. "Oh, if only I could have foreseen the emotional turmoil that I face today." She chuckled nervously. The attraction and the intrigue almost surpassed any feelings of right and wrong. Jasmine knew this could only lead to trouble, but she found herself totally captivated by the 'fun and magic' of flirting. She would get an excited feeling in the pit of her stomach, and a breathtaking beat of her heart, whenever she would see his handle light up on the screen as being 'online' or when she found he had sent her yet, another email. Her heart would pound with a ferocious passion and a smile would light up her face along with a twinkle of mischief and danger in her green eyes. His words carefully written to totally arouse her lust for romance and desire. She found herself allowing her guard to dissipate, and began to trust the faceless stranger with her heartfelt emotions and views on life and relationships. Jasmine threw all caution to the wind and totally gave of herself mentally and emotionally to this faceless stranger. That one weekend they had shared a lifetime of thoughts. She found herself toying with the stimulating and intoxicating idea of hearing his voice, just once. He too, wanted more of a connection. He wanted to make her more real to life, not just written words on a page. Ignoring her conscious of all morals and safety, she gave him her number. To her surprise and total fascination, he did call her. His call left her breathless and held such an impact with an air of total craving for more. However, brief, this call had impact, the power to move mountains and the earth beneath her feet.. Three short words, barely a whisper, and they still haunt her today, and tug at her heart. Jasmine was surprised beyond belief at the three simple words, the manner in which they were spoken, and the impact of them.
Copyright © 1999 Tanea Jordan |