Victorian Winters (4)
Suddenly there was a movement among the trees and Teresa remained still. Then she saw some figures walking towards her. They were two girls, two gypsy girls. Teresa turned in the other direction. Then she heard a girl's voice: 'Madam..'. Teresa turned quickly. There were two girls in front of her. As she looked at them, she felt impatient. She wanted to get back to the house and have some breakfast. 'What is it?', Teresa asked. She felt the older girl, a girl of nineteen or perhaps twenty studying her and as she turned to look at her this girl said: 'Madam. You have food..?’ There was silence. She looked at the younger girl, a girl of perhaps fourteen. Then she heard the older girl say: 'We just want food..' Then suddenly she felt weak and she leant against a tree. She closed her eyes and murmured, addressing the girls 'Wait, don't come near me..I'm just tired..I'll give you something..' Then she opened her eyes and the girls were looking steadily at her, studying her. She walked away from the tree and looked over in the direction of the fire. 'Is that your fire?', she asked. 'Yes, Madam', the older girl said. 'You don't have food..' Teresa said almost to herself. 'Yes Madam, please give us food..' the older girl replied. 'Yes', Teresa said dreamily. Then she turned back and the older girl who said almost immediately: 'We just want to talk..Do you live near here?' 'Of course', Teresa said quickly but then the thought flashed before her that she shouldn't tell them where she lived. She said then: 'Alright, I'll give you food..but I don't have it now..' 'That's alright....' The two girls stood waiting for Teresa to speak and Teresa said: 'I'll leave it on this stump here..later...' 'This morning?', the younger girl said. 'Yes..bread and cheese..is that alright...' 'Yes', the older girl said. 'We are hungry', the younger girl said suddenly and Teresa said quickly: 'Alright, I'll get the food now..I am sorry…I am sorry….alright…I’ll get food and I’ll come back…’ ‘You live locally then…’, the older girl said. ‘Yes.’ They were quiet as Teresa looked quickly at the two girls. She said: ‘Why do you ask me so many questions…I said I’d get you food…’ The older girl replied: ‘We don’t mean to annoy you Madam.. continue your walk..you can give us food when you’re ready../we don’t expect you to have it with you…just leave it here on tha stump and we’ll collect it. We’re hungry that’s all…’ Teresa looked over at the stump. ‘Yes…of course..I’ll leave it on the rock….’. She tried to smile and walked away. Then she looked back and met the eyes of the older girl who smiled at her. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Teresa returned to the woods later that morning, she saw the older girl sitting beside the stump. The girl rose as she saw Teresa approaching with the package off food. The girl smiled and Teresa smiled unconsciously. As Teresa came nearer, the girl said quickly: ‘You are pretty when you smile…Madam…’ Teresa was quiet as she looked at the girl. Suddenly she felt this was like a dream. It was like a dream to be in these woods with this gypsy girl away from the old life in the theatre, the city. What had happened to her? ‘What’s wrong..Madam..?’ the girl said and Teresa realised that she had been silent. ‘Nothing…’, Teresa replied and she felt instantly there was a strange kind of attraction between her and this girl. She handed the package to the girl and the girl said: ‘My name’s Maria Antonina..what’s your name..madam..?’ ‘Teresa..’ ‘You are married?’ ‘Why are you asking me? I gave you food.’ 'Yes, Madam, thank-you.' The girl sat still on the stump with the package in her hand. 'You eat...' Teresa murmured. 'Sorry Madam...' 'I'll bring it back to the others...' the girl said. Then the girl said suddenly: 'I need a wash, Madam. I really need to wash...' Teresa looked at her questioningly. 'I don't understand..I can't allow..' 'Is it your husband?' Teresa was quiet as she looked away. She was trying to think. Surely there was nothing wrong with the girl bathing in her house. This sudden meeting with the girl called Maria Antonina surprised her and had taken her off guard. 'No, wait..', Teresa said as the girl rose. The girl said almost childishly: 'But I need to wash..You understand..You're a woman...I don't like being dirty...' 'No..you ask too much…Maria…please take your food…I’m tired..I gave you food..so leave me alone…’ The girl remained there. Teresa looked at her. In her gypsy dress, she looked pretty. She had a fresh innocent face but you knew she hadn't washed for a while. There was her slender figure. Yes she needed food, Teresa saw this and she needed a wash. A pretty girl like her would like to bathe herself, wash herself and be like a proper woman. Teresa was about to speak when the girl said: ‘Am I annoying you..you look angry..you’re angry..why are you angry, Madam..?' Teresa said quickly: 'No, you can wash in my house..' 'Your husband..what about your husband..', the other replied. 'He's not in the house to-night..I live there in the first house ..I told you you can wash...' 'Thank-you, Teresa. Can I can you Teresa...you are beautiful..' This made Teresa smile. She had never been called beautiful except by her husband. Then Teresa realised she had been standing here for a while with this gypsy girl. She turned to go and the girl said: 'Wait, thank-you for the food...why are you in a hurry... Teresa..' Teresa turned: 'Maria, is that your name?' 'Maria Antonina', the other said quickly. 'Come to the house to-night..' 'Yes….Teresa…’ Teresa was surprised by the girl's innocence and quick manner. She leant back against the tree and looked over at Maria Antonina. 'Sorry Teresa...' the girl said. Then Teresa turned and tried to smile at the other. 'I have to go now..' 'Thank-you..' Maria Antonina replied. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maria Antonina stood at the backdoor, the shimmering light of the moon behind her. Teresa looked up at the moon and then beckoned the girl inside. There was something strange about this. There was something captivating, sophisticated, erotic about a girl, a young woman bathing in her house. Teresa was allowing the young woman to bathe in her house. No, she was allowing the woman to wash herself. For as Maria Antonina entered, she said: ‘Thank-you Madam for allowing me to wash. I want to feel clean, you know..’ ‘Yes’, Teresa said. Then as the young woman stood in the kitchen, Teresa said: ‘There is a bath upstairs, it’s old and I’ll bring you water…’ The girl walked upstairs almost without being told and looked down at Teresa. She was obviously shy and Teresa was suddenly surprised by the girl’s candour, her sophistication, her confidence. She tried to say: ‘Wait…’ ‘Your husband doesn’t know…I feel so dirty..’ Teresa looked into the kitchen. She must heat the water. She looked up at the girl. Yes the young woman obviously wanted to wash herself. Then Teresa went upstairs and into the spare bedroom. On one side was the bath. ‘Can I undress…?’, Teresa heard the young woman say. Teresa didn’t answer. Again she felt her head spinning. What was happening? She didn’t understand. She didn’t want to understand. Was there a kind of seduction taking place. She never knew or she had only heard vaguely about the seduction of one woman by another woman. Then she felt the young woman turning to her: ‘Can I call you Teresa…you are kind, Teresa…’ ‘Wait here, I’ll get the water…’ As she walked away, she thought: Oh my God, why don’t I fill the bath completely…She returned to the room and said: ‘Maria Antonina, would you mind…I’ll fill the bath first..will you wait..’ ‘Of course, Madam…’ Then the young woman sat on the bed. She seemed to study Teresa as Teresa glanced at her and walked downstairs. She carried up the buckets of water while the girl sat on the bed. Then Maria Antonina suddenly rose after Teresa carried up three buckets: ‘Let me help you Madam..’ and Maria Antonina went downstairs and helped Teresa to carry up some buckets. ‘That’s enough Madam…I’m grateful..you know that…’ ‘You’re kind..you’re sweet…’ Teresa stood then in the doorway as the woman began to undress. The young woman turned and Teresa said: ‘I’ll be downstairs…’ She thought she heard the woman say: ‘Wash me..will you wash me…’ Teresa just felt her head spinning and she turned and walked downstairs. As she did, a thought came to her. It was that necklace that Denby gave to her. She had put it in the sideboard in that spare bedroom that the girl was washing in. As she sat in an armchair downstairs, she thought quickly: I can’t let that necklace go..she can’t steal it….I don’t know this girl..I allow her into my house…I don’t know her…She could steal…but she’s gentle…but… Then Teresa thought suddenly of the girl’s eyes. There was something in her eyes, a hard glint. Her skin was clear and fresh from being in the sunlight and then the moonlight but her eyes…they were hard…or there was a shine in them..she was certainly a tough woman…a young woman reared in hardship… Then Teresa rose quickly and without thinking walked upstairs. She heard the sound of the girl washing herself and she walked to the room and pushed the door open. She stood still. The girl turned to her but she didn’t cover her breasts. Teresa said: ‘You want something to dry yourself…’ Maria Antonina didn’t seem to hear. Then Teresa heard the other say: ‘You have spare clothes…?’ Teresa looked at her. ‘Madam, you hear me…’, she heard Maria Antonina say. The smell of the young woman’s body was in the room. The girl’s clothes were on the floor and the girl too was obviously shy and embarrassed. Yes she wanted to wash herself and Teresa knew this but Teresa felt attracted by something. Was she attracted by the young woman? She didn’t know. There was certainly something new about all this. Then she heard the girl say: ‘You don’t mind me being here..?’ ‘No, Maria..no, no..’ ‘Alright…and you are lonely, Madam, aren’t you…?’ Teresa smiled but she felt strange, she felt weak, feeble like a child and this young woman was the real adult. The young woman was in control. That was how it felt anyway. ‘Lonely, why do you ask?’, Teresa said after a pause. She had got used to the girl’s nakedness. The girl herself didn’t seem to mind. Then Teresa said suddenly: ‘Will I leave, do you mind me being here.. I mean…I didn’t ask you…’ The girl continued to wash herself with a cloth. She didn’t seem to hear Teresa and obviously didn’t mind Teresa in the room. Yes this girl wasn’t afraid to be naked. Teresa said then: ‘I’m sorry, Maria..you asked me if I have clothes..no I don’t…I would..of course..give them to you..’ The young woman turned and looked at her. There was that hard look. ‘A blouse..a shirt anything…’ Teresa looked at her quickly and said: ‘A shirt…I can give you a shirt…yes..’ Then she left the room and came back with an old shirt that she had put in a box in her room. ‘Thank-you, Madam..’ she heard the girl say as she put it on the floor. ‘Oh…I think I’ll rest..’ Teresa said suddenly. She felt weak. She said: ‘Do you mind…I just want to rest..lie on the bed..’ ‘Yes, Teresa…’ She lay on the bed and she wasn’t aware that she had fallen asleep until she woke suddenly. Maria Antonina was lying beside her and Teresa raised herself quickly. She saw that the girl was naked. The girl raised herself too on her side and began to stroke Teresa’ throat. ‘Do you mind..Teresa..I just want to lie here with you…’ ‘What are you doing?’, Teresa said quickly but still she remained beside the young woman as the girl stroked Teresa's breasts. ‘You don’t mind…I don’t want to go back to the woods..I have washed…can I stay here..just for a night..your husband is not here, is he?’ ‘Maybe..I suppose’, Teresa heard herself say but she felt powerless to do anything. ‘You like me to touch you, Teresa..will you touch me..?’ Then the girl brought Teresa’s hand onto her abdomen but Teresa didn’t do anything. The girl raised herself then and began to rub Teresa’s abdomen and then her breasts. There was something clumsy about the girl’s movements, about this seduction but Teresa didn’t mind. In her mind, Teresa was captivated by the girl’s confidence as well as by the new experience. Then she heard the girl say: ‘You are tired.. Teresa.. can I undress you..so we can lie together..’ Teresa rose without thinking. She stood up beside the bed looking down. Maria Antonina didn’t move. Then the young woman stirred and walked round to Teresa and began slowly to undress her. Moonlight was streaming into the room as Teresa looked at the girl’s face as she concentrated on undressing Teresa. As they lay in the bed together, moonlight lit the ceiling above and a cold air seemed to fill the room. Teresa didn’t know whether it was the blood racing in her. All she could see was the moonlight. Was she imagining everything? There was that colour on the ceiling, those colours filling the room, that light filling the room, that was moonlight and there was Maria Antonina beside her, softly caressing Teresa’s own naked body. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teresa woke suddenly and immediately knew that the young woman had gone. Surely it must be still early but she felt the girl had left. She rose quickly and dressed and walked quickly into the next room. Then she walked downstairs. There was no-one. Suddenly the image of the necklace came to her. She can’t have stolen it surely. She walked quickly upstairs and looked in the sideboard where she put it. The necklace was still there! She kept the necklace like a treasure. Still she felt it was the only real possession she had. Denby had given it to her when he was in love with her. She felt he gave to her as a real gift. It was something meant for her, her alone, and if anything happened, if they should divorce or whatever, she felt she still had that necklace. And she could pawn it for money, sell it, whatever. That was the important thing! Anyway the necklace was still in the drawer but surely the girl had stolen something. Why had she left so early? Teresa walked back into her bedroom and looked around. Was there anything missing? She wasn’t sure. No she couldn’t be sure if anything was missing. Then as she looked, the memory of the previous night came to her, the girl caressing her. Why did she not think this was wrong? Was this not deceiving Denby. Why did this not bother her? Why? Then suddenly a thought came to her. Oh my God, this girl could blackmail her, could she not? Teresa walked quickly in the direction of the woods. What was she doing? What was she going to say to this young woman but this young woman had a name: Maria Antonina. Why had she left so early? Didn’t the night mean anything to this woman ? Oh why was she asking herself this ? Everything was absurd but she needed to speak to Maria Antonina again, ask her things, talk to her… She walked into the woods but she couldn’t see the fire that she had seen the day before. Then she heard some rustling in the trees and she saw the figure of Maria Antonina walking towards her. Teresa walked quickly in her direction and shouted suddenly: ‘Don’t play with me, girl. What do you want..you came to my house..did you take something..?’
Copyright © 2008 Joel Ficelle |