Dake (2)
“I want you to do the very best in your exam, I want you to get the greatest result in your life. I want you to be happy” She looks at him for a while then say “Don’t worry; I’ll do my very best” He smiles, “I believe you” They both laugh. * * * It’s been two months after Natalie’s big examination finished. She and Jerry had decided where they will go next week; they’re going to have a perfect holiday. Jerry talks to Winson at his house that day. Winson surprisely asks “What? You were lovers now?” “Yeah, why? It’s not a big surprise, right? But she’s Malay and you’re Chinese” “I realize that” “Can’t you see the difference?” “No. I believe we have feelings as a human being” “You can’t be with her” “Can you open your eyes? ..... You loved Leigh too, right?” “ … Don’t talk about it. I don’t wanna talk about it” “Why running from the truth? Why hiding? Why didn’t you confess it? … Because she’s Malay? … Oh! Please, love is not something you can play, no matter how hard you try, you can’t fight it!” * * * “Here, take this”, Natalie gives Jerry a cassette. “What’s in this?” he asks “Just a recording” “What song” “DAKE” Jerry smiles and says, “thank you” He continues “Where ever I go, this song will always play in my heart, where ever you go, this song will always live in my soul, just like my love for you. Only.” “We’re always one. Where ever you go, I’ll find you and where ever I go, you must reach me” “I promise you, I will” Will their promises be hold? Will it be one and only? * * * “What? You going to be kidding me” Natalie says to her mom. “It’s not a lie. We’re going to Japan the day after tomorrow” her mom replies. “I didn’t believe it” Natalie looks down “You must have been very happy. Thanks to your dad new job, your dream of living in Japan will come true” her mom smiles. “No!! I’m not going!” says Natalie then runs to her room. Her mom watch her speechless. She’s falling apart. She really wants to be in Japan but the day after tomorrow too, she will go for the vacation with Jerry. She picks up the phone and call Jerry. “Hello” says Jerry “Hey! It’s me” “Hi! … I can’t wait for the day after tomorrow” “Jerry … I …” “What?” “Huh! Nothing, I can’t wait too” “Why don’t you go to bed earlier? Then the day will be faster” In Natalie’s heart, I don’t want it to be fast But she says, “Yes… but Jerry” “Um?” “What if I can’t come?” “You will come or I’ll be off alone. Won’t it be sad?” “… Um …” “Have a nice dream tonight” “Bye!” The word ‘bye’ slips through her ears. Is it really meaning goodbye? Forever? She can’t seem to know the answer. * * * At the airport…… They will go to Japan just an hour from now. She’s holding her bag. Will Jerry be at the port now? The ferry will be off 45 minutes from now. The flight is one hour from now. Will I still have time if I run toward him? Hey! What am I thinking? Then, in her head, she remember the song ‘Dake’ At the library, he called, “hey!” “Come here” he said. “A moment, please” he insisted. Outside the public library, He said, “What’s wrong?” He asked once again, “are you sure you’re okay? You look gloom today” Then, she remember Sheng’s words “Hey! Why didn’t you eat it? Look, you broke his heart” Outside the tuition centre, “I love you” “How could you say ‘I’m sorry’?” Natalie holds her bag tighter. It’s just about 15 minutes before the ferry sail away. It takes 7 minutes to go there by taxi. She looks at her mom and dad. Her feet move one step backward, then, two steps, three steps. She turns around and runaway from the airport she takes a taxi. After minutes ride, she stuck on the traffic jam. She had waited in the taxi for 2 minutes, so, she pay the taxi’s driver and run to the harbor. It’s only left 8 minutes and she’s still running. She wanted to get there. She’s in front of the harbor when it’s only two minutes before the ferry sail away. Now, all passengers must have been moving into the ferry. She runs and sees Jerry from behind. Jerry turns around when he hears running footsteps. He smiles when he sees Natalie. Natalie runs towards him and hugs him. “What took you so long?” “I’ll tell you everything!” * * * At a beach, they watch the stars that night, “So, you will go with your mom later to Japan” Jerry asks “Yes. My dad goes first.” “Who will take your examination’s result?” “My auntie” “You know what? I don’t get it. Why would you still be going?” “I’m sorry, I have to” “Then, what will happen to … us?” “We would never change Jerry; we will always be this way” “Is that a promise?” I promise you with everything I am…I love you” “We will keep in touch, right?” “Of course” * * * 2005 And so she moved to Japan. He lived in Malaysia. Two years pass now; she had lived her life so wonderfully. She knew, she knew that she had broken her promise. She didn’t keep in touch with Jerry the way that she supposed to. She feels so miserable after two years passed. She had tried to call him a few months ago but the line was dead and she wrote him a letter but he didn’t reply. He’s angry? May be he is and if he did, she has to admit, it was her fault. She calls her friend sometimes but when ever she talks about Jerry, they will change the topic. She just doesn’t understand. Now, she wants to do what she had wished to do since ago. She wants to return to Malaysia for two weeks. She wants to know the truth. On a phone conversation, “Really?” asks Lini. “Yes!” “Cool, then, we’ll make a re-union party” “Sure” “It’s going to be great!” * * * Malaysia … After arriving at the airport, she goes to her hotel room. That night, she looks outside the window… Did he still love me? Did he still think of me? Will he ever forgive me? He should know that I have never meant to do anything that hurts him. Jerry… I love you… I’m so sorry “How could you say ‘I’m sorry’?” She remembers the thought of him again then she breaks down and cries. She just wishes that he didn’t have new girlfriend or married to someone else. * * * The re-union party… When she opens the room, everyone is there. Twelve familiar face. She’s quite shock to see those faces. Sofia is standing next to Alec and Mieza is standing besides Steve. Leigh is sitting besides Winson. Lini is holding Sheng’s hand. To her surprise, Sheila is with Warrick (who has putted out some weight now) and Suzanne with Jie who looks much cute now. She begins to say something without knowing what to say, “Um… wow!” All of them laugh. “Warrick, did you attend diet programmed?” Warrick laugh at the question. “No… I’ve been doing lots of exercise” he answers. Natalie turns to look at Alec, she smiles at him. She looks at Jie. “Jie, why did you choose Suzanne? Because she beautiful or because she’s charming?” “… Um …” “Don’t tell it’s because she’s an Indian not Malay” Winson look at Natalie shocked; Jie and Sheng look at her too. They couldn’t believe she would say that. They knew that they ever make a mistake by breaking up Jerry’s relationship with a Malay girl before he knows Natalie. But, it was a done-thing, she should get over it. The room fell into silence. Natalie turns to look at Winson. “Don’t look at me that way, Winson; I’m glad someone has opened your eyes.” “I know I was wrong but it was ago. We should get over it.” Natalie sighs. “Sorry. I acted so weird today maybe because jerry’s not here” Everyone’s face changed. Winson says “Why don’t we eat some cake?” “No guys! You can’t do this to me. Where is Jerry? Where is him?” Sofia looks down, “I got something to tell you about him” Natalie thinks, he must’ve married to someone else. It must’ve been bad news. Sofia says, “tell her, Leigh” Leigh looks at Natalie. Steve tries to calm Mieza who’s about to cry. Alec shakes his head. Leigh begins, “Natalie… actually… I can’t say it. I just can’t” Leigh puts her head on Winson’s shoulder. Winson looks at Natalie sadly. Jerry must’ve hated me now. He didn’t love me anymore. “Let I tell her” Winson says then continue, “Natalie, the truth is, Jerry, he has ……….” It really is a bad news. She couldn’t believe that it was true. She wanted to cry but she smiles. “Really?” she asks. “That’s… shocking”. She didn’t cry hearing the news; she knew that this kind of thing will still happen one day. She just refuses to cry. “Let’s eat” she says. She takes a nut and eats it. Slowly, she feels the tears streaming down her cheek. She cries, she really really is crying now. “Oh Natalie” says Lini then holds her tight. * * * She stands beside the window of her hotel room that night, she take out a piece of paper and write; Dear Jerry, Hi! What are you doing now? I’m in my hotel room now. I don’t know what to do so I write to you. All I wanna do is remember our memorable memory. Do you still remember when we’re still in high school; we exchanged our pencil for a day? Do you remember? How about the time when we’re at high school too, I was angry when you call me with my ex0boyfriend name? After that when I was standing at the stair, you come to me to said sorry. I will never forget it. How could you leave me? How could you leave me when we had such a wonderful history? Beautiful memory? I wish you you will have a good night-sleep tonight. Bye. Natalie She puts the letter into an envelope and posts it the next day. It had been ten days Natalie in Malaysia and she had sent seven letters to Jerry not include the one she’s holding now. She puts the envelope into the red box. She smiles, no replies. She walks around the town that day. She walks to the place where she saw Jerry a few days ago. She didn’t see him today. She stops and watches the busy road. Cars pass by, people passes by. Jerry passes me by. She smiles helplessly. After the re-union party, Winson gives her the cassette that she records the song ‘Dake’, which was once, belong to Jerry and she’s holding it now. She puts the cassette back into her bag. She looks to the other side of the street, she sees him, and she knows it is Jerry. So, she runs to cross the street but she couldn’t reach him when something crushes her. She can hear her body hits the ground. She can’t see anything now, it is so unclear and she feels dizzy. She closes her eyes, seals her lips and shut her ears. She lay on the ground. * * * She can feel someone’s touching her hand. She knows that she is in the hospital. Jerry … he’s holding her hand. She wanted to speak but no words spoken. She looks deeply at him, wishing for forgiveness and hoping for one more chance. Jerry smiles at her and then kisses her cheek. He puts his hand on her eyes and close them. She falls asleep again. When she opens her eyes again, all of her friends are there. Leigh starts, “Leigh, you finally awaken, you had been sleeping for a day” Natalie smiles. “How come that lorry crushes you?” asks Sheila. Natalie begins to speak “I wanted … to… cross the street … in a hurry” “Why would you be in such hurry?” “I saw Jerry… I wanna reach him” Natalie says. “What?” Mieza asks shocked. “It was true. He was here too. The first time I woke up. He’s holding my hand” Natalie explains. All of her friend look down, feeling sympathy. Sofia who’s looking out the window says “I’m sorry to you; I used to think that you had everything and I had nothing. I never meant to feel that way, but now you lost everything and I had them” “I still had them Sofia, he always live deep in me” Natalie says. * * * Natalie is sitting on a bench at a cemetery. She looks to the sky above and she knows that she’ll never regret anything. Anything at all. She turns to her right and she sees Jerry beside the tree. Jerry is smiling at her. She smiles back. He shows her the letter that she sends him. She smiles again. She believe that he will reply her if he could. She gets up from the bench and walks towards a grave. She stares hard at it for a while and takes out a piece of paper to write a letter to Jerry. Dear Jerry lei Ming Hsu, I’m here just to remind you of our memories again, not to asks you to return to me. I know it’s impossible. I still don’t know since when you fall in love to me. I wish to know it from you. Is it since before I went back to class to get my book or at other time or you, yourself don’t know? Do you still remember, at high school, when we sit on a bench and you taught me math? Lini says we looks like lovers. That time, too, we both say the same word to Warrick when he teases us. It’s really cool! Do you remember when you sign on my balloon and it finally left pieces. Do you know that I still kept the pieces? Do you know that I still keep the pictures that you draw for me? Hey! We always talk behind the racks at the library, isn’t it? It’s such a great and lovely time with you. Thanks for giving me those memories. Natalie She folds the letter and she will send it. She walks away from that grave. She really hopes that someday she will get her reply. She’s crying when she walks away now from the grave of the late Jerry Lei Ming Hsu. Winson’s words once again plays on her mind. “Natalie, the truth is, Jerry, he has passed away. He died in a plane crash when he was heading to Japan to search for you”. Natalie will never forget the news. She knew, there’s no use in hoping but she want to make up for her mistake. She wants to kept her broken promises. “is that a promise?” “I promise you with everything I am, I love you” “We will keep in touch, right?” Tears still fall from her eyes. She had been so guilty. She knew, she knew he’s dead, but she will never stop sending letter, until she got her reply. Tada sono itsu demo dake de. *THE END* ~ Actually, this story was made up through my real life experience, my future dreams and my wild imagination ~ -NJ-
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