Judas Is A Good Kisser (5) (to the phone) No, Maurice. 70 SHE starts to cry. JOEL She's not as tough as she looks. PACO Neither are we. JOEL Yes, we are. MURRAY pulls out HIS wad and hands THE GIRL some money. HE starts counting it. WILLIS Oh, that is beautiful, let me take a picture of that. MURRAY For what?, the Internal Revenue?, fuck you. PACO Murray, you're the most evil man in the world and when I row up, I want to be just like you. MURRAY feels that some response is called for. MURRAY Turn out the lights! WILLIS frowns slightly, that's the only movement. Turn out the lights! I want to do the job! JOEL puts HIS hand on the light switch. No signals from anyone. The phone rings. WILLIS answers it. JOEL Right on cue. 71 PACO Isn't that a rather desperate attempt at detachment? WILLIS Eldon's coming to get paid. He's downstairs. EXT> STREET JESSE, TIRSO AND LOPE. A COP COPTER zooms down between the buildings. A DOOR GUNNER is looking for a target. HE sees THEM and swivels the gun toward THEM. THEY get into the entrance of an office building just in time. LOPE Who the fuck was that? JESSE That was a cop copter. LOPE That doesn't mean... JESSE Yes, it does. TIRSO We're sitting ducks out here, we got to go in and get him. JESSE Yeah. INT> JOEL"S OFFICE It needs something to show JOEL's hysterical claustrophobia: roller skating around the room or peddling frantically away on an exercise machine. 72 The copter hovers outside the window, but the updrafts keep it swaying and THE DOOR GUNNER cant get a beat on PACO. The shot goes wild. Then a storm of pigeons take off from tenement roofs frightened by the sound. The copter tries to fly above them, but the updrafts flip it over behind a line of tenements 2 blocks away. Sound of a crash. WILLIS That's the problem with today's army, they think the answer to every problem is the word "helicopter". PACO It's so true. MURRAY Well, that's it. You were at that bookie joint for a couple of days weren't you? GIRL Yeah, well. MURRAY Yeah, well, they get a little bust this weekend to show what happens when you dont play the game. I got to hand it to you, you were ahead of us all the way. WILLIS Then the 2nd time you circled back, you were behind us. GIRL That's alright, wait until I start chewing. 73 JOEL Dont say that even as a joke. MURRAY I'll pay you $50 to do the job right here. JOEL I want out. I dont want any part of this. MURRAY You have something on us we dont have on you, that doesn't happen. WILLIS We explained that to you, pretty soon now, we give up on words. MURRAY You can quit tomorrow, I'll buy out your share. JOEL With what? For what?, the book value of this is nothing. MURRAY Just leave the keys in the desk. Tomorrow. JOEL We been in this city too long. We avoid danger too easily, with out even thinking about it so, you stop believing it's there. Then something like this goes down and you discover that your only defense was that you didn't have any thing that anyone wanted to bother taking away from you. 74 PACO You're about one inch tall, Old Buddy, you're turning into a bug. JOEL There's nothing here worth dying for because none of it's mine. PACO Are you through? MURRAY Oh, yeah, he's through. NOISES in the hall. the usual ritual with the guns. ELDON knocks and walks in. HE and THE GIRL exchange a sad smile. MURRAY That's it then. MURRAY handcuffs THE GIRL's hand behind HER back then opens the door. ELDON shows up to get paid. MURRAY hands HIM a huge wad of $100 bills. MURRAY Like you said. And, here like I said. GIRL They're going to rape me. MURRAY (to THE GIRL) Your problem is, you got no sense of history. (to ELDON) I got another client for you. ELDON Forget it, I've had it. 75 MURRAY What's wrong? ELDON Nothing, it's just getting to my head. As the argument starts, PACO moves behind THE GIRL to undo HER handcuffs. PACO (whispering) Keep your hands behind your back. MURRAY Let's talk outside. ELDON AND MURRAY move outside the door. POV follows THEM MURRAY Now tell me what's wrong. ELDON Nothing, like I said. MURRAY Look, if it's... ELDON The money is fine. MURRAY Alright. Good. How'd you find her? ELDON In a bar. In her neighborhood. She went back to get the money to get out of town. MURRAY Stupid. Why do they all do that? 76 ELDON Oh, yeah. She was standing right next to me. She turned to go and I saw her tattoo. MURRAY Her tattoo? She tries to cowboy a liquor store single handed, she kills 2 men who aren't even ugly and she has a tattoo. You do not owe respect to a girl with a tattoo. She's stupid too. ELDON I know. PACO has discreetly cut the phone lines. MURRAY So, what're you gonna do? Divorce cases? What else can you do? ELDON I know. WILLIS is taking down HIS pants. PACO is holding THE GIRL's arms behind HER back. MURRAY That's all a private dick can do, divorce work and popping bail jumpers. MURRAY What? Repos? That's better? Sorry to repossess your pace maker, lady, but you're three payments behind. ELDON I know. MURRAY I got another jumper for you. 77 ELDON No. A SICKENING SCREAM comes through the wall, a high thin girlish scream that ends in a low liquid mumble. Then MALE VOICES MUTTERING IN DISGUST. MURRAY puts HIS arm around ELDON and starts walking HIM down the hall. MURRAY Hell, what I gotta do this for? I got a beautiful wife waiting for me at home. ELDON You implying I dont? MURRAY Your wife is beautiful. Your wife is more beautiful than my wife. ELDON But you say she's not home? MURRAY Aw, that's what always breaks 2 guys up, some girl who doesn't mean anything. GIRL (screaming through the wall) Who says I dont mean anything? ELDON He means my wife. ELDON takes off down the hall. MURRAY Oh, no! You stay, you have some thing on me I dont have on you, that doesn't happen. You have her too. 78 ELDON I already did. MURRAY Well, alright. Remember Sam Spade. Be ironic. Stay drunk. Have a beautiful secretary with those 1940 nylons with the seam up the back. And dangly earrings. And a tight cheap print dress so she looks available to garbage like you. ELDON I dont want to kill you. MURRAY You dont ?!, why not? Eldon is gone. MURRAY walks back into the office. WILLIS is pulling HIS pants up, THE GIRL is sobbing softly, PACO is looking bored and queasy. MURRAY That's alright, guys, start without me. But nobody moves. Want to do the rest of it here, save the cost of a motel? GIRL Can I have something to drink? WILLIS Yeah, we spent enough money finding her. GIRL Hell, I need it too. WILLIS Where? 79 MURRAY Take a chair into the closet. JOEL I'd rather use the bathroom. They got paper towels and everything. MURRAY Yeah, go ahead, Dolly. JOEL Forget it? MURRAY What?! JOEL Yuchh! MURRAY is marching up and down, fists in HIS pockets, obviously trying to squeeze up an erection and failing. JOEL is throwing up in the waste basket. PAN BACK TO: TV ON THE WALL: It's showing one of the bondage sites on the NET, like the one I sent you: EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON TRUST PAN BACK TO: MURRAY Aw, what I gotta do this for, I got a beautiful wife waiting for me at home. I must be crazy to run around like this. You go ahead, Councilor, I dont want any. PACO I pass. I've got one kidney. 80 MURRAY You dont fuck with your kidneys. PACO You missed out on a damn good thing. Anyway, I've got AIDS. MURRAY That was the only thing missing. WILLIS You're missing nothing. HE offers PACO a cigarette. MURRAY This is no way to live, I haven't seen a movie in 6 months. Willis, you take her out for a turn. WILLIS No, I'm together. MURRAY Well, that's it then. GIRL Wait a minute, you're not done already. This thing hasn't started. MURRAY It's over, everyone get dressed. Everyone is dressed. GIRL Look, I caused you a lot of trouble, I'd like to pay you back. JOEL I believe that. 81 GIRL What difference is it you take me back tomorrow instead of today. The trial isn't for a month. MURRAY Yeah, that was real stupid, Baby. This was just for the hearing. You could have been running around free for another month yet. GIRL Maybe, I can get out again. MURRAY You're untouchable now. GIRL But you think maybe you can get me off? PACO No. GIRL Look, it's not for a month yet, a whole month. Look, keep me chained to the bed for a month, anything!, I dont care! MURRAY (to WILLIS) What do you think? GIRL As long as the chain is long enough for me to get from room to room. MURRAY Naw, too complicated. 82 THE GIRL breaks away. SHE dives for the window and throws it open. No one tries to stop HER. THE 4 MEN are standing with THEIR HEADS bowed, solemn and patient. SHE hesitates for a moment and then climbs out the window, slowly and clumsily as though SHE were climbing over a fence. PACO What floor are we on? JOEL 14. MURRAY This is embarrassing. WILLIS You didn't want to go out to Amagansett, anyway. MURRAY The cops will keep us up all night about this, anyway. JOEL Naww, it's a clear case of temporary insanity. MURRAY Yeah, she didn't scream. THE GIRL CLIMBS back in the window. SHE stands with HER FISTS ON HER HIPS and harrumphs loudly. THE MEN notice SHE's still there. THEY are mortified. GIRL No, not one step closer or I jump. 83 MURRAY I got a feeling this is going to be one of those days. JOEL (without enthusiasm) Well, oh, yeah. Dont jump. There is the SOUND of leather heels on a marble floor. The SOUND gets louder. GIRL Why not? PACO It's over. He's here. JOEL runs to the closet and locks HIMSELF in. HE immediately starts trying to break HIS way out, with many thumps and grunts. PACO draws HIS gun and steps behind the half open office door. JESSE sweeps into the room. JOEL is still struggling in the closet. JESSE stares at it in fascination. JOEL bursts open the closet door and stands there grinning wildly. HE's followed out by THE 2ND MURDERER doing a zombie stagger. The meat thermometer sticking out of HIS eye now reads 68. JOEL Jesus, but call him Jesse, it makes him happy. JESSE Where is he? PACO steps from behind the door and shoots JESSE through the head. JESSE doesn't move. PACO pushes HIM slightly and JESSE falls over like a tree. 84 PACO (to THE GIRL) Alright, you want to walk wanted for murder or you want the joint, Which is it going to be? GIRL Walk. PACO What's her bail? MURRAY 25,000. PACO I pay that, the 3000 you paid to find her and 5,000 a piece to sweeten it. MURRAY I cant do it, Dolly. PACO 50,000 even. MURRAY That's a police captain for Christ sakes, that's an assassination already. We cant cover for you, we just cant. JOEL sighs and turns up the radio loud. PACO shoots MURRAY AND WILLIS in the stomach. WILLIS, HIS spine severed, leaps over sideways in what would be a foetal position except that HIS arms are half extended. Reflexing violently, HE jerks around violently in a small circle. HIS face is immobile, eyes half focussed as if HE were doing something complicated in HIS head and doing a good job of it. 85 MURRAY drops to a squat and instinctively reaches for a cigarette, but HE's shaking too badly. HE holds the pack out in front of HIM, cigarettes flying out with the shaking of HIS hand. PACO picks a one off the floor and puts it in MURRAY's mouth, but MURRAY bites it through. PACO shoots MURRAY AND WILLIS once each through the head. THEY fall over dead without further argument. THE GIRL has been standing with HER hands crossed protectively over HER breasts. SHE is hopping rapidly from one foot to the other. HER face has a wildly inappropriate expression of cold hauteur. JOEL takes HIS fist out of HIS mouth and wipes HIS hand on HIS hair. JOEL Well, I'm convinced. PACO Here, Puss, take the gun. You can buy bullets as soon as you get to New Jersey. JOEL It's empty? PACO Yeah, I leave... JOEL draws and shoot at THE GIRL, but PACO knocks HIS arm aside in time. PACO ...the hammer on an empty chamber. Why did you do that? 86 JOEL Why'd I do that? That's 25K down the drain. Why'd you let her go? PACO You'll catch her again. She'll go back to her neighborhood to get the money to get away, like she did last time. JOEL Why should I have to catch her again? PACO It looks better this way. If you shot her, it looks like you were in control of the situation and, if you were in control, then you let it happen meaning: You did it. JOEL freezes, analytical over load. Am I going to fast for you? Are you alright? JOEL doesn't move or change expression. HE's a statue. PACO ignores HIM and starts robbing the wallets of the dead. JOEL Whadayadoin? leave some for the cops. PACO If we dont rob their wallets, it's like a signed confession. HE's stealing THEIR watches too. JOEL Alright, 50-50. PACO 50-50, right down the middle. 87 THE 1ST MURDERER enters silently. HE's wearing an English riding habit. HE carries a plumbers helper and an inflatable girl doll of the kind sold in porn stores. With obvious delight, HE begins arranging the corpses in a funeral pose. JOEL Explain again why you let her go. PACO Later, lets' go eat first. JOEL You just ate. PACO Yeah, but all that red meat. It makes me hungry. JOEL It's a problem. But you got one kidney. Shouldn't you cut down on red meat? Outside the window, Magritte's Castle of The Pyrenees is being attacked by a fleet of dirigibles. A KNIGHT IN ARMOR goes by in a hot air balloon. HE's carrying a giant can opener. HE AND PACO smile at each other. PACO Give it a rest. THE WHITE HORSE WITH A PEACOCK"S TAIL AND A WOMAN"S FACE stops outside the window. ELVIS is in the saddle and wearing a suit- of-lights Las Vegas costume. HE winks. PACO climbs onto the HORSE behind HIM and THEY gallup away into the sky. BLACKOUT
Copyright © 1999 Victoria King |