MARK

You’re sure you want me to go out there to do this? I could always
set my desk up in here so you can stare into my eyes!

JEFF

What, and have you talking to me all day when I’m attempting to get
on with things? No thanks!

MARK laughs, but takes the hint.

MARK

All right, all right, I’m going! Just promise me you’re going
to call her – it took ages getting that number in the first place.

JEFF

Mark, I will phone, I swear, now get out!

MARK

Yes, Sir!

MARK mock salutes, and grinning, exits the room completely, closing the
door behind him. JEFF begins typing at his computer again, but his eyes keep being drawn
to the Post-It note stuck on the desk. He tries, unsuccessfully, to ignore it. He makes a
frustrated noise and picks it up. JEFF dials the number.

We cut to:

17. INT. PAULINE’S FLAT. DAY

A phone is ringing on a small table. No one answers it, so the
answering machine message comes on:

ANSWERING MACHINE (PAULINE’S VOICE)

Hi, this is Pauline’s machine. I’m afraid I can’t get to
the phone at the moment, but if you leave a name and number, I’ll get back to you as
soon as I can.

JEFF’S VOICE

Hi, Pauline. This is Jeff Crossley from Crossley and Son, the company. I
saw you cleaning windows the other day, if you remember. I don’t know if you do, but
you might. Anyway, I was wondering whether you wanted that coffee tonight? If you do, we
could meet in the coffee-house. It’s called "Ray’s," and it’s
right near my office. Well, I hope I’ll see you there this evening at around eight
o’clock, and I –

There is a loud BEEP as the machine cuts JEFF off.

JEFF replaces the receiver.

JEFF

Damn!

JEFF reaches over, picks up the receiver once more, and is just about
to hit the redial button, when he changes his mind. He replaces the receiver, and leans
back in his chair instead. He is smiling.

JEFF is sitting alone at a table for two. It is cosy and warm inside
the coffee-house, and the table is equipped with a candle that is slowly burning all the
way down. In his hands, JEFF holds an empty mug. He looks at his watch, and then at the
clock on the wall. They both say the same time: nine o’clock. He has been waiting for
an hour. The waitress, DANIELLE, a happy looking young girl, approaches him:

DANIELLE

Can I get you another coffee?

JEFF

All right, just one more. Short vanilla-

DANIELLE finishes the order for him:

DANIELLE

Short vanilla cappuccino.

JEFF looks surprised.

JEFF

Have I been here that long?

DANIELLE

(Laughing) This is your fifth cappuccino! If you don’t mind me
asking; who are you waiting for?

JEFF

Oh, just someone I promised a coffee to a little while ago. I guess
she’s changed her mind.

DANIELLE

She’s a fool if she has. Just the fact that you’re still
waiting shows what sort of person you are. (Pause). I’ll just get your order.

JEFF

Thanks.

DANIELLE walks away from JEFF’S table, back to the bar area.

PAULINE walks quickly from the bus stop up to the front door of
Ray’s CoffeeHouse. She peers through the glass door, and sees JEFF waiting at the
table. She opens the door and goes inside.

PAULINE walks over to JEFF’S table. At first he doesn’t
notice her, as he is lost in his own thoughts. When she sits down, however, he looks up,
surprised.

PAULINE

I only just got your message, or I would have been here ages ago. You do
realise that you can leave a message with my company, don’t you? They’ll get it
back to me, which would have been a much simpler and more effective way to do this. Also,
I should tell you that Thursdays aren’t good for me – I had to cancel an
important appointment for you, because you didn’t leave me a number to get back to
you.

JEFF is stunned into silence at this barrage. DANIELLE arrives at the
table and gets out her notebook and pen.

DANIELLE

Good evening, Madam, may I get you anything?

PAULINE

Yes, I’ll have a coffee.

DANIELLE

Cappuccino, latte, mocha, regular?

PAULINE

Regular.

DANIELLE

Tall, short, fat, thin?

PAULINE

(Angrily) Look, sweetheart, all I want is a normal cup of coffee, and by
that I mean in a cup, not a mug. Is that all right by you, or is that particular choice no
longer valid in today’s society?

DANIELLE

(Flustered) No, it’s fine, I’ll just-

PAULINE

Go!

DANIELLE scuttles off to the kitchen, but not before she pulls a
disgusted face in JEFF’S direction, showing that she does not approve of his date at
all.

JEFF

I think there’s been some sort of misunderstanding here.

PAULINE

Misunderstanding is right; you could have taken me to a place with a bit
more class.

JEFF

No, I mean with you.

PAULINE

(Shocked) Excuse me?

JEFF

God, I didn’t mean to offend, but I mean, I wasn’t expecting
you. Are you Pauline?

PAULINE

(Sarcastically) No, I’m Madonna! Can’t you see the pointy bra
under my clothes?

JEFF leans in towards PAULINE, so that they can speak quietly. PAULINE
also leans in, expecting this to be some sort of declaration from JEFF.

JEFF

Look, I think my secretary has made a mistake. There’s been a
mix-up. I was supposed to be meeting the other window-cleaner, the one you were working
with the other day.

PAULINE

Her? You wanted to meet with little Miss Pathetic-and-Useless? Laurie?

JEFF

Please don’t get angry; it was just a mistake. We can still have
this coffee, I’d be glad to pay.

PAULINE

You have got to be joking!

It is now raining, and LAURIE is hurrying along the street towards the
bus stop which is just past the door of Ray’s. As she passes the large window, she
glances in, only to see JEFF and PAULINE sitting at a table together, leaning in very
closely. LAURIE looks shocked. She takes a step back from the window and bumps into MR.
HARDING, who is carrying an umbrella.

MR. HARDING

Laurie, girl, what are you doing out in this weather?

LAURIE

(Mumbling) I was going to the bus stop.

LAURIE points in the direction of the bus stop, and MR. HARDING follows
her finger with his eyes.

MR. HARDING

Don’t be silly; I practically pass your place on my way home. Come
in, I’ll give you a lift. There’s no point waiting in the rain. And, as an added
bonus, in the car you can tell me what’s made you so upset this evening.

LAURIE

How do you know?

MR. HARDING just looks at her and smiles. They walk away from
Ray’s Coffee-House. Throughout this scene, JEFF and PAULINE have been talking in the
background, though the window of Ray’s. Now PAULINE stands angrily and looks as
though she is shouting at JEFF. LAURIE and MR. HARDING do not see this.

JEFF is still sitting at the same table, and PAULINE is standing.

JEFF

Pauline, please, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just-

PAULINE

I cannot believe that you would prefer her to me! What’s wrong with
you?

JEFF now becomes angry with PAULINE. He stands also.

JEFF

That’s it! I’ve had just about enough of you insulting me, and
insulting her. I think it’s time you left.

PAULINE

You think it’s time I left? I’m sorry, but I’m not
going anywhere until my coffee turns up.

JEFF

You greedy bitch!

PAULINE simply smiles sweetly at JEFF, who throws some money down onto
the table and storms out of the coffee-house. All of the CUSTOMERS stare at him as he
goes. PAULINE settles back into the chair, pocketing the money as she does so. DANIELLE
brings her coffee, and leaves quickly before she can be yelled at. PAULINE sips on the
coffee, smiling to herself.

LAURIE unlocks her front door. MR. HARDING stands behind her, holding
his umbrella above them both to keep them dry.

LAURIE

Thanks for listening, Mr. Harding; it was really kind of you. You really
didn’t need to come all the way up here, though, if you need to get home.

MR. HARDING

What have I got waiting for me at home? The TV, and the radio, and
that’s it. I may as well spend a few extra minutes making sure you get home safely.
And, of course, I want to.

LAURIE is having trouble unlocking the door. In her efforts, she is
making some noise. Suddenly the door opens, and ANGELA, wearing a dressing gown and
slippers, is standing there.

ANGELA

What’s all this racket about?

LAURIE

Sorry, the key wouldn’t turn. What are you doing in bed at this
time of night? It’s early!

ANGELA

I was sleeping. I’ve got a meeting in the morning, and I
want to be as awake as I possibly can for it.

LAURIE

Sorry.

ANGELA

Ah, don’t worry about it.

ANGELA notices MR. HARDING.

ANGELA

What’s going on here then?

MR. HARDING

Laurie’s had a bit of a nasty surprise, and I’m here to help.
Can we come in?

ANGELA

Oh, well, yes, I suppose…

MR. HARDING

Thank you, young lady.

LAURIE and MR. HARDING enter the flat.

MARK parks his car outside JEFF’S house and gets out. He admires
the house as he stands by his car, and then walks up the drive to the front door. He rings
the bell.

JEFF reaches his front door and opens it.

JEFF

Mark, come in.

MARK walks into JEFF’S house.

ANGELA sits on her normal place on the sofa, and LAURIE joins her
there. MR. HARDING remains standing in front of the sofa. He begins to pace back and
forth.

ANGELA

I can’t believe you saw him having coffee with that Pauline tart!

LAURIE

Believe it. I saw it myself, and they looked pretty damned cosy as well.

MR. HARDING

Yes, but from all accounts there would be no reason for him to have
anything to do with her. You said yourself that she’s hateful, and that it was you he
asked for coffee.

ANGELA

It’s a conundrum.

MR. HARDING

Yeah, and one we’re going to solve. Or, to put it more accurately,
one Laurie here’s going to solve. Right, love?

LAURIE

Right?

Mr. HARDING

Good, that’s settled.

LAURIE

But, I didn’t say- I didn’t-

LAURIE looks to ANGELA for help, but ANGELA is enjoying this too much.
She simply laughs, seeing the funny side of the situation and then shrugs her shoulders.

MR. HARDING

It’s all right, sweetheart, it’s a simple plan. All
you’ve got to do is go to the building, and wait for him. That’s it. When
you’ve got some free time, go over there, wait until you see him, and Bob’s your
uncle! Or, if you like, Jeff’s your man. And now I’m going before this gets out
of hand!

MR. HARDING goes to the door. LAURIE follows. As they reach the door,
she speaks:

LAURIE

Thanks.

MR. HARDING winks, and leaves.

MARK is sitting in JEFF’S kitchen, at a pine table. A large cat is
purring contentedly on his lap, but MARK does not seem too keen on it. JEFF is pouring two
cups of tea. He carries them over to the table, and gives one to MARK. He then sits down
himself. All this time he is speaking:

JEFF

It was he single most embarrassing moment of my life! I cannot believe
the bloody gall of that woman, expecting me to just sit back and take it! And do you know
the worst part?

MARK shakes his head.

JEFF

I can’t go back to the coffee-house again! Not after she was so
insulting to the waitress. I’ll never live it down!

MARK has now disentangled himself from the cat. He leans on the table.

MARK

I think you’re exaggerating, Jeff.

JEFF

You weren’t there.

MARK

No, thank God! Three’s a crowd, as they say!

JEFF

I can’t even believe that the wrong woman turned up. You realise
that this Laurie girl will now think that I wanted to go out with Pauline. I
shouldn’t think she’ll want to speak to me after this.

MARK

That’s not a total disaster, is it? I mean, you only wanted to look
into her eyes anyway, so-

JEFF

I’ll call the company tomorrow. I’ll get the real number.
Remember to bring the company’s number with you to the station.

MARK

Okay. Can I go home now? I really do need at least eight hours sleep, or
I just can’t concentrate…

JEFF

(Laughing) All right, off you go. Sweet dreams! Oh, and thanks for
coming over, even if you didn’t help in the slightest!

MARK

Not helping in the slightest is what I’m here for; you should know
that by now.

29. INT. LOBBY OF JEFF’S OFFICE BUILDING. DAY.

It is the next day. LAURIE is sitting in the lobby of JEFF’S
building, eating her lunch, which consists of some sandwiches, and an apple. Every time
somebody walks past, she looks up hopefully, only to find that it isn’t JEFF. The man
at the front desk, DAVIS, eyes her suspiciously. Finally he calls across:

DAVIS

Excuse me? Madam?

LAURIE

Yes?

DAVIS

Can I help you at all?

LAURIE stands, brushing crumbs from her lap. She walks over to the
desk.

LAURIE

Yes, I was just waiting for Jeff Crossley.

DAVIS

Well you’re going to be waiting a quite a while; he’s gone up
to Manchester for a meeting.

LAURIE

Oh. Does he have a mobile number I can have? Or his home number?

DAVIS

Are you an employee in the building?

LAURIE

Not exactly. I was f- (Pause) I left a few days ago.

DAVIS

In that case I can’t give out any personal numbers. All I can do is
give you the number of the hotel he’s staying at in Manchester. Perhaps if you call
them they can pass on a message.

LAURIE

Thanks.

DAVIS writes the number down and hands it to LAURIE. She looks at it, then puts it in
her pocket.

30. INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE. DAY.

JEFF and MARK are on a train bound for Manchester. JEFF takes out his mobile, and turns
it on. There is no signal.

JEFF

Mark, can I borrow your phone for a minute, mine’s got nothing.

MARK

Sure. I’ve got a bit of a signal.

JEFF dials the number typed on the Clearway card that is in his hand.
He holds the phone to his ear for a moment, then takes it away and looks at it. The bars
indicating a signal have disappeared. Annoyed, he hands it back to MARK.

JEFF

No signal!

MARK

It’s okay, Jeff, relax! We’ll be in Manchester soon enough,
and then you can try again. That is, if you haven’t either collapsed from stress or
exploded from frustration by then!

JEFF leans back against the train seat. He takes out his phone to check
once more, and then puts it back in his jacket breast pocket.

MARK

I’ve got something that will cheer you up.

JEFF

What’s that?

MARK

Travel Scrabble!

JEFF looks horrified and dismayed as MARK produces the game from his
briefcase.

LAURIE and PAULINE are at work, cleaning office windows. LAURIE seems
much calmer this time, although she is still not as comfortable on the platform as PAULINE
is. They are not speaking, until PAULINE says:

PAULINE

Last night was the best night out I’ve had in ages.

LAURIE does not respond.

PAULINE

Do you know why?

LAURIE

Because you were with Jeff?

PAULINE is a little irritated that LAURIE already knows, but proceeds
anyway.

PAULINE

Yes, because I was with Jeff. He’s so wonderful; he’s sweet,
caring, generous… Did you know he paid for it all?

LAURIE

(Sarcastically) He paid for two cups of coffee? Well, yes, that
certainly is charitable.

PAULINE

Two cups of coffee, to start with, then we went to a posh restaurant. We
had lobster, and Champagne. It was magical. We’re going out again tonight.

LAURIE

I’m so pleased for you.

PAULINE

(Suspiciously) What do you mean?

LAURIE

I mean that I’m pleased you have such an active imagination;
it’s the only thing that’s going to keep you company when you’re old and
grey and on your own.

PAULINE

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

LAURIE

Jeff’s not going to be around tonight; he’s in Manchester at a
meeting, so you can’t be seeing him.

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Copyright © 2000 Lisamarie Jones
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"