Betrothed To Danger (4) “It is not really something I wish to discuss, kind as you are. I have not the time or the answers so I must bid you farewell.” “Please stay or might I be so bold as to accompany you home? I enjoy your company so. You realize you are a very delightful woman. My heart is with dear Emma, but her friend is surely a friend of mine.” Miss Taylor, flushed with his attention graciously accepted his offer and they walked down the lane to Emma’s house, Will harbouring a secret he wished to keep hidden from Miss Taylor, that he deeply wished Emma would be there. Later in the story... (this book is not finished) Emma was engrossed in the young man in front of her. She sat shaking her head at the strangeness of the situation. She knew she ought not to and knew it would mean much disgrace if her surreptitious feelings about another than her fiancée were exposed. She had never been in love before. She was lost in a feeling so consuming it was quite intimidating. Intensely in love was a term used by immature people; people who had never been in love before, in any case not in this fashion. This overwhelming feeling of love, hate, resentment and absolute ecstasy was not ‘intense love’. The want to weep and laugh simultaneously could not be deemed ‘intense love’. Surely the pain she felt when he left was not a cause of this antonym She stared in a trance at Will, seeing for the first time the real damage such a simple and natural feeling could if truth be told produce. She also realised she had woken out of her thoughts a little too late and love had already woven its enchanting spell through her heart; her soul. It already had a hold on her that could never be broken. Will had stopped talking and was looking into her eyes. Emma looked down swiftly and felt herself flush violently. Up until that instant, she had never had a memory of being shy, yet now she looked away with colour in her cheek simply as a consequence of someone gazing at her. She would normally have been pleased with the attention of a young man and she would have continued to have flirted outrageously with him until the end of the evening where she would never turn a blind eye to him another time. Nevertheless, she sat captivated; realising there was something about this young man, making him diverse from the juvenile rest. Will raised a hand to her cheek. He forced her gently to look up. Emma brought herself to look into his eyes and saw a calm, powerful sense of control she had only seen in Mr Roberts’s eyes though they had been shadowy and cold. These eyes were filled with a young brand of innocence. She touched his hand tenderly and felt him shaking slightly though his face held the appearance of confidence. “I know you are to be wed to this Mr Roberts, but we both know we can’t help the feelings we have. Emma, tell me I’m wrong, tell me I made my feelings known under false pretence and I have overstepped the line. Look at me and if you can sincerely say there is nothing there, I will leave you. I will leave you, this house, and this town. I will leave my life for I could not handle the fact that every time I see you, my stomach would over turn. I would feel so sick there would be no point in my putting myself through it. Tell me you do not love me and I will go, walk out forever. Leave you be. But now I beg of you please don’t toy with my heart.” “Will, I… Will I am to be wed to Mr Roberts, I can not… it would never work.” She finished ineffectually. Will looked away. “You can not mean that. It would work. We are meant to be together. I have never felt this way about any other person and I’m ruined if I would pass this by. You love me, I know you do. You must, I can tell it when you leave the shop. I can see it in your eyes. Your heart -”. “No Will. I don’t love you; I couldn’t love you. I would never let myself fall in love. Love isn’t for me, I am still young. I need to marry someone who can support me in what I do. I can’t fall in love with you, I must love a nobleman. Curse you Will! Why must you look at me in that manner, I can’t love you!” “Are you telling me or yourself Emma?” Emma got up and ran out the shop. She collapsed on a bench beside a field and felt hot tears roll down her face. She hurriedly wiped them away and put her head in her hands. Feeling someone sit beside her she sat up hurriedly and made an attempt to clean her damp eyes. The man beside her sat in silence and leant back into the bench breathing slowly. “Why are you crying?” “It is on no basis. I apologise. I did not expect you to enter.” “Do not apologise, I believe a person is damned if they are to carry their burdens through life without once letting them out. To cry is to release ones soul of ones plight.” Emma turned to look at the man. His hair had evidentially been a passion of his when young as it sat elegantly beneath his hat now flecked with grey. His eyes were smiling and showed wisdom. He had the nature of a man who she felt she could trust. He smiled at her and Emma gazed in awe at him. “It also helps to tell another of ones troubles. Might I be of service to you Miss?” “I, well it wouldn’t really matter to you but I just told someone something I dearly wish I hadn’t, that was quite the contrary to my actual thoughts and I fear I may have lost him forever. He told me he loved me and all I could say was that I would never be with him though all that was going through my head was how much I adored him. I almost certainly ought not tell you this but I just need to tell someone.” A glimmer of recognition had flashed in the man’s eyes and he looked thoughtfully at Emma. “Forgive my abruptness Miss, but might I ask if you would be a Miss Emma?” Emma stared, astonished. How should this stranger know her name? Was she truly that well known in town? “How did you come across my name please?” “My apprentice often talks of a young girl he claims loves him and he obviously dearly loves her, or might I say you? My apprentice, Will, has chosen wisely I can see.” “How do you mean chosen?” “He is a firm believer in having one love throughout ones life and if he has chosen you, I can see he chose wisely and will surely be aggrieved by your choice of words. Might I ask my being on my way? If he is in distress I must go to him.” ”Please! I beg you do not breathe a word of my disclosure. No one must know. If my feelings were to be spoken around the town my mother would be…” she struggled for a way to express her true meaning without causing any offence, “would be angry. I can not say hurt as you have to love to be hurt and I can honestly say such a man would never love a person.” “Miss Emma, you can trust I would never speak a word of this to anyone, neither shall I to Will, though might I suggest you do? He is madly in love with you; surely you must have seen that.” “Yes. It is true, I did see his love for me, and I do return it. It’s just, it is hard.” “What is there to be hard?” “I have never been in love before. I do not know what to think or do. I have never experienced these feelings before. I know nothing of what is happening here. Can you not see my agony? The pain? I don’t like to leave him, of course I don’t, but I find it hard to think of any other plausible solution.” “That is a very strong case you present Miss Emma. But might I ask why you are in need of such a solution?” “Of course. I simply can’t be with Will for it presents a problem when I am to leave this town.” “You are to leave?” “Yes. I will be wed to a respectful gentleman within the week.” “You are engaged?” The tailor had arisen with an intake of breath at the revelation and now began to sink back into the bench, stunned. “I am sorry to have alarmed you. But might I ask why I did?” “There was no suggestion that you were engaged in my inquirings after you. Does Will not know?” “Oh, but he does. Did he not tell you?” “No, and now I wonder if he does have such taste as I originally supposed. Surely he would not be involved in such a scandal?” “Perhaps not, but is it such a crime? He acts only on a lover’s instinct, though I myself am inclined to agree with you on this matter. Do you see now why I tried to detach myself from your apprentice?” “I do, and you have my full endorsement until such a time when it is not needed.” “Thank you. How I wish more people were like you Sir.” “How fortunate I was to find you so that my foolish beliefs of your character have been redesigned. On my part, I believe if such complications had not arisen, I would be glad to have you as a daughter.” “I did not know Will was your son.” “Alas, he is not, you are correct there. My wife and I took him in when he was but twelve years of age, not being able to become parents ourselves.” “Yes I remember now, he had mentioned something in that topic. Has he no other relations?” “I believe his mother and father both died of scarlet fever when he was very small, though his brother raised him through his troublesome years. Yet at the end of these years, he was discarded from the family home in Devonshire, a handsome estate it is true, with an income of only £200 a year. It all seemed very puzzling yet Will has grown into a fine figure of a gentleman despite his rough childhood.” “You say his brother is in Devonshire?” “Yes, though I believe he does not stay there for more than a month in a year. I am not sure where he is situated currently.” “Well I thank you for our talk Sir, and await another with great anticipation.” “And I the same.” And as the old man departed from her slowly, Emma was left to decipher what was to be seen from her discussions. However, her thoughts kept boiling down to one thought. Mr Roberts’ estate was situated in Devonshire way, and he and Will had certainly shown a dislike for each other that seemed otherwise unexplainable. She was sure she was mistaken - it was purely coincidental. She wandered down the lane, unaware of anything around her. She had no clue where she was headed, but merely strolled in no specific direction through town trying to decipher her thoughts. Later... Miss Taylor felt Emma’s rapt stare on the couple revolving in the centre of the ballroom. She felt obliged to follow her orders, as Emma had recently given her a good sum of money in aid of buying a small house by the coast for when she retired. Though she could not help but wonder why Emma was urging her into getting acquainted with Mr. Roberts as it was only recently that she had been continuously whining of his vulgar ways. Miss Taylor was swiftly interrupted from her thoughts when she felt Mr. Robert’s hands gradually edging closer to her derriere, feeling entirely uncomfortable with this she withdrew herself from his arms only to find her path blocked by him once more. A quick glance at Emma assured her that she knew what was happening and miss Taylor felt sure that she would do something to stop it but upon realising that Miss Taylor was looking in her direction Emma promptly averted her gaze. Miss Taylor spoke in a barely audible whisper to Mr. Roberts "I do not know what you are trying to achieve by dancing with me and what you and Emma are planning but it would be much appreciated by me if you were to just leave me be. I have no interest in you and never have done, if you thought otherwise; that is my confirmation." With this, Miss Taylor flew around and stormed up one of the sweeping staircases in search of one of the toilets, she needed to clear her mind and return to a state of calm.
Copyright © 2003 Emma Trew |