Murder Considered As One Of The Fine Arts (2) He opens his fists. his hands are covered with blood. "You're not bleeding." "It isn't my blood." "I dont want to know about this part of your life." 14 "Do you have any fantasies?". "You asked me that." "I'm asking again." "When I was 7 years old, I cried when I learned that there were no unicorns. "That's why I'm here, to cry about unicorns." "Is she dead? "Practicing poses in front of a mirror, last I saw." "Take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning." "There were 2 of them. Three. Two, then we had to go looking for a third." "I dont want to hear it. It's not an interesting story." "I'm sorry." "Does that mean you did a bad thing and didn't mean it or, you did a good thing and I dont know it?" "Do I still interest you or, are you just practicing?" "I dont know. If only you didn't want to be mothered like every other man who walks in here, maybe. " "Then why do you play these dumb games?" "That's funny, coming from you. It should be funny. You remind me of my father, vaguely." "That would explain it, but why make it so complicated?" "It isn't complicated, but you keep changing the subject "There's an end of semester party, she wants to meet you." "Sure, why not?" 15 METROPOLITAN MUSEUM The Primitive Art Exhibition. David and Leslie are in front of a display of Oceanic masks. David makes the sign against the evil eye. Leslie smiles in surprise. "It seems innocent enough to me, almost childlike." It is, compared to her. David decides against saying it "All history is a conspiracy to generate Afghan statues, Venetian paintings, African masks, Siberian nose flutes, Grecian urns, Egyptian cosmetic pots! And with no other purpose except that I have to memorize them." "Then quit. It's no strain to support you. You cost less than a cat." "I'd be at your mercy. "You think you're not?" "I'll think about it." "Good. And stay away from Sarah." "You been talking to Chen?" "He called a few times to see if you were there." They pass a series of Trobiand Island totem poles. They stop in front of an Egyptian mummy case. "The ultimate in Bondage." "Would you settle for a movie and a pizza?" She miles, "It's worth a try." The Equestrian Court. They're looking at a knight in armor on horseback. It looks dandified and jubilantly homicidal. 16 "How can you find that beautiful?" "I'm a criminal." Leslie looks at her watch. DESIGNER’S SHOWROOM A fashion show. It's in an auditorium and the atmosphere is that of a high school musical. The clothes are sober and suburban in mild and inoffensive colors. In compensation, The model’s make up is desperately surreal. The models wear box-like face masks of scarlet satin and clusters of wildly curling hair pinnings that look like broken springs. Jeweled beading has been glued to their cheeks in squiggly lines. their lipstick and nail polish are black and shiny as patent leather. David studies all this as though it were primitive art which, of course, it is. ANOTHER DESIGNER’S SHOWROOM David and Leslie at another fashion show. They're seated in the front row. Evidently, She is a customer of some importance. The models are dressed in the military whore style of 1979: spiky boots and skirts split to the thigh, and a Garbo-esque masculinity that's progressively more menacing. The model have enormously padded shoulders that make them huge, vaguely frightening figures striding along to martial music, giving angry glances to one side and then the other. David and Leslie smile at each other. At the moment, they're feeling very in tune. Then comes a model wearing a lather and satin version of SWAT armor. Even David and Leslie are puzzled. MODEL’S DRESSING ROOM Leslie is picking up one of the models. They seem delighted with each other. Leslie buys The model's entire costume for her and she leaves with Leslie and David. The model is totally affected and obnoxious which is perfectly all right because she's going to get killed. WHITNEY MUSEUM (NIGHT) There is an exhibit by Duane Hansen on the 3rd floor. These are 17 17 extremely life-like sculptures done mostly in acrylics. The statues are meticulously detailed even to body hair and skin grain. And the models are not idealized so that it takes a while to realize that they're not alive. At the entrance there's a guard standing in an authoritative pose, the butt of his .357 magnum leaning out of the holster at you. In front of him is a wall painter with powerful forearms and a potbelly wearing spattered overalls and standing on a paint spotted canvas. He's holding a large paint roller but has stopped in mid-gesture to stare pensively into space. David turns to a Puerto Rica waitress with a mole on her cheek the size of a ping-pong ball. She's wearing a pink uniform and She leans to one side poised in a psychotic stance. She's very out of place and on closer inspection turns out to be one of the statues. So are the guard and the painter. The set up of the museum is such that you take the elevator to the exhibits on the 3rd floor and then walk down to the permanent exhibits on the 2nd. The continue couple on their tour, around the exhibit and down the stairs. On the midfloor landing is a seedy old man laying on his back with his features clenched in the rictus of angina. his face is purple. he obviously had a severe heart attack and is close to death. The couple we have been following pause for a moment undecided what to do. "We've got to do something." "We cant get involved in this. Dont let it ruin your evening." "We have to get out of here, we might be called as witnesses." They scamper away without noticing the TV cameras hanging from the ceiling. WHITNEY MUSEUM 2nd FLOOR A small crowd is watching the previous scene on a larger TV set and 18 giggling. It seems it was a set up. The seedy old man is a statue too. WHITNEY MUSEUM 3rd FLOOR David, Leslie and The model enter from the elevator. The model looks around puzzled. She walks up to the guard. "Excuse me, but can you tell me what time the museum closes. Excuse me!" Some passers by giggle. She touches the guard on the arm and discovers that it's a statue. David looks around casually, but it's a typical museum crowd. Then the elevator opens and a real guard enters. David sees them first. He and Leslie turn, striking a pose, gawking like tourists at a blank wall. The guard takes them for 2 of the statues. David waits until He's turned a corner. The guard passes a glamorous woman impaled on an asagai, the short stabbing spear of the Zulus. Unlike the .357 the spear is real. He takes The Woman and The Spear for one more exhibit. He looks distracted. There is the faint, steady sound of dripping water. he looks at the floor and sees that the Woman is dripping blood. he puts his fingers into it and tastes it. It's blood alright. It's The model and David has pinned her to the wall with a spear from the exhibit. He falls over with a convulsive heart attack then lays very still. Tourists pass by. They take him and the model for statues. "I like it." "Well it is only clever exhibit here." CHEQUER CAB (NIGHT) David and Leslie are sitting in the back, holding hands and looking out opposite windows. There is blood on their shoes and under their fingernails. Each of them has a black prostitute kneeling between their legs giving oral sex. The one in front of David is smiling with her eyes like The Laughing Cavalier. David smiles too. "Marcel Duchamp said it, but we actually did it." "Do you think we should get a motorcycle?" 19 "No, I had one for a year and it didn't kill me, they cant be any good." "We're sure to be identified from all those video cameras." "No one was ever identified from a video tape or there'd never be a successful bank robbery. But the designer, we left with his model. He saw us, he'll turn us in." "No, he wont. I'm far too good a customer." "You're sure?" "Positive." "That's sad, in a way." "I know. Poverty turns men into animals." They ride off into the night. FACULTY LOUNGE The decor is vintage 1938 science-fiction. The French math prof. walks by, his pants held up by a rope, and carrying a tray with 8 Bloody Marys. "Is too difficult do mathematics." He sits down and starts drinking with enthusiasm. David, Chen, their art history professor and an MD.. Ph.D. named Peter are sitting shoulder to shoulder on a couch. They look grim. They're not party people. Peter is wearing a white lab coat over a $1,500 suit. Chen is playing with the I CHING, tossing the coins on a coffee table in front of David "I'll tell your fortune." "I dont want to be reminded." "Sounds like he's getting ready to off himself." 20 "No, he cant stand to live in doubt so, he's convinced himself it's hopeless." "Are you trying to say it isn't?" "David, if you were hopeless, I wouldn't hate you. At least, not quite as much as I do right now." Sarah prances up. She's wearing a long flouncy flowered dress and her hair is up in Brunhilde braids. She looks ready to serve beer at the Nuremburg rally. "I'm going back to med school next year. I might as well be a specialist. I just dont know if I can handle it." "Everyone comes back steadier after having been away." "I hope." "And what specialty will you take?" "Pediatrics." Peter gets interested "Really?, what field?" "I just dont know yet." "Boy, did you just avoid walking into a trap." "Practice." She walks off with a 1940' mix of hauteur and invitation, flirting over her shoulder in the Lauren Bacall manner. "I really dont see what you're complaining about." "It's boring. "It's supposed to be. Mark of a well planned life: no surprises." "Did you ever hear the old Chinese curse: 21 May you live in interesting times." "Chen, Old Buddy, someone has to be the one to tell you: It isn't Chinese, it's from a Bogart movie." Sarah has run head on into Leslie. "Darling, your braids are beautiful, but they must take so much time." "They give me an air of authority. I find that useful. I'm a doctor." "Yes, I know, and I envy you." "Working an 18 hour shift?" "You have real problems, you dont have to invent imaginary ones to keep yourself interested." "You are my real problem." "No, Dear Heart, I am not. I am not your enemy. I think he should be courting a young girl. It's traditional. And I defer to you." "I'm sure that we can go on be exquisitely polite to each other for years. But I give lousy head." "Alright, forget it." David and the group are watching Sarah and Leslie. “I keep expecting something to happen.” “Boredom is a splendid antidote to fear.” “The fear is a splendid antidote to boredom.” “David, you are enormously irritating and the worst part of that is that I dont think you mean to be. But, if that's what you believe, take more risks.” 22 “Courage is the last resort of the incompetent. Less risk, more options.” “These cliches are good for nothing but working yourself into a fit.” “It's not a cliche, I just thought of it.” “Cause you think in cliches.” “But he's right. I did some academic espionage once. Another man was in danger of publishing before me. It was a simple matter of finding his day off and when his secretary went off to lunch. I took the keys out of her desk, rifled his desk and was back on the street in 10 minutes.” “What happens if you get caught?” “It didn't happen so, I cant say. The only thing wrong was that I didn't have a story to tell. It occurred to me that, if these things are competently planned, there's no risk. And without risk there can be no Adventure. Consequently, Adventure is a sign of Incompetence.” “And having no story to tell is a mark of success?” “Yes. Success is always simple. It's only defeat that's endlessly complicated.” “I know it. I know it's true. I just wish I could believe it.” Leslie walks up. “It's time to go.” “Yes, I guess it is.” LESLIE’S BEDROOM But it's too dark to dark see much. lots of sweeping black shadows at wrong angles like THE CABINET OF DR.CALIGARI. David is pouring melted ice cream into a baby bottle in an electric warmer. When it's half full, he pours in 4 shots of brandy. 23 Leslie is sitting naked on a huge brass bed. Her shins are strapped together inside a leather tube. There are leather straps to hold her elbows to her knees and her wrists to her ankles. They're unfastened at the moment, but she holds her arms in position to be strapped. There are 5 cats sitting round the room watching her. As the scene progresses, The cats get up and leave in embarrassment. “Why do you put up with me?” David kisses her full on the mouth. “That's very easy for you to say.” David goes back to strapping her in. There are many buckles and straps and laces and his fingers fly as she talks. “You're sure you're not doing all this just to please me?” “What's wrong with pleasing you?” “Nothing.” She's embarrassed. She looks away then at the fashion magazines scattered across the bed. "I dont know why I still read VOGUE, their graphics fell apart when they changed format. They're like the designers, selling their names with nothing to back it up. Oooh!" "Too tight?" "No." "Too loose?" "Just do what you feel." "I will." "Good. I got into fashion after I outgrew science fiction." He kisses her on the mouth. 24 "Are you trying to shut me up?" "No." He takes the baby bottle out of the warmer and tests a drop of it on his elbow. Leslie is still talking. "VOGUE used to be so intense, that was when Diana Vreeland was running things. It all seemed so new then." He pulls a skin-tight leather swim cap over her head and buckles it at the nape of her neck. Only her nose, mouth and chin are exposed. “The Paris edition is still alright.” “The Paris edition is fine, but I dont read French.” “I do and I just look at the pictures.” “I like to read!” Said from out of her mask, this is supposed to be ironic. “Open your mouth. I mean open it and keep it still.” “You say that now.” With a mocking laugh. He pulls her to him, cradling her in his arms. He retrieves the baby bottle from the warmer and slips the nipple into her mouth. She sucks on it languidly. He cradles her head in one hand and makes the soft, reassuring noises one makes to a baby. Then he pulls the bottle out of her mouth and squeezes a drop of formula on his left nipple. he pulls her head to him. She sucks on his nipple thoughtfully. Then he tilts her onto her side, pushing her down and climbing past her. He's on his side, propped up on one elbow, facing her but she's completely out of the frame. He lights a cigarette. His face shows nothing. he reaches across the bed for the Paris VOGUE. He begins leafing through it, Then he gasps and his eyes roll up in his head. THREE HOURS LATER Leslie is sitting up in bed with many frilly pillows propped behind her. 25 David is smoking and staring into space. They both look somewhat dazed. David says "It felt very far away." She's sucking on the world's largest baby pacifier. He grabs it by the ring and pulls it out of her mouth. "Yes. It was. It's strange, you always feel the same way I do, our contact is really very good." "This isn't working. I feel spotlights on me like it was a jail break." "But, Darling, that's exactly what it is." "It's a dirty perfume commercial" "What's wrong with that? "I dont know what we're advertising and I've seen it 18 times." "It's lost some of its surprise, you have to expect that.:. "It's over." “Well, what are you going to do? Tell me your plans.” “Something's got to happen. Something final so there's no going back. If any of this worked we wouldn't have to keep repeating it.” “I guess we just have to keep going farther.” “For God's sake, how?” METROPOLITAN MUSEUM-DEEP NIGHT- A night watchman is walking down the main corridor, making his rounds in a trance of mechanical repetition. David steps out from behind a statue with a Chinese cleaver and decapitates him with one swing. The body keeps walking and swinging its key chain for 15 feet. Then 26 the blood geysers up and the body collapses. “There's something sexy about decapitation. You think it's the jugular spurt?” “I think it would be sexier if you shut up once in a while.” PRIMITIVE ART EXHIBITION-DEEP NIGHT- They have hung a variety of freshly severed heads on all the prongs of a Trobiand Island skull rack. David is daubing them with red and ocher paint. Leslie is exasperated. "Why dont you just go out and slay a dragon?" "There aren't any dragons. Why do you think I ended up in graduate school?" LESLIE’S APARTMENT-DAY- The New York Times is face down on the kitchen table. The last page shows an ad for COSMOPOLITAN. On it rests the severed head of a teenage girl. Leslie is decorating it with beads and sequins and glitter, 18 kinds of blush, gloss, mascara, lipstick and liner. Leslie is in a thoughtful mood.
Copyright © 1999 Angel Obregon |