No Team To Root For (6) At this point, Barrett was getting tired of arguing with Ralph and listening to what he would consider pure bullshit! So he let Ralph have the last word --- just like Janet. He would have a difficult time remembering when he had last won an argument. As Barrett turned toward the kitchen for another beer, he saw Matthew Minton standing only a few feet away. Mint's gaze was on the floor. Both Ralph and Barrett had forgotten that he was in the family room. Ralph walked up to the pharmacist and grabbed his arm. "Listen, Mint." He said menacingly, "This was a private conversation --- if you get my drift. So those comments about Ronni --- you don't mention it to anyone --- okay?" "Sure, Ralph. Sure. No one!" Matthew talked to the floor. He was far too timid and too afraid to ever repeat any portion of what he had heard. Your secret is safe, Ralph! Barrett suddenly felt sorry for Mint and hated Ralph more than ever. Janet, Nellie and Sara all seemed to suddenly emerge from the kitchen carrying crackers, more ugly little cheese filled hors d'oeurves, and chopped liver. Barrett looked at the food and real-ized he had a long evening ahead of him. The thing that would keep him going was knowing that before the night was over he would have the final word. He couldn't wait! "Hey, Barrett!" yelled Ralph. "I'll take that Cutty Sark now." "Sure thing, Ralph." Asshole! Barrett went into the kitchen, downed another bottle of beer and poured Ralph's drink. He tried not to look at the excess appetizers in every corner. As he came out handing Ralph his scotch, the doorbell rang. "Get the door, Barrett." Janet yelled as she went back to the kitchen. There was no 'please'. It was an order. Go to hell, Janet! "Good boy." smirked Ralph. "Do what Mama tells you!" Barrett stopped cold and glared at Ralph. The bell rang again and this time he answered it. He could feel Ralph gawking at him as he opened the door. Lysle and Ronni Richardson were standing in the doorway. Lysle was over six feet tall with thick white hair and a ruddy complexion. Ronni wore her long soft blond hair in a French knot. She was tall and thin with delicate features and a curvaceous figure. She had high cheekbones, large blue eyes, soft smooth skin, and a dark even tan. Her gold earrings were almost to her shoulder and gold bracelets covered both arms. Out of the corner of his eye Barrett could see Mint and Ralph ex-change glances. Barrett was dying to blab Ralph's secret, but he knew he wouldn't. No one would. "Hello." The Richardsons spoke almost in unison, with wide smiles on both their faces. "Come in." said Barrett. His expression displayed both dejection and envy as he fleetingly compared the Richardson's relationship to his and Janet's. There was no contest! He hugged Ronni and shook hands warmly with Lysle. Then they walked into the living room where the Richardsons, with painted smiles, said their required salutations to the Mintons and Ralph Sharkey. Nellie and Matthew were dipping crackers into the chopped liver and Ralph was still nursing his scotch and drool-ing over Ronni. Sara and Janet came in from the kitchen with another tray of ugly little cheese filled hors d'oeurves. There were more salutations and more painted smiles. "Can I get you something?" asked Barrett as he played host to the Richardsons. "Nothing for me, Barrett." said Ronni as she walked over to Sara and Janet. "Beer is fine." said Lysle. The optometrist went into the kitchen and got a beer for Lysle and another for himself. "Janet, who is going to eat all this food? There are only eight of us." Barrett looked at Lysle as he spoke. "Better to have too much than not enough!" snapped Janet. Then she added as an afterthought, "Oh --- I almost forgot." While Barrett was trying to see the logic of having too much food, Janet made a general announcement. "As you all know I've been doing some volunteer work at the Methodist Church library the past two years." Who cares? Barrett was careful not to verbalize his thoughts. "And," continued Janet, "I recently I met this very nice young lady. She works full time at the library and she is relatively new in the area. She is rather shy and --- "Janet," asked Barrett, "is there a point to all of this?" "Yes!" she snapped. Then she paused and took a deep breath. "As I was saying --- " Janet threw a quick fiery glance at Barrett, then directed the rest of her conversation to everyone in the room except her husband. "--- her name is Jodi Bartless. I thought it would be a nice gesture to give her an opportunity to meet some new people. So I took it upon myself to invite her over tonight." Then she turned to Barrett smugly. "I didn't think any of you would mind." Nellie, Matthew, and Sara all smiled and nodded. Ralph seemed totally bored and looked like he wanted another drink. Get it your-self, asshole! Ronni and Lysle were staring at the floor. "You invited nine people to play bridge?" Barrett was mortified. "I thought it would be a nice gesture." Janet spoke to Sara. "After all, it's only social bridge." "I think it will be okay." said Nellie. Mint just nodded. You would! And who asked you anyway? "You invited over an odd number of people?" "So what?" Janet picked up a cracker and dipped it into the chopped liver. "How can nine people play bridge?" Barrett and Lysle looked at each other. They both knew they had to accept the situation for what it was. Total bullshit! "I don't think that is important --- is it?" She walked closer to Barrett. Their noses were almost touching. "What is important is that we are all together sharing that special camaraderie." Then she popped a cheese puff into her mouth and went back to the kitchen. Barrett stood there dumbfounded. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Nellie, Ronni, and Sara began to set up the card tables. Mint was still devouring his wife's chopped liver and Ralph was holding up his glass in a feeble attempt to get his host's attention. Barrett stood back near the kitchen, his arms folded, as he watched the scenario in the living room begin to unfold: Pathetic, meaningless, hypocritical, and in a most bizarre way --- amusing. He was in his own home and wondered why he was here. What was the purpose of this sham? No one spoke to the Mintons. Ralph only wanted to make it with Ronni and couldn't care less about Sara. Sara and Ronni only tolerated each other. Lysle could not stand Ralph and was here only because of Barrett. And to top it off, he and Janet were on the verge of an all out war! Barrett felt trapped. What would happen, he wondered, if everyone knew about the upcoming confrontation? Would they really care? What would they say? What would they do? Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn! Janet suddenly exploded out of the kitchen and bounded up to him. Her voice was shaky and barely audible. "Damn it anyway! Do you think you could be a little more pleasant and at least act concerned?" Her breath reeked from chopped liver. As she got her face closer, the smell became more pungent. The acrobatic intes-tine returned for an encore. "I am not in the least interested in how you feel. Just try and pretend that you're a host --- if that isn't ask-ing too much!" Barrett pasted on a smile to match Janet's. All the guests would think that he and his wife had a friendly chat. Janet finally walked away leaving Barrett to inhale the fumes left by her wrath. Fuck you too, Janet! Just wait until later! "Okay." chirped Barrett, having resigned himself to a lost cause. He would ' play the game' until his moment of truth. Then they would 'play Barrett's game'. "Any refills?" Only Ralph Sharkey spoke up. "I will have another Cutty Sark --- neat!" He handed his glass to Barrett. "Of course, Ralph." Asshole! As he was in the kitchen pouring Ralph's drink, he heard him say loudly, "Hey, Janet. Where's my scotch? Your husband has got to be the world's worst bartender." Then he laughed. Ralph wanted to embarrass him. So he made sure everyone heard the austere re-mark --- especially Barrett! Now the eye doctor was truly enraged. He wanted to literally kill Ralph Sharkey! His vindictive thoughts were interrupted as Janet stormed into the kitchen. Her face was beet red. "Mint wants another coke and Lysle wants another beer." "Okay. Here's Mint's coke and --- " He reached behind him " --- here's Lysle's beer. Anyone else?" "Yes! Where on earth is Ralph's drink?" "First of all --- I couldn't find the fucking bottle. Someone put it away." Barrett stood up and slammed the glass on the counter. "And second of all --- I've had enough of entertaining that cock-sucker!" Barrett had inadvertently raised his voice until it cracked. "Shhh --- Barrett --- please!" Janet was livid. "If Ralph Sharkey doesn't like the way I tend bar, then let him fix his own fucking drink!" Barrett was beginning to feel the effects of his fourth beer. "Damn it, Barrett! Keep your voice down. They can hear you!" "Well, let 'em! I really don't give a shit! Maybe I need to drink more often. "Well, I do!" She walked closer to her husband. Her lips were tight and her teeth were clenched. "You are acting like an ass!" "Too fucking bad!" He picked up the tray with the drinks and handed it to Janet. "You take them their damn drinks. When I calm down --- if I calm down, I'll be out." She took the tray, paused, and glared at her husband for several seconds before storming out of the kitchen. After a few deep breaths and a cold glass of water, Barrett felt he was ready to join in and be a part of what he considered the ulti-mate in structured hypocrisy. "Hey, Barrett. You okay?" asked Lysle sympathetically. "I'm fine, Lysle. Terrific. Never better!" "Well, you look kinda --- flushed. And I have to admit you don't sound too convincing." "No, honestly. I'm okay." Barrett put his hand gently on Lysle's shoulder. He knew that Lysle was the only one in the room that cared. "Thanks for asking though." "Hey. Think nothing of it." "Okay, everyone. Time for bridge." said Janet merrily as she strutted about the room, phoniness pouring out of every inch of her body. Barrett loathed her existence as she was loving every minute of center stage, explaining all the rules --- as one would to a first grader. Barrett was offended by her demeaning approach and pompous air. Lysle seemed amused by it. The others couldn't have cared less. "I have put all our names on separate pieces of paper." Janet con-tinued to strut. "We will pick our partners this way." She mixed the slips around with her hand. "Okay, Barrett. The host goes first." Barrett intentionally hesitated as everyone watched and waited. "Please pick a name!" Janet continued with a fake smile and spoke through clenched teeth. "Now!" She pushed the jar at her un-cooperative husband. "Aren't you going to wait for --- what's her name --- Jodi?" he asked smugly. "She can just fill in when she gets here." said Sara assuredly. "We'll take turns." Nellie added. Right! And a good fucking time will be had by all! Again Barrett kept his thoughts private. Barrett, having felt that he had briefly upset his wife's elaborate game plan, finally took a slip of paper from the jar. His eyes felt frozen to the name he had drawn, as he stared in disbelief. "Ralph Sharkey!" He didn't look up. He didn't have to look up to know how Ralph felt. There was no doubt at all in Barrett's mind that Ralph Sharkey wanted Ronni Richardson for a partner. Tough shit, Ralph! As it turned out, Lysle and Sara would be their opponents. At the other table, Janet and Mint would play opposite Nellie and Ronni. After an hour of uneventful hands at both tables and more table talk than actual playing, Barrett Jessop was dealt what he would describe as the biggest hand he had ever held in his entire life: Twenty-seven points and six diamonds --- ace high! Barrett suddenly became seized and obsessed with power. He would make a grand slam and be the hero of the night. He would be the center of attention and the envy of everyone. All eyes would be upon him as he forged ahead to conquer the immediate world around him. And he would shove Janet's fucking bridge party down her fucking throat! He could feel his pulse begin to race. "Two diamonds!" Barrett said it proudly and defiantly. Lysle passed as he had hoped, and then Ralph passed. Barrett's mouth dropped open as he glared at his partner. "I said two diamonds!" Barrett was careful to emphasize the word 'two'. Ralph merely shrugged. "So?" Barrett leaned in toward him "What do you mean --- so?" Now Ralph leaned in. "What do you mean --- what do I mean?" "Gentlemen!" Lysle put his hands up in an effort to restore peace. "Come on, you guys. No table talk." Sara pointed her finger play-fully, trying to do the same thing. "And besides, Barrett, Ralph has already passed." Barrett and Ralph had locked eyes. But Barrett was undaunted in seeking his own moment of glory. His day in the sun. And he was not about to let Ralph Sharkey spoil it for him. "Ralph!" Barrett spoke quietly but firmly. "You can't pass!" "Who says?" Ralph was talking louder. "I says! That's who!" Barrett raised his voice to match Ralph's. They were still eye to eye. "I got a lousy hand, so I passed." Ralph laid his cards down face up. Lysle started to intervene but Barrett went on "You can't pass, Goddamn it! Two is a demand bid!" "A --- what bid?" he asked innocently. " A DEMAND BID! YOU DUMB FUCK!" "Hey! You watch your mouth, Jessop!" roared Ralph. The four people at the other table, which was only five feet away, became very quiet. The Mintons acted as if everything was normal. Ronni Richardson seemed amused by it all. But Janet was visibly seething. "Okay, you two. Enough already." said Lysle. "It's only a game. This is not brain surgery. Lighten up." He and Sara exchanged a brief glance. "And besides," added Sara, noticeably upset at how Barrett spoke to her husband, "there is entirely too much table talk!" Then she looked away. Ralph slowly picked up his cards as he and Barrett continued to glare at each other, their faces only inches apart. "Maybe we should review the bidding --- calmly." said Sara. When she saw Lysle put down his cards and cover his face with his hands, she realized that maybe it was the wrong thing to say. "Sure. Why not?" Barrett stood up. He glanced quickly at his hand. "I opened with two diamonds. Lysle passed. Then shithead passed --- " "Hey!" Ralph stood to face Barrett. "I said my hand was bad, so I passed." He narrowed his eyes and tightened his lips. "I refuse to take any more of your crap! And I told you to watch your mouth!" Their faces were beet red and they were both breathing heavily. Then after a two second silence, both men slowly sat down. As Ralph sat, he said very quietly, "big deal." Ralph's nonchalant tone plus the words he used served as fuel to Barrett's raging inferno. And since his bid for immediate fame had been squelched, he felt he had nothing more to lose. His temper once again took control. "It is a big deal, Goddamn it! When your stupid fucking partner can't FUCKING PLAY BRIDGE!" Sara threw down her cards in disgust and angrily walked away from the table. Then Lysle got up and walked over to Ronni where they exchanged some very quiet words. The Mintons continued to act as if nothing had happened. Janet walked slowly and sternly up to Barrett, and ignoring Ralph said softly, "That is enough, Barrett! We will discuss it later!" Then she turned to the others with her big fake smile and said cheerfully, "Why don't we tally up our scores." No one responded and she continued nervously, "I made a deli-cious coffee cake --- from scratch." She cleared her throat. "We can all --- " "Well," interrupted Nellie, "ah --- Mint and I are --- a bit tired." Matthew nodded. "We --- ah --- have to get up early tomorrow for --- inventory." Matthew nodded again. "So, I think we'll be --- go-ing." The Mintons then left hurriedly. And Ralph Sharkey, who spoke to no one, nodded to Janet. Then he put his hands in his pockets and was quickly out the door, im-mediately behind the Mintons. "I --- we have to go." said Sara wearily. "I --- I'm sorry --- " Janet spoke to Sara but her impassioned gaze was aimed at her husband. Ronni walked over to Barrett, who was off by himself in the fam-ily room --- his family room, watching the TV that was not yet turned on. "Barrett, you really shouldn't take this silly game so damn seriously." She said it very playfully. "That's not the point!" Janet stood in the doorway, her arms folded, still glaring at her husband. "You are our guests. And Bar-rett had no right to act the way he did. His manners were outra-geous!" "Don't be too hard on him, Janet." Lysle sat on the arm of the chair next to Barrett. He had a wide grin on his face. "I remember a few years ago getting stuck with Ralph. What he did tonight was nothing! With me he actually trumped my ace! Trumped his own partner's ace. Can you believe it?" "You betcha!" said Barrett still looking at the silent TV. "Look. We all know Ralph Sharkey can't play bridge worth a shit. Try not to let it get to you." He cast a quick peek at Janet and Ronni with their own private conversation at the front door. Then he continued quietly, "I always take these --- so called --- bridge parties lightly." And he lowered his voice even more. "Hell, you don't come to these things to play serious bridge. Forget it! It's not worth it!" Barrett knew Lysle was right. But all he could see was his mo-ment of glory vanish. His chance to be a hero was gone --- probably forever. "We really do have to go." said Ronni as she opened the door. "It's after eleven." "So long." said Lysle winking at Barrett. Then they both gave Janet a hug and left. Janet and Barrett were now alone, standing in the entryway --- both silent, their eyes focused in opposite directions. Neither seemed anxious to speak. Barrett was suddenly aware of the still-ness that enveloped both him and the house. He could hear the creaks and the pops. He could hear the wind blowing outside. He heard a dog barking from somewhere far away. He didn't remember any of these noises. Were they new? He was certain they were not. It was a strange sort of quietness --- almost eerie in nature. Maybe it was the calm before the storm. Barrett wasn't disappointed when Janet broke the spell, the shrill sound of her piercing voice echoing throughout every corner of the house. "Well, I hope you're satisfied!" "Look, Janet --- " "No! You look!" Her teeth were clenched tighter than ever as she took quick rasping breaths. "I asked you --- practically begged you to try and be a pleasant host tonight. To be civil. To be polite. But no! Not you! You would rather act like --- like a HORSE'S ASS!" "Ralph was --- " "And don't tell me about Ralph and your stupid bridge hand!" Janet interrupted. "You ruined a nice party tonight with your foul mouth and rotten temper!" Barrett did not respond. She was obvi-ously not going to let him get a word in anyway. His gaze was back to the silent TV. "I was so damned embarrassed --- mostly for you." "For me?" Barrett could feel the effects of the beers wearing off. Janet was once again in control. He had so much to say but was un-able to say it. He had so much to vent but was unable to do it. There was no doubt in his mind. He definitely had to drink more of-ten! "Yes! For you! How dare you?" She began to pick up the dirty dishes. "What is wrong with you anyway?" You! That's what's wrong! "There is nothing wrong with me." Nothing that four more beers won't cure! He knew he had no problem mouthing off to Ralph. He had no problem talking back to the Mintons. He had no problem standing up to his patients. But with Janet, he suddenly felt himself become mute. Now he won-dered if Janet was right. Maybe he had overreacted to Ralph. God, I hate it when she's right! "You know that besides you and Lysle," continued Janet still an-gry but more subdued, "none of us are very good at bridge." None of you are even mediocre at bridge! "So I would expect you to take that into account --- especially when you are the host!" She took another tray of dishes into the kitchen. "Okay, Janet. Okay!" Barrett was leaning against the wall watch-ing his wife work. Maybe I'm not quite ready for this showdown after all! "No it's not okay!" She turned back to Barrett. Her face was taught and her eyes were like ice. "I think you owe each one of our guests an apology." "Fine." He knew he was beaten again. "I'll call everyone tomor-row --- including asshole Ralph!" "Especially Ralph! And don't call him names. He isn't one of my favorite people either. But Sara is a close friend and I know she was very upset tonight." Janet continued to go back and forth be-tween the kitchen and the living room. Barrett continued to watch. Upset? Big fucking deal! How about me and my twenty-seven points? "Okay. I said I would call. Now, can we just drop it?" Shit! "Yes, I suppose we can. Now." Janet said it matter-of-factly. Coldly! Almost as a voice over for a documentary. Barrett felt he had had enough for one night. The big confronta-tion would have to wait. He was too tired --- both mentally and physically. He thought he was ready but --- "Your ninth guest didn't show up." He blurted it out even though he knew he couldn't have cared less. "Nope. I guess not." Janet began to wash the dirty dishes. She had not even changed her clothes yet. "Well, it's okay with me." Barrett added passively. "I'm not inter-ested in meeting new people." He again wondered, as he did earlier in the evening, why he was having this inane conversation. "What about me?" snapped Janet. "Maybe I am!" She continued to focus her attention on the dishes. "Fine. You go ahead and be the world's leading social director. Just leave me out of it." He started up the stairs slowly. "Believe me, you don't have to worry. Not after tonight!" Janet had finished with the dishes and now straightened the chairs, then arranged them around the table symmetrically. She was still not looking at her husband. "Anyway, it's all academic. Because it looks like she's not coming." Her gaze was directed at the center of the table and her tone was unemotional.
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