No Team To Root For (5)
VI For the Jessops, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day had come and gone uneventfully, and the rest of 1988 seemed to fly by rap-idly, taking a very brutal winter with it. The snowfall measured nearly four feet and the average temperature was in the low twen-ties. On February second a major snowstorm blanketed the entire midwest closing scores of schools and businesses in its wake. On February third Barrett and Janet Jessop had sex for the first time in over a year. It happened at 2:00 am when Barrett climbed into Janet's bed without thinking and with abandon, put his hand be-tween her legs. There was no resistance. He held it there for several seconds, rubbing her gently. Then she slowly turned onto her side facing her husband in the dimly lit room. Their stomachs touched and their faces were so close he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He undid his pajamas and slid her panties down to her ankles. Still there was no resistance. He got on top of her and began to fondle her breasts as he eased himself into her. The sex was brief but rousing. Afterwards, they rolled back onto their sides still holding each other. Then Janet gently pushed Barrett away and rolled onto her back. "Well --- " Barrett spoke after a long silence. "--- that certainly was spontaneous --- wasn't it?" Janet did not respond. Barrett continued. "Did you like that part of it? I mean the spontaneity." Barrett cleared his throat. "I sort of --- liked it." Janet's breathing was getting quieter. Barrett went on. "Normally I don't like quickies, but --- " He laughed nervously. "Do you like them --- quickies, that is?" Janet remained silent. Barrett kept up his one-way conversation. "I suppose --- a quickie is better than --- nothing. Although --- " "Shut up, Barrett!" Janet roared unexpectedly as she pulled up her panties. "As far as I'm concerned, what just happened was a mistake!" She pulled the sheet up to her neck. Barrett sat up and looked at his wife. His mouth was suddenly dry. He had trouble getting the words out. "A --- a mistake? How can you say such a thing?" He made no effort to hide his pain. Janet sat up and put her face in her hands. "You have all of these --- false illusions, and --- unattainable expectations." Her breathing was quiet and rapid. Barrett put his pajamas back on and turned slowly to his wife. "But I thought --- "Please! Do us both a favor and don't think!" Then Janet lowered her voice. "The relationship--- that part of it, just --- isn't the same anymore, Barrett. I'm sorry." Barrett licked his lips. "I see. So we didn't make love just now, did we? We only had sex." He laughed nervously again. "And there is a difference. A big difference!" Then after another long silence, they both sat on the edge of the bed staring into each other's vacant eyes. Barrett knew at that mo-ment it was over! He no longer loved his wife and he had to quit ly-ing to himself. He felt deep down that he had held on as long as humanly possible. And now it was time to let go. Anxiety and indif-ference would replace contentment and concern. And apathy would once again set the mood. He got up quickly and quietly went into his own bed. He knew his wife would soon be fast asleep. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. "After all," he continued to think. "Janet is not even re-motely interested in any sort of a reconciliation --- not even a friendly truce! So why should I be? And since things are obviously never going to improve, why the hell should I bother? I'm tired of batting my head against a stone wall! It would be better for all concerned to end the fucking marriage! A clean break! Enough is enough! I tried and I failed. No regrets! No guilt! No future! Thanks but no thanks!" * VII The snow finally melted, the flowers began to blossom, the trees began to bloom, and the baseballs began to fly. April had arrived! During the first week of an unusually dry month, in the midst of all the erratic feelings that emanated from the Jesssop household, and in spite of an unyielding and frustrating set of circumstances, Janet decided to have a bridge party. I thought canasta was her game. Barrett couldn't believe it! "You what!" Barrett was standing by the family room entrance to the kitchen. Janet was re-organizing the pantry and had her back to him. "You heard me!" She spoke to the cans on the shelf rather than to Barrett. "Most of the people you invite to these --- these social hypocri-sies don't know how many cards there are in a deck." Barrett spoke to the back of his wife's head. "And you want to have a bridge party?" "Leave me alone!" Janet still had not turned around. This is unbelievable! I'm trying to find a way to end the marriage and we're going to host a fucking bridge party! Barrett always found these get-togethers and these parties the epitome of boredom, referring to them as 'social hypocrisies'. He could never understand the logic of inviting people you hardly knew to come to one of your dull parties simply because they had invited you to one of their dull parties. So when it came to social etiquette, Barrett Jessop made up his own rules. And they were always inten-tionally opposite to the accepted norms. He thought back to the last two theme parties given by Janet. One was close to five years ago, as he remembered it. Everyone was supposed to be dressed in black and white. But less than half of the people complied with Janet's wishes. And most of them, including Barrett and Janet, were dressed as nuns or priests. All the rest wore street clothes with no regard of the required color scheme. Every-one Barrett spoke to called the evening 'stupid'. What a fiasco! It was about two years later, as he remembered it, that Janet planned her next disastrous affair. 'An evening of charades' as she would describe it. Barrett kept telling her, "No one but you knows how to play this stupid fucking game!" "So they will learn." was her smug reply. As it turned out, most of the dull evening was spent teaching people how to play a game they did not understand and engaging in an activity they were not interested in. The evening, as Barrett re-membered it, progressed with the men quickly losing interest. The women were being good sports, but the men slowly migrated into the family room to watch the OSU-Iowa basketball game. The men, as Barrett remembered it, all ended up having a great time watching an exciting basketball game that OSU won in double overtime. The women were irate at the rebellious anti-social behavior of their husbands. How dare they not mix! It was three months before all of the women were speaking to all of the men --- as Barrett re-membered it. Regarding Janet's latest endeavor, Barrett knew he would be stuck playing host. It wouldn't be the first time. He also knew it was better to give in to this phony position than to be argumentative about it --- at least for now. He'd try and make an unbearable situation as easy on himself as possible --- even if it meant engaging in idle chatter with Janet. But when this pathetic social hypocrisy was over, he knew that a major confrontation with his wife was inevitable. And he would be ready! "Tell me again who you invited to this --- 'Let's see who the dumbest bridge player is' --- extravaganza." Barrett said smirking. "The Richardsons, the Mintons, and the Sharkeys. And don't be a smartass!" She moved the tray to the edge of the table. Barrett would not be dissuaded from making more meaningless small talk as he watched Janet make what he would describe as ugly little cheese filled hors d'oeurves that he knew he would never eat. "I know Sara Sharkey is your friend and I do admit she is very sweet." He walked up to the table and stared at the hors d'oeuvres. "Thank you." Janet moved the tray back to the center of the table. Barrett knew Janet was placating him so he would be a 'gracious' host. But for some strange reason he felt like talking. Maybe, he thought, it was a sort of psychological preparation for the big showdown! "But Ralph Sharkey is the biggest asshole I know!" "Barrett, please! "No. I take that back. To call Ralph an asshole would be an insult to assholes!" Janet didn't respond. She just shook her head and turned back to the table. He watched in amazement as Janet arranged the hors d'oeurves symmetrically on the tray. Barrett walked away from the table to the kitchen entrance. From there, he continued. "No matter what you know, he knows more. No matter what you have, he has one better. He drove an Olds Ninety-eight for years. He said he would never drive anything but an Olds. What a great car! So I bought an Olds --- remember? I traded in the Chevy Caprice. All of a sudden, mister big shot Ralph is driving a Cadillac Deville. 'Boy,' he says, 'this caddy is the best car I ever had. Much better than that crummy Olds!'" "I remember. So what!" Janet was studying the hors d'oeuvres and answered mechanically. "So," continued Barrett, "his Olds was okay as long as I had a Chevy. But Ralph always has to go you one better." He looked briefly at the tray then back at Janet. "How about we invite Sara and tell her to leave her asshole husband at home." "Barrett, please!" This time she stopped and looked him in the eye. "It's no big deal --- really!" Then she turned her attention to cleaning the stove. The angrier Janet got, the harder she scrubbed. Barrett found it amusing. He kept his laughter to himself. However, he could feel another heated argument about to present itself and he felt he wasn't quite mentally prepared for it yet. Al-most, but not quite! The brief conversation was over as he once again let his wife have the last word. Then he slowly walked away into the family room --- his family room! Barrett continued to ruminate about the guest list. He could not figure how the Mintons deserved an invitation. How did they fit into this grandiose structure? Nellie and Matthew were both phar-macists. They owned the drug store and the attached supermarket on Miller Avenue. It was common knowledge that they did very well but lived very modestly. It was also common knowledge that they were both very intelligent, but very quiet. They were two of the most boring people he knew. They had two sons in pharmacy college at Michigan Uni-versity. They were also very intelligent --- and very boring. Barrett always maintained that after 'hello' the conversation with Matthew Minton was over. If asked why his wife invited them, his answer would be 'because no one else does!' Barrett did admit he was glad Janet invited the Richardsons. Lysle Richardson was Barrett's best friend. He was five years older than Barrett and semi-retired, down to fifteen or twenty hours a week. This year he would be taking his son into his thriving dental prac-tice. Ronni and Lysle Richardson seemed to Barrett to be the 'per-fect couple'. They went wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted, doing whatever they felt like doing. And they did it to-gether. And Lysle also thought Ralph Sharkey was an asshole! Barrett looked at the calendar and shook his head disgustedly. Janet's bridge party was less than a week away. And although Bar-rett was unaware of it, the event would change his life forever! * Barrett Jessop walked leisurely into his family room, determined to stay out of his wife's way as she prepared for her 'Saturday night special'. He could picture her trying her damnedest to be the 'per-fect' hostess. Phony as hell, but perfect! Unlike her marriage, thought Barrett, she would go out of her way, circumventing sin-cerity if necessary, in an effort to make a lost evening a smashing success. Right! Just as he sat down, Janet yelled from the kitchen. "We need liq-uor." "We have liquor." Barrett said as he turned on the TV. "We're out of Cutty Sark." She continued to yell. "And Ralph likes Cutty Sark." "Fuck Ralph! This party is not in his honor!" Barrett turned off the TV. He knew he would have to get the Cutty Sark. "Look, Barrett!" Janet stormed into the family room --- one of her rare visits. "You're beginning to get on my nerves. I expect you to act like a host tomorrow night!" She walked closer to her hus-band. "Get the liquor!" Barrett got up slowly from his favorite chair. Janet's face was flushed and her eyes were slits. He paused for a second then headed for the front door. As he opened the door, he looked back. Janet was still glaring at him. He said nothing. The familiar silence once again consumed the house. He opened the door and stifled a grin. "He who laughs last --- " Barrett slammed the door shut behind him. VIII The first couple to arrive, twenty minutes early, at the Jessop household was Matthew and Nellie Minton. Barrett sensed that they would be early, knowing they probably had nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. Nellie walked in with a covered dish, and after a friendly nod to her host, she went directly into the kitchen. Barrett followed her and watched her put the large yellow glass bowl next to Janet's hors d'oeurves. I hope it's not chopped liver like she brought last time. I fucking hate chopped liver! I refuse to eat anything that looks like diarrhea! Barrett turned away from the kitchen and immediately came face to face with Matthew Minton. "Hello, Barrett." "Hello, Mint." No one called him Matthew. "How are you, Barrett?" Mint began to rock on his heels. "Fine, Mint. And you?" Barrett forced a smile. "Fine." Mint stopped rocking. There was a long silence. "Business good?" Barrett knew he was running out of topics. "Oh yeah. Real good." He cleared his throat. "It's usually good this time of year --- allergy season and all. "That's great, Mint." He turned to the kitchen for help. He got none. He turned back to Matthew. "That's really great." There was another long pause. Mint cleared his throat again. "Nice day today." "Yes. Nice. Very nice." This is ridiculous! There was more silence except for the chattering in the kitchen. He knew he had to break the silence and change the course of the dead conversation. "How about a drink, Mint?" After a brief thought, Mint said, "Well --- maybe a coke. Not diet. Not caffeine free. Classic! I want the real stuff!" Then he folded his arms triumphantly. Mint was dead serious! "Hey, Mint. That's gutsy. Real gutsy!" Then he gave the druggist a friendly hit on the arm. "Think you can handle it? Don't forget, you have to drive home later." Leave now, Mint. I promise I won't get mad! "Oh, I don't think --- " Barrett could sense that Mint was going to defend his driving un-der the influence of Coca Cola. "That's a joke, Mint." Mint narrowed his eyelids, then nodded. "Oh." Barrett shook his head in disbelief. Then he left Mint and went into the kitchen for his coke. He took the drink out of the refrigera-tor, then stopped when he saw Nellie spoon out the contents of her dish into a crystal serving bowl. "Hello, Barrett. Would you like some chopped liver?" Yeah! Right! "No. I --- I don't think so." Barrett's stomach did a triple somersault. Janet was taking out some silverware and never looked up. "So, Nellie. How are you?" He knew it was a mistake as soon as he asked the question. "Well, I've had this dull ache over my right eye all day." Then she walked up to her host. "I have been taking decongestants and aspi-rins. Isn't that right, Mint?" "Uh huh." said Mint as he slowly migrated into the kitchen. "What do you think, Barrett?" Nellie did not wait for an answer. "And yesterday I bumped my toe. This one here on my left foot." Nellie raised her leg and removed her shoe. "There --- you see it?" Barrett wondered why she would wear support hose and orthope-dic shoes. But he would never ask! Nellie continued. "I bumped it on the kitchen table leg. I remember telling Mint that the table was too far out and someone would bump their toe. I never dreamt it would be me. Isn't that right, Mint?" Barrett reached into the cooler and took a bottle of beer. "Uh huh." Mint had his hands in his pockets and was leaning against the door. "Here, Nellie." Janet put another empty bowl next to the chopped liver. "You can empty the rest of the liver in this." Nellie put her shoe back on, smashing the back of it as she did so. Then she poured and spooned the rest of her dish into the empty bowl. "Barrett, are you sure you won't have any chopped liver?" "No, Nellie." Jesus Christ! No wonder Mint has nothing to say! There was a brief moment of silence. It was just enough to give Barrett a chance to escape. Nellie or Mint. What a choice! "Here, Mint. Here's your coke." As he was handing Mint his drink, the doorbell rang. Saved by the bell! "I'll get it." Barrett literally ran to the front door to greet Sara and Ralph Sharkey. Barrett and Sara exchanged an affectionate hug. Ralph and Barrett exchanged a cool and limp handshake. But as much as he disliked Ralph, Barrett had to admit that the man was an excel-lent dresser. He was wearing a double breasted all silk gray Italian suit, an off white shirt that was an Armani original, and black loafers that Bar-rett had seen in the window of an exclusive men's store priced at three-hundred-fifty dollars. "Janet and Nellie are in the kitchen." said Barrett, stuck between Ralph Sharkey and Matthew Minton. "So how are you, Mint?" Ralph walked toward Mint and Barrett walked to the other end of the family room, grateful for his tempo-rary solitude and reprieve. "Fine, Ralph. How are you?" "Fine." answered Ralph listlessly. "That's good." Mint began to rock on his heels again. Ralph looked at Barrett, then back to the kitchen. Then he turned to Mint again and asked absently, "Business good?" "Oh yes." answered Mint. "It's usually good this time of year." Barrett could not have been more pleased than to see Ralph get stuck with Mint. But, thought Barrett, it was time to play host. "What can I get you to drink, Ralph?" He was getting tired of the conversation anyway. He had already heard it once today. And once was enough! "Nothing just yet." said Ralph. "You do have Cutty Sark of course." "Of course." Asshole! "How about you, Mint? Want another coke?" Like I really care! "No. I do know my limitations." Matthew put his hands behind his back. "You can take the empty can if you like." Barrett walked up to the pharmacist and said softly, "That's good you know your limitations. I'll get the can later." "Hey, Barrett. Who else is coming?" asked Ralph. "As far as I know, the only other couple invited are the Richard-sons." Barrett answered absently and as phony as he had to be. And he knew that tonight he definitely had to be phony. Ralph came closer to Barrett until their faces were about three inches apart. Then he whispered, "Wouldn't you like to fuck Ronni Richardson?" Ralph had a wide smirk on his face that Barrett was dying to smash in. "No! "Barrett spoke defensively. "Lysle is my best friend. And besides, he and Ronni have a terrific marriage. I am certain that nei-ther one of them would ever consider having outside sex." Barrett was having a tough time keeping his voice down. "So your per-verted thoughts are a waste of time!" "Hey --- relax! I was only kidding." Ralph took two steps back. "And since when is fucking a perversion?" Now Ralph had raised his voice. "Fucking is not a perversion." Barrett raised his voice to match Ralph's. "But fucking your best friend's wife is!" Then he added softly, "And I know you weren't kidding!" The noise brought Janet out of the kitchen. "What are you two arguing about?" She looked only at her husband. And the look was hostile. She put the tray of the ugly little cheese filled hors d'oeurves on the table as she spoke, never taking her eyes off Bar-rett. "Nothing. Nothing at all." Barrett answered as he opened his beer and ran his palm over the top of the bottle. "The rest of the appetizers will be ready in a minute." Janet glared at her husband then walked back to the kitchen. Barrett looked at the appetizer tray. Ugly little cheese filled hors d'oeurves or diarrhea. Another grand choice! "Well." Ralph inched closer to Barrett. "I guess I don't feel as close to Lysle as you do." The smirk returned. "Actually, I don't feel close to Lysle at all. And besides that, I think he's a lousy den-tist." He picked up a cheese puff and looked at it. "I go to a guy in Gerald who forgot more about dentistry than Lysle will ever know!" "Au contraire." said Barrett, taking a sip of beer. "Oh --- what?" asked a puzzled Ralph Sharkey. "Au --- it means you're full of crap! Lysle is an excellent dentist. You don't build up a tremendous practice unless you are good!" Barrett knew that Lysle would defend his skills as an optometrist if the situation were reversed. "Fine, Barrett. Fine! You have your opinions and I have mine." Ralph put the cheese puff back on the tray. "What the hell are these things?" He spoke quietly to the tray. "Ralph, why don't you admit it? You're pissed off because Lysle doesn't use you for an insurance agent --- any more than I do!" Bar-rett took another sip of his beer. "Let me tell you something, Jessop!" Ralph pointed his finger at Barrett. "I don't need his lousy business! And I don't need your lousy business!" Then he added smugly, "As a matter of fact, I'm not even accepting new clients."
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Copyright © 1997 B J Bloch |