Perceptions (10) ‘How about a letter to my family? Can I use a pen to write a letter?’ Both ghosts glanced at each other then at me. ‘Don’t tell me. You never thought about it. You have all the time in the world and what do you guys do with it?’ ‘We’re ghosts,’ Roy lamented. ‘We’re not supposed to think.’ ‘Let’s give it a go. Anybody got a pen or pencil?’ ‘Let me just look in my pockets,’ Roy said, with a large slice of sarcasm. ‘Er, no, I’m fresh out of pencils.’ ‘There are offices around,’ I said, wishing I could smack him on the nose. It didn’t take long to locate an office with some handy writing materials. We stood over the desk, the three of us and stared down at the paper and a pen. ‘Who wants to take the first shot?’ Roy asked. ‘You try,’ Sammy said. ‘Why me?’ ‘Christ, will one of you pick up the bloody pen!’ I fumed. ‘All right, all right,’ Roy said, using his hands like brakes. ‘I’ll go first.’ ‘Ok.’ We stared at the pen. It remained stationary. ‘Nothing’s happening,’ I pointed out. ‘I haven’t started yet. Have some patience. I’m thinking about it. It’s tricky.’ My frown prompted him on. ‘Okay, I see the pen. It’s movin’. It’s movin’. ‘That’s all it’s doing,’ I said. ‘Hey!’ The pen was standing. ‘Write something!’ ‘Like?’ ‘Your name. Anything!’ The pen hovered over and onto the piece of paper. It started to write. ‘What language is that?’ asked Sammy, peering closely. ‘It’s English!’ Roy growled. ‘Is that your name?’ ‘Well, it ain’t easy.’ ‘Let me try.’ Sammy looked at Roy with some disgust. ‘I’ve seen babies write more legibly.’ ‘It wasn’t bad for my first attempt!’ ‘Go and practice in the corner. I’m going to try it now.’ The pen had fallen on the paper. Roy picked it up again with ease. It started to write an ‘S’. We watched as something of a blind man’s scrawl began to appear on the white sheet. ‘I’m not the only one who can’t write,’ mumbled Roy, happily. A curt scream from behind us resulted with Sammy losing his concentration, and the pen shot towards the voice like a missile. We followed it with our eyes as it struck a female doctor on the chest and she departed in non-surprising haste, taking her fright with her. ‘Nice one, Sammy,’ Roy chuckled. ‘Who else are ya goin’ to scare to death?’ ‘It wasn’t my fault! How did I know she would be standing there?’ ‘What?’ asked Roy, noticing me standing there with my hands on my hips, glaring icily. ‘That really sums it up. In less than half a day I’ve witnessed just about every stereotypical antic ghosts put people through, and so far I’m not impressed with ghost life. Is this the best we can do, Laurel and Hardy? What’s next? The cream cake gag?’ I stomped out of the room in a huff. ‘Well, it’s a thought,’ Roy said from a distance. ‘It’ll get their attention.’ When I returned to my bedside I found myself alone. The electrocardiogram was maintaining a sole vigil over my unmoving body with its frustrated little white line and show of pretty lights. Outside the room, I checked, Lizzie and my family had departed, maybe for home or the local Pizza Hut. In any case there was little they could do and they couldn’t stand around all day inconsolably weeping. So I was truly alone with myself. Not very comforting, I had to admit. It was clear that I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I was on the precipice of death and waiting to be pushed. Even if I could somehow ask someone to smother me with a pillow and put me out of misery, I wasn’t sure if that would remedy the situation. I would be dead, sure, but would I still remain a ghost or would I finally go all the way? Questions, questions; too many questions and not enough answers. ‘Die, dammit!’ I yelled. ‘I can’t stand it any more!’ My eyes homed in on the vase at the window and it flew into the top corner of the opposite wall. I stood aghast. ‘Did I do that?’ I looked around. Nobody else here. ‘I’m a poltergeist! I did it! I did it!’ I danced out of the room, intoxicated with my performance. From the corner of my left eye I noticed a pair of ghosts walk into the corridor via a wall and I turned to greet them. One of them was Sonia. She was strikingly beautiful, fair-haired, and too young to be dead. And so did her friend. ‘Hello,’ I called, and neither of them heard or realised that I was calling them. ‘Sonia!’ This time both girls turned, and suddenly I saw that the girl with Sonia appeared fuzzy, like me! ‘It’s you!’ Sonia cried, veering towards me. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you or Sammy.’ ‘Hi. We never got properly introduced earlier. My name’s Mark. What happened to your friend? She can’t be dead?’ The girl seemed very distressed and agitated. ‘This is Lara. She just came in.’ ‘I can tell,’ I interjected. ‘You’re lying in a coma,’ I said to Lara. ‘What happened?’ Evidently, ghosts couldn’t cry or Lara would have filled the room with tears by the look of her face, but the trauma was written all over her. ‘Some psycho raped and tried to kill her,’ Sonia answered for her. ‘He left her for dead, the bastard. Lara’s body’s in Emergency; they’re fighting to save her life.’ ‘She’s lapsed into a coma - that’s why you were looking for us?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘What are you expecting me to do? I’m in exactly the same condition and I can’t find a way out either.’ ‘Shit. I was hoping you’d have some answers.’ ‘We’re all looking for answers,’ I replied. ‘Even Sammy can’t really help. He thinks that death is the only answer. I’m not so sure.’ ‘I don’t want to die,’ Lara said, beseechingly. ‘I’m too young to die.’ So was Sonia. They looked about the same age, but she wasn’t complaining. ‘Maybe you’ll recover when the doctors’ have stabilised your condition,’ Sonia told her. ‘We’ll have to wait a little while and see.’ ‘The bastard did some horrible things to me before he tried to murder me,’ Lara burbled. ‘Do you know who did it?’ I quizzed her. Sonia scowled at me but seemed eager to know as well. ‘No, but he’s famous. He’s done this before.’ Lara’s jaw was trembling and her eyes searched the floor. ‘What do you mean famous?’ I pressed. ‘He’s a serial killer,’ Lara continued. ‘The police are looking for him.’ Sonia’s eyes were searching my face for assistance. She didn’t know what else to do or say. For that matter, neither did I. ‘Maybe it’s the same guy I read about in the papers recently,’ I said, remembering the TV warnings and media rumblings last month. ‘He’s killed 10 girls up to now. Lara may have been his eleventh victim.’ ‘But she’s not dead. Maybe there’s a chance to catch the shit if Lara can regain consciousness and give them a description. You do know what he looks like, right?’ ‘Very clearly,’ answered Lara, looking up at the pair of us. ‘I can see him in my mind even now.’ ‘Then you have to come out of your coma, Lara,’ I demanded of her. ‘For yourself and his next victim. You must tell the police what you know. If he’s the same guy then you’re the only one he’s failed to finish and you’re their only hope of a firm identification.’ ‘What can we do?’ queried Sonia. ‘Let’s get Lara back to her body and see what the situation is.’ ‘I don’t want to die,’ Lara moaned again. ‘You’re not going to die,’ I responded with firm conviction, even though I didn’t know the full condition she was in. It wasn’t a pretty sight from what I could tell. Surrounded by three desperate doctors who were ably patching up the knife wounds in her chest and stomach, Lara was still breathing and staying alive despite being unconscious. Trauma had obviously set in and I had a better view of it than the doctors thanks to the fact I was standing in the surgery next to Lara’s edgy spirit. She stood away from the drama being played out in front of us. Watching the ordeal from outside her body was probably as bad as suffering the initial attack. Lara could only stand with her back to me waiting for a report. Sonia stayed firmly by her side. Clearly the doctors were fighting a losing battle. Their dialogue told me as much, but I watched closely, craning my head round bodies and shoulders to get a good look. Under normal conditions I would be feeling nauseous given the profusion of blood I was witnessing, but being a ghost seemed to have some advantages in this case. I had no stomach and nothing to bring up, which was a good thing, I supposed. ‘Let’s go and stand outside,’ I said, gazing at Lara’s stricken face. ‘We’re of no use in here.’ Lara was glowing kind of freakishly. Perhaps it had something to do with her current plight. She was nearing death and her condition was fragile at best. If she died would she come all the way over or would she be swallowed up by whatever existence normally came after life’s termination? Somehow this situation might benefit me. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it,’ admitted Sonia. ‘I don’t know what to do.’ Through the wall on the other side a little further down the hall I noticed a couple of tired and agitated men in suits pacing about nervously next to a senior nurse. Detectives, I deduced. Maybe we could learn something. ‘Let’s hear what they have to say,’ I suggested. ‘Lara, can you hear us?’ ‘She doesn’t look right, even for a ghost in a coma,’ Sonia said. ‘Tell me about it,’ I replied. ‘I’m feeling cold,’ Lara muttered, her head bowed forward weakly. ‘How can that be?’ ‘I don’t know,’ Sonia answered. ‘Only those guys in there can do something about it.’ A uniformed policeman joined the trio and I was keen to eavesdrop. ‘Hold on here, will you? I want to hear this.’ At Sonia’s nod, I moved towards the group. ‘The Press are gathering outside, Sir,’ said the uniformed officer. ‘They’re already screaming for news.’ ‘That’s their job, not ours,’ said the shorter of the two detectives.’ ‘There’s nothing we can tell them at this stage,’ the other one added, looking miffed. ‘The girl’s in critical condition and is under-going surgery.’ ‘She’s comatose,’ I offered helpfully, standing amongst them all. ‘As soon as the Doctor comes out we’ll know whether we have a witness or not,’ continued the same detective, and I gathered he was the senior in charge of the investigation. He grimaced. ‘We can only pray at the moment.’ ‘Have they found any of her clothes or belongings yet?’ inquired the junior detective. ‘No, they’re still searching the area,’ the policeman in the uniform answered. ‘The site’s completely cordoned off and the Forensics guys’re doing their thing. It’ll be light in a couple of hours; that’ll help.’ ‘If it’s him again, they won’t find the girl’s clothes. That’ll tell us something.’ ‘I want to interview the TV crew that found her, so hold them until I get there,’ said the senior cop. ‘They were filming the nightlife of the badger - or something? - they said,’ piped in junior. ‘Apparently. They heard screams and went to investigate.’ ‘They must’ve disturbed her attacker in the act. Maybe he had to change his usual habits; couldn’t finish the job, panicked, and knifed her instead?’ ‘Possibly. Dammit, Nurse, what’s going on in there?’ The senior detective was angry and the senior nurse appeared as distraught as the policemen. But none of them looked as bad as Lara. ‘Mark!’ I whirled round. Sonia was calling me. ‘Where’s Lara?’ I noticed immediately she was missing. ‘She’s gone! I was talking to her and she just vanished!’ I returned to Sonia’s side. ‘What did you say to her?’ ‘Nothing that would make her vanish like that! I was only asking her how she was feeling. The next thing I knew I was standing here talking to myself.’ ‘Something must have happened inside!’ With immense apprehension the pair of us wafted back hurriedly into the operating theatre. There was an aura flowing upwards above the table, a phenomena that obviously the doctors were totally oblivious to. The unearthly light emanated directly from Lara’s motionless body. ‘What is it? What’s going?’ ‘I’ve no idea,’ Sonia said, frowning at me. ‘Can you feel it?’ I knew what she was talking about. There was a sublime, invisible force pulling us toward the table, calling to us without sound. Both of us were being gently urged forwards, somehow willed to Lara’s body. ‘I think we should stay away,’ Sonia said, fear creeping into her voice. ‘I don’t know what it is, but we shouldn’t go near it.’ Easier said than done. We were powerless. It was almost as if we were being sucked in. Even as we were drawn nearer, the doctors remained ignorant of the extraordinary manifestation. ‘Mark? I can’t stop. It’s got me.’ ‘Me too!’ I threw out an arm to help Sonia. It was a reflex reaction. Neither of us could be prepared for the shock of actual physical contact. Stunned, we just gaped at each other. ‘What the hell!’ Instinctively I grasped Sonia’s left arm, and realising it wasn’t solving anything I shoved her as hard as I could with both arms against her chest. The look on her face as she flew backward towards the door was the last thing I saw as the force ultimately took its toll on me. My vision failed suddenly, and blackness ensued as I felt a final jolt on my celestial body.
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