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The White Asteroid
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TITLE (EDIT)
The White Asteroid
DESCRIPTION
Space miners make a curious find.
[222 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Science Fiction
AUTHOR
Michael Potter
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lived in El Sobante, Pinole and Point Richmond, currently in the Seattle area.
I make stained glass windows.
[email protected]
[April 2008]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (24)
Again It Begins (Short Stories) Abstract doodle about the end [130 words] [Fantasy]
Alessandro's Unexpected Traverse (Short Stories) A mountain climbing accident results in a modern Gulliver's Travels. [11,857 words] [Science Fiction]
Awake And Bake Finn Again (Short Stories) A comic story of a day in the life of an older man. [4,425 words] [Literary Fiction]
Bach Heartbeats And Don't Be Afraid To Love (Poetry) Two short poems [83 words] [Spiritual]
Camelot’S Troubadours (Short Stories) Utopia meets Euphoria, Political healing in an alternate universe. The Beatles play at JFK's 1965 inaguration. [1,513 words] [Fantasy]
Drunk On Rain (Poetry) Feeling ectascy brought on by rain. [48 words] [Drama]
Goaland Fantasy (Short Stories) A short story about a place where the characters can do anything. [983 words] [Fantasy]
God Force Reverses Time (Short Stories) A short fable about the end of war. [842 words] [Fable]
God, Man, Consciousness, Magic, Science And Alien Inteligence (Essays) An essay on the history of the universe and the origin of god. How and why psychic ability developed and its purpose. The evolution of consciousness from atoms to aliens. [9,701 words] [Mind]
How To Become A Mild Cartoon (Poetry) A poem about being dissatisfied with life yet impotent to change it [44 words] [Mystical]
Life Dance Cycle (Songs) A song poem apeing Ray Davies [276 words]
Mc Zen Mcpoem (Poetry) Short comic poem [18 words] [Humor]
Mickey And Delia (Novels) This is the first 35 or so pages of a 600 page completed novel about a group of teenagers running around the Bay Area in the 1960's. [15,078 words] [Biography]
No Angels Or Devils (Short Stories) A short story about an avenging angel radio play, no angels or devils, just us. [638 words] [Fantasy]
Poem 1968 (Poetry) Short poem about dreaming of a lost love [71 words]
Poems Of Existance (Poetry) Four short poems about internal reality. [179 words] [Mind]
Pooh On Meditation (Short Stories) Short comic satire [135 words] [Humor]
Qz (Short Stories) Short story about an evil government controlling a drug that produces enlightenment. [2,593 words] [Fantasy]
Sweet William And Mary (Songs) Folk song like, somewhere between Pentangle and the Decemberists. [152 words]
Tellus, A Story (Novels) A tale of black helicopters and dead cows being investigated by a reporter. [24,070 words] [Science Fiction]
The Little Gods (Short Stories) A short story fantasy about a young couple who are given a flying saucer. [4,814 words] [Science Fiction]
The Time Junky (Poetry) A poem metaphor regarding time vs life span. [97 words] [Fable]
The Universal Poet (Poetry) Some words on taking your own poetry to seriously. [35 words] [Comedy]
White Vw Rabbit, Grease Slick (Songs) Song parody [118 words] [Humor]
The White Asteroid
Michael Potter

     When they had first spotted the asteroid they were attracted by its gleaming whiteness. They charted the course and went to sleep. When they awoke up in the morning the ship had automatically flown to the asteroid and landed. They spent a few hours examining the peculiar huge white plain they were on. The asteroid was roughly cubicle or round, about 25 miles in diameter.
     The plain they stood on was hard and white and stretched far around them. Doctor Ellridge took some samples and they walked back to the ship. He had made a few tests to evaluate the material when he suggested that they move on to a new asteroid of a more valuable substance than bone, as he had found little else in his tests.
     They left a few hours later and the doctor watched the asteroid as they lifted away from it. The plain they had been on grew smaller until they could see its dimensions, roughly rectangular. At the top was a white ridge at either side was a small gap and another plain and at the bottom was empty space. It began to look like a tooth then a series of teeth, and before they were five miles away they could see the outlines of the huge skull they had been on without the lower jaw.

      

 

READER'S REVIEWS (3)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.

"OOOh, what a neat tale! I like this story very much! my only criticism is that the last line is a little hard to understand... Perhaps something to the effect of "... and before they were five miles away they could see an outline of an enormous skull, and the lower jaw, from which they had risen." Still, the overall presentation was very nice! Keep writing! " -- Halle, Oregon.
"this is a surreal tale and I enjoyed it. To make the enjoyment better for the reader you might consider adding in those pieces of dialogue, the ones that tell us in words what is happening.Try using a piece of action folowed by dialogue and then action. That sort of thing. Also be specially careful of saing things twice. Make an attempt to combine details of two sentences within one sentence. When tension arises because of drama then keep everything short, down to a few words. Keep writing. CG" -- Cleveland W. Gibson, FARINGDON, OXON, ENGLAND.
"Is that all????" -- Matt.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2007 Michael Potter
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
September 2007
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1545
 

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