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An Unhealthy Case Of Paranoia by Glen Pearson After taking some acid, a night on the beers is the last thing Pete wants. Larry'... [2,668 words]
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A geezer unflatteringly describes his encounter with a member of the opposite sex after having one too many...
(Contains offensive language, brazen sexual comments and should be read only by those with a very warped sense of humour)
Somerstown producer, director and writer.
|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (12)
An Unhealthy Case Of Paranoia (Short Stories) After taking some acid, a night on the beers is the last thing Pete wants. Larry's choice of pubs doesn't help much either. (Contains strong language) [2,668 words] [Mind]
Get Rich (Songs) These are the lyrics for the hip-hop album that me and my brother are currently producing. I have placed them on here so that they will be copyrighted (July 2004) but if you feel like reading them an... [4,478 words] [Crime]
Is She Playing Away? (Short Stories) An ordinary bloke lies awake next to his girlfriend pondering over whether she's cheating on him. (Contains blatant sexual references.) (Please Review!) [937 words] [Erotic]
John (Short Stories) A shocking and sick final entry to disturb you. This will be my last story on Storymania seein' as how I'm now concentrating on a novel. Anyone interested in reading a bit can feel free to contact m... [3,492 words] [Horror]
John's Secret (Short Stories) Bill's big brother John is acting a bit weird. What's going on? (Not for impressionable kiddies.) [2,154 words] [Comedy]
Just A Nightmare (Short Stories) A disturbing short account of a power cut in a family home where a small boys nightmare becomes reality. (Contains harsh language) [1,910 words]
Man's Best Friend (Short Stories) A so-called hard man describes his relationship in no uncertain terms with his Rottweiler dog. (Contains the usual amount of excessive swearing, what can I say? He's not a nice bloke) [3,521 words] [Nature]
Office Work (Short Stories) The escapades of Fit-Boy, set around 2010, a couple of years before the events in the film. WARNING Contains strong language throughout. [5,823 words] [Comedy]
Over (Poetry) A rare show of real feeling... [36 words] [Spiritual]
The Barn (Short Stories) A barn offering food and comfort is not all that it seems to a hungry tramp. [1,505 words] [Horror]
The Long Way Home (Short Stories) It was just a normal party. But after what happened I just had to get home. But would I make it? (Contains language not suitable for little children) [4,071 words] [Drama]
The Scissors (Short Stories) Two lewd,crude,common geezers very graphically discuss a night of 'passion' that went awry for one of the blokes in question. (Contains harsh language and stark sexual references) [1,297 words] [Erotic]
Oh, shit, what the fuck am I doing with this slut? She’s going on about some shit while we walk down the road, to her place I think. I dunno, my heads too fucked to concentrate on something simple like where the fuck I am.
“….two years now. ‘Av y’ bin don this way ‘fore Rich?”
“Wha?” I mumble, turning to look at her over-made up blubbery face. The rest of it’s not much better : floppy tits bounce around in her T-shirt with every step and her arse is barely contained in that ridiculously short skirt. I will not look at her legs, if I look at her legs I know I’m going to throw up.
“I sed; ‘Av y’ bin dan this way ‘fore or not, Rich?”
“Er…” I examine the murky streets, scored down here before I think, ”yeah, once or twice I think. Where the fuck’s your place then ‘luv?”
“Not far.” The slut, (oh fuck, shit, what the fuck’s her name?) half directs, half drags me down a few more dingy streets till we get to a maisonette. The glass in the security door is missing and the keypad on the wall’s got shit-loads of wires sticking out of it and a dent kicked in the speaker. Fucking great area all right. Still, at the moment I think I’d almost prefer to get mugged than stick my prick up this bitch.
Surprise, surprise, she lives on the fucking top floor and guess what? Yeah the lift doesn’t fucking work. She says something about the council and how she’s moving out soon or something, I just grunt and allow her to lead me up the piss-stinking stairs. The walls are covered with shitty graffiti (no decent stuff, just fuckin’ poncey scrawls) and half the lights have been smashed in.
All right, my bed-sit ain’t exactly paradise but it’s like a fucking stuck up neighbourhood compared to this shit hole.
We finally get to her front door.
“What’s that?” I ask her, pointing to a big bit of caved in wood near the bottom of the door.
“Oh, that’s just wot one o’ me ex’es did when I wou’nt lett’im in.” she says, as if it's nothing of consequence, which it isn’t I suppose, seein’ as she’s movin’ soon, yeah fucking sure she is.
We go into her place which ain't too bad really, I suppose. At least it’s fucking clean.
“Er, nice place” I say stupidly, wanting to sit down before I fucking fall down.
“Ay Rich, do you wanna coffee?”
I smile and shake my head. I can’t fucking believe she just said that. There’s some ripped open envelopes chucked in the doorway. I tell her I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea. There’s the usual incredulation at my request for three sugars. Why do people find that so fucking strange?
As she goes off, presumably to the kitchen, I pick up some of the discarded envelopes. They’re all addressed to a Shona Gooch. As long as no other cunt lives here that must be her.
“Oi, Shona!” I call out.
“Yeah?” she calls back, generations of common-as-shit attitudes brought across in that single word.
“Fuck the tea, do you wanna show us your fucking room then, ay?”
“Oooh, you ‘ave got the ‘orn ain’t ya ?”
Shona giggles, grabs my hand and pulls me through to her bedroom. She switches on the light, revealing walls covered in the Spice Girls and various boy bands. Fucking hell, this is definitely the last time I pull some slapper.
The light in Shona’s room fucked my head up a bit. I just got a mad rush and feel ill as fuck. I stagger forward onto Shona and onto the bed. She giggles and wraps her limbs around me. Her hips are hard as fuck, but her tits are flopping all over the bloody place. Her lips have fastened on mine and she tries to suck up my whole fucking throat down her gob. I give her a bit of a grope while she thumbles about with my jeans. She’s fucking eager I’ll give her that. I may as well oblige although how I can get a fucking hard on in this state I’ve no idea.
Whoa fuck! She’s rolled me onto my back and has slid down me, her slippery lips moving down my cock. Ahh! The fat cow knows what she’s doing all right.
“Ahh! Fucking hell Shona,” I gasp.
“Any good?” she murmurs between mouth-fulls.
“Fucking hell, yeah….” I can feel my orgasm building up as her head bobs up and down. Yeah man. This ain’t so fucking bad. No effort at all. I’m panting like a mad fucker. Yeah, just come down the bitch’s throat, get some sleep and fuck off before she wakes up. Oh yeah, fuckin’ nearly there, yeah, come on ….. what the fuck!? She’s stopped.
“What the fuck?” I ask.
“You was about a’ cum.” She pants, “I ain’t ‘avin you finnish’d spent before you shags us.”
Fuck, this birds experienced. I was seconds away. I …. Oh fuck; shit. Just how many blokes has this bird fucked?
“Yeah, wait a sec,” I drag up my jeans and get out my wallet. Two condoms in there. Sorted.
“Ah, don’t worry ‘bout that,” she says, “I’m on the pill ain’t I.”
Oh shit, this is awkward. “Yeah well, I’d prefer it y’ know. Just to be … er fuck … y’ know, just to be sure.”
“You sayin’ you don’t trust us, Rich?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Er, bollocks. It’s either risk AIDs or fuck knows what else with this slut, or try and find a way home, unless I persuade the bitch.
“Nah, nah,” I reassure her, “It’s just that, y’ know. When I’ve got a fucking jonnie on I can last longer, y’ know, you’ll be fucking lovin’ it.”
I throw her a stupid feeling grin that I hope looks like I’m desperate to shag her, and satisfy her.
Before she can disagree I slip it on and thrust my shoulders between her legs. Fucking hell she’s dripping. I pull down her sopping white knickers and somehow manage to tug her skirt off her arse. Her stink makes me feel like puking.
I quickly pull off her T-shirt (no bra, what a surprise), toss my clothes off and plant myself between her legs before she can insist on me licking her out.
Her cunts an easy target and I begin dutifully pumping away. She just fucking lies there gasping, telling me how she’s loving it. God, this is fucking horrible. Wherever I look I can see her flesh quivering like fucking jelly. I shut my eyes as if in ecstasy and attempt to conjure up an identity that I could be fucking. Bloody hell, I might as well have a wank. At least it didn’t stink as much.
After half an hour Shona pushes me off. Says she’s worn out. Don’t ask me how, seein’ as she didn’t even fucking do anything. But now I’m left with a fucking achin’ boner with a fucking stinking condom on while she, fucking hell she’s pulling the sheets over her. I don’t fucking believe this.
“Oi, Shona,” I give her a shake.
“Wot?” she grumbles. I can’t believe it, she’s going to fucking sleep.
“Yeah, d’ you think I can have a fucking shag?”
It’s no good. The cow’s actually asleep, snoring fit to wake the dead.
The shagging’s got rid of my need to puke and my light-headedness, but now I’ve got to come. I’ve just fucking got to.
“Fuck you, bitch,” I say, and slip the condom off. Even when I wipe it across her face there’s no response from her. I’ve got an idea. Pretty sick, but at this moment in time I really couldn’t give a shit.
It seems that the idea of spunking on the bitch’s face does more for me than taking her up that vast hole of a cunt, ‘cause after just a few tugs my bollocks explode and the slut’s face is covered in the obligatory sticky white stuff.
Even my hysterical laughter doesn’t wake the bitch, so I tug on my clothes and leave her to it.
Fuck knows how I’m going to find my way home, but one thing’s for sure, I ain’t never pulling no fat slapper again.
|READER'S REVIEWS (4)
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"Yuck!" -- Ivana Milakovic.
"That was disgusting, although humorous in a very, very sick way. But it was well written, I'll give you that." -- Wolfa.
"They're like mopeds -ok to ride 'til your friends see you doing it... I agree that it's well written for what it is; but then so was Mein Kampe." -- AJ Magy.
"Comparing this piece to Hitler was a stretch. However I must disagree. I do not believe that this piece was well written at all. But, it has potential. Tightening up on grammer and spelling is always key. Try to reach a broad audience. I fear, author, that this piece will not.Just my opinion." -- Jeffrey.
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© 2000 Glen Pearson
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