The Hopeless Cynic: All That Glitters... by Robert G Hagans The Robster on love and relationships...watch your step ladies and gen... [995 words]
Gay Agony In India by Amit Gupta An essay. [620 words]
A New Perspective by Richard Koss A different perspective on the 911 tragedy and its aftermath. [614 words]
The Spiritual Way by Panangipalli S Murthy - [2,163 words]
Can't You See? A Collection Of Essays by Vineetha Menon A collection: Can't You See? - An insightful view into our own handicaps... [593 words]
The Park by Robert Benton The aging of a park. [338 words]
The Bridge Between by E. M. Conary This essay describes a bridge, which although real, it is more of a metaphor about life. [474 words]
People Don't Take Time To Climb Trees Anymore by Christina Tolentino A humorous piece written for a writing class that just makes you ... [314 words]
Music Box by Ozlem Wierzbicki It is a story about friendship and how life shaped it. [373 words]
From The Author by Scott W. Hazzard The wonderful world of Hazzarding. [228 words]
Timothy McVeigh: A Legacy by Shelley J Alongi This short work examines the possibility that Timothy McVeigh in character, action an... [788 words]
The Hopless Cynic: Masochistic Summer by Robert G Hagans The Robster takes a definitive stake forward in the ongoing battle of the... [1,219 words]
The Hopeless Romantic: Lost Loves by Charles Cotterman - [523 words]
Quiet Noises; The Interplay Between Silence, Sound And Space In Hip-Hop Music. by Martin De Leon this is a meditation on the stat... [3,576 words]
Perfection And Vanity by The Amateur Philosopher An essay on the problems of the modern world and the ways in which we could change and im... [1,732 words]
The Monte Carlo Iridium Credit Card.
The Hopless Cynic: The High School Experience by Robert G Hagans After a hiatus, the Robster is back, with a look back at High Sch... [1,243 words]
Please Forgive Me by Susan T Fisher Being human and doing things I regret. [106 words]
Our Customer Charter by Peter Perkins An alternative view on the current fashion for mission statements, service charters, and t... [394 words]
House Trailer by John C Rivers a trailer is a good place to live. [270 words]
Baan Kwaan Prison by John C Rivers a story about my experience visiting a prison in Thailand. I heard the guys there like having... [1,154 words]
There Is Hope: The Hopeless Cynic by Robert G Hagans Here's a follow up to my last. Enjoy it. The Robster strikes again. Dedicated... [985 words]
The Hopeless Romantic: The Ideal Life by Charles Cotterman A bit of a universal spread on the old idealist philosophy. [780 words]
The Hopeless Romantic: Proud To Be Foolish by Charles Cotterman - [620 words]
Personal Trauma -- An Unwilling Spectator by Roxanne Kendrick Can't really describe what this piece is about, except that it was, f... [1,234 words]
The Old Homeplace by Tara A. Lambert "The Old Homeplace" is a short essay describing an homecoming on the surface, but just beneat... [528 words]
The Keeper by E. L. Bennett Where death and the beauty of life come together... An essay of a man who has chosen his final rest... [687 words]
Story Of Success by Heather Springer - [321 words]
My Teacher Of Life by Kim Dow The quality of material posted on your site and the unique opportunity to have other college... [422 words]
Every Woman Wants To Be Seduced by Joseph A Santiago I am Unlike most you have read. Creating a space between words, a space between... [1,695 words]
Brother by T Shanell Penniton A true story of my experience dealing with a life threatning disease that attacked my brother. [1,292 words]
The Greatest Show On Earth by Adagio A comment on how the public fuel war by supporting the big businesses and media gian... [390 words]
A Woman Is A Flower-A Man Is A Tree by Susan T Fisher Comparing the traits of women and men to the traits of flowers and trees. [308 words]
A Lesson In Love by Sharon Grata A shopping trip that teaches about love everlasting. [603 words]
Echoes Of Madness; A Night With Lee Scratch Perry by Martin De Leon a review and textual memory of a recent night observing and e... [1,295 words]
The Under-Ten League by James Plourde I find one of the gifts of fatherhood and reclaim a painful part of my own childhood throu... [1,756 words]
The Price Of Freedom by Matt Laubenstein An essay on what the price of freedom is to people around the world and what freedom reall... [1,029 words]
Renaissance--Western Civilization Essay 2 by Lissa N Metz-Gomez Essay number 2 of 3 for Western Civilization (fall of Rome up to the ... [4,207 words]
Middle Ages--Western Civilization Essay 1 by Lissa N Metz-Gomez The first in a 3-part series of essays I did for my Western Civilizat... [4,115 words]
Let's Have Some Fun With H M Os by Georgia Kraff A satirical look at the dismal state of healthcare today. [572 words]
Friend by Emcee Teacup A short little thing about a friend of mine. I'm new to writing outside of the forced journals of elemen... [1,009 words]
Essay For Western Civilization-Ancient History Part I by Lissa N Metz-Gomez This is the first in a series of three essays I did for m... [3,599 words]
Creed: A Tribute by Matt Laubenstein This is an article about the famous band Creed that has sold millions of records. [779 words]
Belonging by Matt Laubenstein An essay about the human struggle to belong. [560 words]
Ancient History Part 2 by Lissa N Metz-Gomez The second in a three-part series of essays I did for my Western Civiliation-Ancient His... [4,895 words]
A Guy Thing by Georgia Kraff It isn't always the earth-shaking things that change the course of one's life. Sometimes it's some... [678 words]
South Florida Memoirs by Georgia Kraff The recent election fiasco in Florida didn't surprise me a bit. When I lived there, I ca... [565 words]
Faith And The Stars by Mary Ann Delk I wrote this article for some of my friends whom I had been discussing faith with. [1,056 words]
The Firstborn Of God. Resolving The Contradictions In The Bible. by Gail Evans "The Firstborn of God. Resolving the Contradic... [999 words]
Whispers In The Desert by Hasan Qutb Whispers in the desert. [222 words]
View's Of Man's Nature by Ali Nicole Burton This is an essay that tells a few different views of man's nature and how they relate to... [610 words]
The One Emotion by Michael W Miller The writers feelings toward love. [158 words]
Perfection by Michael Hunter Another "college essay". These things are starting to tick me off. Anyway, I decided to go a diffe... [452 words]
The Cayman Wall by Danny I. Spitler -The author revisits the place where he overcame fear years ago and challenges himself to do it... [1,448 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 [10] 11
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
The Monte Carlo Iridium Credit Card. |
DESCRIPTION
Essay on the current flood of credit offers everyone receives daily offering unlimited funds all secured on?
[995 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Finance |
AUTHOR
Peter Perkins |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Peter Perkins lives in Norwich in the UK and writes extensively on his own web site at.
http://www.comedygenius.fsnet.co.uk/index.html.
[June 2001] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (3)
Half Marathon Man (Non-Fiction) True account of author Peter Perkins attempt to run a half marathon and the subsequent near death experience it became! [2,001 words] [Adventure]
Hans Boche My Story (Novels) Fictionalised account of the wartime exploits of Hans Boche a german soldier in the second world war and his family. [35,510 words] [Adventure]
Our Customer Charter (Essays) An alternative view on the current fashion for mission statements, service charters, and the like. [394 words] [Comedy]
|
The Monte Carlo Iridium Credit Card.
Peter Perkins
The Monte Carlo Iridium and Double Gold Professional. (Credit Card)
That'll do it. That's a good name for my Credit Card Business.
Isn't it great, we are all courted and highly valued by so many Companies. They write to us all the time. They want to confirm how upstanding and absolutely top notch we are by offering us their credit card. We feel gratified by the offer alone, it implies status, that all-important thing to which we are all aspire. It looks like a good thing so I'll jump on the bandwagon. For my Credit Card Company I did consider. 'The Workers Plywood Card.' or 'Hard-Up Imitation Vinyl Card.' but decided against. I also considered the silly names that one would think had no chance at all, but of course one would be wrong. 'Put it on my Goldfish' is not a joke at the expense of fish or shop assistants. It's as successful as Billy Connolly.
Metal is good in the name. Gold is old hat though. Everyone has Gold Cards and they are beginning to be viewed with suspicion. To own a silver card is to skulk from place to place with the coat collar up. Platinum has been done, so I have chosen Iridium, I don't know what is it, but the 'um's' are automatically good, financially. Better not go to Uranium and Plutonium as it might frighten people, especially if the card could be made to glow in the dark. Actually now I think about it, that might have been great but it's too late, the new stationery order has gone to the printers. The necessary exclusivity for my Credit Card is provided by the Monte Carlo element of the name, not that I've got anything to do with the place. I ruled out 'International' as there are poor people in the world. No poor people in Monte and with my card it's almost the same as having a yacht and bodyguards. Imagine my card was the 'Wigan Iridium etc.' Might as well call it 'Fish and Chips', hang on, that's not bad. The inverted snobs would have a smile when they flashed it at Fortnum's ...'Put it on my Fish and Chips please.' Too late, gone to the printers. Not only are we courted and our self-esteem increased by every post with Credit Card offers, there are also a vast band of philanthropists who wish to send us a lot of money. What is so good about them is that they like difficulties. If you are financially prudent, happily married, never been in the County Court, and kept up the mortgage payments religiously, they might still consider us, but with less relish. No, it's the tough ones they want, if you own a house. 'Mortgage arrears no problem.' 'Your home is at risk if you do not keep up the repayments.' Those two statements appear together very often, very odd. Unless they actually want your house. Surely not? Ask yourself, how can someone, presented with a history of imprudent debt and failure to repay still lend money to you? Exactly.
I think these philanthropists work on categories.
No house, owned or mortgaged..........................NO.
With house. Poor and fairly stupid.....................YES. (The preferred category.)
Ditto............Hard working but fairly stupid.......YES.
Ditto............High earning, high spending, designer labels.....YES.
Try an application if your address is cardboard box no 3, Under Westminster Bridge?
Perhaps in due course all the property in the country will be owned by these lenders? I guess it would be but they'll recycle. Sell it and another potential customer is created.
These philanthropists have lovely respectable names, and have virtually given away billions already. They specialise in 'consolidation'. (Consolidate=Worsen. The words debt, owing and borrowing are avoided)) How we all wish we could 'consolidate', so solid a word, how Stock Exchange, how Coutts and Co. Why, we are almost a 'name' at Lloyds when we 'consolidate'. It would almost be worth getting into debt to do it. What it actually means is that you will be paying for last year's holiday in Tenerife for five or ten years instead of one, and you may well become homeless as well. We feel gratified by acceptance for a loan and we are amazed at how easy it was. We can use the money for any purpose. We have a good 'status', are models of fiscal probity. We may think this means a general discussion has taken place in the Philanthropists inner sanctum, when our ears burnt, about what an all round good egg we are. This is not so. In fact the top usurer, having checked most carefully that they stand to gain yet another house, stamps OK on your application. Then they look at their proposed new advertising campaign. A poor sod has the oak bank doors slammed in his rainswept face. A maze is full of woebegone divorcees, old people, debtors, who don't know which way to turn. Then the reverse, when the philanthropists have 'consolidated' them. The bespectacled children who can now go to Roedean, the classic sports car, the new kitchen, the holiday, the happiness. There it ends. There are no pictures of phase three, which is, a never-ending millstone of repayments, an eviction, a divorce, a childrens home, and bed and breakfast with the asylum seekers. 'What a lot of money people must owe.' We say this to ourselves with self-righteous smugness if we are not in the same position. We grin, with rueful glee. 'How can they ever pay it all back? ' Well very often they can't and I shouldn't mind a few houses houses myself, so if you can't beat 'em join 'em'. My Empire, The Wensum Group of Companies is going into banking. The name of the credit card is now fixed and I shall go into the consolidation business. I shall need to borrow a bit of money to start. I can do that easy enough, I've got my house for security. Nothing can possibly go wrong.
|
READER'S REVIEWS (2)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"okay, that's good; a little sarcasm hits the nail right on the head." -- Shelley, Fullerton, California, USA.
"Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., ....
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION) |
|
Submit Your Review for The Monte Carlo Iridium Credit Card.
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for The Monte Carlo Iridium Credit Card.
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2001 Peter Perkins |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
June 2001 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2253
|
|
