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The Final Battle
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TITLE (EDIT)
The Final Battle |
DESCRIPTION
Read it and you'll see! Any comments on anything I do are hugely appreciated - even if it's just to tell me to give up!
[348 words] |
AUTHOR
Briony Carvalho |
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ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
just me
[January 2008] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (36)
Autumnal Longings (Poetry) Just got a whiff of blackberries and I remembered my place in the woods where I went to think. [104 words]
Bananas (Short Stories) A very short short story [180 words] [Animal]
Brit Boys (Poetry) As promised Curious! [240 words]
Butterfly Love (Poetry) - [90 words]
Changing (Poetry) Can't ever decide anything - just jotted down the meanderings of my mind! [120 words]
Chorus Of Love (Poetry) My first attempt at a proper old school rhyming poem - one about losing 'the one' [116 words]
Destiny (Poetry) Waffly brain fart about how going back is easier than picking yourself up and moving on [153 words]
Dreams Of Reality (Novels) Thought I'd give it a try... opening chapter of a plot I've been thinking about for a long time. [659 words]
Eternal (Poetry) - [80 words]
Four Little Words (Poetry) Out the words tumble - this one is about relationships. [114 words]
He Laughs At Me (Poetry) OK being told off for not posting so here's a rubbish poem for you. [86 words]
Healing The Pain (Poetry) That feeling of uselessness you get when someone gets bad news. [105 words]
Heartbreaker (Poetry) Another attempt at rhyming - bit of a jokey one (makes a change from my terminally depressive ones!) [97 words]
How It Feels (Poetry) - [141 words]
I Cling To Hope (Poetry) Thank you MK, a little changed but still the sentiment is yours. [77 words]
I Haven't Got A Clue! (Poetry) Who does know the answers? [139 words]
Italy (Short Stories) this is a piece I've written for my Mum - PLEASE can you provide some feedback? [805 words]
Mouse Brain (Poetry) Weird little thing written whilst bored! [238 words]
Nidiot (Poetry) - [142 words]
Purge - Goodbye (Non-Fiction) - [487 words] [Mind]
Raindrops And Memories (Short Stories) - [804 words]
Reaching For The Moon (Poetry) Just a little thing I wrote in about ten seconds when a friend bowed down to everything her bloke wanted. [96 words]
Scourge Of The Future (Poetry) Inspired by Colin Baker - you can make a poem from anything, even an old lady rant at litter louts! [75 words]
Shall I Tell You What I Really Think? (Poetry) Grr angry poem. [94 words]
Sticky Taped Heart (Short Stories) - [844 words]
Swan Dive (Novels) A little attempt at the opening chapter of a comedy (loosely) based around me [418 words]
Swan Dive - Chapter 2 (Novels) Part two of my pants comedy novel. [1,553 words]
Swan Dive - Chapter 3 (Novels) Part 3 of my stupid novel - I will put it into the first person - when I can be bothered! [732 words]
Tears And Beauty (Poetry) Sad that people are so concerned with looks. [126 words]
The Mythical Creature (Poetry) Bit cheeky! [94 words]
Tiny Dreams (Poetry) As with the rest.. five minutes of brain splurge! - please please review some of my stuff - even if you think it's utter bobbins! - just amended it to have less 'she's' in it, thanks KM for the advise... [150 words]
Verbosity (Poetry) Got bored and fancied writing a silly poem for a giggle! [53 words]
Waiting In Limbo (Poetry) For my mum. [89 words]
Where You Live (Poetry) Blah blah fed up of work! [151 words]
Who Knows What Tomorrow Will Bring (Poetry) - [68 words]
You're My Shoe! (Poetry) How I feel. [83 words]
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The Final Battle
Briony Carvalho
Walking into the room she sensed and heard his presence before she saw him. She froze to the spot, her fear racking through her and heightening her senses. With the smallest of movement possible she moved her head round and scanned the room. The grainy evening light threw shadows to all the corners as she searched for her foe. A cold sweat prickled over her and her skin raised up into bumps as she saw him crouched low in the corner, at the moment, unaware of her presence. This was her chance, she thought as her heart began to race and her adrenaline rush seemed to make her sight clearer.
Breathing through her mouth to be quiet she stealthily crept round the table, deftly avoiding anything that would give away her presence. A cold hard ball in her stomach was fighting against her movement but she persevered. Circling on him now she could see him from behind. He was looking around the floor in front of him, testing the air and still oblivious to her presence as she crept forward another pace. Then he suddenly lurched upwards. She took in a sharp breath and stood, rooted to the spot. He turned round and saw her, lurching towards her she swung her arm wildly on his approach; a lucky blow sent him reeling onto the sofa. With new found energy she hurled herself over towards him and went for the final blow. With a swift motion he avoided her and swung round behind her, fast approaching for an attack on her head she steeled herself for the blow. At the last moment her arm went on auto pilot and smashed upwards sending him skittering over the table and onto the carpet. With him floundering on the floor she flew round the table and took her chance, stamping again and again on him with her hard soled shoes. Triumphant she looked up as Jon walked in…’what was all that noise?’ only a wasp she said as she picked up his broken body in a tissue and flung it in the bin.
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READER'S REVIEWS (7)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Brilliant. A superbly descriptive story about the killing of a 'jasper'. I applaud your courage, as I would have bolted and ran as soon as it came anywhere near me!!!!" -- Phil, UK.
"Ha ha ha, I kind of feel sorry for the wasp as it never saw it coming!" -- tamsin.
"ha ha indeed. Cleverly written but perhaps with a little review (like a lot of your things) it could be more cunningly written. Not your finest but a funny time passer" -- me.
"heh heh, thanks for the laugh" -- kwilt.
"Very descriptive. Funny, great detail on the battle of the wasp!" -- Joanna Parsons.
"Hehe. Nice! At first when I was reading this, I was thinking, "Well, this doesn't seem very realistic. How could she be beating him so easily (especially since he's probably a serial killer or something)?" But then I got to the end and it was all good. It was definitely appropriately surprising, which is great. And kudos for being one of the few people in the world who can spell "adrenaline" correctly! Thanks for the review on my work, by the way, although the concept isn't as original as you think, lol. It was inspired by a book about a guy who accidentally kills Death. *shrugs*" -- Kyle J. Douglas.
"Thank you Kyle - glad you enjoyed it. Do agree with Me as I do need to make the fight a little more realistic so as not to lose belief! Ahh as some of the masters say - imagination is nine tenths memory" -- Briony.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2006 Briony Carvalho |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
August 2006 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2353
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