Everything's Falling Into Place by Paul Leighland MacLaine As his girlfriend throws all his possessions from a balcony, the man realises t... [946 words]
Sky Bound by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 8. Five years after Anne and Andrew marry, a crisis in the making forces them t... [3,501 words]
The Way We Actually Were by Jeffrey (George) Winter Recollections from a veteran of the Third Reich. [1,337 words]
Wisdom Dug Out Of Dirt by Jeffrey (George) Winter The wealth possessed by a poor, old farmer. [1,032 words]
You've Got Mail by David B Doc Byron A parody of the secret lives of movie critics. [358 words]
The Spirit Tree by Paul Leighland MacLaine A small boy was living with his Aunt and Uncle on their farm discovers a magic tree, and a mira... [4,197 words]
The Secret Of Pimples by David B Doc Byron You'll never see this one coming.... [362 words]
The Caged Introvert by Michael Harris A shy, unattached man's journey for love... [3,644 words]
Sleep Tight. Nighty Night. by Alessandra Mace This story I wrote before 'Big things come in small packages' see how is has matured... [1,282 words]
Nothing Fits, Anyway by Daniel Taylor A short story. [1,610 words]
Night Bite! by Frank Dunsmore Some believe in vampires and some wannabe vampires but Lieutenant Schmidt and his detectives are un... [3,812 words]
Cutting Critics by Frank Dunsmore We've all heard the debate: what is the responsibility of a reviewer? Is it primarily to tell t... [5,146 words]
As Told By Me by Parker Short Story about a kid that gets caught up in the wrong stuff. [6,534 words]
A Poignant Goodbye by Anne Stewart A very short story about internet relationships. [597 words]
A Pocket Full Of Stones by Paul Leighland MacLaine As he walked through the darkest part of his town, he allowed his thoughts to get the b... [929 words]
The Legacy by Paul Leighland MacLaine Abandonment is a terrible way to end a relationship, especially when it is in favour of your best fr... [3,561 words]
The Cool Clique
Sweetchild by Paul Leighland MacLaine Sweetchild is the story of interracial love, a tragic story of a Romeo and Juliet. [2,387 words]
Story Of A Ghost by Matthew Mercieca A short story, about a man who goes through life being consumed by hate. [1,130 words]
Special by Pearl S - [1,338 words]
Space Walk by Sue (Sooz) Simpson May Cause offense. [1,290 words]
So This Is My Life Then by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [517 words]
Renting by Paul Leighland MacLaine Sometimes letting go can be harder than holding on. [390 words]
Remington, Underwood & Royal by Paul Leighland MacLaine Will Kingsway has just purchased the solution to his writerís block Ė a black, Rem... [4,378 words]
Pulp-Affliction by David B Doc Byron You figure it out. [568 words]
Podunk by David B Doc Byron A small group of rednecks find out what it's like not to get the last laugh on a minority. [763 words]
On The Singularity Cusp by Matt Tracy Learn the lengths to which humans will go to reach immortality. They reach for the star... [2,287 words]
Newsworthy by Vyacheslav Yampolsky A short story. [1,459 words]
Just A Bloody Card Game by Jerry Vilhotti A strorella. [979 words]
Involution Melancholia by Paul Leighland MacLaine Mead wakes to find he has been sleeping on a bar. The room is filled with people and smo... [1,859 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [991 words]
Four Minute Warning by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [476 words]
Close? Only When We Danced by Paul Leighland MacLaine Secrets and promises are often the hardest things to keep. They have a habit of slip... [908 words]
Cherry Blossom by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [435 words]
Big Things Come In Small Packages by Alessandra Mace This story is about a boy who loves playing the piano and wishes to be a pian... [2,075 words]
Anything Has To Be Better Than This by Paul Leighland MacLaine Nixon lives a quiet life, he minds his own business, keeps to himself...ití... [952 words]
Grounded by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 10. Seven years into their marriage, life presents the Crance's with a few welco... [2,957 words]
Fatal Flight by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 9. Reacting to Eric's death, Andrew, Eric's first flight instructor, and pro... [3,852 words]
Instrument Meteorological Conditions by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 6. Built on friendship and common interest, Andrew ... [2,464 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [114 words]
Watch Out, Henry! There's A Hole In That There Bucket! by Pearl S The English Essay I Had Way Too Much Fun Writing. [4,772 words]
Warring Faiths by Ami Another dream... [1,503 words]
Volunteer by Scott Turnit Red Scottturnitred The Empire Falls into civil war. Hard decesions must be made. [2,654 words]
Violet Glowing by Jason Richard Mercer The prelude to a story about an emotionally drained nymphomaniac with the soul of an angel. (I g... [594 words]
Twenty-First Century Mankind by Eric A Hofmann I chose to write a modern day myth which tackled subjects that I thought should be... [1,273 words]
Torn Over Ben by Tracy N Van Brocklin This story is an overview of a young woman's feelings about how she must give up what has been ma... [3,667 words]
The Wrong Love by Samuel James Chase When is love wrong? A story told from the point of view of a person who feels he is the victim i... [2,425 words]
The Music Of Zetaph by Rachael E Bills An intriguing outlook on a futuristic world where aliens from the planet Zetaph have interg... [3,218 words]
The Dinosaur by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [1,523 words]
Rebecca by Tammi Goyns A short story about supposed insanity...read into the mind of a madman and how he finds society to be c... [1,034 words]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [552 words]
Lake Of The Woods by Stephanie Black A story about man vs. nature. A young boy must face a bear in the middle of nowhere during ... [2,492 words]
Insideout by David B Doc Byron A woman born deformed longs to be beautiful. [791 words]
His Prospects by Caitlin Conaway Repressed Victorians! Plus Antarctic Explorers, a pretty Oxford reject, and a little morphine. [3,535 words]
Four Months by Hopii Canterfield This is not meant to be a trite romance, although I know that it can come off that way. It's just ... [666 words]
Experience As In Dostojewski by Stefanie Aschmann The narrator is a rich, middle aged woman living in Germany. Her outlook on life t... [2,023 words]
Dropping The Red Doll by Paul Leighland MacLaine He hasnít seen his ex-wife in three years but suddenly she is back in his head and back i... [822 words]
Don't Be So Quick To Pull The Plug! by Ami Imagine yourself in her position and SHIVER! It's kind of creepy, a trigger... [1,658 words]
Cat's Chorus by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [1,332 words]
Cancer Of The Circumstance by Paul Leighland MacLaine When a man meets a friend in the street, a long lost friend, he sees that he is dyin... [1,424 words]
Blue Pill by Scott Turnit Red Scottturnitred Deep Space Romance. [4,499 words]
Anne by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [707 words]
After She Left by Paul Leighland MacLaine When a relationship ends and partners go their separate ways, the memory of the lost love begins... [708 words]
A Twist In The Tail by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [963 words]
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The Cool Clique
I actually did some reasearch for this, interviewed a few older friends... they don't understand it anymore than I do.
I'm a teenager; I like to write, play music, and read old English manuscripts.
|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (14)
Everything's Routine (Essays) The frightening realization that people live their entire lives like gerbils running in their wheels, and sometimes come away empty-handed. [662 words]
Makes No Difference (Poetry) Not the Sum 41 song. [120 words]
Not Who I'm Supposed To Be (Poetry) I said it was poetry but it isn't really. I don't know what to call it, but it's the feeling you get when everyone knows you should be more than you are and they're right. [373 words]
Nothing Much (Poetry) - [328 words]
Snowing In April (Songs) - [346 words]
Sounds Of Silence And What I Can't Say (Poetry) - [358 words]
Special (Short Stories) - [1,338 words]
The Masochist Boy (Novels) A neglected teenager confronts his addiction and depression with the help of an insecure friend. [35,178 words] [Teenage]
The Waves (Songs) - [160 words]
Watch Out, Henry! There's A Hole In That There Bucket! (Short Stories) The English Essay I Had Way Too Much Fun Writing. [4,772 words] [Teenage]
We Are Connected By A Net Of Faith (Songs) I guess the title doesn't say much, but this is my feeling about the coming war with Iraq. [296 words]
White Washed Walls, A Collection (Poetry) Acollection of verse: White Washed Walls: Something that came to me while I was sitting by my window... it was a bitter kind of day. Empty Wind-blown Streets: Pieced together from different hospital... [707 words]
Why I Got High, Ran Away, And Just Generally Screwed Myself Up (Poetry) A thought that popped into my head today. I think it might actually explain something. I don't know, I just want it to be out there. [34 words]
'ms. America' (Songs) If Ms. America was a typical American woman... [287 words]
The Cool Clique
Do you know what hurts?
I want to be let into your little group. I like the things you like. The things you say I find interesting. The things you do I find fun. I want to be let into your little group. Why not? Iím more like you than any other.
But you wonít let me in.
At first I didnít understand; I thought it must be me. I thought I wasnít cool enough, I thought I wasnít popular enough. I thought I must be strange. I thought I must be pathetic. You say that Iím pathetic.
I want to slap you.
So I tried. I let you do whatever you wanted with me. Whatís mine is yours. Whatís yours is not mine. You do not share with me. When you and your group start talking and I walk in, you start talking someplace else. You walk away.
You wonít let me in.
So I asked my mother what to do. My mother says Iím not trying hard enough. She says I must talk only about what you find interesting. My mother says I must do only what your group is doing. She doesnít know that every time I try to talk to you, you stare me down until I feel worthless. She doesnít know that each time I try to speak, the words die in my mouth. I stand like an accused or a beggar; you sit like a queen or a police man. I stand in silence, pleading to you with my eyes. You sit in silence, glaring at me, another unwanted fly.
You wonít let me in.
Iíve done everything for† you. I laugh at all your jokes. I say what you want to hear. I like what you like. You hateful person, donít you† realize everything Iíve sacrificed for you? Iíve sacrificed my mind and my identity. Iíve sacrificed my opinions, my interests, my time, my music, my grades, my money, my food. Iíve given it all up for you. And what have you given in return?
Nothing. Youíve given nothing. You wonít let me in.
Youíve taken taken taken. Once I was crying. You asked me what was wrong, listened without listening, and walked away. Taken taken taken. You laugh at me and mock me, you and your entire group. You talk to me only when thereís no one else to talk to. You call me pathetic and tell me that I can only dream about fitting in with the rest of you. Then you laugh, and I laugh with you. When I donít laugh, when I bend my head and scurry quickly away, you say I am being too sensitive. In your eyes, nothing I do is of any value or any consideration.
I wanted to be your friend. I liked you. I thought you were interesting. I just wanted to be your friend.
And what do I have now?
I have nothing.
I have no identity. I have no interests. Iíve thought about drugs, but I donít have any money left to buy them with. Donít you realize what youíve done to me?
I have no friends. I have no friends. You step on me and use me, but you are not my friends. The rest of the school has a nametag for me now: ďWannabe.Ē I used to have a choice of a few labels, a few groups I might have fit with. Now I have only one.
Are there others like me? Iíve looked, but I donít see any. Oh, I see the other girls in your group. They do everything I have done. They scramble in their search for the right words to say, they give you whatever you want, pay homage to you like a queen. But you let them in. You talk to them, and they listen. And I walk past, and the groupóqueen bee and all her little workersólaugh at me.
And that hurts.
I thought that maybe Iíd move to a different high school, a different city. Start all over again. Pick up the ashes of my identity; patch it back together with scotch tape. This time, I would protect that identity with all my heart. There would be no sacrificing. There would be no stooping. I would respect others, but I would not try to fit in. I would have no friends. I would have no peers. I would graduate, and then what? Go through the rest of my life that way?
It used to be that people respected me for who I was. But now I no longer know who I am, and no one respects me. No one takes me seriously. No one listens when I talk. No one speaks to me or laughs with me. I am alone like a caged dog. Every now and then some one pokes me with a sharp stick, and some one else laughs. Then they leave me.
And that hurts.
I have nothing left now.
No, that is not true.
I have one thing.
|READER'S REVIEWS (6)
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"Read this a couple times Pearl and it seems you captured the angst many probably felt going through their teens. Things have a way of evening out and suffering can be a great motivater. Nice work." -- Just A Guy.
"thanks...i hope i didn't scare anyone, but i try to get these things down so i can understand them later and prevent other ppl from feeling the way i did" -- pearl.
"u took the words right out of my mouth. how could you get inside my head so perfectly. after a while, i just think - why do i want to be like them? it's not doing me any good to try so why try at all? don't bother, don't stoop low and beneath urself for s/o else who won't even give u the time of day. i think it but when i'm actually in the situation, i can't overcome my desire to be 'one of the group'... i'm sure u know what i mean. " -- miriam.
"lol miriam...you have no idea how funny it was to see your review here. i guess i never realized how many ppl have the same problem. and the point is, no matter how much their behavior may turn you off at times you still half wish you could be them. lol we have to deal with a lot of the same junk, dont we?" -- pearl.
"My gosh! i learnt a long time ago that trying to be someone you're not doesn't work. It gets annoying when you're trying to hard. I know ppl like that and they drive me nuts. The adults don't always understand what you're going through. But you're story was great!!" -- turaliz.
"that story was so touching and i know exacly how you feel. i also know a certain someone who is like that well its a good story" -- sara , wagga wagga, nsw, australia.
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© 2002 Pearl S
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