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TITLE (EDIT)
Swan Dive |
DESCRIPTION
A little attempt at the opening chapter of a comedy (loosely) based around me
[418 words] |
AUTHOR
Briony Carvalho |
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ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
just me
[January 2008] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (36)
Autumnal Longings (Poetry) Just got a whiff of blackberries and I remembered my place in the woods where I went to think. [104 words]
Bananas (Short Stories) A very short short story [180 words] [Animal]
Brit Boys (Poetry) As promised Curious! [240 words]
Butterfly Love (Poetry) - [90 words]
Changing (Poetry) Can't ever decide anything - just jotted down the meanderings of my mind! [120 words]
Chorus Of Love (Poetry) My first attempt at a proper old school rhyming poem - one about losing 'the one' [116 words]
Destiny (Poetry) Waffly brain fart about how going back is easier than picking yourself up and moving on [153 words]
Dreams Of Reality (Novels) Thought I'd give it a try... opening chapter of a plot I've been thinking about for a long time. [659 words]
Eternal (Poetry) - [80 words]
Four Little Words (Poetry) Out the words tumble - this one is about relationships. [114 words]
He Laughs At Me (Poetry) OK being told off for not posting so here's a rubbish poem for you. [86 words]
Healing The Pain (Poetry) That feeling of uselessness you get when someone gets bad news. [105 words]
Heartbreaker (Poetry) Another attempt at rhyming - bit of a jokey one (makes a change from my terminally depressive ones!) [97 words]
How It Feels (Poetry) - [141 words]
I Cling To Hope (Poetry) Thank you MK, a little changed but still the sentiment is yours. [77 words]
I Haven't Got A Clue! (Poetry) Who does know the answers? [139 words]
Italy (Short Stories) this is a piece I've written for my Mum - PLEASE can you provide some feedback? [805 words]
Mouse Brain (Poetry) Weird little thing written whilst bored! [238 words]
Nidiot (Poetry) - [142 words]
Purge - Goodbye (Non-Fiction) - [487 words] [Mind]
Raindrops And Memories (Short Stories) - [804 words]
Reaching For The Moon (Poetry) Just a little thing I wrote in about ten seconds when a friend bowed down to everything her bloke wanted. [96 words]
Scourge Of The Future (Poetry) Inspired by Colin Baker - you can make a poem from anything, even an old lady rant at litter louts! [75 words]
Shall I Tell You What I Really Think? (Poetry) Grr angry poem. [94 words]
Sticky Taped Heart (Short Stories) - [844 words]
Swan Dive - Chapter 2 (Novels) Part two of my pants comedy novel. [1,553 words]
Swan Dive - Chapter 3 (Novels) Part 3 of my stupid novel - I will put it into the first person - when I can be bothered! [732 words]
Tears And Beauty (Poetry) Sad that people are so concerned with looks. [126 words]
The Final Battle (Short Stories) Read it and you'll see! Any comments on anything I do are hugely appreciated - even if it's just to tell me to give up! [348 words]
The Mythical Creature (Poetry) Bit cheeky! [94 words]
Tiny Dreams (Poetry) As with the rest.. five minutes of brain splurge! - please please review some of my stuff - even if you think it's utter bobbins! - just amended it to have less 'she's' in it, thanks KM for the advise... [150 words]
Verbosity (Poetry) Got bored and fancied writing a silly poem for a giggle! [53 words]
Waiting In Limbo (Poetry) For my mum. [89 words]
Where You Live (Poetry) Blah blah fed up of work! [151 words]
Who Knows What Tomorrow Will Bring (Poetry) - [68 words]
You're My Shoe! (Poetry) How I feel. [83 words]
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Swan Dive
Briony Carvalho
She didn’t quite expect her day to begin standing in a squelchy puddle of pasta sauce, in a supermarket but on a scale of recent days this wasn’t a bad beginning. Carefully stepping backwards, managing to avoid slipping over but leaving size seven tomato and basil footprints she carefully made her way out of the supermarket and to the nearest puddle. Sploshing around in a puddle she decided that this wasn’t quite the perfect start to what should be her wedding day.
Flinging her sticky shoes into the corner of the lobby she pressed her back up against the cold glass of the front door and closed her eyes. An unsuspecting postman attempted to post some junk mail into her butt and she decided that crawling back into bed was probably a good idea.
28, living in a rented studio flat with one skinny and one fat cat was not her ideal. She had left THE job and THE man all for what? Nothing! He had encouraged her to leave work. Mostly, she suspected, to stop the hole growing in the ozone layer from her constant whinging and complaining about her boss. He had moulded her into wifie and let her live in his huge mansion (which, she discovered, was not made for haring round on a scooter on, she did get some very stern comments about that!) The dream wedding was booked and when she had turned up to the hall to decide on whether to have Anthuriums or Lilys (not that she could tell the difference) she had freaked and ran away. The photographer had snapped her sprinting up the middle of the hall and swan diving over the back of a crouched usher and plummet into a large (fortunately) empty fountain. So her dramatic exit from the dream wedding had also been a disaster. She groaned and tried to stuff the duvet into her ears to block out the memory. Splat, the cat, was flung across the room at this movement and landed belly flop stylee into her litter tray, litter scattering like wee scented pot pourri around the already dirty flat. Great, she thought, as she decided her day couldn’t get much worse.
Little did she know that her not-so perfect world was a damn sight more perfect than it would be in the next few weeks. She would be longing for the scent of cat wee and the slight chaff mark from the letter posted into her behind...that would be sweet relief compared to the future.
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READER'S REVIEWS (3)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"WOW (and i seldom use caps), what a terrific blend of comedy and anticipation. all that and a pic, what a delight, can't wait to read what's next. i'm wondering if a size 7 in england is the same as here? " -- curious.
"Where's the rest.....I wanna see what happens here. Laughed out really loud when I got to the swan diving part. Good mix of comedy and drama. " -- kwilt.
"Thank you so much for your great comments. Curious - I have HUGE feet - US size 8 and a half but then again I am 5ft 11! Glad you liked it - just been inspired to write the next bit so watch this space" -- Briony.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2006 Briony Carvalho |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
June 2006 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2820
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