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Short Stories




Architects Of Our Own Demise by Harvey Kennett Man questions God for answers... and God replies... [369 words]
A Staged Disappearance by Ekaterina Alexandrova A Staged Disappearance by Kate Alexander. This story is based on a real person and thei... [2,277 words]
Anticipation by Ekaterina Alexandrova Anticipation by Kate Alexander. ... thoughts about a dead body. [789 words]
The Stair Case by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 6A. Several months after Anne and Andrew attend an airshow (which I haven't writ... [2,903 words]
Prelude To Separation by Shelley J Alongi In 1774 Thomas Jefferson penned a pamphlet that after some delay became the philosophical... [1,763 words]
Fear Of Water by E Rocco Caldwell What's is in out drinking water anyways? [637 words]
Calling by Shelley J Alongi Aviation story 16. Romance, roses, and a cool summer morning all give us a glimpse into how Anne and A... [1,580 words]
A Not So Ordinary Day by Shelley J Alongi Aviation story 15. A glimpse into the sometimes frazzled existance of a general aviation... [2,064 words]
For Love Of Lessons by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 13. Anne and Andrew Crance have lived in this house for about fifteen years ... [2,295 words]
Little Things by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 7A. Anne and Andrew's first year of marriage is a good one. Humor, ritual, and lo... [1,672 words]
Confidence by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 12. Andrew helps a passenger become more comfortable with flight. We get to see him ... [1,712 words]
When The Gods Were Walking The Earth- Part 2 by Nik Siromah - [3,605 words]
Waiting For Ethel by AlexandrovaK About a man who realises something when it is too late..... [1,404 words]
Vomiting On Tony by Xoggoth The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words]
Vanishing by AlexandrovaK A madman comes to terms with his madness...... [2,347 words]
Unanswered Letters by Skyler Drevan - [354 words]
They Always Come Back by Paolo Debernardi The ghost story of a dead husband who wants to see again his wife. [541 words]
The Young Tigers And The Sugar Lumps by Nik Siromah - [2,789 words]
The Waiting by Paolo Debernardi The tragic love of a guy who is waiting for his lover but everything turned tragically. [704 words]
The Voice Of Melodi by GutierrezJ - [2,641 words]
The Vampires' Club by HarryPotterAGHp The twist of fate to lead you to the Undead! [904 words]
The Two Bills by Xoggoth William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony by Xoggoth Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance. [1,377 words]
The Raid On Castle Storm by NeedhamT In an age of blades and magic, mighty forces battle for the command of the world. Thi... [1,676 words]
The More You Wish... by BransonA A short story about a man given a gift people dream about, only to find out it's not nearl... [370 words]
The Literal Day by G David Schwartz The Literal Day is a surreal true story of a day no one would want to live through. [1,926 words]
The Last Decision by J A Little A man has robbed a bank and now he has come outside and the police has surrounded him and he ... [410 words]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm by Xoggoth A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satani... [1,158 words]
The Fine Art Of Nitzing by Kathy Lafollett The rights of passage for both child and parent are numerous. This is one view of one ... [970 words]
The Door by Skyler Drevan Another addition to my 'Fable' collection. [287 words]
The Deetahgle by NeedhamT The ultimate vehicle is actually an animal bred with genetic engineering, a mix between a cheetah... [502 words]
The Briefcase by SidS It is about a soldier during the Kargil Conflict, his friendship with a journalist with a twist i... [825 words]
The Blue Insomnia by CalbayR A young man figures out his sad end as nobody's care and memory. [1,916 words]
The Beast Bar by HarryPotterAGHp It's a horror story with a gruesome end. You might find something in cmmon with your true monstro... [616 words]
The 5 Dollar Bill Story by NeedhamT Tells the story of how a 5 dollar bill travel through 3 totally different people. [986 words]
Success by Skyler Drevan Another part of my 'Fable' anthology. [275 words]
Speak Freely by Skyler Drevan This is another addition to my "Fable" anthology I am creating. [258 words]
Soup by Xoggoth A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words]
Some Body by Harvey Kennett Two lovers collide.... [220 words]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba
Rons, Socketers And Knots by HaulicaM A young man guides the tourists into the virtual reality (or into the real virtuality... [2,311 words]
Resident Evil: The Iniative by DonnJ - [351 words]
More Beautiful Than You by IngramAE A couple waiting on their daughter at a train station. [740 words]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions by Xoggoth A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words]
L'etranger by Nini A short story about living as a human being, realising how we view things from a very subjective poi... [1,057 words]
Let Me Be Your Friend by NilsonB Emily and her family have just moved into their new home, unaware that a psycho has escap... [5,002 words]
Lamb To The Slaughter by LloydT The story concerns a pop star, whose fans show him more appreciation than he bargins for ... [1,574 words]
Kulak by Nik Siromah - [2,613 words]
Jetel Forest by Steven T This is a short story I wrote for science class. I had to use certain words in the story, like wat... [336 words]
I Hate You, I Am Going To Kill You by LeighAN Jen hates something or someone, but she is going to kill it. [230 words]
Hoi, Hoi, Hoi, by Buxton A pitiful attempt at re-creating something that resembles The Clockwork Orange. Oh well here it... [286 words]
Heartburn by CalbayR Love Allergy anyone? Here's a comic take on a love phobic. [1,430 words]
Go Away! by Skyler Drevan She screamed louder than ever before. [254 words]
Exile Of Terror by Robert E Tadlock A galactic bounty hunter chases one of the most evil of demons. Earth will never be the same. [2,179 words]
End Of Season by Amelia R James The challenges and rewards of child rearing after a divorce. [690 words]
Dosvidanya by WigginP A short story about a mutiny aboard a Russian K-159 submarine. [1,134 words]
Disturbing Gift by Skyler Drevan This is a short story that has a taboo subject twist to it. Tell me what ya think. [262 words]
Devoted Husband And Father by Skyler Drevan - [268 words]
Delta Centauri by Paolo Debernardi The alien abduction of a man who will see life different from this experience. [1,593 words]
Blood Sister's by GutierrezJ - [1,473 words]
Awkward Osculation by StrawT The story of a boy, a girl, and a, well, read the bloody title. [762 words]
Arnie by Xoggoth A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work. [646 words]
Amnesty by Xoggoth A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere by Xoggoth Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words]
A Vampire's Mansion by J A Little Seven teens here about an old legend and they went to see if its true and they get the surp... [2,077 words]
A Stroll Through The Jungle by Lanaia Lee This is my first attempt at writing a short story I usually write poetry. [907 words]
A Good Citizen From Stillwater by Gerald L Bosacker A short story. [1,565 words]
A Capital Fart by Xoggoth The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words]
1 Part, When The Gods Were Walking The Earth by Nik Siromah - [3,832 words]
The Pursuit Of Happiness by Shelley J Alongi A hot, humid night in Philadelphia sets the course for the coming centuries as Thomas ... [1,102 words]
The Wild Flee by Rae An ode to imaginary friends. [471 words]
The Way It Is by Daniel Jake Progress is in the eye of the beholder. [436 words]
The Legend Of Pygman by David Clark Long ago in ancient Greece there lived a hero that toppled an empire, freed a nation, and ... [4,545 words]
The Hunter And It's Prey by E Rocco Caldwell - [446 words]
The Hunger by David B Doc Byron An ancient planet/entity/being voices it's opinion. [243 words]
The Game by E Rocco Caldwell A contractor contracted to knock down the last vestment of baseball learns the power of the game. [1,838 words]
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The Empty Room by Norman A Rubin Loneliness in a furnished room except for memories. [2,359 words]
Still Unsolved by Richard Koss A successful mystery writer returns to his old home town and recalls an unsolved mystery he neve... [2,136 words]
She Had Her Dog With Her by Wolfa Fiction/vaguely fantasy short story about someone obsessed with a woman. [2,617 words]
Raidon Plains Pt 1 by Michael S Upchurch What's the difference, nobody reviews anything on this website anyway. [3,602 words]
Probing by Skyler Drevan This is a short story I wrote for my psychology class. It's written as a sadistic persona similiar to t... [1,489 words]
Pretty Mary Ellen by Norman A Rubin A missing little girl disappears and found dead after being violated by a sexual maniac. [1,588 words]
Nobody Heard Me by Harvey Kennett If you found this when you returned home, how would you react ? [577 words]
Moonlight Enchantress Part Ii by Martini The second chain of D.Donley's "The Moon Enchantress" [142 words]
Moonlight Enchantress Part 4 by D Donely Here we have it, the 4th installment of this CHAIN STORY. C'mon, you know you want... [330 words]
Hindsight by Johnny Moore "Hindsight" is a science fiction short-story that takes place on planet Pluto. Two astronauts are se... [1,300 words]
Gunning Down Romance by Emma Roberts The story is tragic and has a moral parrallel with the current high- profile topic of teen... [1,425 words]
Devastation by Buxton A one man journal piece, in the events after the end of the world.... [432 words]
Dead Letter Office - A Serial Short Story by David B Doc Byron A drug addled scientist attempts to create the perfect killing machin... [256 words]
Cryosleep by David B Doc Byron An ailen exacts his revenge upon his human oppressors. [386 words]
Codebreaker by E Thomas A historical fiction/science fiction story. This is based on the attempted takeover by Mary, Queen ... [4,363 words]
Child Murder by Skyler Drevan Another story written for my psychology class on a study in child criminalization in the last fift... [7,471 words]
Chicago Cutlery by Kathy Lafollett A glimpse in the life of utensily challenged mom. [1,229 words]
Cassius-The-Leg by Buxton A true story of a young squirrel's fight against repression and a day that would mark the end t... [648 words]
Can You Trust Us Strangers ? by Harvey Kennett Your life is not your own... [304 words]
Biding Its Time by Harvey Kennett Sometimes, you cannot rush Nature... [836 words]
A Trip To The Dentists' by Mulan A man shares his fear of the Dentist... comedy. [959 words]
A Sense Of Timing by E Rocco Caldwell - [564 words]
Ejaculating Jesus by Sean Scully Sinfully delicious. This story was semi inspired by a great novel called "Ten Thousand Sorrow... [1,987 words]
What You Deserve by Hope C Clarke A short story. [2,768 words]
Videotape by Skyler Drevan This is a short story I wrote after reading a particularly interesting book and was far too full of a... [7,472 words]
Two Lives by Theresa I am very family oriented, we have five generations living on both sides of our family-and it is quit... [823 words]
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The Living Truth by Deborah Coleman - [2,168 words]
The Last Exam by Jack Arnold A student sits pondering his life during his final school exam. [1,443 words]
The Invisible Wall! by Penny Groh - [595 words]
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The Father by Roxi Bri Love has no limits... [575 words]
The Butterfly's Cocoon! by Penny Groh - [384 words]
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Oh Shit (Pt 2) by D Donely Just the ending of the first part. About a night with my "stoner" friend. hehe. Don't ask... [808 words]
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Life Lessons! by Penny Groh Lessons in life I learned along the way. [620 words]
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TITLE (EDIT)
Sex Life Of The Amoeba
DESCRIPTION
A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little...
[1,108 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor
AUTHOR
Xoggoth
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
-
[March 2004]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (25)
A Capital Fart (Short Stories) The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words] [Humor]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere (Short Stories) Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words] [Mystical]
Amnesty (Short Stories) A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words] [Comedy]
Arnie (Short Stories) A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work. [646 words] [Humor]
Back To The Garden (Short Stories) Depressing the extent to which everything is being dumbed down these days. Poor state education? Is that all it is? [527 words] [Mind]
Changing To Go Out (Short Stories) In the aftermath of the genetic bomb, a simple night at the pictures with the missus is no easy task. [444 words] [Humor]
God's Trainees (Short Stories) Him upstairs is thinking of retiring, all he needs to do is train up some suitable replacements. Easier said than done. They just don't make deities the way the used to. [1,570 words] [Humor]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions (Short Stories) A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words] [Humor]
Providing For Sarah (Short Stories) A desolate man finds comfort in an imaginary (?) companion. But who will care for her when he's gone? [883 words] [Mind]
Soup (Short Stories) A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words] [Comedy]
The Adventures Of Archie 1 - The Great Escape (Short Stories) A sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Canterbury Tales sort of thing but sillier than the former and even more boring than the latter. In episode 1 our elderly rabbit hero escapes his hutch and disappe... [473 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 2 - The Little Demon's Tale (Short Stories) A hell spawned satanic creature identifies too much with men and falls to their level. [901 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 3 - The Spider Catcher's Tale. (Short Stories) Archie escapes from the paralysing purple and find himself in a world where an avoidable infestation has eaten all the perspective. There he meets the spider catcher and learns why ballroom dancing i... [1,313 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4a - The Great Regurgitato (Short Stories) Achie learns of the greats of bodily functions and meets the greatest of them all. [781 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [823 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 5a - The Army Surplus Salesman (Short Stories) Archie learns the truth they try and keep from us, that being disembowelled is fun, meets a descendant of the Piltdown man and travels to the army surplus fair to find Little Boy is no bargain. [913 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 6 - A Peaceful Solution (Short Stories) Following a Little Boy explosion Archie find himself on a desolate plain and meets two tribes who are too stupid to realise that war and bloodshed are by far the most efficient means of resolving disp... [1,271 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 7 - The Puzzleman's Tale (Short Stories) Archie finds he is not alone in the valley. He shares it with a man in a very strange prison. You have to endure a little homily on man's inhumanity to decorating materials first. [2,988 words] [Humor]
The Adventuresof Archie 5b - The Army Surplus Salesman's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [1,116 words]
The Fly And... (Short Stories) That Geoff Goldblum had it easy! One fly?? I should have been so lucky! [483 words] [Humor]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm (Short Stories) A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satanic being. [1,158 words]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony (Short Stories) Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance. [1,377 words]
The Two Bills (Short Stories) William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
Vomiting On Tony (Short Stories) The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words] [Humor]
Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too (Short Stories) Only the innocent find salvation. In the run up to the revelation the kids of St Crispin's Middle School are introduced to their own little salvations. PS I know Buddha was not a god, it's creative l... [1,442 words] [Humor]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba
Xoggoth

Alice the Amoeba had those urges again. It was reproduction time. And so she retired bashfully to her little hole in the dead spirogyra (1) cell and thought naughty division thoughts while palpating the gusset of her little pink nucleus. Uh, uh uh,uh uhhhhhhhhhhhh went Alice. Then Arnold and Anthea (2) lay back and had a smoke and got their breath back before oozing away.

Within an hour (3) of course Arnold and Anthea started to get those same unspeakable urges themselves. Arnold went back to the spirogyra cell that Alice had thoughtfully left him in her will (4). He got out his microscopic copy of Razzle and began looking at all the naughty pictures of single celled organisms. He stroked his pseudopodium. Some were posing with their contractile vacuoles (5) held open; some were even openly using their flagella (6). He was approaching his cytokinesis (7) aaaaahh!

Afterwards Algernon and Angela lay back and had a smoke and told each other it had been really great, probably their best division ever. Angela told Algernon his pseudopodium was one of the largest she had ever seen. Algernon told Angela she had a really great pair of pseudopodia (8). Vowing to keep in touch they oozed off into the pond.

And so it went on really, Algernon begat Aaron and Agatha, Aaron begat Arthur and Anastasia, Arthur begat Adam and Anita, Adam begat... (9) and so on down to the 1000th generation. Which took them well into teatime the next day (3).


Technical footnotes

1 That green slimy algae that you get in ponds. Especially ponds in chalky areas with plenty of sunshine and old lager cans.

2 All amoebas have christian names beginning with A. You are probably thinking this is just typically childish alliteration on my part but it is an established genetic fact. When amoebas split, the genomes are genetically identical to those of the parent amoeba except for a single strand of DNA that determines the amoeba's name. The first RNA fragment in this strand is fixed, hence the A. Similarly, Parameciums (10) have names beginning with P and Euglenas have names beginning with E. The fact that the scientific names and christian names begin with the same letters is a complete coincidence of course. It is very odd that this coincidence applies for all 6 million species but there you go. The rare Xenogium has quite a problem and scientists suspect this is why it is rare, the DNA division is slowed while the nucleus tries to come up with another unique name beginning with X. Most of them die of old age before they manage to reproduce.

3 This is a gross libel on amoebas. They are not nearly as promiscuous as that; the daughter cells are not ready for mitosis for another 24 hours. But my version sounds funnier.

4 Wills and legal contracts generally are defined by another DNA strand. This is consistent with the previous point that all DNA strands except name are identical. Obviously Arnold and Anthea had identical copies of the will; there would have been all sorts of legal complications otherwise. I do not know why Anthea was cut out of Alice's will. Science does not yet fully understand the emotional life of these primitive organisms.

5 For those of you who do not have O or even CGSE level biology, a contractile vacuole is a space within the cell of some single celled organisms that collects excess water and expels it periodically by contraction in order to maintain osmotic equilibrium. You can find similar dry scientific descriptions for various body parts of people. That does not alter the fact that these parts are VERY RUDE and casual examination of them and their functions is not done by nice people or nice micro-organisms whichever applies.

6 For the educationally challenged again (good grief, I bet some of you do not even have a DEGREE!) flagella are whip-like organelles used for locomotion by a class of protists known as the flaggellata. You may say, if these are organs of locomotion, that my approach, as usual, is just the sign of a prurient and dirty mind. Don't come the innocent with me sunshine, you know as well as I do, it's how you use these things that counts. You may be sure the subjects of such magazine pictures were not going for an innocent swim around the duckweed. Not with those leather masks on anyway.

7 Final cell division. Don't you know anything????? I really cannot be bothered to explain things even a child should know. Please refer to the definitive paper on this subject. "Cellular Mitosis in Eukaryotic Organisms" By Srulagna Chatterjee and Joseph Heinkel, Department of Biochemistry, Raisa Institute, CA, USA.

8 Well of course they both had pseudopodia, they are amoebas. What did you expect, human naughty bits? Maybe you are confused by the fact that one had a boy's name and one a girl's. This is just another facet of their genetic chemistry that science has not yet unravelled. It does not mean anything. My use of he or she in this learned treatise is just a convention.

9 I do apologise to any female readers for only following the male line but it would be very difficult to actually follow both lines. 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 etc. work it out for yourself. This post would go on from now until the apocalypse. Anyhow, if this approach was good enough for the bible (Genesis 25) it's certainly good enough for a humble atheist. If you have any complaints take it up with him upstairs.

10 I very much doubt you would know this one (good grief!) but the group protozoa is polyphyletic. That means it is not a well defined group of closely related creatures like birds or reptiles but just a rag bag of totally unrelated tiny things that the biologists could not be bothered to classify properly. Nowadays in fact, they just tend to lump them all with single celled algae and call them protists. Doesn't anyone even care about doing their job properly these days? Anyhow, to get to the point, paramecium is much more advanced than amoeba and can reproduce by conjugation in which two cells exchange nuclear material before splitting. Yes, it's practically proper rumpy pumpy as we know it! Paramecium are just visible to the naked eye but I hope this revelation will not cause you all to hang around your garden pond hoping to catch a glimpse of these goings on. Give the poor little creatures some privacy! I have a microscope myself. Fnaar fnaar. Saves me wasting petrol driving to the car park in the local woods.

 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 Xoggoth
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
August 2003
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
3540
 

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