AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (17) Anywhere The Wind Blows (Poetry) Just a short poem about moving on. [81 words] Can We Get A Wild Animal (Children) Childrens picture book [131 words] Dear Valentine (Poetry) Valentines Day poem to a girl I like. [171 words] Gonna Fly (Songs) Folky country loner type song. [92 words] It Used To Be Okay (Songs) A song that the verse writing was never finished, maybe never even started. [99 words] I've Been A Fool (Songs) Bluesy. First two verses of new song, verse, chorus and bridge to come, from where I don't know yet. Help [56 words] Rather Be Alone (Songs) -Country twangy song [140 words] Roofus (Part 2) (Children) Childrens [1,305 words] Roofus (Part 3) (Children) Childrens [923 words] Roofus (Part4) (Children) -Childrens story [1,345 words] Roxy The Mambo Monkey (Children) Childrens Book. Rhymes, rhymes and more rhymes, I just cant stop them. [599 words] South Side Of Town (Songs) Lonely country style ballad. [237 words] Summertime In California (Songs) Song about summer day in California. [125 words] Take Me To The City (Songs) Another slow mellow tune [77 words] Waiting There (Songs) Another mellow song [86 words] You And I (Summer Sky) (Songs) Mellow little song or poem about an old friend who's gone now. [57 words] Your Lovers Dreams (Songs) Old style spacey rock, somewhere between Riders on the Storm, TB Sheets and Sympathy for the Devil.(obviously nowhere near them) [97 words]
Roofus (Part 1) Patrick Fell
Saturday morning, when I was 10, was always the same.
A bowl of cereal, some cartoons, then yard work.
Leaf raking, poop scooping, lawn mowing and begonia watering.
It only paid 50 cents an hour,(breaking a few child labor laws)
but I needed the money. The back yard was small and I could finish
the chores in two hours. Now back then a dollar was pretty good
but I wanted a little more, I would need to milk the clock,(so to speak).
I began to invent little watering games to pass some time.
There was, Fountain of Doom in the Kingdom of Flies,
Hurricaine Annie at Butterfly Harbour (only the little yellow butterflies, not
the big colorful ones), and my personal favorite,
Old Faithful, (episode 5), The Return of the Pigeon Geyser.
Well, this Saturday in paticular, the work and games are done and
it's only been an hour. I was bored and broke, when suddenly,
I'm surprised by a big, scruffy looking bird, dive bombing what looked
like a dragon-fly. It was like National Geographic showed up in my backyard.
This air attack could be just the ticket to perk up this "buisness as usual" morning.
There must be a way to take advantage of this unique situation.
Hmm...think.....think....Ahha!!!
A quick wardrobe change and a few props later,
Adam "Safariman" Windchaser, "The Worlds Most Famous Wildlife
Photographer In History" is on the scene.
Flown in from the Sarenspaghetti plains, (where I was filming something fantastic)
on a "special request" assignment, from the "King of the World."
Covertly parachuted into this backyard jungle with my trusty assistant, Roxy.
Wearing, travel faded jungle fatiques, with ammo belts of film cannisters
criss-crossing my chest, Pancho Villa style.
And my trademark, super-duper-zoomer- deluxe- all weather-multi-terrain camera,
around my neck.
Barking out orders, like,"lets hurry people, I dont want to lose this light",
"quiet on the set" and "work with me bird, if your hungry, show me hunger"!!!
As if on cue, that scruffy bird did not disappoint.
And me? Well you dont become "The Worlds Most Famous Wildlife
Photographer In History" by chance or luck. I was, as usual, on my game.
Zooming in, as the bird would do it's spiraling, menacing, death dives.
Nailing the shot, as the bird would come millimeters from snatching that dragonfly
out of mid air. Then, panning out as it made its threatening circles above,
all the while, meticulously framing the bird against beautiful backdrops
of trees and clouds.
Over and over again the bird would make its,"dog fight", like dive bombs.
I yelled to my assistant,"more film, MORE FILM" !!
She must have thought I said something else, because she ran over and
promtly began tearing the begonias out of the ground, (mans best friend, hmm..)
Back in the sky, another dive bomb and another near miss.
Now the birds circling became very focused, very determined,
never taking its beady little eyes off the dragon-fly.
Wait, time out.
Why do they call this thing a dragonfly?
It dosn't look anything like the dragons I've seen in the movies.
And it's only resemblance to a fly is that it flies.
Now the guy who named the "orange" knew a little something about
the desciptive nature of names. I assure you, the same guy did not
name the grapefruit. Did they think we wouldnt notice? Were the
professional name givers out sick that day?
And lady-bug ?? Thats got to be a little embarassing to roughly half of them.
While I'm at it, lets talk about the Moon.
Why does it not have a catchy, celestial name? Other Planets have Moons
and they're Moons have names. There's Europa, Titan, Calypso.
Some Moons even have people names, like Belinda, Rosalind and Ophelia.
Our moon is more important than any of them. It changes our tides,
helped guide our explorers (before G.P.S.) and inspires tons of art and romance.
Before man invented the watch, how did we keep track of time?
That's right, the Moon, well.. and the Sun, but the moon was there.
COME ON, PEOPLE OF EARTH, thats our Moon.
I dont think we are going to upset some "grand scheme"
in the universe by giving it a name.
In fact, by the power vested in me, I hereby name our Moon, George.
Objections? None? Good.
From this date forward, the Earths Moon will now be reffered to as George.
Case closed.
OK, time in.
As the bird was coming in for what appeared to be a sure hit,
something odd and surprising happened.
Some sort of projectile came flying through the air,(I thought it was a bean or a nut)
at an incredible rate of speed and whacked that bird right in the butt.
There was a loud squawk, a burst of feathers and the frienzied evacuation
of one frightened, though a little less scruffy, bird.
The "dramatic action" photo was spectacular but...I stopped in my tracks...
"what just happened"? There was no-one else was in my yard.
I was more than a little curious as to what was up.
Someone was going to have to investigate the matter.
I was going to need some help.
I looked around for my assistant.
Being "mans best friend", naturally, she wanted to help,
but, at the moment, she was just too busy,
tearing apart my last decent pair of flip-flops.
I was going to need an investigational expert.
I put down my camera and put on my hat and over coat and badge and became...
Submit Your Review for Roofus (Part 1)
Required fields are marked with (*). Your e-mail address will not be displayed.