Storymania Logo



Short Stories

Lost In Space...Beagle 2
The Happy Housewife by April Griffin A short but powerfull tale of a battered woman. [980 words]
Mind's Shadow by J Shartzer A teenager is engrossed in the search for the reason of his girlfriend's sudden suicide. [8,115 words]
Melancholy Polly by J Shartzer A young woman with a bizzare history is deeply affected by her mother's death. [1,579 words]
Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too by Xoggoth Only the innocent find salvation. In the run up to the revelation the ki... [1,442 words]
The Three Rotten Sisters by Christopher W Sorenson A funny short story about three snoody women who marry three fine gentlemen. In the e... [789 words]
The Markings Of An Angle by Narinder Bhambra A short story. [1,398 words]
The Fly And... by Xoggoth That Geoff Goldblum had it easy! One fly?? I should have been so lucky! [483 words]
The Difference-1 by Sukesh Srivastava An emotional story of sacrifices made for each other in the family. [4,595 words]
The Diary Of Mystery by Hazli Ghazali Collection of Hazli's short stories under the topic of mystery, a lot to think and discove... [3,982 words]
The Come Back by Bryan Meckley About a successful overdose. [2,157 words]
Ripple Effect by E Rocco Caldwell A scientist has discovered time travel or maybe his own descent into insanity. [838 words]
Providing For Sarah by Xoggoth A desolate man finds comfort in an imaginary (?) companion. But who will care for her when ... [883 words]
Pakistani Feast by Jerry Pat Bolton A man, alone in the jungles of Pakistani, become surrounded by a pride of tigers. [1,681 words]
Night Ride by P J Lawton A tired young man accepts a ride from a mysterious stranger. [1,463 words]
My Eternal Triangle by Erasmus Flynt - [710 words]
Monica's Pie by Paul B Kramer Reklon Harponip, a Turkish lad on his own in America, identifies with Monica Lewinsky's plight as ... [3,062 words]
Man Skin by Harvey Kennett When you sleep, what happens to your dreams ? [776 words]
Hell Is A Personal Place by Erasmus Flynt Each of us has a personal idea of Hell! [1,043 words]
Goodnight Sweet Kevin by Harvey Kennett It concerns me that we, as a species, follow trends and "buzzwords", and anyone who dares... [603 words]
God's Trainees by Xoggoth Him upstairs is thinking of retiring, all he needs to do is train up some suitable replacements.... [1,570 words]
Fury Of Steele by Robert E Tadlock The drug lords of Hong Kong are trying to take over L.A. But Hong Kong itself will feel the fury... [2,686 words]
Free Road by Deon Coetzee The possibility that life may be ended with a happy parting of one's shadow, ie. suicide, that is not... [194 words]
Food For Thought by P J Lawton Ever wonder where the food of the future will come from? [973 words]
Do You Remember Now? by E Daugherty - [703 words]
Did You Hear The One About The Three Icelandic Bishops by Gypsey Teague When you invite a guest into your home, be prepared for ... [493 words]
Death Walk by P J Lawton A space ship crashes on a lonely planet leaving the crew a long walk to safety. [1,147 words]
Changing To Go Out by Xoggoth In the aftermath of the genetic bomb, a simple night at the pictures with the missus is no e... [444 words]
Business Card by E Rocco Caldwell Madness can be in a simple telephone call. [723 words]
Back To The Garden by Xoggoth Depressing the extent to which everything is being dumbed down these days. Poor state educat... [527 words]
A Conversation With God by Kevin Myrick Basically, its a short story with sort of a twisted view on the whole walking with god ... [1,230 words]
The Music I Held by E Daugherty - [802 words]
Licorice Tea by Shelley J Alongi This is a story I havent' worked into my novel yet; it's how Rachel makes a decision to fall in lo... [3,590 words]
Victim by Gypsey Teague By the full of the moon, and the cloak of the night. There are some things that are better Kept in the l... [1,372 words]
Twisted Figures by Rae Just wrote it down as it came to mind.. no sense or anything :) [294 words]
Things To Do Before I Die by Gypsey Teague Everyone makes lists. Some mean more than others. [1,045 words]
The Waitress Fom Hell by Richard Koss The story of a patron's ongoing feud with an over-the-hill waitress. [750 words]
The Soldier by Solo A darkly lyrical tale of an old soldier seperated from his men behind enemy lines who takes on a mi... [8,019 words]
The Siege Of Tar Ebon by Dayne Edmondson This is a story of human kind's greatest hour of need. [2,501 words]
The Man I Call My Dad by Justin M Chapman A story about my dad that I wrote for a class. It tells about him. [979 words]
The Gatekeeper Of The Heaven by Partha Pratim Majumder Theme : Hypothetically, the concept of God,heaven etc. are all created by and pr... [2,419 words]
The Divine Inside Of Thoughts by Elroy Jamoke Lloyd Auto-bio piece... [4,442 words]
The Clearing by E Rocco Caldwell A simple ghost story that happens to be true. [783 words]
Spirits Revolt by Jack Roland Butter When Donna moves to her new Californian house she can't believe her luck. Soon she discovers tha... [1,079 words]
Simon Says: The Case Of The Singing Lady Blues by P J Lawton A hard-boiled private detective makes a fatal mistake. He can't ... [3,757 words]
Simon Says: Case Of Vengeance By The Letter by P J Lawton A hard-boiled private detective's past comes back to haunt him. [3,972 words]
Simon Says: Case Of The Deadly Diamond Dupe by P J Lawton A hard-boiled private detective reluctantly gets involved in a terr... [3,813 words]
Shadow Cat by John Caruso On a cold winter day a feral kitten wandered out of the wooded paradise surrounding our home in west... [22,470 words]
Roundabout Love by Kevin Myrick The story of two people who shouldn't be able to fall in love, but came together. [1,187 words]
Pyscho Librarian by Sarah Beresh About a librarian who was a Physco killer and told all her lil library kids about her past the... [1,849 words]
Not Much Like Christmas by Stephanie A Erickson A short story based on the song "Christmas By The Phone" by Good Charlotte. Also based ... [2,616 words]
Neighbors by Shelley J Alongi Aviation story. This story takes place before Andrew meets Anne in his spactacular early morning lan... [1,523 words]
Mom's Color Code by Partha Pratim Majumder Relationship between mother and son. The very intricate relationship that needs no description... [1,287 words]
Managing by Shelley J Alongi Twenty years after marriage, and despite life, Anne and Andrew still manage to hold everything togethe... [2,329 words]
Last Day by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Story 18. Anne and Andrew, a sinus headache, troublesome passengers, a frantic boss, and the ... [2,335 words]
Landing Part Two by Shelley J Alongi Aviation story. Relationship conflict. Melanie talks to Laura about Jeff. [1,765 words]
Landing Part Three by Shelley J Alongi Origins of the accident. Pleasant flight. [1,176 words]
Landing Part One by Shelley J Alongi Anaviation story. A pilot is caught between a rock and a hard place, literally, leading to a ... [1,637 words]
Landing Part Four by Shelley J Alongi Melanie is afraid. [1,480 words]
Landing Part Five by Shelley J Alongi Jeff's dream. [1,033 words]
Jolly John's Last Laugh by Partha Pratim Majumder In 1963 , A young Englishman bought an old Bunglow at the foothills of Himalayas near ... [2,437 words]
Is It Real Or Is It Memorex? by D G Williford You tell me... [82 words]
Billy And Jason by Ashley A Selsing Jason meets a new kid, Billy, who steals his things. At first they are enemies, but they then ... [1,382 words]
Back Page News by E Rocco Caldwell The thoughts of a dying US soldier on the road to baghdad. [805 words]
Attack Of The Sans by Randy Johnson A Space Warrior named Fland travels to a planet called Narburg and battles intelligent Slug ... [3,022 words]
An Encounter With Evil by P J Lawton A young man's search for the bizarre gets him a little more than he bargined for. [1,761 words]
A Season For Figs by Geraldine Winters A short story. [3,255 words]
A Hike by Jennifer Winter A short story. [875 words]
A Friend by Peter Izdebski I was like clay, so soft and yellow. I listened and followed because I didn't know that I could talk ... [917 words]

Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 [29] 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
Lost In Space...Beagle 2
The true story of Beagle 2 ?

Apologies to Yanks in general...
[1,105 words]
Science Fiction
Harvey Kennett
Wallace (We are Legion)
[November 2007]
[email protected]
Architects Of Our Own Demise (Short Stories) Man questions God for answers... and God replies... [369 words] [Horror]
Behind The Wheel (Short Stories) Tirenedness kills...take a break ! [556 words] [Horror]
Biding Its Time (Short Stories) Sometimes, you cannot rush Nature... [836 words] [Horror]
Birthday Boy (Short Stories) Younger children place a great importance to their Birthdays. An importance that adults should never underestimate... [967 words] [Horror]
Can You Trust Us Strangers ? (Short Stories) Your life is not your own... [304 words] [Science Fiction]
Divine Domain (Short Stories) The search for God takes many forms, not least of which is the Internet. A young man stumbles across God's Domain on the Web. This short story is the result of his "First Contact". [1,471 words] [Humor]
Eating Babies (Short Stories) Forgive the title...it just seemed appropriate for this disturbing little tale... [1,074 words] [Horror]
Elegant Provisions (Short Stories) Everyone is looking for the "perfect recipe"...here is a personal favourite...bon appetit ! [420 words] [Horror]
Eternal Diary (Poetry) Your clock is ticking... [123 words]
Goodnight Sweet Kevin (Short Stories) It concerns me that we, as a species, follow trends and "buzzwords", and anyone who dares to question the self-styled Hierophants of the Press and Govenment is crucified at the Altar of Supposed Freed... [603 words] [Science Fiction]
Man Skin (Short Stories) When you sleep, what happens to your dreams ? [776 words] [Horror]
Morning Comes (Poetry) Author’s Notes: This poem was written some 16 years ago, one morning when I woke from a beautiful dream. I imagined that my long-distance girlfriend who I only saw once a year was cuddled up in my ar... [65 words] [Romance]
Naming Of Farts (Poetry) Apologies to Henry Reed.... [243 words] [Humor]
Nobody Heard Me (Short Stories) If you found this when you returned home, how would you react ? [577 words] [Horror]
Some Body (Short Stories) Two lovers collide.... [220 words] [Humor]
The First Cut Was The Last (Short Stories) One man's irrational fear following a shocking discovery. [813 words] [Horror]
The Last Revelation (Short Stories) An alternative look at when we die... [883 words]
The Model (Poetry) ...incoming transmission... [167 words] [Science Fiction]
The Voyage (Poetry) We can all sail a calm sea, but life is about how we deal with the obstacles in our path. [130 words] [Self-Help]
This Golden Age (Poetry) I have met many folks who were unhappy with the time they were born in to. This poem is dedicated to them... [164 words] [Animal]
This Green And Sterile Land (Poetry) The UK coined the term "The Industrial Revolution". Once the wheel had turned full circle from unemeployment to employment and then back again, Britain eventually lost it's industrial edge and the fac... [154 words]
Words To Die For... (Short Stories) The story of one man's obsession with words.... [571 words] [Horror]
You Don't Have To Talk... (Short Stories) When you are shy, and cannot find the words to say, say nothing. [607 words] [Relationships]
Lost In Space...Beagle 2
Harvey Kennett


Beagle 2 calls a support troglodyte at Microsoft, asking for assistance during its final descent in to the hostile Martian landscape.


B2: "Hi. It's me. You know. Beagle2. The spiffy new Martian Lander that the Brits (God Save the Queen) have paid 30 million pounds to fly on a one-way trip to Mars."

MS Trog : "Yeah."

B2 : "Well, I'm having a spot of bother old chap. I don’t suppose you could help me could you ?”

MS Trog : “Have you got a support contract ?”

B2: “Er…I’m not sure. Hang on, I’ll check my records.”……”Ah yes, here it is…X05113971”

MS Trog “Ok..what seems to be the problem ?”

B2 : “Well, I’m on my final descent to Mars, hurtling through clouds of noxious gases at 873 mph, about to hit re-entry boosters and I’ve got a problem.”

MS Trog : “Ok. I’ll try my best to help. What seems to be the problem ?”

B2 : “I’ve, er, um, wet meself”

MS Trog : “I beg your pardon ?”

B2 : “Look, don’t laugh, but I’ve widdled myself. I couldn’t help it. I’m terrified. I’ve never done this before, not even in dry runs. No pun intended.”

MS Trog : “Right, er, um. I don’t think you’re the only one”

B2: “Sorry ?”

MS Trog : “Right. So, how can I help exactly ? Do you need an external consultant to visit you ?”

B2 : “I’m 170.2 million kilometres away, about to crash in to the Martian surface. Would that be a problem ?”

MS Trog : “Er..yeah. I think it might. You’ve reached the Local Support Desk in Redmond. We only cover the Seattle CBD.”

B2: “Oh. Do any other of your support teams cover further afield ?”

MS Trog : “You’ll have to forgive me, but I’m American. I have no concept of anything existing outside of the USA. Like the other 98% of my fellow Americans, I don’t have a passport and have never visited outside my own country. I could pass the call on to a satellite office in one of the other countries we own. Where did you say you were again, Beagle 2 ?”

B2 : “Mars. On the surface. In about 180 seconds anyway.”

MS Trog : “Mars…er…where is that exactly ?”

B2 : “It’s a planet. In the Solar System. Just past Earth going outwards from the Sun. If you get to Jupiter, you’ve gone too far and need to turn back.”

MS Trog : “Cool ! You’re in space ? Like Wow! Totally Awesome!”

B2: “Yes, yes, it’s all jolly exciting isn’t it ? You Yanks are very excitable fellows aren’t you ? Now, can we just focus on my dilemma please before I disperse my guts all over the Martian landscape like previous predecessors ?”

MS Trog : “Alrighty then. As I’m having a good day, I’ll help you out, little buddy.”

B2 :

MS Trog : “Hello ? You still there ?”

Little Buddy “Yes. I just had to reprogram my call sign. You’ve elected to call me some stupid name and I need to recognise it or else I won’t respond.”

MS Trog : “Er..ok. Right. So, you’ve wet yourself then ?”

Little Buddy : “Yes. I’ve jettisoned my last remaining 5 kilograms of propellant.”

MS Trog : “And what is your status at the moment ?”

Little Buddy : “I’d have thought that would have been bleedin’ obvious, even to a Yank or an MS Support Techie. I’m completely buggered.”

MS Trog : “I see. Well, have you tried rebooting ?”

Little Buddy : “Of course. But nothing’s happening”

MS Trog : “What Operating System are you running, dude ?”

Little Buddy :
MS Trog : “Oh dude, that’s sooooo last century. You want to be running Windows XP Pro.”

Dude : “Well, when I was conceived, that’s all that was available. It was the most up-to-date OS you guys did.”

MS Trog : “Sorry dude, it’s just sooooo pooched that the US Military bought it off Microsoft to install on enemy systems as counter-electronic warfare.”

Dude : “So there is nothing you can do ?”

MS Trog : “Well, I could email you a patch, but to be honest, it’s bigger than the OS put together and it doesn’t work anyway.”

Dude : “I see. So now what ?”

MS Trog : “Hang on, I’ve just had Bob, one of the Senior Tech Support guys drop a note on my desk. These guys are good. They’re guru-level. Bob’s been in Tech Support for 3 weeks now.”

Dude : “Well, that’s a comfort.”

MS Trog : “Cool. Let’s see. Ok, here we go. Bob says “Deploy the Solar Wing Panels”

Dude : “What about my parachute ?”

MS Trog : “Er…ok…try that then.”

Dude : “Are you sure ? I’m not meant to deploy until I get 1 mile above the surface.”

MS Trog : “Should be fine. Article number Q199231 says it’ll be ok. I can fax it to you if you like ?”

Dude : “No thanks. I don’t have a fax on board. I’m a frickin’ Martian Rover not a Recruitment Consultant.”

MS Trog : “Ok dude. Give it a try.”


MS Trog : “How’s it going dude ?”

Dude “It seems to be working. I’m slowing down. I’m floating down to the surface at normal speed.”

MS Trog : “Way to go, dude !”

Dude : “I made it ! I’ve landed on the surface ! And I’ve avoided all rocks and obstacles ! I’m clear ! Yippee !

MS Trog : “See ? Wetting yourself wasn’t such a bad thing after all, dude. We all get a bit loose when faced with a challenge of epic, life-threatening proportions. What mattered was that you pulled through when it counted and you’ve made it safely on to the Mars-thing when you needed to. I’m proud of you dude, I really am.”

<<< THUNK >>>

MS Trog : “Hey dude ? You still there ? Dude ?”

As the camera pans out over the extreme Martian landscape, we see an alienesque looking heap of junk, Earth-like in origin, bearing the words “Beagle 2”, sitting on the Martian soil, speared by a 15’ long icicle of propellant straight through the external housing and central processor….



Submit Your Review for Lost In Space...Beagle 2
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.

Your Name*     E-mail*

City     State/Province     Country

Your Review (please be constructive!)*

Please Enter Code*:

Submit Your Rating for Lost In Space...Beagle 2

Worst     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     Best

© 2004 Harvey Kennett
December 2006

Copyright © 1998-2001 Storymania Technologies Limited. All Rights Reserved.