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Surrender by Taylor Triste - [149 words]
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Last Caress
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TITLE (EDIT)
Last Caress
DESCRIPTION
A story about a guy and his lost love.

I wrote this in about an hour. needs refinement. looking for constructive criticism. ill update it with the refined version soon.
[1,119 words]
AUTHOR
Kimball
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
-
[February 2007]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (5)
A Job Well Done (Short Stories) This is about a guy who has a unique way of getting people to reach nirvana. this is just telling how he manages to change one persons life forever. [2,488 words]
Ali�ve (Short Stories) Just a little story I wrote when I was bored one night [606 words]
My Last Addiction (Short Stories) A story about a young guy and his life's addiction. [1,265 words]
The Love Of A Mother (Short Stories) A story I wrote last year, but never got around to submitting. [1,253 words]
Unrequited Love (Short Stories) A drunken rewrite of a previous story. [674 words]
Last Caress
Kimball

I miss her. I can�t remember the last time I saw her. She�s been gone for so long now. Oh, how I miss her.

I�m talking about Rebecca. We had a wonderful life together. At least I thought we did. Our lives seemed perfect. I loved her and she seemed to love me.

I suppose I should start from the beginning. I met Rebecca on campus almost two years ago now. She was a senior on her way to graduating with a major in psychology and I was a freshman not sure what I was doing or even if college was the way for me. I had spent my high school years working at multitude of different jobs learning such important skills as how to run a copying machine and how to make the perfect cup of coffee. The uneducated work life just didn�t seem to be for me so I was left with two choices, join the military or go to college. Since I didn�t have a violent bone in my body, I decided to try college. Got decent grades on the SAT�s and got accepted into Turnball University. I had picked Turnball because it was just a couple hours away from my home town Milkoy.

Okay back to Rebecca now. I had seen her a few times on campus and she always caught my eye. Her dark brown hair was just perfection. Her smile was breathtaking. Her body would make a goddess jealous. I decided I had to have her. The only problem was that I was too shy to approach her. I kept working up to courage to talk to her, only to chicken out at the last minute. I had listened (eavesdropped) to enough of her conversations with friends to know that she was single, so I wasn�t worry about being turned down because she had a boyfriend. I was scared she would turn me down because I wouldn�t be good enough for her.

In the end, I didn�t need to worry. It was about mid-October before I managed to get the balls to ask her out to a movie. She had smiled and said yes. Ah, that smile. I would have died to make her smile. Well our first date went ok (I think we saw Kill Bill). While I�m sure I didn�t make a great impression on her, I was spared making a total ass out of myself. Count your blessings. Our next few dates went better, and I felt she was starting to care about me. I was defiantly crazy about her. On our fifth date (November 7, I�ll never forget that date) she took me back to her place. I won�t go into the details, because some things should remain sacred, but I will tell you it was heaven. For me at least. She seemed pretty pleased too. I�ve always tried to give more than I take. While Rebecca wasn�t my first, she was by far the best, and might be the last. All I know is that no girl will ever mean the same to me. Her absence has left a hole in my heart that can never be filled.

We had only been dating a few months when our first Christmas together came around. I had saved up a few hundred dollars and bought her a bracelet that I hoped she would love, but feared she would hate. When she opened up the box and I saw the tears running down her face, I knew I wanted nothing else but to make her happy. She had gotten me few CDs and a sweet kiss on the lips. I want her back so bad.

The months went by and I still didn�t know what I wanted to do with my life. Besides make Rebecca happy that is. God I miss her. She had graduated near the top of her class and was looking for a respectable place to send in her r�sum�. I was working two low paying jobs that allowed me to barely make ends meet. Sometime in June I moved into her apartment and things got a little easier. Rebecca was an only child and her parents took good care of her, including paying her rent. For July 4th she took me up to Wilford to meet her folks. They didn�t seem to approve of me too much, but tolerated me because they didn�t want to make Rebecca mad. I�ve seen her parents only a couple times since she�s been gone, and none of those encounters are something I want to go through again.

The next year went by in a breeze, a flurry of ecstasy. Rebecca managed to get a job working at some large company that I had never heard of before. She helped all the company�s employees work out their issues so they could become even more productive. It wasn�t the greatest job in the world but it paid well enough. I was thinking about majoring in journalism and had signed up for the necessary classes. I had a busy schedule but I didn�t mind. I was never bored at least. On campus I was kept busy trying to keep my grades up, and at home I was busy loving Rebecca. Now that�s all gone. My life has come to a stop since she�s been gone. I miss her so much.

When I was in my sophomore year we started discussing marriage. I was thrilled when she brought it up. I had known I wanted to marry her pretty much from the beginning, but knowing she wanted the same was very pleasing. We had the details all planned out. A big spring wedding. Lots of family and friends. A beautiful white dress. I wanted it to be perfect for her. Sadly that day never came. She left me before that spring ever came around.

As our second Christmas rolled around I was given another great present. Rebecca told me that she was pregnant. We were wanting to have kids soon after we got married, but an early gift is still a gift. I hugged her tight and felt hot tears running down my face. I told her I wanted to have a big happy family with her and that I never wanted to let her go. She cried and said she wanted the same. I never even got to see that baby.

I don�t like being all alone. How did I go from having it all to having nothing? Why must I cry myself to sleep on this hard mattress every night? Why did she have to go away? What will I do with myself now that she�s gone?

I don�t know why I killed her.

 

READER'S REVIEWS (6)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.

"Wow, impressive stuff....you lead the reader in straight away, and left me hanging on at the end...what happened, why did he kill her, and why is he not in prison. I want to read part II?? Good work, hope to see more:)" -- Buxton.
"You took me by suprise on that one. Guys are crazy. I guess there is still no hope to finding a perfect guy.You just proved that they hurt or in this case kill the chic they love...(LOVE SUCKS)" -- Amanda, Sequim, Washington, US.
"Excellent stuff....i really liked this one...thought it was well written, and good flow, this really left me on the edge..what happened next?" -- Tom bomb.
"i leave that up to the reader. i always liked stories that left you thinking." -- matt.
"Brilliant! You really made it easy for me to visualise it with such great detail!(my jaw was open the inire time i was reading it, no joke!)...Tell me why he did it, go on!!! " -- Siobhan , Yeovil, somerset, England.
"i can't tell you. two reasons. i think it would ruin the story. two, he doesnt know so i dont know. whyever u think he did it is right." -- matt.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2005 Kimball
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
May 2005
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2372
 

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