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Time Enough For You by Lawrence Peters - [103 words]
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Just After I Got Him To Sleep
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A Monument To Time And Stonehenge by David Soriano A collection of verse. [1501 words]
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TITLE (EDIT)
Just After I Got Him To Sleep |
DESCRIPTION
-
[135 words] |
AUTHOR
Tara Augeri |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I am 27 years old and an Adult Education teacher in Massachusetts. I have a son who is 2 1/2 years old. I am continuously working on my poetry and looking for reviews of my work. I am always looking for constructive reviews that will help me become a better writer.
[August 2002] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected] |
Just After I Got Him To Sleep
Tara Augeri
Downstairs,
there are pieces
of a child�s puzzle,
scattered and misshapened,
across my living room floor.
I looked upon these
trivial
notable toys
and wanted some
evidence to back up my
existence within
these walls.
Everyday,
the house needs to be
cleanse of the tedious
responsible family life,
only to be brought back to
youthful chaos and blind education.
The thoughts of the next day
buzz in my tired head
only to be dropped
fast
so I may go to prepare
for tomorrow�s sacrifice.
I hope to get to bed and get enough
sleep
so that I will remember not
to yell
when I trip over the plastic dinosaur
that was left in the middle of the kitchen.
I hope to get enough sleep
so I can look as though
motherhood hasn�t run her
car over me a hundred times.
I wish that I can cope with
the stress.
I pray that I will find myself
again.
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READER'S REVIEWS (3)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Tara May I suggest that you try reading and writing more, it is not only theraputic but also an excellent way of honing your skills. Try to give your readers more reasons to want to read your work! Positive affirmations will not only make you feel better but also allow for a little light at the end of the tunnel! Keep writing and don't give up on your dreams." -- Monte, USA.
"Tara: May I suggest you totally disregard the "review" by Monte? I found your poem to be charming, funny -- and slightly frightening. Very real, good, concrete details. Nice." -- tom scanlon, seattle, wa, usa.
"Tara, I'm kind of between Monte and Tom Scanlon. I have current, first hand experience of what you're writing about, and, mostly, you're quite on the money. But there is something missing. I think the rythym is off and there are too many words. I mean, you have words that do not do much. Everyday, the house needs to be cleanse of the tedious responsible family life, only to be brought back to youthful chaos and blind education. The above, for instance. I like the idea of cleansing away tedium. The rest is many words that do not quite make the experience poetical or remarkable. The thoughts of the next day buzz in my tired head only to be dropped fast so I may go to prepare for tomorrow�s sacrifice. This too takes too long. Besides, it seems to hold contradictory ideas for no good reason. Basically, it's: I'm too tired to think and need to get ready for tomorrow. As is, not poetical, in my opinion. I hope to get to bed and get enough sleep so that I will remember not to yell when I trip over the plastic dinosaur that was left in the middle of the kitchen. Why not: I hope to get enough sleep to remember... I like this part, the idea. Wouldn't have put it like that myself, but I find myself doing just that many times. (My daughters are 2 years and 8 months old). " -- Dusan, Chicago, IL, USA.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2002 Tara Augeri |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
August 2002 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1901
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