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Cubie
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TITLE (EDIT)
Cubie
DESCRIPTION
This is a revised version of a scene I had written for my sitcom "McDaniel's" (a sitcom about the fast food industry). I wrote this version for possible use in a student project I had agreed to help with. That student project was a mock-informercial about a product called Cubie, a 9-step program to success. This scene ended up being deleted before production. Still a little amuusing, though.
[346 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Comedy
AUTHOR
Nathan Weaver
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Oops; somehow I erased this. Bum wrap. I'll update it later. Right now, I'm peeved.
[December 2006]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (9)
A True Story About A Very Young And Naive Nathan Weaver (Short Stories) The title says it all. A short, true story about myself from childhood. Ah, Innocence, where have you gone? [346 words] [Comedy]
Family Secret (Screenplays) This is a short film in the fasion of "The Twilight Zone." [1,056 words]
Inbox (Short Stories) The first in a series of short horror stories. I can't say much without spoiling anything. Just check it out. [688 words] [Horror]
Inbox 2 (Short Stories) The second in the series. The roommate. [1,081 words] [Horror]
Mcdaniel's (Screenplays) "McDaniel's" is a sitcom I've been working on for a while. It revolves around characters working in a restaurant called McDaniel's. The two main characters (thus far) are Natalie and Brandy. This i... [1,776 words] [Comedy]
Noir - Sadistic (1) (Short Stories) Noir styled first-person narrative. A man beaten, recalls how he came to where he is and describes it all in a word... Sadistic. More to come. [690 words] [Crime]
Rose's Thorn: Rise And Fall Of A Hero (Novels) UPDATED 11-06-06. ADDED CHAPTERS 8-10. This is a story that is very personal to me in a lot of ways, despite it's obvious fiction. A young girl expresses herself and tells her story, as she tries t... [6,097 words] [Fantasy]
The Legend Of The Commodore: And Hell Followed With Him (Short Stories) A young boy with a talent turns fantasy to reality and becomes legend. [1,133 words] [Fantasy]
Untitled Noir Tv Pilot (Drafting) (Screenplays) Basically, Mercedes Masterson is a private detective and this the first pilot. The character comes from a film noir trilogy I'm working on. We've filmed the first, half-way through filming the secon... [998 words] [Crime]
Cubie
Nathan Weaver

AN OFFICE. ENTER NATALIE, ELDERLY GENTLEMAN sits behind the desk.

NATALIE
Hello, sir. (shakes ELDERLY GENT�S hand as he rises)

ELDERLY GENT
Natalie, is it?

NATALIE
Uh, yes, sir.

ELDERLY GENT
Do have a seat.

SHE SITS.

NATALIE
Thank you, sir.

ELDERLY GENT
A few questions about your resume, which I read� a little.

NATALIE
Shoot� sir.

ELDERLY GENT
Are you secure in� what�s the word? Secure in your�

NATALIE�S jaw is on the floor, afraid of the obvious innuendo.

NATALIE
What letter does it start with?

ELDERLY GENT
I believe it starts with an �S�. Yes, that�s right. Are you secure in your� your�

NATALIE
(regretfully fills in the blank) Sexuality, sir?

ELDERLY GENT
No� no. PHOTOGRAPHY! It wasn�t an �S�. That�s what was getting me. (PAUSE) Sexuality? (grunts in disgust)

NATALIE
(eager now to makeup) Yes.

ELDERLY GENT
Would you consider yourself a virgin?

NATALIE
I�m not sure I understand what you are getting at?

ELDERLY GENT
(to the point) Are you a virgin? (awkward pause) Would you consider yourself a veteran?

NATALIE
I� do I have to answer this?

ELDERLY GENT
Just a simple question.

NATALIE
I wouldn�t consider myself a veteran, no� I�m a virgin.

ELDERLY GENT
Well, then why would I want to hire you?

NATALIE
YOU�RE NOT GOING TO HIRE ME BECAUSE I�M A VIRGIN!?

ELDERLY GENT
Plenty of other WELL qualified applicants have already been in this office.

NATALIE
Just let me get one thing straight before I walk out that door and SUE YOU. Are we talking about my experience as a photographer or are we talking about my sex life?

ELDERLY GENT
(shocked) SEX?! Of all the cockamamie�

FREEZE FRAME. Letters appear on screen, �BAD.�

NARRATOR VOICE OVER
Never be caught making this mistake. Remember, the employer is always right. Now, let�s back up and try that again with a little help from Cubie..

BACK TO NATALIE making entrance.

NATALIE
Sup?

ELDERLY GENT
Natalie, is it?

NATALIE
Right on.

ELDERLY GENT
Do have a seat.

SHE SITS.

NATALIE
Don�t mind if I do.

ELDERLY GENT
A few questions about your resume, which I read� a little.

NATALIE
Try me.

ELDERLY GENT
Are you secure in� what�s the word? Secure in your�

NATALIE
Absolutely.

ELDERLY GENT
Would you consider yourself a virgin?

NATALIE
Absolutely not.

ELDERLY GENT
I like you, Kid.

NATALIE
I can�t see why!

ELDERLY
You�re hired!

NATALIE turns and looks at the camera.

NATALIE
I had to sell my soul, but now I�m rolling in cash. Thanks, Cubie, I owe ya one� well, millions actually.

END SCENE

 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2006 Nathan Weaver
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
November 2006
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1769
 

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