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TITLE (EDIT)
An American Summer
DESCRIPTION
- [7,002 words]
AUTHOR
Olef Ransom Saulles
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
- [November 2004]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
illinoispayson@yahoo.com
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (19)
Americas Burning, Excerpt. (Poetry) From a longer, unfinished poem. [239 words] Being (Poetry) Poem [124 words] Bosstwon, Massojoos-Hits. (Poetry) My first chapbook. Looking for a publisher. [1,163 words] Daredevle (Poetry) 'they're' is intentional. I am striving for a three-dimensional quality to my writing. The rules of grammar are not always adhered to. [595 words] Excerpts From Jury Duty, 1999 (Genres) - [1,473 words] Happenstance At 79th And Broadway (Poetry) The Dublin House, NY. [154 words] I Am My Own Greatest Enemy. (Poetry) - [16 words] I Am The Depiction Of A Soul Unraveled (Poetry) - [90 words] I Had No Idea Misery Compounded (Poetry) - [161 words] Jeremiah (Poetry) A ballad concerning man and meaning. [378 words] Jkpayson (Poetry) - [53 words] Karen . . . (Poetry) - [85 words] Laid Heavy In The Suicide Chair (Poetry) - [35 words] My Blood Spills Out. (Poetry) - [80 words] On The Water's Skin (Genres) - [821 words] Poek (Genres) - [1,307 words] Poem Thread (Poetry) - [110 words] Proverbs Of A Mountain Man (Genres) - [736 words] Sonnet (Poetry) - [81 words]
READER'S REVIEWS (2)DISCLAIMER: STORY M A N I A DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Dear Saulles An American Summer Early in the text you told the reader that the work is only of interest to your wife and yourself. I have to say that you are wrong on this point. Speaking personally I was interested to read about your drive across America (or some of America). I am in the UK. My view is that the writing has potential but needs some work to make it more appealing to others, and easier to read. I hope you find the comments helpful, if not they are well intended. Beginnings You have to grab the readers attention and make them want to read on. Describing your passenger without immediately identifying her does this , it made me curious. I didn`t understand the part about the darkness. I think rather than learning about your practical preparations, I would have liked to know briefly why you were going. Preparations are tiring and stressful, maybe for the benefit of the reader you could focus less on that and more on the feelings of freedom and release from stress when you left. I think that people read to escape the humdrum, and a piece like yours to escape, i.e. in their imagination they want to be where you are going. The main text As this is an account of a drive this is a useful way of moving the writing along. To obtain the interest of outsiders I think you should focus more on things that are out of the ordinary, and how , for example the landscape changes as you drive through it. How does this affect you. How does it affect your relationship, if at all. Dialogue may help here. There are lots of facts and figures, eg. dates, names, that I thought didn`t work. If you want to show the movement of the trip by date maybe this would work better by headings. I`m not sure. Ref. the car being full, better I think to say so, "e.g. the boot was bursting" rather than individually listing items. Why were you tired of Deer? This would interest me? Did you run out of toilet rolls? This could be funny. I don`t think it`s necessary if you want to attract readership to account for all your movements, just the ones that moved you. The End How did the trip affect you. What was your most significant part. Would you go again, would you recommend it? I hope the above ideas are helpful to you. I am also an amateur writer, but am a fairly normal person that reads the above type of article. Good luck, keep writing !!!! Best wishes," -- Jennifer Hill.
"I hate running out of toilet rolls, especially after a nice hearty dump!" -- R. Bennett.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 1999 Olef Ransom Saulles
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
May 2001
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1228