The Blues And The Greens by Steven Gilbreath A story of waking up from under the electric blanket of modern life. [1,804 words]
Missing - A Short Story by Steven Gilbreath Passing your days by doing only enough to satisfy what is expected can lead to a life n... [1,475 words]
The Man Who Walked Unseen by Michael Harris An account in the exploits of the life of the unseen... [1,457 words]
Salvation by Krige Van Rensburg Salvation is a story that deals with everyday emotions but also the severity thereof in different con... [2,123 words]
Solef by Wolfa Genetically modified monster escapes onto the surface of a harsh alien planet. More sci-fi. Wee. Consi... [1,684 words]
What A Night by Stephanie Ostrov This is a short story I wrote about a fraternity guy and the trouble he is going through with this... [1,260 words]
Victory City 2 by Matthew Little In the future, an enemy from Cool's past decides to turn the civilians of Victory City into his ... [5,645 words]
Veiled Enigmas by Reagan Rothe Vieled Enigmas is a twisting, turning mystery with surprise lurking around every corner. The rea... [4,972 words]
The Trinity by Silas Montgomery The galaxy is in chaos, systems at war with systems, and revolution within systems. The Lord of a p... [2,360 words]
The Spark by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [557 words]
The Rosary by Sue (Sooz) Simpson May cause offense. [422 words]
The Parallels by Jason Richard Mercer - [1,247 words]
The Marching Man by Norman A Rubin A holocaust survivor driven to madness in search of his family lost in the melee of the second... [2,001 words]
The Beloved Child by Julissa Gayle Raven A short story about vampires. I made up my own rules. Hope you like it, it's probably going... [1,287 words]
The Beloved Child (Chapter 2) by Julissa Gayle Raven Chapter 2 my story. It should open upa world of comprehension to the readers. [1,210 words]
Terrarium Life by Wolfa Surrealistic dystopia. More sci-fi. Needs improvement, of course, but I decided to post so you... [1,684 words]
Solitaire by David B Doc Byron An abused child seeks solace in her own little world. [952 words]
Sally by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [2,268 words]
Rush Hour by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [419 words]
Play With Me Please. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [322 words]
Octavia's Obsession by Michael Harris This story is about... Octavia's obsession... [2,237 words]
My Other Mother by C Crawford Very short story on my thoughts of adoption. Written in 10 minutes. [619 words]
Money Shot - Chapter 1 by Rob Nhim Old con and bank robber extrordinaire Fred Cantrell just can't resist trouble. Doing th... [1,082 words]
Lookingthrough The Window by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [401 words]
I Dreamed... by Ami I dreamed this bizarre, surreal scene, and when I woke up, I ran from my bed to write it down. I ... [1,886 words]
Hearts by David B Doc Byron - [264 words]
Glory Days by Kelley Sullivan A short story about a father who loks back to his childhood years of football and now he is watching... [862 words]
Cold Wonder by Julissa Gayle Raven Another short story I wrote on whim. Its written from a man's point of view just to let you know. ... [427 words]
You Have Been Pre Selected... by August Bondi The dream that everyone has about "the one that got away." [673 words]
Wheatley's Last Wish Chapter Two by Drakeman Robert Kincaide - [1,013 words]
Uncle Marty by David B Doc Byron An invalid Uncle pays another visit to his favorite nephew. [1,165 words]
The Long Ride Home by David B Doc Byron An alien from another world gets captured and examined. [574 words]
The Colonel by Dustin Rhodes The tale of a Confederate Officer at the battle of Fredricksburg. [2,729 words]
The Accident On Lane 17 by Steven T Andy Clannons friends Sharon and Maggie are causing chaos during a field trip to a bowl... [4,154 words]
Tears Of Red. by Julissa Gayle Raven Originally a school assignment, but I took it a step farther. All my friends (and that's a lot) ... [3,565 words]
Sister by Cass About a girl who loses the person who she adored the most-her sister, during a war but when her sister r... [1,594 words]
Our Trip To California by Michala McMonagle This is a short story about my family trip to California [431 words]
My Summer Vacation by S Spencer This story is about a child's special vacation with his family. [366 words]
My Inspiration by Amy Mondure Lioncourt About how in the end the smallest things can mend the biggest wounds. [247 words]
Mold My Brain by Ana Soto The following story illustrates how a child needs to be molded in order to become a successful ad... [324 words]
Just Me by Stormy The story of a little girl home from the hospital. You would think her parents would be happy to see he... [888 words]
Gulf by Ed Bruce How the Gulf Stream united two families from different continents, only to find that their family problems... [3,862 words]
Good As Gold by Stormy Getting good grades in high school shouldn't have been a bad thing. [2,359 words]
Gamepoint - A Short Short by David B Doc Byron a fighter narrates a story about his life in the ring. [546 words]
Ekim by Katherine Gehl Donovan A short story about a guy at my school who I am really close to. Or was. [1,061 words]
Day In The Life Of The Clinically Insane by Jessica Ann Zidik For: All of those who thought they knew me. [2,232 words]
Cuban Term Paper Crisis by Kurt Kitasaki A satire on Cuban-American relations. [2,845 words]
Celebrating Life by Rowan Davies A collection of stories through the viewpoints of different people that interlink to show how ... [6,755 words]
Blood Is Thicker Than Water by David B Doc Byron Two vampire siblings learn how to help each other in their time of need. [674 words]
When Its Not Set In Stone by Alla Lapidus A 3-part historical fantasy set at Stonehenge. [8,546 words]
What Are You Thinking About? by Darcy K Metz Has your girlfriend ever asked you that question before? The usual response from a... [1,028 words]
Victory City by Matthew Little Many years after a hero fell to his death, his legacy will continue on in a child to fight a deadl... [5,719 words]
Treats From Heaven by Ashley Cook Lily dies and goes to Heaven. She has to decide between two doors. This is a sort of Alice i... [2,533 words]
The Myriad Slip by Salai G Prit Narcotics, sensuality, cruelty and a flat full of people asleep... the musings of a christmas m... [695 words]
The Mark Of Jack by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The start of something maybe. [1,044 words]
The Jax (Episodes 1-5) by Matthew Little Creatures taking over the human race and only few people know of the impending doom. Us... [4,382 words]
The Fear Within by Musau A former hit man goes back home to reflect on his career, and then he is thrown aback! [1,740 words]
The Butterfield Stagecoach Mystery by D Donely This is actually a story written by my father. It is based on the legends of... [698 words]
The Birth Of My Baby Brother by J Labarre A college student looking back and remembering what it was like to have a new baby... [972 words]
Teeth by Fergus O'Ferguson Sometimes, with regard to the imagination, it is frighteningly easy to become a fool. One man here become... [1,344 words]
Sleeping Silently by D Donely A girl tries to discover who killed her best friend. [3,429 words]
Simple Jack by Norman A Rubin A backward youth had been jailed for the accidental death of his mother he committed by crushing he... [3,144 words]
Signs by Gina Smith - [1,005 words]
Pandora's Bottle by Judith Goff First love, last love... [5,004 words]
One Night In Bangkok by A Johnson A partial chapter of my unfinished novel of the same name, this story relates the protago... [1,670 words]
Of Peppermints And White Knights by Stormy I took my first drink at age 10. [2,179 words]
No One To No Where by Alina Marquez Short story about a woman on a greyhound bus to El Paso. [1,269 words]
My Life And Some Stuff by Jerry Puryear - [740 words]
My Best Friend by S Spencer "My Best Friend" is my twin sister. I share with you the joy and uniqueness of baing a twin and ... [567 words]
My Best Friend Colleen by Mary Belletatto How two people meet and become best friends through college. [1,478 words]
Ivan's Out Of This World Odyssey by Alex M Sam Young boy elf and friends travel to the land of the dragons. In order to retur... [1,941 words]
Image by Beth Foley A short story. [574 words]
I Have A Problem by Christina Soderberg I was addicted to diet pills. [928 words]
High Tension by Norman A Rubin The short story tell of an elderly woman who thinks light bulbs leak. The copy will give the backg... [1,901 words]
Girl Scout Adventures by Sarah This piece was written for my Reading and Literature in Elementary schools class that I a... [729 words]
Dine In... Or Take Out by D Donely This is a short little story I wrote when I was bored. It's about a Detective trying to ... [1,597 words]
Cape May by Bastiani - [612 words]
A True Best Friend by Colleen Klose Story about the impact of my sister on my life. [537 words]
A Mermaid's Heart by Teresa R Lucas The tale of a mermaid's love and how it was lost and found. [1,984 words]
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Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive).
Sue (Sooz) Simpson
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-)
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84)
A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery]
A Twist In The Tail (Short Stories) - [963 words]
Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy]
Angel Stew (Short Stories) The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words] [Comedy]
Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words]
Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama]
Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama]
Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama]
Barriers (Short Stories) Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words] [Thriller]
Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror]
Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy]
Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words]
Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words]
Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama]
Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama]
Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama]
Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama]
Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama]
Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words]
Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words]
Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama]
Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama]
Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama]
Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy]
Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama]
Furtive Glances (Short Stories) Always the last to know! [891 words] [Drama]
Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama]
Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy]
I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind]
Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic]
Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words]
Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama]
Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama]
Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama]
Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure]
Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama]
Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words]
Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama]
Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama]
Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama]
Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama]
Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama]
Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama]
My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words]
One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama]
Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama]
Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action]
Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama]
Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words]
Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic]
Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama]
Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words]
Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words]
Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama]
So This Is My Life Then (Short Stories) - [517 words] [Comedy]
Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama]
Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words]
Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama]
Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama]
The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama]
The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama]
The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama]
The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words]
The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama]
The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words]
The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama]
The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words]
The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words]
The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama]
The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama]
The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words]
The Spark (Short Stories) - [557 words]
The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror]
The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama]
Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama]
Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama]
Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama]
Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words]
Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama]
White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words]
You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
Sue (Sooz) Simpson
Dear Aunt Nasty
My eighteen-year-old son has the smelliest feet in living (or perhaps dead and decaying) history. His bedroom is a pit of rancid aroma and when the door is opened or closed a thick, green, putrid, fog wafts down the stairs and into the living room sending any visitors running for the hills. The poor dog whines in misery if her nose is in line with my son’s socks. And the council have hung a toxic poison notice on our front door.
Yours truly, Overwhelmed in Soxfordshire
My dear Overwhelmed.
This one is easy. Take your aromatic offspring back to his youth, build him a tree house and send him out to live in the garden.
Alternatively next time he really pisses you off, make him a relaxing cup of ‘cotton seep’ tea by soaking his stiffest socks in boiling water for five minutes and telling him its the latest ‘herbal’ remedy for sweaty feet.
I do hope this helps.
Lots of love
Dear Aunt Nasty
Please help I am beside myself with worry. Whilst watering my auntie Nell’s plants (she’s in hospital having her prolapsed rectum lifted and her varicose veins pulled) I accidentally smashed her favourite ornament. It’s a hideous pot dog, which has already had its head glued back on twice and has lost one leg. Alas this time despite my best efforts with Superglue and enthusiasm it is beyond repair. Auntie Nellie will be devastated.
Careless in Clarksville
What are you worrying about? You have done the woman a service getting rid of the tasteless piece of crap. Make an equally hideous mosaic tile out of all the broken pieces and tell her its Art Nouveux. She’ll be delighted.
And anyway look on the bright side, she may have a thrombosis and not come out of hospital. That way your sin will never catch up on you. At least if she’s left you the nasty thing in her will you won’t feel obligated to display it with your best crystal.
Give your self a break … oops you already did
Lots of love
Dear Aunt Nasty
My fourteen-year-old daughter has just become involved with her first serious boyfriend. The problem is that she is walking around with the most horrendous bruises all over her neck. She says they are love bites but to me she looks positively maimed. What should I do?
Horrified in Hickiesville.
Well darling, my first suggestion is… Feed the boy.
He must be positively ravenous.
Isn’t it amazing just how big a teenage boy’s mouth is and how much damage it can inflict? Have you tried the mirror test to see if this young man has a reflection? Smother your daughter in Garlic my dear, it’s the only way. Coat her from head to foot, after all if he’s done that to her neck just imagine what he’s … Oh dear that’s just too horrible to contemplate. Auntie just had a little turn at the thought. This Jack-the-lad may not be a vampire but at least it’ll guarantee that he won’t want to be too near your girl. Neither will anyone else for that matter, I would suggest repeating this procedure three times a day until she is twenty two.
Lots of love Auntie xxx
Dear Aunt Nasty.
I am in my last term of Uni. My final exams are imminent and I am unbelievably behind with my course work. My parents are relying on me to get distinctions in all of my exams and I am doomed to failure. Suicide seems to be the only way out of the mess I find myself in. Please save me.
Harassed in Harvard.
Chill out man.
Do what all the other students do. Take out an enormous student loan that you have absolutely no feasible chance of paying back within the next seventy years or so. Shag as many girls, boys or both as you possibly can. And take so many mind altering drugs that your brain oozes pretty colours all over the place. This would be a good time to drop your course in favour of a modern art degree and then at least you can seep psychadelic brain ooze merrily all over a collage and get one A. Re-sit every year for the next fifteen years. Trust me, no matter what your parents say this is what they expect of you, and they will already have prepared themselves for a lifetime of disappointment.
Lots of love
Dear Aunt Nasty
My husband stole a Mars bar from me. I know this may seem a small insignificant crime to you, but to me it represents a world of broken trust. What should I do?
Distrustful somewhere in the Milky-way.
Shoot the bastard with a high calibre, double barrel, sawn-off shotgun. Make the punishment fit the crime I say.
Lots of love
Dear Aunt Nasty.
My boyfriend wants to have anal sex with me. What do you advise?
Clenched and tense in Bottomly
Oh my dear clenched.
I whole-heartedly approve. Go for it darling.
After all what could be better for giving the old sex life a healthy boost than some good old fashioned loving in the open air. We have some lovely canals dotted around the country and I believe the Norfolk Broads are wonderful in spring. You need to hire yourself a barge, and don’t forget to make sure it is fitted with lifejackets. Be careful when you go through the locks in case people see your bare bottom bouncing up and down, and if you have a horse to pull the barge don’t forget to feed him plenty of fresh hay.
What a lovely boyfriend you must have I’d love a man to offer me some canal sex.
Lots of love
Ps You might like to buy yourself a new keyboard my darling. Your C key doesn’t appear to be working.
Well my angels that brings us to a close for another month.
Next month we have the curious case of the man who thinks he’s a left footed boot.
Auntie’s advice to him is to pull his sock up and find a mate.
And the girl who says prostitution doesn’t pay. Well of course not dear when you are promoting buy one get three free and hundred percent discounts.
Take care now children and remember love each other. One kind word cancels out a thousand harsh ones. Ladies attend to those little details that keep your men coming home to you each night. And Gentlemen don’t forget to treat her like a lady.
Till next time, Remember Auntie’s motto
DO UNTO OTHERS ONLY DO IT TO THEM FIRST.
|READER'S REVIEWS (5)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"OOo OOo Ooo! Monkey like Aunt Nasty." -- KungFu Gibbon.
"And Aunty likes monkeys too ..especially with their skull cap removed and a big spoon to get all the brain juice :-) Thank-you." -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria.
"This was very different, but entertaining and funny too! Nice to have Aunt Nasty provide some comic relief around here Sooz!" -- Monte.
" Ellie’s Review: Interesting advice...a little over-the-top to say the least, but interesting none-the-less...weird! " -- Cam Davis.
"Thanks Ellie. She is over the top I kep her shackled in the cellar most of the time. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria.
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© 2001 Sue (Sooz) Simpson
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