ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
My name is Kristen Karlson, I am a 17 year old Australian and i love to write. email me to chat at Kristenkarlson@hotmail.com [April 2006]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (8) A Broken Love (Poetry) A poem about love, dependance and loss. I'd really like to know what you think...this is one of my first poems. [236 words] [Relationships] Completeness-Part One (Short Stories) A fantasy short story. [976 words] [Fantasy] It Begins (Short Stories) This is the first part of a suit of stories "The temptation" is the second part. Please take a look. [3,133 words] [Mystery] Last Mistake (Short Stories) A mysterious woman seduces married men then blackmails them. It's supposed to have itallics...but it screwed up..please let me know what you think [1,574 words] [Drama] Sword From Heaven (Short Stories) A series of interconnected stories about the forms and consequences of power. [7,754 words] The Light (Poetry) - [49 words] [Spiritual] The Temptation (Short Stories) This is just one part of a story I am currently writing, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. [1,238 words] [Drama] White Silence (Short Stories) - [1,032 words] [Drama]
A Last Goodbye Kristen Karlson
Searing sorrow under my skin,
I want so much just to let you in.
No way of release,
No freedom from this pain.
I try so hard
But it’s all in vain
I’m trapped and I’m falling,
No help from above.
My efforts are useless,
I will never have your love.
Always overshadowed,
Always overthrown.
My mind will never be at peace
Until my pain is known.
No longer will I sit in silence,
Nor will I pretend.
If you can’t hear me, or you won’t
Then this will be the end
Screaming for my freedom,
Just to be ignored.
This icy grip of yours will see
My heart to never thaw.
So this path I have chosen,
As my heart will never mend.
And with these words I leave you now…
I loved you till the end.
READER'S REVIEWS (4) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"hey Kristen I though this was really good you seem to be very talented ,this all flowed real well and didn't stray the only stumbling area I had was at the part "just to be ignored" I'm no poet so it may just be me,just a thought maybe change that line to something like "something you never saw" ,to rhyme with thaw ,anyhow just a thought for you. have a great day." -- fh, canada.
"thanks for the review fh, and the advice! i hadn't even realised that the line didn't rhyme. I like your suggestion, and i'll be looking into changing it...thanks and you have a great day too" -- kristen.
"I agree with fh based on the pattern you establish in the rest of the verses, but don't get too hung up on the rhyme in general. If it rhymes naturally, great, but don't force the rhyme for the sake of "poetry", so to speak. The words and feelings should come first. I'm a relative novice, but I've found the art more fulfilling when I am true to my feelings and not the rhyme. Sorry for the ramble. Very nice work." -- Fire Keeper, US.
"i really enjoyed your 'ramble' firekeeper :) i know what you mean...i just wrote as the ideas and feelings came to me... thanks" -- kristen.
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