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A Last Goodbye
A Flower Today In Words by Randall Barfield - [40 words]
A Broken Love by Kristen Karlson A poem about love, dependance and loss. I'd really like to know what you think...this is one of m... [236 words]
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A Last Goodbye
A poem about the effects of heart-break..please take a look...
My name is Kristen Karlson, I am a 17 year old Australian and i love to write. email me to chat at [email protected]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (8)
A Broken Love (Poetry) A poem about love, dependance and loss. I'd really like to know what you think...this is one of my first poems. [236 words] [Relationships]
Completeness-Part One (Short Stories) A fantasy short story. [976 words] [Fantasy]
It Begins (Short Stories) This is the first part of a suit of stories "The temptation" is the second part. Please take a look. [3,133 words] [Mystery]
Last Mistake (Short Stories) A mysterious woman seduces married men then blackmails them. It's supposed to have itallics...but it screwed up..please let me know what you think [1,574 words] [Drama]
Sword From Heaven (Short Stories) A series of interconnected stories about the forms and consequences of power. [7,754 words]
The Light (Poetry) - [49 words] [Spiritual]
The Temptation (Short Stories) This is just one part of a story I am currently writing, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. [1,238 words] [Drama]
White Silence (Short Stories) - [1,032 words] [Drama]
A Last Goodbye
Searing sorrow under my skin,
I want so much just to let you in.
No way of release,
No freedom from this pain.
I try so hard
But itís all in vain
Iím trapped and Iím falling,
No help from above.
My efforts are useless,
I will never have your love.
My mind will never be at peace
Until my pain is known.
No longer will I sit in silence,
Nor will I pretend.
If you canít hear me, or you wonít
Then this will be the end
Screaming for my freedom,
Just to be ignored.
This icy grip of yours will see
My heart to never thaw.
So this path I have chosen,
As my heart will never mend.
And with these words I leave you nowÖ
I loved you till the end.
|READER'S REVIEWS (4)
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"hey Kristen I though this was really good you seem to be very talented ,this all flowed real well and didn't stray the only stumbling area I had was at the part "just to be ignored" I'm no poet so it may just be me,just a thought maybe change that line to something like "something you never saw" ,to rhyme with thaw ,anyhow just a thought for you. have a great day." -- fh, canada.
"thanks for the review fh, and the advice! i hadn't even realised that the line didn't rhyme. I like your suggestion, and i'll be looking into changing it...thanks and you have a great day too" -- kristen.
"I agree with fh based on the pattern you establish in the rest of the verses, but don't get too hung up on the rhyme in general. If it rhymes naturally, great, but don't force the rhyme for the sake of "poetry", so to speak. The words and feelings should come first. I'm a relative novice, but I've found the art more fulfilling when I am true to my feelings and not the rhyme. Sorry for the ramble. Very nice work." -- Fire Keeper, US.
"i really enjoyed your 'ramble' firekeeper :) i know what you mean...i just wrote as the ideas and feelings came to me... thanks" -- kristen.
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© 2004 Kristen Karlson
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