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A Battered Woman Looks In The Mirror
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TITLE (EDIT)
A Battered Woman Looks In The Mirror
DESCRIPTION
What does she see?
[912 words]
AUTHOR
Skyler Drevan
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I am Jeff, writer, dreamer, realist.
[July 2006]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (100)
A Memoir Of Angst (Poetry) - [50 words]
A Night At The Cineplex (Short Stories) Sometimes I feel like watching a flick, sometimes I feel like this. [957 words]
A Reflection Of Love (Poetry) - [23 words]
A Ride On The New York City Subway (Short Stories) If you live or have traveled on our lovely subway systems here, you would totally understand this piece. [1,115 words] [Drama]
A Spark Of Light Through The Valley (Poetry) - [253 words]
An Ode To Man's Best Friend (Poetry) - [199 words]
Another Beggar's At The Door (Poetry) - [221 words]
Asleep (Poetry) - [170 words]
Asphyxiate (Poetry) - [169 words]
Attorney At Law (Poetry) - [218 words]
Battle Cry (Essays) Another self discovery made in the middle of a restless night. [438 words] [Psychology]
Blue Bird (Poetry) - [142 words] [Fable]
Child Murder (Short Stories) Another story written for my psychology class on a study in child criminalization in the last fifty to a hundred years. [7,471 words] [Psychology]
Christianity (Non-Fiction) - [113 words] [Mind]
College Boys (Essays) - [558 words]
Confused Youth (Poetry) Haven't we all felt this way? [155 words] [Drama]
Conversations With A Hate Monger (Short Stories) A tale of the ramblings of a bigot. Make your own judgements. [1,090 words] [Drama]
Devoted Husband And Father (Short Stories) - [268 words] [Fable]
Disturbing Gift (Short Stories) This is a short story that has a taboo subject twist to it. Tell me what ya think. [262 words] [Fable]
Double Indifference (Poetry) - [43 words]
Drinking Coffee With Loveliness (Poetry) Loveliness is a metaphor in this poem about whatever makes you smile. [122 words]
Empty Barnyard In October (Poetry) - [207 words]
Extreme Panhandling (Essays) This is an article I wrote about a severe problem that plagues the beautiful city of New York. [1,191 words] [Drama]
Feeding Love With Hate (Essays) An article on three men dealing with their sexuality. [2,339 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
Forever Mystery (Poetry) - [136 words]
Friendship, Oblivion (Short Stories) Have you ever had a relationship like this? Have you ever had a friendship like this? I think I may be starting a special series. I can use more real accounts like this one. Yes, this is actual. [373 words]
From Kenya, With Love (Non-Fiction) True story. [1,644 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
Glum (Essays) I think this is self explaning. [207 words] [Drama]
Go Away! (Short Stories) She screamed louder than ever before. [254 words] [Fable]
Governmental Fiasco (Essays) This government is going to hell if we do not get rid of BUSH!!!!! Say what you will about this piece, but the fact remains that he, like Reagan, were the worst we have seen in years. BUSH, OUT!! [781 words]
Grace (Poetry) A little poem about my late grandmother Grace Johnson. You're always in my heart. [102 words]
Homosexual Agenda: Equality! (Essays) What gay people are really looking for. [1,647 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
Hopelessly Together (Poetry) - [108 words]
Human Abstract (Short Stories) Unusual art exhibit. [4,254 words] [Fan Fiction]
I Didn't Do All I Could (But I Tried) (Poetry) When you haven't done enough, but should have tried. [340 words]
I Miss You So Very Much (Non-Fiction) (Just For You) [493 words]
I Wonder What They See In Me (Essays) When I walk down the street and people stare; what are they thinking? [629 words]
I Wont Tell (Essays) This is not for the weak at heart type. This is a strong piece that is loosely based on my childhood. If you can take the sensitive content of this piece, read on. [927 words] [Relationships]
If I Could Do It Again (Poetry) Regret. [96 words]
If I Had Only Known Then (Poetry) - [36 words]
I'm Welcomed (Poetry) A feeling of bliss under the night sky. [67 words]
Intensely And Beautifully Obscene (Poetry) - [49 words]
Is It Still Today? (Poetry) A poem about everyday life. [196 words] [Drama]
Isn't It Strange? (Poetry) - [24 words]
I've Been Having These Dreams About You... (Non-Fiction) Something I wrote about a former boyfriend of mine. I really don't know why I'm posting this here but we'll see what happens. [243 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
Just A Kiss (Poetry) A poem written while vacationing in North Carolina in late July. [177 words]
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Life And It's Irony (Poetry) - [128 words]
Little Boy (Poetry) A short poem I wrote ten years ago when I was just twelve years old. I wrote it about myself and the way I thought my parents should look at me. [104 words]
Mommy, Was I A Mistake? (Short Stories) Hold me when I'm here and love me when I'm gone. [768 words]
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Mr. Michael Jackson-The King Of Pop (Essays) Let me explain something to the reviewers who may make ignorant comments about this piece on Michael Jackson. I am not posting here to get anyone’s approval and I am not posting here to make friends. ... [382 words] [Drama]
My Fathers Eyes (Poetry) The relationship between a father and son. [59 words] [Drama]
My Swan Song (Poetry) - [78 words]
Our Bodies Are In The Way (Poetry) - [342 words] [Fantasy]
Overindulge (Poetry) When life has gone too far. [101 words] [Drama]
Partners Slowly Slipping Away (Poetry) - [218 words]
Playing With My Hair (Non-Fiction) This is a piece that I thought about writing while driving up the Florida Turnpike from West Palm Beach to Orlando. The mind wonders during such long trips. [228 words]
Please Say (Poetry) Longing. [111 words] [Relationships]
Plunge (Poetry) This is one of my final seven submissions to this site for a while. [173 words]
Probing (Short Stories) This is a short story I wrote for my psychology class. It's written as a sadistic persona similiar to that of Jeffrey Dahmer. I chose Jeffrey because he was the first serial killer I learned about as ... [1,489 words] [Psychology]
Reinvent The World (Poetry) If I were in charge, this is what it would be like. [206 words]
Remains (Poetry) - [56 words]
Ronald Reagan (Essays) Was he that good? [1,096 words]
Satisfaction Guaranteed: Refundexchange (Poetry) - [70 words]
Shame Or Protection (Non-Fiction) You be the judge. [985 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
Small World (Poetry) - [137 words]
Speak Freely (Short Stories) This is another addition to my "Fable" anthology I am creating. [258 words] [Fable]
Struggling To Face Reality (Essays) My thoughts on Bill Cosby and his recent comments. [1,577 words]
Success (Short Stories) Another part of my 'Fable' anthology. [275 words] [Fable]
The Cave (Poetry) - [296 words]
The Door (Short Stories) Another addition to my 'Fable' collection. [287 words] [Fable]
The Down-Low Life (It's A Two Way Street) (Non-Fiction) This is an article on the double life that women (bisexual, lesbian, curious or the like) lead behind the backs of their partners. This topic is often discussed but it is often focused on the men who ... [2,218 words] [Relationships]
The Fight (Short Stories) A true story narrarated by me about a horrible marriage and the fight that led to the bitter end. [1,499 words] [Drama]
The Fire Is Almost Out (Poetry) - [100 words]
The Fruitstand At Lunchtime (Poetry) - [72 words]
The Habit Of Being Gay (Poetry) This poem is in response to those who think that being gay is a "phase" or "habit" only explored by those who are curious. [87 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
The Mother Of All Birthdays (Short Stories) - [1,850 words] [Fan Fiction]
The Painful Mistake Of Losing You (Poetry) - [106 words]
The Plight Of Man (Poetry) - [215 words]
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The Study Of Balls (Poetry) The title may be a bit misleading. [114 words]
The Vacation In Vain (Poetry) - [42 words]
They Call Me Mellow Yellow (Non-Fiction) Complexion [2,063 words]
Thirsty (Poetry) A hunger, a greed or a passion? [144 words]
Thoughtless (Poetry) I wrote this one just a moment ago when I woke up after a restless sleep. I woke up feeling empty and decided to write. This is what came out of me. [160 words]
To All The Forgotten (Poetry) - [124 words]
To Whom Beauty Holds (Short Stories) All about Vanity. [2,545 words] [Fable]
Trust In Dreams (Poetry) - [100 words] [Fable]
Unanswered Letters (Short Stories) - [354 words] [Fable]
Unclear Explanation (Poetry) A poem written about uncertainty. [62 words]
Videotape (Short Stories) This is a short story I wrote after reading a particularly interesting book and was far too full of anxiety to sleep. This is a disturbing story that deals with cannibalism and pedophilia. I wrote it ... [7,472 words] [Crime]
Vulnerable (Essays) The middle of the night thoughts. This is a little something based on a seris of unsettling dreams I had in the middle of the night on February, 8th 2003. It's meaning is unknown even to me. I guess t... [263 words] [Mind]
Watching Me Fade (Poetry) - [54 words]
We Stand (Poetry) - [282 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
When Straight Guys Go Gay (Non-Fiction) This is a real life account of a guy my friends and I met online who had questions about his sexuality. [2,810 words] [Gay & Lesbian]
When The Ginger Boy Sings (Poetry) - [226 words]
With You Next To Me (Poetry) - [123 words]
Within The Depths Of His Eyes (Poetry) Only when you're truly in love, can you feel this way. [55 words]
Worms In My Grandmother's Garden (Poetry) An old peom I found that I wrote when I was very young helping my grandmother in her prized tomato garden. Circa, 1991. [120 words]
A Battered Woman Looks In The Mirror
Skyler Drevan

“In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.”

Robert Anderson

Remember as you wipe away the tears that you are a woman, you are weak, dumb, unkempt and inferior. You must also remember that you are his slave and therefore not very free. You must remember that you are not the man and thus, are substandard. You must know where your place is, you must know that your only reason for being is to serve and protect the sanctity of our marriage and our family and preserve the good name of my husband. I must remember that though he beats me, I cause it and I should know better. I should know that he likes his eggs scrambled and not over easy at exactly eight thirty in the morning. I should know that his orange juice must be freshly squeezed and I should know that his bagel must be extra soft with very little low-fat cream cheese. I should know that as his wife, I am the only one that he can take homage over. I am his property and I should expect to be treated as such. I know that I am his asset and to make myself look pretty when I go outdoors (without him) I should expect a beating because there is no need to make other men possibly come on to me. I should know to cut his toe nails once a week, and no more than six times a month. I should always remember that the trash should be taken out only three hours before the scheduled pick up to avoid another beating.

As his property and the mother of his three children, I should know that I am not allowed to be anything or anyone outside of our humble home. I should always remember that I am ugly and no other man would ever want me, no matter how good I try to make myself look. I now know that I am beneath him. It took a few beatings and hair pulling matches but I now know. I know that it is not lady-like to fight back when he is hitting me. I will never make that mistake again. This is my husbands place, it is my job to keep it clean and keep it glistening for him. I am never allowed to have guests over, not even my own family. I know that now. As I look in this mirror, I know that I am not merely cleaning away the bruises and washing away blood as my eye grows blacker and closes in. No, I am merely wiping away another mistake I made when I upset my dear husband. He is a good man beneath all the hurt that he causes, beneath all the hurt that I cause him to cause. I know that he and I have had our issues but in talking to him and his friends, I know that his issues were in fact my issues.

I will raise my son just as he has instructed me too. I will tell him that the man rules the world and whatever a man asks or demands from a woman; she should reciprocate as she is inferior in every way. I almost forgot to remember to not try to sing songs anymore. My husband saved me a lot of embarrassment when he told me at a party that I couldn’t sing a lick and that I really should shut up. I must remember that all the money I make should go to my husband as he is the only one true bread winner in this family. The children should know that for whatever problem they have, they are not to ask daddy as he is always too busy for them and I must be the one answer machine. If I fail and they run to daddy, I must remember that I will be subject to another brutal punishment that I would have caused myself.

As a wife of my husband the king, I know that I am hardly a queen, I am a mere peasant and I am not allowed to have any fun or talk to anyone. I have to continue to remind myself of that as I far too often have forgotten and landed myself right back here wiping away the blood from open wounds. I am not worthy of an education. I am not worthy of adventure, and I am not worthy of joy. I am a slut, a dirty lousy slut with no feelings or emotions. I am nothing more than a whore a common whore that should remember where I belong at all times. My husband is not pimp, he is held in much too high a standard for that. But he is a master. He is my master and at all times, I will obey. I remember, boy do I remember. This is a fine country we live in but in this house, it is the United States of Him. He is the President and Vice President. I, well, I am a part of a commonwealth with no vote. I will never have a voice; I will never have a choice. But I know that if I were to ever break any of his rules and commandments again, I shall end up right back here in the bathroom, wiping away the tears.

 

READER'S REVIEWS (6)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.

"Wow! What a gruesome fate to endure for this woman. This was wonderful throughout. Very little to nothing disagreed with me. Sentence structure was spot on, as was word selection. I was very impressed with this story. Keep up the magnificence." -- Michael Harris, Detroit.
"This was an emotional and powerful piece! I felt this girl's pain, truly. Nicely done!" -- Hayley Burdett.
"apparantely this sort of stuff does go on, i don't understand it and it's hard to imagine people can live like this. you did a good job portraying how the lady must feel. " -- just a guy.
"*claps* well done once again my friend. How delightful it is to be reading about the stuff everyone is afraid to write... i have had it about up to here with all these picnic stories... well done. keep it up... i want your next to peice to make me sick!" -- ryan severud.
"I want to thank all of you for ypur reviews of my piece. Thanks Michael, Hayley, JAG, and Ryan, it's really appreciated. I cannot really explain where these pieces came from. Lately, I've just been in a path with my writing, I'm going with the flow. " -- Jeffrey, The Author.
"Thank you for your writing of the above subject. it brought so many bad memories into my head I suffered from DV for over 30 years. I eventually broke free in 2000, and I've not looked back once" -- Carol Weeden, England.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2004 Skyler Drevan
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
August 2004
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2116
 

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