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When You Said Goodbye Mueller
My life fell apart
the sky fell down
that night they found you
lying on the ground.
I didnt want to believe it
it couldnt have been you
but when I seen the ambulance
I knew it was true.
My heart ached
with so much pain
looking for someone
that I could blame.
The tears rolled down
my face all day
couldnt talk to anyone
there was nothing to say.
The cop came over
and said to me
I think this is something
you'll want to read.
CHORUS:
Baby I love you
I'm sorry I gotta go
we'll still be together
in our hearts you know.
I'm gonna miss you like crazy
but I'll wait for you
cuz the love inside
will always be true.
Please dont cry
over me anymore
continue living
like you've always done before.
You were the only one for me
and baby you still are
cuz I love you so much
your my shining star.
Now a year has past
and your still on my mind
I've gotten through all this
I'm gonna be just fine.
I remember when we met
how we didnt get along
we'd fight over little things
something always went wrong.
But then we grew up
and fell in love
I always knew you were
an angel from above.
Now your up in heaven
looking down at me
I'm making a wish
on every star I see.
That night I still remember
I didnt get to say goodbye
but I know I'll see you again
when its my time.
(CHORUS)
READER'S REVIEWS (15) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
""Who" is in heaven Ms. Mueller, not "that" is in heaven. You don't want to call someone who you loved a "that"." -- Tyna Aberdeen.
"Some grammatical errors such as "seen" instead of "saw" and "your" instead of "you're". I only point them out, because other writers on this board are always after me about them, and I just wanted to preempt them by letting you know gently. It was a nice poem, but I personally think it's quite selfish of a person to say they love someone and then commit suicide." -- EC Allen.
"Whassup with this "prempt" bullshit Ass Allen. You think you can muffle the cries of the other reviewers you damn Communist? I think this poem sucked." -- Son of Tyrant.
"And just why did it "suck" Son of Tyrant? I dare you to give me some foundation for your esteemed opinion." -- EC Allen.
"I don't need to give you shit Commie! It sucked that's why. Hey, I got a question for you Idiot Allen. Why are you defending this? Did you write it, and use this Mueller chick's name or sumthin'?" -- Son of Tyrant.
"No I didn't, though I wish I had. Mueller is apparently a fine author in her own right. I just can't stand by and let some little moron tear someone's work to pieces with apparently no basis for their opinions." -- EC Allen.
""Little moron" oohh! I'm so scared now." -- Son of Tyrant.
"I think this piece was beautifully done." -- Hi Light, North Springs, Delaware.
"That was a sad but lovely song" -- Suzi Harper.
"Some rhyming was extremely fluid, and some was rather forced. Though the language isn't really my style (not a big fan of "cuz"'s and "baby"'s,) it would probably make a fine song if applied to the right music. And if you're going to be an idiot, don't do it in my name or my pseudonym, SOT." -- Bennett.
"Bennet, what are you talking about???? I am not using anything with your name!!!! That's my last name and I'll use it if I want!! " -- Mueller.
"Hello Mueller, this will be the last time I use up valuable review space, but I just wanted to answer that question. You see, the last reviewer, from what I can gather his name is Bennett Sims, and he is a staple of the Storymania board. He has matured during his time here to be actually respectable in my view, but he had a tendency to be a bit misanthropic if you will toward other writers works. For awhile he had called himself Tyrant. He has since put that aside and is now critiquing a bit more constructively which I applaud. However, there is another reviewer, possibly two, who can't quite let the Tyrant legacy die. One calls himself the Son of Tyrant in honor of the original Tyrant, and he's a constant harasser of my work as well as myself, for whatever reason. That's what Bennett means by somebody using his name, I know I'm right about that. That's also how I know that this Son of Tyrant isn't Bennett using a slightly altered name, because why else would he get upset about someone else using his name? The one thing I'm not sure about is if this Son of Tyrant, who I will gladly hunt down both for Bennett and myself, if he is the D. from London who put in the last few reviews of my story The Cotton Tale (which even now is being rewritten Mr. Son of Tyrant) or just some other nasty reviewer. Well Mueller the best thing we can hope for is that this D. person and Son of Tyrant (not to be confused with the original and one and only Tyrant) will stew in their own hateful unconstructive juices until the point of evaporation. I hope I've answered in question, I'm sure Bennett, maybe even some of the other veterans here will be able to confirm. And to wrap up, I just wanted to say once again, that you did an excellent job, and "please" if you're going to review the Cotton Tale after this... be kind." -- EC Allen.
"I thought that this was a very beautiful piece. I was moved to tears because of the pain. It can be a very great song if sung by the right person and set to music that can do it justice. I am looking for music in order to break into the buisness and this would be a hit. Susan" -- Susan, Heidelberg, Germany.
"Very beautiful though some of the grammar could be a little more correct. The meaning is true and moving, reminds me of when my daughter lost her good friend just a year ago last week and became good friends with his girlfriend in the aftermath. This song could have been written by that same young lady who still has not ventured to find someone else." -- Brenda, Newark, USA, DE.
"your chorus does not personify the title or the body (verses) of your lyric, and death doesn't sell." -- Brian (Brion') O Neil.
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