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Finally... by Darin R Molnar A twisted Dick and Jane story about a physician gone bad. Stephen King supplied the sketch in his bo... [2,962 words]
Cold Eddie Kane by Albert Davis Just a situation that I thought of. Please read it and tell what you think. [4,803 words]
Without Condition by Branson Storm A free-spirited man struggles with his quest for true love as his life of drug addiction and ... [8,232 words]
Absolution by Adam Lear Logic clashes with religion to conclude in an uncomfortable truth. [2,821 words]
Defining Stupidity (Now Where Was I?) by MacKenzie Morgan A fourth entry from my summer journal...I dedicate it to Bobby, who helpe... [4,507 words]
Jinx by MacKenzie Morgan Another entry from my summer journal, thanks to all who have responded. Please keep reviewing! [9,058 words]
Aurora (Borealis) by MacKenzie Morgan Since I got so much great feedback, I thought I'd post something else from my summer journal.... [3,136 words]
When Beauty Rears Its Ugly Head by Bradley Postma A snapshot exhibiting the superficiality and simplicity of relationships in low... [3,728 words]
The Largeness Of Sound by James Tregonning This is a very black comedy of a short story. You must read it to find out what's so bla... [384 words]
The Help That Never Came by Asadullah Panhwer Story depicting the adventures of a journalist in the Amazon Jungle. [691 words]
Shirley's Angel by Richard Koss A Christmas story: In the final analysis, we may discover that we love someone because of their... [2,228 words]
Seeming by Daniel Birnbaum A story to make you think -- to ponder something for a few moments during the course of your normally b... [850 words]
Child In The Park by Justin Kile A story of a young boy in the park. [1,027 words]
Blue by Margaret Li A noir telling of a psychiatric patient's perception of life... and death. [5,290 words]
The Infinity Wars by Frank L Martin A young man is visited by a talking snake and wolf. The animals mistake him for another dupl... [2,824 words]
The Butterfly Man by David Godden A story of sexual abuse. Real or imagined? What does the medical profession do to earn our tr... [12,634 words]
Stop For Flowers by Justin Kile Memories of an old love, never to be again. [1,135 words]
Pizza Bianca by Mark Herner Recipes usually consist of a list of ingredients, quantities and a few paragraphs of instructions.... [4,323 words]
How You Look At It by T Q Cebula The story features a pompous, deluded and possibly insane young man who -- purely out of sym... [3,871 words]
Favorious by David Gardiner In the late Middle Ages, an obscure village seems to have witnessed a miracle. The ageing monk Favori... [4,769 words]
Fall Breezes by Justin Kile Love and Leaves. [1,242 words]
Bad Habits Die Hard by David Rama Stop bugging me... or i'll kill you, Kurt warned Christine... [13,550 words]
The Wound by Amit Gupta A short story. [815 words]
The Perfect Friend by David Godden A tale of love in Victorian England. But what kind of love? [2,114 words]
The Greatest Blues Singer Of All Time by Jon Nicholas Mickey didnít dare speak. He couldnít bring himself to interrupt the tran... [1,900 words]
The Ages by Keir Hunter Hardie How the component parts of Love will always be assembled regardless of time or distance. [682 words]
Raindrops by Richard Koss Ever think twice about shopping alone at night. You should - especially if you're a pretty woman. [1,469 words]
Rags & Italian Shoes by Jon Nicholas When I saw George Lowell meet Kathy Wyeth, I knew there was no chance she'd ever want to g... [4,610 words]
Marta, Close Your Legs. by Meaghan Elise The first thing Marta thinks about in the morning is sex. And that's even before she's ... [1,246 words]
Make Him Crave You by Jennifer L O'callaghan When bad dating advice happens to clueless women. [1,674 words]
Keeping Time by Jon Nicholas "Yes, James. I appreciate the new programming. By the way, I know it may sound silly coming from a... [1,763 words]
Great Days by Niall Power Street racing community paper, action packed with some romantic flare. [2,167 words]
Embarrassing First Date by Susan T Fisher My first date in 1964, and the most embarrassing date of my life. [1,509 words]
Eating At Arby's: The South Florida Stories (1982) by Richard Grayson Condo dwellers Manny and Zelda enjoy life in South Florida w... [5,695 words]
Disjointed Fictions by Richard Grayson The worst writer in the world (and even on the Storymania web site) fails in his attempt to... [9,211 words]
Adolescent Innocence 3: The Ghost by Loki They thought things would be normal...they thought no one would know...but mo... [12,053 words]
A New Game by Jon Nicholas Twenty-six computers, who just love to play games, find themselves playing a new game that's quite d... [2,273 words]
Star Truck
Project S.T.A.R. by Loki The glorious future gives a sense of hope and opportunity for millions of people. But for some... [34,344 words]
Ordinary Days Work by Niall Power A paper about an FBI agent tracking and following a trainned assassin. [2,318 words]
Not Necessarily Cancer by Jennifer L O'callaghan A young woman's reaction to her abnormal Pap smear. [1,920 words]
Nine Days And Counting by Lorraine Wylie An excerpt. [605 words]
Love Beyond Death by Nadeem Akhtar A story of an innocent love at the threshold of death. All left her when she was shot in the ... [1,372 words]
Loonies by Steven R. Kravsow A car slowly gained on him. Soon it was even with Daniel's. It was a black sports model, low slung and ... [4,959 words]
Benevolence Fiteprone by William Rodgers A young man goes into a kings training camp and is put on an extreemly advanced training ... [2,554 words]
A New Dawn by Adagio When life seems hopeless, there always something, no matter how small to cling to [1,636 words]
Beyond The Realm Of Us by Branson Storm A look into the life of a young writer who is left to live with the ghost of his beloved... [4,530 words]
The Grave Keeper by Joel Harper - [388 words]
Sometimes The Wind.... by Matt Macul Old Apollo takes his nightly walk to the liqour store with his dog only to find the wind... [3,169 words]
My Crazy Friend by Cathy Pal Different as night and day, yet drawn together as friends. [1,055 words]
Muriel's Funeral by Richard Koss Imagine yourself dead and observing your own funeral What would you expect to see? You might... [736 words]
Mark The Public Notices by Richard Grayson A heartbroken family places advertisements in The New York Times public notices. [1,271 words]
John by Glen Pearson A shocking and sick final entry to disturb you. This will be my last story on Storymania seein' as how I'... [3,492 words]
Inexhaustible Needs, Undefinable Aches by Richard Grayson Two young gay men have a relationship that spans the late 1960s and earl... [3,596 words]
In Pursuit Of Pabulum by Bradley Postma A philosophical tale about two reclusive souls brought together in an Internet interlude. [9,261 words]
Blank Canvas by Amit Gupta A short story. [2,069 words]
A Sophomore's Diary 1971 by Richard Grayson A college student falls in love in the spring of 1971. [3,605 words]
A Junior's Diary 1971 by Richard Grayson Sequel to "A Sophomore's Diary 1971": kvetchy college student breaks up with girlfriend. [6,746 words]

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Star Truck
My name is Jaime T Quirk, captain of the Star Truck Enterprise...
[1,449 words]
Science Fiction
Robert W Carlomagno
I am a former Navy and Merchant Marine sailor and an Army brat. IF YOU READ A STORY, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY COMMENTS, GOOD OR BAD.
[March 2002]
[email protected]
Southern Comfort (Non-Fiction) The Misadventures of an Army Brat. Third in a series. [2,029 words]
The Arm (Non-Fiction) The Misadventures of an Army Brat. [3,756 words]
The Beach (Non-Fiction) The Misadventures of an Army Brat. Second in a series. [1,233 words]
Star Truck
Robert W Carlomagno

My name is Jaime T Quirk, captain of the Star Truck Enterprise. The T is for Tired. Tired of driving this truck through space. Our mission is to keep the show on the air for 5 years so we can pick up the residuals. We are in the Toyota system in orbit around Lexus I, Lexus II, or Rocky XXX, whatever. It is star date 4775564547897659.999.77-------------

That is just the day. If I go for the month and year we could be here forever. The planet, whatever it's name is a class P type which means it's atmosphere is identical to earth. The rivers are polluted there is acid rain, many species are extinct, and smog covers most of the cities. Makes you nostalgic for home doesn't it?

Why am I driving a truck instead of a star ship? Why do you ask? Okay I'll tell you. We are at war with the Dingdon empire and several months ago I was ordered back to earth. As we approached earth I mistakenly took it for a Dingdon war buzzard. A common mistake. So I fired my photon torpedoes and wiped out Australia. Nobody liked that. I told them I was sorry but they took away my starship anyway and gave me this 18 wheeler. Amazing what a few carpenters can do with a truck. I have a thousand officers and one crewman and they all fit.

The bridge is just like the Enterprise with a lot of whistles and beeps and little red and green lights flashing. Never could figure out what they were for. My first officer, or number 1, (some think he is a number 2) is a Fallopian. You can always tell a Fallopian by his ears. They are shaped like tubes. Mr. Smock or Smock for short, always has all the answers, he is precise and accurate and detailed. I can always count on him to get me out of trouble. Of course there were exceptions such as the Australian incident.

Then there is our ships doctor Mr. Coy affectionately known as Boner. A graduate of the University of Grenada he is well versed in diseases of the eyebrows and would be invaluable should anybody ever come down with it. Next is our engineer Mr. Spott, or Spotty. He keeps us running in first gear or overdrive. He is always hanging around the bridge and I have been meaning to ask him why. I have two men sitting at consoles with a board of lighted switches that have no markings, so I have no idea how these guys know which one to press. But then maybe they don't. Could have something to do with that Australian incident.

First there is Zulu, a former Kamikaze pilot and very short. He likes to wear his Samurai sword on the bridge and it keeps clanging around every time he presses a lighted unmarked switch. I can't let him be helmsman because he keeps trying to fly into a planet yelling Banzai.

Checkup claims his people invented everything. He has a strange accent and It's hard to understand him sometimes. He says he's from Georgia so it must be a southern accent, which may have something to do with that Australian incident. I'm going to get to the bottom of it sooner or later.

Finally there is Oooohara the radio operator who sits in the same chair with her legs crossed 24 hours a day. She has one job and that is to open hailing frequencies, whatever they are, and to not be able to contact Starfleet. Thats two jobs isn't it? Oooohara is quite beautiful except for this metallic object she has growing out of her left ear. It looks like it should hurt. Funny thing though, they all have the same first name....Mister. Mister Smock, mister Zulu, mister Spot and mister Ooohara.

"Alright crew. We're on an important and dangerous mission here and if I could remember what it was I would tell you." "But first I want to ask a question that has been bothering me for some time." "Mister Spot, why are you always on the bridge?"

"I can't find the engine room sirrrrr." "I can't even find the bathrrrroom."

"Good answer Spotty." "Keep your legs crossed that you'll find one of them soon."


"Alright Mister Zulu, report on the situation on the planets surface."

"Aye sir." There is a force of 23.5 Dingdons on the planet. One of them is very short. They have captured all of the leaders of the planet and have defeated an Army of 3.7 million. And that was just the short guy. All the Dingdons are located in the Royal palace. They are enjoying a smoke and bloodwine celebration. We should cross the Delaware now sir. I mean beam down and surprise them. If I could just dive a little closer to the planet, sir."

"Never mind that Zulu just stay away from the helm. Your report is unsatisfactory Mister Zulu. Not enough detail. Mister Smock what is your evaluation of the situation?" huh.


"There, now thats what I call a detailed report. Excellent Mister Smock."

"We need to assemble an away team to go away. That means everybody of any importance such as everyone on the bridge. Ooohara send a message to Starfleet that we are going to the planets surface. Leave out the name of the planet until I figure out what it is."

"Sorry sir, I can't raise Starfleet. I can use hailing frequencies but there isn't anyone to hail."

"Never mind, everybody get to the transporter room and stand by to beam down."


"Yes, Spotty."

"Rrrrrememberrr the last time we all beamed down therrre was nobody left that knew how to worrrk the trrransporrrrterrr and we werrre stuck on the planet for six months until a rrrescue ship arrrrrived?"

"Yeah, yeah I rememberrrr. Thats why we have a crewman on board instead of all officers. He's got some smarts."

"Any other problems Spotty?"

"Yes sirrr. We can beam up but we can't beam down. It's one of the little things you don't get after you destroy Australia."

"Brilliant. OK Smock what do you think about that?"


I'll tell you something. I always have hated Smock with his one word answers and stupid ears. I'll bet he set me up on that Australian thing so he could be captain.

"Good answer Smock, but how do we get down to the surface?"


"Did you hear that crew?" We can float down using fascinating, interesting, parachutes."

"Fifty miles to the surface."

"But sirrrrrr."

"What now Spotty!"

"We'll burn up in the atmosphere Captain."

"Not if we go feet first and point our toes." "Spotty go get parachutes for everyone on the away team."

"But sirrrrr?"

"Now what Spotty?"

"Therrre haven't been any parrrachutes for two centurrries and...........

"Shut up Mister Spot and get them anyway."

"Aye sirrrr."

"Mister Ooohara, prepare the away team with all that is needed for the mission."

"You mean........"

"Yes, two officers of lower rank to accompany us to the surface in case someone is killed. Naturally it can't be one of us."


"Mister Oohara would you please use the intercom next time."

"YES SIR, I mean yes sir."

"Here comes Spotty with the parachutes. Everybody strap one on with an oxygen bottle and report to cargo bay 1."

"Aye sirrrr. Be carrreful these arrrre made from old bedsheets."

"Good thinking Spotty. I'll follow you guys to the cargo bay since I don't know where it is."

"It's right through that there door yonder marked CARGO BAY Captain."

"Thank you ChecKup. I knew that." "Decompress the bay Mister Smock."

"You got it kid."



"Good. Now every body into the bay and to the edge and jump. I'll go last since a Captain must be the last to abandon ship."

"But thats only if the ship is sinking sir."

"I knew that Mister Zulu. "ABANDON SHIP WE ARE SINKING. By order of the Captain."

There they go. Just look at those idiots. They're even pointing their toes. How dumb can you get. Ah! There goes the first one burning up in the atmosphere, and another, and thats it. I knew I would get revenge for that Australian incident. Who just grabbed me from behind?"

"Who is that? Why are you pushing me toward the edge?"

"It's your favorite and only crewman, Captain."

"Why are you pushing me out. Knock it off. Thats an order."

"I forgot to tell you. I'm your Australian crewman."

"Oh no. Wait, wait, at least tell me your name."

"Just call me...........Captain."




"A really funny story. Written well with a plot and characters well defined. Flows from sentence to senrence. Can hardly wait to read your others. Still laughing." -- Bob Bolvin, Denver, Colorado, USA.
"What can I say? This is especially funny just after watching one of those original Star Trek episodes on the SciFi channel. That's my suggestion for anyone who wants to read this. Watch one of those first, then read this piece. You can parachute into outerspace?--The Advisor." -- JA St.George.
"Robert, have you tried this story out on any of the Star Trek fan writing sites. I'm sure there must be at least a couple out there, and perhaps you can sell it that way, if you haven't already.--The Advisor" -- JA St.George.
""Thank you for your kind comments on my story, Star Truck. I had hoped that others would comment on the other stories I have posted." -- Bob Carlomagno. Advisors reply: Bob, I understand your frustration, better than most. There is a major discrepency in the ratio between the volume of work here on Storymania and readers who have the time, compassion, and ability to give a review. I may be able to help, if you are willing to be directed to another website, which is currently under construction. This website is largely dedicated to critiquing. It isn't a replacement to Storymania, merely another tool for you to use if you want it. If you do, I'll gladly tell you the location, but otherwise I will not advertise where it may be unwanted.--The Advisor " -- JA St.George.
"It can be visited at http://home.earthlink.net/~jerryageorge " -- JA St.George.


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© 2001 Robert W Carlomagno
October 2001

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