ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Has ideas but lacks talent and skill to commit completely to writing his perfect novel. [March 2007]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (6) Crazy Crash (Short Stories) Just plain stupid [645 words] Do Memories Really Have A Title? (Non-Fiction) Seriously no point in reading unless over 35 and drunk, I am not kidding but hey you think you know better so go right ahead, don't get smart or witty. You are being stupid by pretending to not read i... [168 words] [Relationships] Don't Mind Her, She's 'armless (Short Stories) Ugly people have feelings too. [1,000 words] [Horror] God Does Indeed Understand Irony (Short Stories) Basically a strange way to die. [691 words] In The End All Becomes Clear (Short Stories) When death comes knocking, do you open the door? [831 words] [Drama] Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven (Short Stories) A man searches for his father but will he find him? [3,026 words] [Thriller]
Is Evil Edible? Johnny Abrahams
The kebab came wrapped in foil, a special magical foil that protected me from the evils of the night. How it came to my hands was a mystery but the warmth however fleeting was a godsend. The night was dark and windy, the barometric pressure was low and this cause goose bumps up and down my skin.
Static electricity charged the air, the devils were taken on a human form and were walking amongst us, they baited me with their feminine beauty but I had the magical kebab which I thrusted into their faces, the juices from the cooked meats sizzling on contact. I staggered to my destination under a spell of confusion and disorientation.
Arriving at a large gathering of people I entered a dark non descript building knowing that I would soon be facing the end of the world. People were everywhere and lights dazzled and stung leaving blurry marks on my retinas. I was prodded and probed, shoved and pushed, hands reached for the kebab but my vice like grip could not give it up, to lose the kebab was to lose life.
Devils in the form of women tried to grab my attention but I was not to taken that easy. My shirt was ripped off and left a ragged mess dangling from the back of my jeans. A woman who I thought was an angel sent to help me captivated me momentarily. I stood unconsciously spinning as the woman approached, she lick her thick ruby lips in a luscious anti-clock wise motion.
Drifting to a new plane of excitement a final vision was cast into the back of my mind, millions of people stuck on spits screaming in indescribable agony against large heated plates of metal, sweat and juices falling to the floor where they were mopped up by small red devil like creatures with dirty off white chefs hats on. Gathering what resolve I had, I fought against an overwhelming sense of love that had just below it, and simmering to the top quickly images of death followed by decay, the love acting as a mask that in my present state of poison my mind could not see through. Looking into the eyes of the woman I could see the souls of millions trapped and crying in pain, she opened her mouth to kiss me I was powerless to stop, I was drawn closer and closer until a lemon ruski bottle found its way under my feet staggering me into her soft and inviting chest. Acting on reflexes cast into me from a thousand falls my hands came up into a quickly disappearing vertical push up stance. The kebab resembled a round elongated children's wooden peg looking for its correct hole. The kebab slid into the awaiting mouth of the woman. Lipstick smearing on the foil. Her eyes opened wide and green smoke bellowed from her eyes that smelt similar to undercooked sultana cake. All strength and structure fell away and she fell to the floor in a gelatinous smoking lump. Her bra was a novelty bra that had fancy lights that blinked and finally went out. The world was saved. Trumpets blazed around the sky but off tune bag pipes blazed away in my head.
READER'S REVIEWS (7) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Nothing short of a masterpiece. 10/10 Kebab's" -- Matt Tranby, Sydney, NSW, Australia.
"Pretty good. Lots of description. Smells nice." -- joel.
"Gimme that kebab! Give it to me! Sorry, I'm in a weird mood today. I like this story especially. It combines our two most basic hungers. Sex ( oral sex in this case? ) and food. You're descriptions are so vivid Johnny. They are so unbelievable yet so graphic, you can't help but see them! " -- Harriet.
"P.S.: Are u suggesting that oral sex is . . . EVIL? " -- Harriet.
"As a male I could never admit to oral sex being evil, even bad oral sex is good oral sex." -- TheAuthor, Sydney.
"You have issue's that have yet to be resolved. Read T-H-E N-U-T-HARE B-A-R-T-E-R-I-N-G R-A-B-B-I-T K-I-D by me, and be in awe." -- ChristopherehpotsirhC, RaguMan, ManRagu, ManMAn manMAn.
"I think its bloody well written. i'd read the book. it sounds like you're recounting a dream." -- Martin Glenpool.
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