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Adventures In The Land Of The Unexpected
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TITLE (EDIT)
Adventures In The Land Of The Unexpected |
DESCRIPTION
A satirical look at the conference circuit in the unusual setting of Papua New Guinea.
[1,066 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Will E Drillit |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
A casual observer of elemental forms of society.
[September 2001] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
m1810@start.com.au |
Adventures In The Land Of The Unexpected
Will E Drillit
Hi Alison
Adventures in the land of the unexpected
It was early Monday morning as the mostly bleary-eyed troupe gathered together in the hotel foyer, the enthusiasm and light-hearted rivalry of the ice-breaker party the night before just a vague and distant memory. The air was cool and pungent, the result of a cosmopolitan blend of delicate delegate bouquet, South Pacific essence and the recycled air conditioning. Yet, as in times past, the organising committee had worked wonders in pulling the whole thing together and once again included a high class field of capable speakers. It was day 1 of the 4th Petroleum Convention, Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea and proceedings were about to get underway.
Coming right on the heels of the APPEA Conference in Brisbane, some delegates were highly selective about which papers would gain their undivided attention. I mean, there’s only so much you can take in and it’s not in the best of form these days to nod off during the sessions.
So the scene was set. Take in the papers of interest, see the people you needed to see and then get out and look around this truly exotic location. However, those delegates expecting a tropical paradise were to be somewhat disappointed.
Outside, the 3 metre steel fence topped with razor wire surrounding the hotel perimeter and the guys with the Rottweilers and batons gave a hint of a suggestion that it was probably better and safer to be on the inside. However, 3 full days cooped up inside did not cut it with certain individuals and the talk at the end of the first day revolved around just a single subject….escape!!
The first indication of stir-crazy behaviour appeared late on the first afternoon. A chap named “Pleasance” came strolling through the hotel lobby whistling a tune from the famous war movie about a group of allied prisoners of war who were being a pain in the arse to their captors. The tune went largely unnoticed but when he started shaking his trouser legs and dispersing imaginary dirt across the marble floor, immediate empathy was achieved with kindred spirits with the same thoughts in mind. The escape committee was born.
The Oilman’s barbecue later in the evening provided the perfect cover for the first full meeting for escape artists Pleasance, McQueen, Coburn and Attenborough. The plot was simple. The following morning after the seismic papers and the paper on the Stanley discovery, a vehicle would be commandeered from the adjoining compound and a forage into the outside world would be undertaken. It was important not to be away too long, just a brief recce on the first occasion. Through our extensive network, we had discovered the existence of another escape committee. The Interoil people had planned a breakout for the following afternoon, using the cover of making a boat trip to their proposed refinery site. We had to be back for that as it offered up a further opportunity of attaining freedom. After a few more beers and, content that all eventualities had been covered, we retired early, buoyed with renewed enthusiasm for what the following day might bring.
And so it went as the plan worked beautifully. A quick trip around the town by main road to see the sights, a short stopover for lunch at the local curryhouse and back to the hotel with just enough time for a quick brush-up before liaising with the Interoil escape committee.
The Interoil boat trip proved to be a bittersweet experience but nevertheless a highlight of the conference. To be out there on the open sea and be so close to freedom yet knowing in the back of our minds we were soon to return to port. The disappointment was tempered by the excellent hospitality of our hosts at Interoil who went overboard to ensure that everybody on deck had a good time. We arrived back at the hotel in good spirits and just in time for the start of the cultural evening which was characterised by some noisy locals banging loud drums. Still, we were in other places mentally so it hardly seemed to matter. We had enjoyed the taste of freedom so much it was decided the last day should follow a similar pattern. Early in the morning someone remarked that the afternoon sessions concentrated on the unknown subject matter of Environmental Geology and Land and Community Affairs. It was felt that a little knowledge in these areas could prove dangerous and our concerns were borne out when it was noticed the last couple of papers were entitled “Changing the free lunch culture” and “Singing songs of expectation”.
Coburn had struck paydirt, having somehow managed to secure himself a flight back to Singapore at lunchtime with one of the local partisans in a small Cessna. That left the rest of us out on a limb for something to do, particularly as we were without a vehicle. As is always the case under trying circumstances, necessity becomes the mother of invention. McQueen and Pleasance opted for the Interoil “déjà vu” trip as it was on once again. However, Attenborough, wary of the pitfalls in such a caper opted instead for the safety of the PNG Yacht Club bar and a chance to bring his notes up to date.
As it turned out, the déjà vu trip never eventuated because of engine problems on board the vessel. It could also have had more to do with the lack of variation of attendees who turned up for the trip. Anyway, back to the hotel to get ready for the dinner dance which turned out to be the best night of the convention. After the obligatory speeches and food were put to bed a good time was had by all out on the dance floor. At the end of the evening the escape committee was disbanded, secure in the knowledge that when this event comes around again in 3 or 4 year’s time, everyone involved will plan a little better in advance – and take a good book!!
Oh, and the conference. Generally upbeat with some excellent papers; OilSearch putting together a 12 well program; Interoil looking at 10 wells next year; the gas pipeline borderline at best; a few smaller players sniffing around for new acreage and a widespread view that the PNG government machine has a lot of work to do to hold the interest of those looking to explore this fascinating country.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Will E Drillit |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
September 2001 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2426
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