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The Secret Admirer
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The Secret Admirer
An admirer from afar? Or is he really a harmful stalker?
[1,051 words]
Yolanda Sfetsos
I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband and baby daughter.

Writing fiction has been a hobby of mine for over a decade, and has now become a passion.

I love writing and creating new characters which reach out beyond the realms of this world, or unsual people who go unnoticed in society.

[July 2001]
The Secret Admirer
Yolanda Sfetsos

He’d been admiring her from a distance for a long time.

She somehow, single handedly, became the only source of happiness left in his life.

Samuel was a loner, a quiet man whose family and few friends had given up on years before. He was now totally on his own with no job, and a poor excuse for a life. His entire existence fed off this stranger.

A woman, who may otherwise be seen as average, he saw as the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on. He saw her through very different eyes. Saw past the blond frizzy hair, the slightly long nose and the skinny frame.

He saw her through the eyes of a lonely man in his mid-thirties. A man who’d never been with a woman that he hadn’t paid for. His stocky build and balding hair didn’t exactly attract women, but what usually repelled females even more than his looks, were his eyes. They were so dark, gloomy, and filled with a darkness that made anyone who looked into them cringe.

As far as he was concerned, she was the only woman he needed in his life, even if she wasn’t even aware of his existence. He fell in love with her two years before, after she jogged past him in the park. Their eyes met for only a few seconds but she captured his heart forever. His heart belonged to a woman who wasn’t even aware of his feelings.

He purposely passed by her many times but she never noticed him. Sometimes she appeared to be looking at him, but he could never be sure, she was caught up in her own world.

Samuel followed her around since, to her apartment, job, anytime she was out he wouldn’t be far behind, in the shadows. It was easy for him to follow her around - they were both residents in a large complex full of apartment blocks - she lived in one and he in another, but they still remained strangers.
While she went about her normal life, he watched every move. She was unaware that to this bizarre individual she was like an ongoing movie. Wherever she went, Samuel and his cameras would follow. Taking countless of photos and hours of footage on his video camera. There were close ups, long shots, and even odd shots with her smiling, laughing, shopping, and walking.

All of these photos lined the walls of his apartment; the whole place was a shrine to the woman that he was deeply, and insanely, obsessed with… Jennifer Landers.
During the last year he started to notice something different about Jennifer. She hardly ever smiled anymore. Yet he failed to make the inevitable connection that the deterioration of her happiness was a result of his own actions.

For in his mind, even though he was living the fantasy of a stalker, he had absolutely no intention of harming her physically or otherwise. He knew something that she would never find out - that he was harmless.

Instead, Samuel continued to unintentionally hurt the person he was in love with, more than his twisted mind would ever know. He’d driven a stake of fear so deep into the heart of this woman that he was the reason why Jennifer had stopped smiling; stopped living a proper life.

The flowers, chocolates, and all of the other gifts that he was anonymously sending to her work and home were only adding to the fear that Jennifer already had, along with his calls. He loved to hear her sweet voice, but the silence only scared her further to reclusion.

He called her again tonight, at the same time that he did every night since finding out her telephone. She hadn’t answered. Instead she once again ignored the phone, even though she was home. Samuel always knew when she was home; he would stand by the mailboxes as she arrived home from work every day.

When his phone started ringing only minutes later, it startled him. He didn’t get any phone calls, unless they were wrong numbers. But this wasn’t one of those.



“Hello?” He repeated. His voice sounded rusty, he hardly even put one sentence together each day.

Further silence followed.

“Hello Jennifer, I know it’s you, I’ve got caller ID”

A quivering voice finally replied. “Please leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that… I love you.”

“Please, please leave me alone.” Her voice quivered as she started to cry.

 “Oh Jennifer no, please don’t cry. I won’t hurt you, we will soon be together and you will see how happy I can make you.”

Suddenly there was a loud noise on her end of the line.

“What’s going on?” Samuel asked, genuinely concerned.

Jennifer continued to cry but didn’t say anything.

There were yells now; it sounded as if someone was knocking hard on her door. Yelling at the same time, Samuel couldn’t make out the words.

“Who’s that Jennifer?”

He heard an awkward sound, as if the phone had dropped out of her grasp. Suddenly his body began to shake. For the first time, he felt fear wash over his body. Something else must’ve been underlying in the life of his beauty, being drowned by his own actions.
The line was cut off.

Samuel dialed that familiar number we call during an emergency. He informed the operator of the location and of the disturbance then hung up. Once again remaining anonymous.

The next evening he found himself in the darkness of his one bedroom apartment allowing the silence to wrap itself around him. He sat staring at all of the photos of his beautiful, Jennifer, as her face also appeared on his television screen. This was all that he had left of her… there would now only be her memory to stalk.

Jennifer would never know how much this stranger cared for her. He dedicated many hours to someone he hadn’t even met; he’d only known her from a distance and invaded the privacy of her life, for his own selfish gain.

Jennifer Landers’ body was found in her apartment the night before. She’d been murdered; died a tragic soul with the pain that he himself helped put in her life.

For the first time during his obsession, he felt partly responsible… but Samuel heard the killer’s name, the one truly responsible for her death.

He could no longer be her secret admirer.



"Powerful... the way it was delivered was refreshing and shows the weakness but yet power indivulas have over their lives and others' lives!" -- CV.
"I enjoyed reading this and became very involved in the story, but I think it could be improved in a number of ways. Firstly, we don't really understand the feelings and motives of the stalker, even though you try hard to get them across. I wanted to know what the girl represented for him, why pick on her rather than someone else: did she remind him of a childhood love, or what was it about her that had really pressed his buttons? Why did he have eyes "filled with a darkness that made anyone who looked into them cringe?". You have made him physically unattractive but I think it would actually be more interesting if he was physically completely ordinary and unremarkable, and all the problems that stopped him forming normal relationships were inside his head. Similarly for the girl, we know the facts of the case, that she is being followed etc., but who is she, what kind of life has she got, is she a loner as well, is she secretly flattered by his attentions at some level? I don't think we get much sense of the girl as a person. Finally the ending is a bit unsatisfactory, it might be more powerful if the stalker at this point turned into a determined killer and decided to go after her murderer. I think it's potentially an excellent framework for a story and you are certainly able to write but you do it in a way that is too "straight" and concentrate too much on externals. Hope this is helpful. " -- David Gardiner, London, England.
"IT IS A GOOD STORY" -- CHUANEE TANCHUAN, singapore, singapore, singPORE.
"It is a very nice and interresting story." -- Sheryl Yap, Singapore, Singapore, Singapore.
"It is a nice and sad story !!!" -- Sheryl Yap, Singapore, Singapore, Singapore.
"It's a touching and a rather realistic story" -- Joanne, jb, malaysia, johor.


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© 2001 Yolanda Sfetsos
July 2001

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