1 June 2001
School is just so boring lately I swear I could have died of boredom. Why can’t it be a bit exciting? Everyday I wakes up knowing what will happen that day. Go to school, study, recess, more study, go home, homework, help mom, play in the playground (hey, I DO realize I’m going to be 16 this 14th!), go home again, dinner, more study (mom makes me to), and go to bed. And the next day, the routine will repeat itself again and again and oh, how boring this life is. I wish it’ll end soon….
3 June 2001
I’m starting to believe that you can always expect the unexpected. Why? Hehe, there’s a new student today….. and the fact that he’s a boy makes me more delighted. His name is Stan. He’s kinda cute, but he looks weird though. He has a pair of pale gray eyes and they look scary. But somehow I love it that way….but something told me that those eyes keep so many stories behind. I really want to find out that they are….
5 June 2001
I knew it!!! Why can’t they have more like, dignity? Those girls are sooo cheap! Everyone wanted to get close to him that I didn’t have a chance to. Darn! Tina and Mandy didn’t help either. They bought some cheap chocolates to share with Stan, but you know something diary….he didn’t touch any. He didn’t even smile and he only talked when he needed to. During recess, we all went to the canteen and I forgot to take out my money in the class so I went back alone. You know how Tina and Mandy lurve foods they didn’t even bother to accompany me, but I don’t really care. They’re always like that, hehe. Back to the story, when I went into the class, he was there! STAN WAS IN THE CLASS!!! He was checking out my place and when he realized I was there too, he looked up and stared into my eyes. I swear I could have melted right away, right there. Strangely (for him!), he spoke my name…. “Angy…”, slowly that I thought he was whispering. He came close to me like he wanted to say something else and when he was really close to me… I mean REALLY close that I could feel his breath, he walked away from the class. Ain’t it strange or what? But I think I’m falling in love with him….
7 June 2001
Stan was being punched and kicked by Tommy & the gang because he claimed Stan was flirting with his vixen, Maria. But I knew Maria was flirting with him and not he with her. He didn’t flirt with any other better girls, what’ll make him flirt with a girl like Maria?! He was bleeding quite badly, but he still had the calm face he always have. No one was there to help him, so I did. When I bandaged him, he kept staring at me and I honestly asked him why. You know what his answer was? Here’s exactly his words “I think you’re the stupidest person in the Earth for helping someone you barely knows….especially me. This would be your biggest mistake”. I was blank. I didn’t know what to say. I’ve prepared my answer for the “I Love You’ script, but I didn’t expect he would say that. I only stayed calm and I explained to him for the rest of the time about love, humanity, and everything else I remembered from my literature class. He didn’t say anything. But in a way, I saw with my own eyes how his pale eyes burnt with anger and he stared sharply at Tommy & the gang. Something told me that something’s bad going to happen. If not now, soon…
9 June 2001
I visited them today in the hospital. They’re still in coma and the doctors said that Tommy might not make it. Maria was crying all over him… with her new boyfriend, Matt. They involved in a bad accident yesterday. I felt sorry for everything that occurred, but I’m sure the nerds who they used to bully won’t be. I can’t help but thinking that Stan has something to do with this. I hate myself for thinking that way, but what if it’s true? Oh gosh, I got into my wild imagination AGAIN! Stan won’t do such a thing. I mean, of course he’s a little weird….well okay, VERY weird ALL the time, but he’s not that cruel and even if he is, what kind of supernatural power does he have to have control the accidents???
12 June 2001
I went to the school prom tonight… alone just because I wanted Stan to ask me, but I should have known better it wouldn’t happen in this lifetime. Oh well, but on my way home, I stopped by the my favourite playground and swung in my favourite swing. Suddenly, I felt someone pushing me softly and when I turned back, it was Stan! How surprising! Then he took my hand and we danced to the music of the wind. It was the best moment ever. I closed my eyes and laid my head beside his and I felt his warmth….and he whispered, “Angy, I don’t want to love you”. Oh not again, I thought. I looked at him and he had his eyes locked into mine. He then said softly but firmly, “But I already do”. I didn’t realize it when I gave my answer to him, but I still have the picture in my mind when I saw his smile at the first time and when he kissed me tenderly. I don’t want the moment to end…. I want to stay that way forever….life has become meaningful for me…. I love him. I really, really, do. And nothing would stop me.
14 June 2001
Sweet sixteen for me! It’s my birthday today! We had a blast in the party, but I didn’t really enjoy it because Stan wasn’t there. He had something really important thing to settle down or so he said, but he promised to come this midnight. When I was starting to take a bath, I stepped on a soap and I fell down. I think I broke my skull and I didn’t get the time to scream. It happened so fast, so quickly. The next thing I knew, I was in a big, dirty, and hot place….more like a castle to me. There were so many scary people around me who kept shouting at me. Some guards pulled my hands. I didn’t want to follow them so I cried. I didn’t know what else to do. Then I heard a voice, a familiar one, it’s Stan’s. He said, “Let my Angy go. She doesn’t belong here. She should be in the Earth with her loved ones”. They stopped and they discuss something with each other that I can’t hear clearly. After a couple of minutes with the discussion, with me sitting with some heavy chains, and with some screaming coming from outside, I was blinking to the ceiling of my own bathroom. No broken skull, only a soap lying still by my side. I rose up, reached for my blanket, and went to bed. That night I dreamt of Stan saying to me, his Angel, “I have to go now Angy. It’s you or me and now you know who. I was a scum evil sent to the Earth to get an angel who’s unfortunately you, to be trapped in the hell. Everything worked out fine, except that the satan fell in love with the angel. I traded myself for you. My life was nothing before I met you and it would be nothing if I lost you. I’m sorry Angy, but please remember that I love you, I did love you, and I will always love you. Please remember me and no one else will”.
15 June 2001
It’s real. The terrifying experience and the dream. They were all true. Stan wasn’t in the school and I knew he won’t be forever. I never cried before, but I am now. It was the end of spring and it’s raining with the leaves falling off their trees. I went out and danced alone under the rain. Stan, I wish deep inside that you were dancing with me right here, right now….
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