I wish that these cops would get their story straight. I�m a good guy, even though my reputation isn�t really on my side. This is really what happened.
One rainy day, this little girl with a little red parka came skipping down the little forest lane. With her, she had a big waterproof basket, that, even through the rain, I could smell the goodies it held. I was really hungry, so I decided I would get those goodies. I nicely walked up to her and asked her for a peek inside the basket. She told me I couldn�t look, �for the goodies might get wet�. I insisted on taking a peek, but she insisted even more on keeping it closed. I was beginning to get angry, and I felt my stomach rumble. I decided on another plan. I kindly asked where she was taking the treats, and she told me that she was taking them to Granny Annie Tammy�s house. There was only one Granny Annie Tammy in Fairy Tale Land, and she lived right next to Cinderella�s castle�s property. I hurried along, determined to get those treats. I border a bus, hailed a few taxis, caught a jet, hitch hiked on a train, and finally got to Granny Annie Tammy�s house. I silently opened the door, and a shrilling scream greeted me. I, well, panicked, of course, and picked up Granny Annie Tammie, who was sitting on the couch, and, well, I kind of threw her into the closet- CRASH! BANG! AHH!!- and locked the door. I looked out the window to see if someone from Cinderella�s castle or from the little pigs� brick house, which was on the opposite side of Granny Annie Tammy�s house, had noticed, no one had, but I saw the little red girl with the little red parka!!! I, well, panicked again, and went over to Granny Annie Tammy�s clothes closet and slipped one of her night gowns on. I hopped into Granny Annie Tammy�s bed right as the little red girl- whom now I know is Little Red Riding Hood- knocked on the door. I told her to �Come in� in my granniest voice, in which the little red girl did do. She came over to Granny Annie Tammy�s bed, and told me- while I was Granny Annie Tammy- �I have some cookies for you, Granny�. I told her to let me have them, when she told me what big eyes I had. I told her that they were for the better for me to see her with. Then she told me what big ears I had. I told her those were for the better to hear her with. Then, of course, she told me what a big mouth I had- which contain sparkling white beauties, by the way- and, of course, I told her what the better to eat the cookies with. From her stories, I take it that she misheard me and she thought that I said what the better to eat her with- which I didn�t say; at least I don�t think I did. Then, randomly, the Baby Bear, whom wasn�t anywhere near when the incident happened, said that I said for the better to eat porridge with in his story. Then, after I said whatever I said, I jumped up and chased the little red girl, because, of course, she still held the big waterproof basket full of sweet-smelling cookies. I chased her around until a maid from Cinderella�s castle noticed, and called the cops.
Now, here I am, in a jail cell. Telling the police I am innocent, mostly. They don�t believe me, but, well, I am the Big Bad Wolf after all.
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