Journey To The Planet Merridion by Michael Harris This is my third tale in what I'm calling "The Adrian and Lucalan Saga," unless... [8,445 words]
After Sex And Love What Then. by Terry Collett - [692 words]
The Moon Inside by Soron - [1,422 words]
Pt.2 Of Barbie Beaten By Brats! (The Rest Told By Strawberry Shortcake) by Dream Rinsed observations of childplay from a twiste... [175 words]
Mayster's Broad. by Terry Collett - [514 words]
Barbie Beaten By Brats! (As Told By Rainbow Brite) Pt1 by Dream Rinsed observations of childplay from a twisted point of view. [172 words]
Asylum Blues. by Terry Collett - [578 words]
Speed Trap by Matthew Lett Ever imagine getting stopped by the Highway Patrol in the middle of nowhere, for basically nothing? ... [7,283 words]
Dexter's Destiny by Matthew Lett One man's terrifying road to redemption, and beyond! [4,977 words]
At Clarence's by Randall Barfield - [290 words]
Victorian Winters by Joel Ficelle This story continues on from Victorian Summer, Return to the City and The Ruby Necklace. It c... [15,734 words]
Victorian Summer by Joel Ficelle This story continues on from The Ruby Necklace and Return to the City. It could be called The ... [20,604 words]
The Ruby Necklace by Joel Ficelle Story set in Victotian times [9,707 words]
The Cookery Class by Joel Ficelle Erotic Story based on Nude Cooking. Man meets girl in a class and they pursue affair. [5,535 words]
Return To The City by Joel Ficelle Story set in Victorian times Story continues on from another story: The Ruby Necklace. [12,666 words]
No Happily Ever After by Adria Steuer Everybody makes mistakes. That's what our parents tell us. But sometimes that lesson is... [1,192 words]
A Tale Of A Squire by Terence Boydon A short tale about a squire and love. [1,065 words]
A Strawberry Short Story by Terence Boydon A short story between a girl and a boy. May be your typical, you judge it. ;) [3,506 words]
The Diary by Raine Lariza It is a story of a girl and her mysterious diary.. Why it is a mysterious one? Find out why.. [839 words]
Victory In The Mist Of Defeat by Bridgett Nesbit A young pastor along with other concerned community leaders and pastors hold a me... [882 words]
Towards Far Far Away by Abhijit Sarma Barua It is about a man, who has lost almost all of his human emotions due to some incidents, oc... [2,250 words]
Opening Up Her Home And Heart by Bridgett Nesbit Anna Howard could shoulder her own pain; living with lupus for over ten years but... [831 words]
Monolog Monkey by Michael Potter A young man deals with being laid off. [5,501 words]
How To Teach The Law Of Attraction by Jack Jakuper - [332 words]
Helle ... Hello .... by Abhijit Sarma Barua A boy was in love with an younger girl, whom he admired very mach and most interestingly h... [1,915 words]
Child Of God by Bridgett Nesbit Tamara Stevens's husband had forgotten how long they'd known one another and rumors of Pastors inf... [16,631 words]
A Visit by Randall Barfield - [245 words]
War Memories 2 by E M K S Moresteel The continuation of war memories 1. Moore and steel find a deadly hidden secret. [897 words]
Rosemary by Lilli Brachman - [1,310 words]
Bikers Gone Wild by Brayden Dent A short, funny story of me learning a lesson the hard way on my rusty, trusty bike a few years... [221 words]
War Memories 1 by E M K S Moresteel The adventures of Sgt. Moore, and General Steel as they fight they're way through this fictional... [801 words]
The Bloodless War by S Michael Downs IN THE BLOODLESS WAR THE CASUALTIES ARE VOLUNTEERS. IT TAKES INDIFFERENCE TO SURVIVE IN THE W... [613 words]
She Only Got Flowers From Him Once. by Emory L Griffin Pretty serious read and I believe it's some good stuff. It's a different di... [539 words]
Lose Or Win, It's All The Same In The End. by Emory L Griffin post-apocalyptic America story. It's short, so do me a favor and rea... [269 words]
Answer To A Not-So-General Question by Jennifer Hendershot A story about love lost and closure. [1,771 words]
1 To 3 Turns by Emory L Griffin inspired by Bruce Coville's the monster's ring. It is a little more dark, and slightly more ominou... [1,254 words]
The Merchantilers by Bo Turner A story of how illiterate African Americans were treated even unto the mid 1900s. [560 words]
The Locker Room Secret by Latina Torrence - [1,006 words]
The Goodbye by Randall Barfield My 2nd attempt at a 'western'. It won a cherry at abctales.com (shoebox) [752 words]
The Doctor Is In. by Emory L Griffin short horror story [538 words]
Spf-1000 (Vampires Are Real And They Have Sunscreen!)
Past Five by Brian Mey a short story by brianmey [3,116 words]
Out Of Ink, Out Of Time by T J Rintoull Tongue-in cheek short story about office work and accidents of quantum physics. [627 words]
Nightmare (On 7th Ave) by Mary Anne Caudill I thought that sleep would help me escape the chaos in my life, but no such luck [1,499 words]
Moving In by Emory L Griffin An homage to "The new house" by Randall Barfield. I hope I did it justice. [598 words]
Little Lord Faunty by Jerry Vilhotti Trying to find a place not too crowded .... [1,185 words]
Life After Death? by Emory L Griffin thought provoking short. [681 words]
Giving, An American Tradition by Emory L Griffin - [749 words]
Epistle To Faeries Past by T J Rintoull A letter to a ghost of the past. [814 words]
Dreams Of A Blacken Heart by Latina Torrence - [538 words]
Don't Tell Anyone by Randall Barfield - [258 words]
Dear Detective Lovett by Randall Barfield - [646 words]
Ain't Love Grand? by Emory L Griffin short horror story,in my opinion, my best. [876 words]
Zimbabwe by J L Watts A fictional account of the emotions of a victim of land reform in Zimbabwe. [401 words]
The Elephant In The Room by Emory L Griffin short horror story [852 words]
Paradise by Calliope Irja Pearl Nelson You can't outgrow anything, least of all yourself. [464 words]
Marsten by Randall Barfield - [408 words]
Her By Stephen Knight by Shinning Knight Short story [2,287 words]
Her By Stephen C Knight by Stephen C Knight story [2,637 words]
Bon Appetit by Emory L Griffin A chilling meal for three. [821 words]
The Spiders And Johnny Bailes by Phil Neale For a lonely boy, the spider seemed to be his only friend, especially when it sp... [2,933 words]
The Scam Artist by Thomas Cherian It is a story about people who live of by tricking or scaming other human beings. [1,264 words]
Return Mail(Mail Part 2) by Emory L Griffin - [318 words]
Philomena D. Gavod - Madness by Philomena D Gavod I have mentioned before that i am a huge Phantom of the Opera fan. This short stor... [874 words]
My Lady In White by Emory L Griffin different direction than my other stories. [768 words]
Mail by Emory L Griffin a man receives a horrifying letter. [382 words]
Alice In Alaska by Journey Two Alice is bored, she decides to answer an advertisement in a newspaper, "Alaskan men looking for... [339 words]
A Visit Home by Journey Two A story about an Alaskan Yupik Eskimo woman who travels to her home town on Thanksgiving to visit ... [339 words]
A Kid Named Eddie by Emory L Griffin Tale of a twisted boy. [716 words]
Paranoia(Have I Told You This?) by Emory L Griffin Insight into a man slowly losing his mind due to paranoia. [396 words]
The Stone In The Sword by Matthew James Parsons The story of Larmandi, a humble son of a blacksmith who is called on a journey to find a... [9,970 words]
The Lily Painting by M Schied A modern, artistic retelling of Beauty and the Beast. [1,525 words]
Paper Cranes by Meruthiel A short story depicting love, loss, and regret. [1,082 words]
Death's Embrace by Emory L Griffin An old woman is paid a visit from death. [597 words]
Cindy's Fall by Randall Barfield - [526 words]
Black Star by Matthew James Parsons The story of Black Star, an orphan and a thief living in a turbulent time in the recently liberated ... [7,624 words]
Angels Without Wings Can Still Win by Randy Sumner A Sci-Fi short story that I wrote [3,645 words]
The True Stones by Matthew James Parsons The story of Desti and Regalius and their role in the conflict regarding the unimaginably power... [8,543 words]
Tight Jeans 3 by Randall Barfield ... but she was no rose... That's a joke... [228 words]
The Secret's In The Scream, Not The Sauce by Nigel N Samtin A short sory about my first experiences with roller coasters [1,755 words]
The Chesterfield by Deborah Jones I wrote this short story in honor of my Grandfather [1,406 words]
The Car Accident: A Man And His Death by Robert J Parker Joseph Valentine A journey through a dying man's mind. For dreamers, thinkers,and people t... [1,752 words]
The Caligate Murder by Danielle Anne Evans The Caligate Murder; The short story- ... [3,175 words]
Frost by Bernadette On this day, a young girl, 14, discovers that the meaning of Christmas has been ruined! [1,649 words]
Dosvadonya Darling by Joel Weiss A crime story that takes place in Las Vegas [1,914 words]
Them by Ian Quill A short story about governmental control and religion. [2,992 words]
The Last Ballet by Simon Nguyen A true artist does not care about money or fame; it’s the opportunity to perform the art one so... [631 words]
It Started With A Dream. by Corrina Robertson - [610 words]
Garage Talk by Cesar Merano When there is nothing to do on Friday night, three friends, Tom, Neil, and Barry, contemplate on wh... [1,547 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8  10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
Spf-1000 (Vampires Are Real And They Have Sunscreen!)
A man gets converted to a Vampire and discovers an underground world full of celebrities.
Nick Molinari Molinari
First crack at it.
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
Spf-1000 (Vampires Are Real And They Have Sunscreen!)
Nick Molinari Molinari
Two words... Vampire Sunscreen!
-In progress- Started out about Vampire sunscreen and took a turn into celebrity Vampires.
During that orgasm, it felt like my life was draining out of me. Little did I know it literally was.
It was the best, yet strangest sex I'd ever had. Her nether region felt like a combination of mouth and vagina,
I remember thinking, "Maybe she works at the circusssssss......." as her teeth sank into my neck during what would be my last "live" orgasm as I sank into the black of unconsciousness.
Who knows how long I was out, days, weeks, years, I knew something felt strange.
"Things are different now", I heard her say. I could feel her presence more than I could see her.
Different?, was it a "we fucked so it's over" kind of thing?
Her body was like crack and I needed more, please don't cut me off...
She seemed to read my thoughts and said, "No, you are like me now".
Huh? I was beginning to think she was a whack job. Maybe a psycho stalker.
"You've been converted."
What? Oh no, she's a religious nut....
I stumbled looking for my clothes.
"You really can't go anywhere yet..."
Damn, a religious nut,psycho stalker.... Scientologist maybe?
"You're a Vampire" she said matter of factly.
She didn't seem like a "Goth chick". "Yeah, right" I thought out loud. "But we met at the beach." I said, thinking she had to me the mother of all whack jobs.
She held up a bottle as if it would answer all the questions I started to formulate in my slightly panicky state.
Sunblock eh, ok, SPF-1000. Hmmmm, seemed kind of extreme but the way they market half of the useless bullshit in the world I didn't think much of it. "You're really gonna need this".
Great, a super religious goth whack job who's into amway-like marketing schemes.
I ran outside and man did that hurt.....
What happened, a hole in the ozone? It felt like instant sunburn....
"I told you, you're a Vampire", she said dragging my collapsed carcass back into the house.
They're not real!, I stammered. A feeling of horror started to overcome me.
Whatever? You tell me I'm a Vampire and scare the shit out of me, I almost turn into ash on your front porch, and you sum it up with whatever?
Then she started to explain a world I had no idea existed.
"It's like an elite club..."
Club ? What the fuck ? Do I learn a friggin' secret handshake? Do I get a card perhaps ?
"We usually try to get people in their prime. At first it was only attractive people, sex partners, have you ever seen a fat or ugly vampire?."
How would I know ?, you're supposed to be a myth at best...
"You were quite the cunnilinguist, so I decided to keep you around."
Am I supposed to feel flattered? You mean pussy eating saved my life?
"We're fairly discriminate. We cop the best celebrities and the like for entertainment purposes, then there was the Elvis incident..."
You're telling me Elvis was a Vampire, this is fucked up...
"He was spotted a few times. No one wondered why it was only at night."
"There's quite a list. If someone had died mysteriously during their prime, you can be sure they were converted."
Converted, is that what it's called ?
"Like Marilyn Monroe..."
No shit? Wow.... what about JFK?
"C'mon man, everyone saw the pink mist when his head poofed like a jiffypop as the shots hit, plus there aren't a lot of converted politicians as a general rule. They might seek equal rights for the undead and force everyone into the public eye, or be complete assholes anyway, and we like to avoid assholes."
I started getting a mental list... Jimi Hendrix ?
James Dean ?
"Yes, it goes back further, Valentino, Will Rogers..., car and plane crashes make good cover."
"No, I'm pretty sure that was real. Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Joplin, Morrison, Cobain, Dimebag Darrell, hippies and punks are quite popular, getting really high feeding on their "adulterated" blood, some even get addicted to crack-heads, Curly Howard..."
You actually expect me to buy this shit?, Curly from the Three Stooges was a vampire?
"Hell no, he really is on the 50 yard line as far as I know."
What do you have big parties or something?
"There's a few, but mostly lots show up at Mardi Gras, or wherever there's costumes. We do win a lot of contests."
I suppose that's Vampire humor, halloween must be a big deal.
"It doesn't hurt."
So what's the deal then, you all wear special sunscreen, where did that come from?
"Paul McCartney, I buried Paul wasn't far off..."
Get the fuck out of here....
"He had plenty of dough to develop it. He hired a skin cancer doctor and later a scientist to work on it. It's a little like when those douchebags use zinc on their nose. And like with most celebrites, they always get rushed into cars, usually with hats and sunglasses. The paparazzi were a great excuse to avoid direct sunlight during the first tests. Of course it broke up the Beatles."
That explains Keith Richards....
"No, no-one knows what the fuck is going on there...."
This is too much..., no Linda McCartney ?
"Oddly enough Yoko! There's kind of an unwritten family member conversion rule. It's generally thought bad form to convert couples or spouses, especially if there were children involved. A child needs at least one parent and converting children is frowned upon for obvious reasons, no one wants an immortal 10 year old, and by the time the children were grown, the spouses are too old to match up, of course like Bruce Lee, some later converted their adult children. And besides that, monogamy gets old fast."
Of course, it seems logical.... Shit, it seems the "undead" have more of a heart then the living.
"There's always CEO hunting. Some like to hunt greedy CEO's, like Ken Lay from Enron."
"Then there's the Michael Jackson problem, he didn't want to "play dead" he wanted to be like McCartney, then he put some of his conversion in a music video. So they fucked with his sunscreen, he caught fire after exposure to direct sunlight during a Pepsi commercial, he removed his hat, and poof !, his head caught fire ! Usually if you let it go it results in spontaneous human combustion."
I guess that's as reasonable explanation as any, my god alot of this makes sense!
"Jackson was thought to be too obvious what with the white skin and masks, (the sunlight did a number on his face), the "oxygen chamber", it was a coffin of sorts, and that young boy blood he just had to have, those parents are gonna be pissed when their kids don't get any older and develop "Polymorphic Light Eruption". It's thought his flaunting it would force everyone out of the "coffin" so to speak. Yet amazingly enough, like when Joplin offed Mama Cass, and Tupac offed Biggie, both for revenge and food or a "pleasure kill", no one caught on. Eventually they converted a scientist, figuring a converted one had a better "selfish" motive to develop a better sunscreen formula. Who didn't miss the sunlight ?.
Once the sunscreen (SPF1000) was able to be mass produced, decisions had to be made. All or nothing. Just one Vampire can't come out of the coffin without them all being exposed. Just acknowledgment of only one's existence would create a shit storm of gargantuan proportions..."
Ohhh a Vampire drama queen....Why not just hide like some gay's are able to?
"There's like an advanced "gaydar" where once you know it's real, you can feel it, plus the greedy corporate cocksuckers would start shit about "life insurance" and question every claim ever made, that's also what makes CEO hunting so much fun..."
They don't convert them?
"No, I told you we don't like assholes. If they really suck, we give them a half ass conversion and let them be zombies, especially the really greedy or hateful cocksuckers. Fuck 'em. It's like hey, you've been such an asshole, you're a zombie now bitch! Enjoy!"
Get the fuck out of here! Zombies are real now too??
"The bad part is, being a zombie doesn't stop them from still being an asshole! Ever met a zombie who wasn't? Those mother fuckers".......
Submit Your Review for Spf-1000 (Vampires Are Real And They Have Sunscreen!)
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
Submit Your Rating for Spf-1000 (Vampires Are Real And They Have Sunscreen!)
© 2009 Nick Molinari Molinari
|STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
|NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED