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State Of Mind
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TITLE (EDIT)
State Of Mind
DESCRIPTION
A boy tells the story of how he ended up in hell.
[865 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Psychology
AUTHOR
Joshua Purdom
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, i'm Josh, im a 18 year old machinest. I like to write in my free time,(When I Have Some!!!)
[December 2007]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected]
State Of Mind
Joshua Purdom



        Darkness, you've never really experience it untill you've visted it, lived it, been traped by it. None of us really know what true darkness is untill we no longer walk on this earth. Most people call the darkness hell, but in actuallity it's much worse. Blind, deaf, unable to feel, unable to talk, stuck in the darkness with nothing else but your thoughts. I derserve to be here, I condemed myself to this hell, and now im stuck here replaying my life over and over in my head. Everytime convencing myself more and more that i derserve to be here.

Life was never good to me, I had a loveing father, many brothers, and everything i could ever ask for, but behind that "Loving" family something was wrong. As a kid i would never really play outside, not because i was'nt very active, but because i was never alloud. me and my brothers we home schooled, i never new anyone other then my brothers and my father. they were my best friends, we loved each other more then life itself. I know, that sounds like a great life. But thats only a bit of it. We lived in a huge basement in witch we were never alloud to leave, all 10 of us would sleep in the sleeping bags dad put out for us at 9:45 every night. Everything was perfect, of course we never knew of the outside world, and how wrong it was of us to survive. Untill I was 12, i never knew that everytime we we ate we were condemeing ourselfs to entirnel darkness. Three times a day, father would unlock the door leading up to the house and throw down our meals. Hunks of smoked meat, arms, legs, feet. We were eating people, we never thought anything of it, it's been that way since we were babies, when i asked him about it he told me that everybody ate this as a kid and it was just a part of growing up. Still, as i grew, i started to question our little world that we live in. I started to wonder why some of my brothers had a different color skin then mine. I also started to wonder what was the outsid like. So one day, wile my brothers were asleep. I took a hammer that was on the work bench, a few of my brothers liked to build stuff, and I broke the lock. When i walked through the door, i found a light switch and turned it on. Only to see blood, limbs, saws, and bodys hanging from the ceiling, I became sick to my stomic. The room was huge, at the other end was another work bench with thousands of picture tacked into the wall above it. I spent a few minunts trying to sort everything out in my mind. When I relized that they were arranged conologicly, at one end were pictures of babies at some park and as it progressed to the other end the kid would grow. I noticed that the first few pictures were in parks, wile the other ones were taken in our basement. Thats when I relized that the kids in the pictures were my brothers. We were prisoners, taken from our real families and held captive in a basement, forced to eat others. I was disgusted, the man who I loved as a father, who would take care of me when I was sick, who gave me all the love i could ask for, was a murderer! He allways told me that hurting other people was wrong, unjust, and evil, when he himself was killing others for food! My world was smashed, i did'nt know what to do, as i looked through the pile of papers on the work bench. What i needed to do became clear, i had to stop my father from killing anyone else.

I made my way up to the kitchen and got a knife, slowly found my way up to his room. He was laying there sleeping. I walked up to him said i loved him under my breath, and stabed him in the heart, over and over again. I stood there, wiped the blood off my face, walked over to the christmas tree. I found a gun rapped in one of the presents, went outside and looked at the moon for the first time. Thought of my brothers and how they would survive, I did'nt care. I took the gun and raised it to my head, that was the end, since then nothing.

Nothing, at least untill i relized that you make your own hell, after a unknown amount of time, I started to think that it was'nt my fault, and that he dirserved to die. As I started to think about that, the strangest thing happened. The darkness started to disapear! All of a sudden i started to feel, my limbs tingled, a beautiful forest appeared all around me. Then it hit me Heaven, hell, it's all a state of mind, when I figured out it was'nt my fault i earned my way into heaven. My own perfect heaven.

 

READER'S REVIEWS (4)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.

"I say the origial review (your only review) before you had it pulled. Richard and Lester are right. You kids can't handle the truth. " -- Connie.
"I SAW the original review. Sorry about that. " -- Connie.
"It might appear that Lester, Richard and Connie have tapped the top on reviews, sucks to be at the mercy of a those who are above the rest of us. It also appears that those who speak the truth hide behind masks as though they were God.I wonder what weight that carries?" -- needful.
"Seems to me that at least we shameless critics use real names, (at least I do) and don't hide behind emotional adverbs like "needful," loveless, frantic, and paranoid, which describes most of you little insecure, wanna-be phonies. " -- Connie.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2007 Joshua Purdom
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
December 2007
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1613
 

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