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Confessing Feeling...
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Confessing Feeling...
A short story.
[899 words]
M Rafique Danish
The author is studying at MDH, Sweden. He has immense interests in research, reading and writing. He has been Assistant Director, Higher Education Commission, Government of Pakistan, Islamabad. He is also a freelance technical writer.
[October 2007]
[email protected]
Confessing Feeling...
M Rafique Danish

It was a beautiful cool Saturday night of Västerås. Karl was sitting in a bar on a sofa with a half filled glass of beer in his hand and a burned cigarette in his two fingers. A half empty bottle of beer and a packet of cigarette lying on a table in front of him. He was not used to of drinking or smoking. He was very quite and feeling loneliness that day. Perhaps, something was disturbing him.
Meanwhile, a blonde lady of middle age sat aside him quietly. After a moment of silence, Karl asked if she would like to smoke or drink. She without any hesitation took the packet of cigarette and burned the cigarette as she just sat for it.

She puffed on the cigarette and by looking at Karl said with a little smile, "tack!”
Karl responded, "Hmm, welcome".

The lady after taking few strong puffs asked, "Why are you sitting alone? Why don't you dance?
The music was too lauded; Karl couldn't listen to her and said, "What?"
In the meantime, a man slipped on Karl with his glass filled of red wine. Karl stood up instantly and made a fail try to clean his dress. The man was too much drunk. Karl helped him to make him stand. The man, who had binge drinking excused for his regretful fault and in jag said "sorry, I'm s'ry!”
Karl didn't say anything and sat back as nothing has happened. After a pause Karl said loudly to the lady, "Do you know why people make sorry?”
The lady instantly asked, "Why".
He said, "to make themselves satisfied!” He repeated "to satisfy themselves!”
Though the lady didn't understand him but gave an impression that she understood what he said. Karl took another cigarette and burned it in a way as he is a chain smoker.
Loud music was irritating both of them. Karl and the lady came out of the bar. It was very cold and clam out there. The lady wanted to know what he said in the bar when the man in jag dropped wine at him.
She anxiously said, "You were saying something...” she paused and continued, "about why people make sorry?".
Karl gave the impression that he didn't say that. Then he said as he recalled, "oh yeh... sorry, sorry is a very sensitive word, if used with care can help in healing broken relationships or if it is not used with care then it may harm more". She was listening to him prudently. Karl was also feeling a sharp interest as after a long time he got some time and someone to speak with.
He continued as he was complaining about something, "hmm, every one of us feels angry with someone else". He paused and continued, "being angry is ok but if someone offers an unconditional sorry then it should be accepted.” he emphasized and repeated the word, "accepted".
The lady was curiously asked, "So how can be judged the apology is sincere".
Karl laughed for a while. He changed his position and said, "a... an apology requires certain conditions and attitudes in order to achieve its purpose of making the effort to settle".
He confided, "Sincerity. Apologizing from heart and focus on forgiveness are important elements." after a break he said "hmm, time, time is also very important. The longer you wait the longer the differences you may face. But some time must be given the person you have hurt to rethink and…”
She interrupted, "But you know, sometimes, we don't mean to hurt someone but we hurt accidentally", she asked as why it happens.
Karl exhaled, "Oof...., even if what happens is an accident or something you don’t mean to do, you would probably still feel sorry if you know the other person's feelings are hurt", he paused, "...after apologizing, you might feel a little better... When you apologize in a caring way, you can feel good because you are trying to make things right again".
The lady said, "But it is always very hard to apologize someone".
Karl said, "You know, Adam had courage to blame God and Eve blamed the serpent. Adam and Eve could have averted punishment if they had accepted blame and asked for mercy. A real apology, without blame shifting, could have changed the course of history of this world we live". He emphasized, "It still can!”
He confided, "Sometimes a deeply or sincerely felt 'I'm sorry' fixes everything right away.... Other times...., it might take a while for someone to feel friendly after you apologize", he exhaled and continued, "You might need to give the other person some time. Even after you say you're sorry, you might still feel bad about what you said or did..... But you can feel good about apologizing and about making up your mind to do better. But it is up the person to accept your apology or not!” he dragged his hands through his hair, "the ball is always in the court of that person you hurt".
He continued distressingly, "But you know... I'm very unskilled to tell you, how to apologize".
It was 1.45 am. The bus of Karl came at the stop. "Here my bus comes, now we should leave", said Karl.
"Hmm, o yah" said the lady as she didn't want to leave. But both of them left for their homes.

** The End **




"this is like a theory of apologize, very thoughtful!" -- Jenny, china.
"The story is good but the writer should be extended it." -- Thomas, Argentina.
"Well done on “Sorry”. I would love to know about Tack’s expression on this valuable talk !!" -- Fakiha, Islamabad, Pakistan.
"The word SORRY has essential value to restore breaking relationship but nowadays it has become fashion to make apology after committing mistakes. As you said "to make themselves satisfied” is easy but it is also important to know that whether someone is forgiven, trust can not be restore after being broken. If you have given wound to some one it can not be healed by saying sorry, one has to compensate for it too. World is making mistakes just to make sorry not to get well. Mr. Rafique Danish has nicely written about the topic. He must continue writing stories I like to read his work. " -- SAIMA ILAHI, Hyderabad, Sindh, Pakistan.


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© 2007 M Rafique Danish
October 2007

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