It’s Sunday morning and the sun was shining through an opening in the heavy embroidered curtains. It was only 5am and Jane would normally be up and out to muck out and ride the horses but 6 months ago Jane sold her horses and decided to join the rat race by going back to work full time. She did hesitate on making this decision but she needed to make some life changes and this was the first.
It was time to decide which way my life is going and the next step was to keep fit. I joined the local gym and was surprised how many people of all ages and occupations did the same.
On Monday evening after work I went straight to the gym, I took my kit to work so it would save me time. I changed and headed for the treadmill. The gym was full and there was only one treadmill available. I started to walk to warm up and looking at myself in the mirror, I noticed that the treadmill next to me was occupied by a handsome man. To my astonishment he started talking to me. Asking how long I had been a member and what I was striving to achieve.
His name was Adam and as time went by, we arranged to meet every Monday, Wednesday and Friday after work. I felt absolutely great that someone was paying attention to me. I never told Adam that I was married and had two grown up lads. I knew he was married but his life was in turmoil, hence the reason he attended the gym. I think this is why we hit it off so well. We had so much in common.
As time went by and our sessions at the gym lasted longer and longer, we had drinks in the bar afterwards and each of us tried to extend our time together.
One Wednesday evening as we were saying out goodbyes he kissed me very passionately, I reciprocated and felt such warm loving feelings. This was the start of a lie to myself, thinking I could be happy in this relationship as well as lead a married life.
Adam and I made excuses to our partners, (not that Adam realised that I was married) we met in out of town places, had dinner and we both decided to take it one step further.
I made arrangements to be away for the weekend and told my husband that it was work related. Adam told his wife the same and we spent a romantic weekend, we dined, danced and made such passionate love.
We were both totally committed to one another. Adam wanted to make it permanent by leaving his wife and asked me to share my life with him. Although I was unhappy in my own relationship, I had lied to Adam and could not bring myself to tell him.
We spent several weekends away in different parts of the country, enjoying walking, swimming, and we made quite a few friends along the way but Adam was becoming impatient as I was hesitant in making my decision to be with him. His life at home was becoming unbearable and the pressure on me was getting too much. I wanted some life changes, but this was just too much of a commitment for me.
The next time Adam approached the subject of being together, rather than tell the truth I became distant from him and told him that I was feeling less committed than he was. As time went by I was going to the gym less and less so as not to be confronted by Adam.
One Friday morning I picked up the local newspaper and read that a man had been found hanging in the woods close to the gym , his name was Adam Johnson, he left a note which read: I am not happy in my life at home and the woman that I had truly fallen in love with no longer loves me, I cannot go on with this feeling in my heart if I cannot spend the rest of my life with her, this is my way out. Please forgive me , I am not strong enough to carry on with my life like this.
My life remains the same, except for a sadness in my heart – no life changes - I broke someone’s heart, destroyed a family, and for what - just a few months out of my unhappy mundane life to experience true love and happiness.
The end
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