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Alone At Dawn

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Alone At Dawn
The tale of a man searching to resolve the pain of loosing the woman he loved.
[957 words]
Sime Sheef
I'm a published teenage writer that has been writing short stories since the fall of 2005. I also write poetry and flash fiction. Usually, I tend to write fiction, more specifically fantasy, but have tried my hand at other genres. I am an honors student and plan on being a writer, missionary, and linguist. I am an actor, fencer, artist, and guitar player.
[September 2006]
Confortable Darkness (Short Stories) The world is dark and light is not welcome. It only pains the eyes. [996 words] [Fantasy]
To The Fullest (Short Stories) Peter has figured out how to drain the potential from every moment in life...but what will it cost him? [978 words] [Suspense]
Without Reason (Short Stories) Anger breeds hate and hate breeds evil. Unfortunately this perfect world breeds all three. [983 words] [Fantasy]
Alone At Dawn
Sime Sheef

Dawn had come and gone, the golden sun's heat caressing the blue sea at its horizon. The early riser revealed with it's light a shadow; the shadow of an empty city. The city had been brought up from the sands of time for solely one purpose and that purpose was even hidden from it's creator.

Far before dawn came, where time existed only as a stopping point, a man walked the streets of the golden city all alone. The road was misty and vision was not at its best. He wore chains around his feet and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get them off. They slowed down his travel greatly and each time he took a step they sounded through the vast and empty streets.

He came to a corner and stopped. Finding the street signs he tried to read them but couldn't seem to. He leaned up against a lamp post and tried to regain his breath. Seconds later, he jerked his hand back when it started to shimmer and deform. Where he had put his hand the post had begun to melt and fold over.

He walked on, leaving the strange incident behind. His clothing was worn and torn in the knees, a sign that he had traveled a great distance. The face he wore was that of a lost dog looking for something special and sacred to him.

Over to his right, something flashed by. He turned. "Hello!" he screamed. “Come back! I need help!" he trailed off, "I'm...looking for someone." Thinking that he had just been imagining it, he walked the other way.

Where the flash seemed to disappear, a light began to grow. "Hello?" someone asked "Did someone say something?"

The man threw himself towards the new voice. The light grew brighter and a golden figure came into view, still blurry with the mist that seemed to alter everything's form. A woman dressed in gold suddenly broke through the mist, scaring the man. "Don't be frightened," she said, "I won't harm you." putting her hands out and shaking them in a correcting way, "What is your name?"

She didn't recognize him but he recognized her immediately. It was the person he had been searching for. It was his wife. "Manda it's me!" he cried out. "I've been searching for you!"

The woman’s face went through many emotions until it settled into utter joy. "Mac! Oh Mac!" She ran to him and jumped into his embrace. There they stood holding each other, neither saying a word. An awkward sight it was; a worn clothed man in chains holding a beautiful woman in gold. Emotion flowed out of both of them, both crying and saying how much they loved the other.

It seemed that they stood there forever. Time in the city wasn't that of reality but everything has to end eventually. A drop of water hit the ground next to the couple. In the silence it made the sound of a cresting wave. They both turned and looked at the wet spot. Suddenly light flooded over the near city wall and the sound of harsh waters came from behind it. "Oh, no!" the woman screamed. "Come with me."

She pulled him by the hand and they ran the opposite direction, away from the wall. The man looked back, tripping over his chains. The place where they had just stood moments before was flooded with water, splashing in through a crack in the wall. The wall toppled in and sunlight flooded through the opening. "This way!" she yelled. They turned right and into an alleyway.

They came to the end of it where it met another street. They turned left again, finding water flooding in and splashing behind them. The man tripped over his chains again, but this time he landed flat on his face and hands, scraping them open. He scrambled to his feet, only to find himself alone. Except for the sound of deadly waves and the light of the dawning sun, he was completely and utterly alone. He had been alone the whole time but only now did he allow himself to realize it. Crying tears of total sadness, he turned around, waiting for the collision with the oncoming water. A river of warm salt water ran down his cheeks and a flooding torrent of cold salt water hit him like a rock.

The man woke up lying on a beach. He looked like a shadow in the sand, which shimmered in the light of the dawning sun. He had been dreaming of holding his wife one last time, the strongest desire of his heart, but even in his dream, it was all made false. She would never really be with him again.

He had been awoken by water hitting his face. The tide had come to meet him during the night and it was starting to wash away his sand city. He had been there since the night before building it, a past time he and his wife had started. All at once, the city collapsed in on itself, with it's sand towers and sand light posts. All that was left was a pile of sand and the water that had destroyed it, flowing in and out, spreading the pile out. He got off the ground with tears streaming down his face. This was the second time that she had left him. "Why did you have to leave me?" he cried. Dusting off the sand from his clothes, he walked down the golden beach. For a minute he thought he saw a figure in gold running to meet him but it was only the sun playing games with him. No, he was alone; completely and utterly alone.



"The story is quite well written. It doesn't have a good storyline development though as it's quite clear that is was a dream all along and doesn't leave you wanting more. The prose is a bit heavy in the opening paragraph. Also, instead of using 'He' all time, the main character should be given an identity early on so the reader can relate to the story - or at the very least his name should be used after his wife calls it. Please see these as constructive and not me just being critical as the piece was well written" -- Kasey.


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© 2006 Sime Sheef
September 2006

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