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This could be you.
Pratik Patel is pursuing a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science in Melbourne, Florida. He's taking so long that it's almost as if the degree is pursuing him now!
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
- ... say something stupid.
- As stupid as?
- I donít know ... As stupid as anything ... or anybody ... whatever .. I donít care.
- As stupid as you?
- Hey! Iím not stupid. I might be dumb. But stupid? Stupidís not me. Iím not stupid.
- You see, therein lies your stupidity. You canít distinguish the difference that doesnít exist between the words Ďstupidí and Ďdumb.í Youíre not just stupid. Youíre dumb!
- Oh ... like youíre the one to say huh?
- Between us both? Yes! ... Iím the one to say ...
- Say what?
- That youíre stupid.
- And dumb ?
- Yes. And dumb too!
- Hmmm ..... So, of all the stupid things in the world that you can come up with, you come up with ďIím stupid.Ē
- Iím not stupid. Youíre stupid.
- Thatís what I meant! You get the gist.
- Hmm .... Gist ..... Gist .... ĎGistí isnít your kind of word. It isnít ...
- It isnít ...
- It isnít the kind of word stupid people would use?
- Exactly! You know ... you might not be as stupid as I think you are.
- Really? Thank you.
- But youíre still as dumb as I think you are.
- So Iím not stupid anymore. But Iím dumb.
- Not really. Like I said before : youíre not just stupid. Youíre dumb.
- I thought you just said that I wasnít stupid anymore.
- So Iím not stupid. Iím dumb!
- Exactly. Go on.
- You know, I donít see why you seem to go on about me being dumb. Iíve known more dumb people than me.
- Thatís what dumb people do. They know other dumb people.
- I know you!
- But Iím not dumb.
- Are you stupid then?
- Nope. Not that too.
- I think you are.
- Prove it.
- You want a dumb man to prove your stupidity?
- You want a dumb man to prove your stupidity!
- How can a dumb man prove your stupidity?
- Exactly! Thatís the point!
- Whatís the point?
- Youíre dumb!
- Not stupid!
- Not stupid.
- Just dumb!
- Just dumb.
- You know, they ought to have those quotients for stupid people like us.
- Me. Whatever ...
- Quotients? What quotients?
- You know .... those intelligence quotient type things.
- You mean like IQ?
- Exactly! It could be called .. uh ...
- Donít say SQ!
- Not SQ! SD Ė Stupidity DISquotient!
- Disquotient? I donít even think thatís a real word.
- Oh yeah? Then whatís the opposite of quotient?
- Misquotient? ... Nope ... Doesnít feel right ...
- Come on! Youíre the smart one here! You ought to know!
- Nonquotient! That feels more correct.
- Iím not sure about Ďnonquotient.í Disquotient sounds better! It sounds more ...
- Sophisticated? Yeah right! ... Why would you even want to devise the SD in the first place though? The IQ is already a measure for stupidity.
- No, itís not!
- Yes it is!
- Itís a measure for intelligence. Iím talking stupidity here. In case you donít already know, thereís a difference!
- Oh definitely! Thereís a difference.
- Exactly. So we should have a quotient for stupidity.
- But how will it be scored? I mean should a low score mean a higher level of stupidity or a lower level of stupidity?
- You see ... my thinking is that --
- Your thinking?
- That's what I said - my thinking!
- Okay! Your thinking! ... I'm sorry! Go on.
- My thinking is that since intelligence is totally different from stupidity, the scoring should also be totally different. In fact, it should be the exact opposite.
- So youíre saying that a low score means a high stupidity level.
- It only makes more sense.
- It makes more stupid sense! That's the only sense it makes!
- Well ... it makes something! And besides, even stupid sense is still a sense. You can't underestimate sense!
- The way I look at it is that stupid people are associated with low figures. They always have the lowest grades in school. They have a low IQ! Basically theyíre a very lowly people! The SD must acknowledge that fact and award points accordingly.
- Interesting ...
- Itís not interesting. Itís stupid! Thatís what it is.
- You know what they say right? Stupid is what stupid does.
- Iím stupid!
- ... and thatís what you do!
- You know ... I now understand how all those people mustíve felt!
- So now youíre THOSE people!
- Iím those people!
- What people are you talking about anyways?
- All those people that come up with new ideas and inventions.
- So the SD is a new idea now?
- Of course!
- Itís a stupid thing! Itís barely new and itís not even an idea!
- If itís not new, how come Iíve never heard of it?
- Because youíre stupid!
- Hey! I might be stupid, but Iím not deaf!
- Anyhow, Iím not sure you can call SD an idea. How will the scoring be done?
- You see ... Stupidity canít be represented by a low number. Itís a feeling!
- Feeling? Really? What kind of a feeling?
- Itís hard to explain ...
- Well ... Give me some examples about how it feels .... I mean youíre stupid. And youíre good at it. You must have something to say about feeling stupid .... I donít know ... say something stupid.
- As stupid as?
- I donít know ... As stupid as anything ... or anybody ... whatever .. I donít care.
- As stupid as you?
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"ok, it was kinda funny at first, but u milked the idea for way too long. piece of advice, if your gonna write "stupid shit" like this keep it short! and this is from a guy with a high intelligence disquotient." -- sunny, dc, usa.
"Hey, liked your story it was ok but i think it was better than my stories(especially since I'm only 14)Keep up the great work but next time keep it short also. " -- Maritza, Las Vegas.
"Dude, that was some serious brain damage. Posting that link in public is mass destuction. " -- kumaarsauraj, NJ, USA.
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© 2005 Pratik Patel
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