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TITLE (EDIT)
Stupidallicallidumbocious |
DESCRIPTION
This could be you.
[889 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Comedy |
AUTHOR
Pratik Patel |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Pratik Patel is pursuing a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science in Melbourne, Florida. He's taking so long that it's almost as if the degree is pursuing him now!
[June 2005] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
mailpratik@gmail.com |
Stupidallicallidumbocious
Pratik Patel
- ... say something stupid.
- As stupid as?
- I don’t know ... As stupid as anything ... or anybody ... whatever .. I don’t care.
- As stupid as you?
- Hey! I’m not stupid. I might be dumb. But stupid? Stupid’s not me. I’m not stupid.
- You see, therein lies your stupidity. You can’t distinguish the difference that doesn’t exist between the words ‘stupid’ and ‘dumb.’ You’re not just stupid. You’re dumb!
- Oh ... like you’re the one to say huh?
- Between us both? Yes! ... I’m the one to say ...
- Say what?
- That you’re stupid.
- And dumb ?
- Yes. And dumb too!
- Hmmm ..... So, of all the stupid things in the world that you can come up with, you come up with “I’m stupid.”
- I’m not stupid. You’re stupid.
- That’s what I meant! You get the gist.
- Hmm .... Gist ..... Gist .... ‘Gist’ isn’t your kind of word. It isn’t ...
- What?
- It isn’t ...
- It isn’t the kind of word stupid people would use?
- Exactly! You know ... you might not be as stupid as I think you are.
- Really? Thank you.
- But you’re still as dumb as I think you are.
- So I’m not stupid anymore. But I’m dumb.
- Not really. Like I said before : you’re not just stupid. You’re dumb.
- I thought you just said that I wasn’t stupid anymore.
- Right.
- So I’m not stupid. I’m dumb!
- Exactly. Go on.
- You know, I don’t see why you seem to go on about me being dumb. I’ve known more dumb people than me.
- That’s what dumb people do. They know other dumb people.
- I know you!
- But I’m not dumb.
- Are you stupid then?
- Nope. Not that too.
- I think you are.
- Prove it.
- You want a dumb man to prove your stupidity?
- Right.
- You want a dumb man to prove your stupidity!
- So?
- How can a dumb man prove your stupidity?
- Exactly! That’s the point!
- What’s the point?
- You’re dumb!
- Not stupid!
- Not stupid.
- Just dumb!
- Just dumb.
- You know, they ought to have those quotients for stupid people like us.
- Us?
- Me. Whatever ...
- Quotients? What quotients?
- You know .... those intelligence quotient type things.
- You mean like IQ?
- Exactly! It could be called .. uh ...
- Don’t say SQ!
- Not SQ! SD – Stupidity DISquotient!
- Disquotient? I don’t even think that’s a real word.
- Oh yeah? Then what’s the opposite of quotient?
- Misquotient? ... Nope ... Doesn’t feel right ...
- Come on! You’re the smart one here! You ought to know!
- Nonquotient! That feels more correct.
- I’m not sure about ‘nonquotient.’ Disquotient sounds better! It sounds more ...
- Respectable?
- Sophisticated!
- Sophisticated? Yeah right! ... Why would you even want to devise the SD in the first place though? The IQ is already a measure for stupidity.
- No, it’s not!
- Yes it is!
- It’s a measure for intelligence. I’m talking stupidity here. In case you don’t already know, there’s a difference!
- Oh definitely! There’s a difference.
- Exactly. So we should have a quotient for stupidity.
- But how will it be scored? I mean should a low score mean a higher level of stupidity or a lower level of stupidity?
- You see ... my thinking is that --
- Your thinking?
- That's what I said - my thinking!
- Okay! Your thinking! ... I'm sorry! Go on.
- My thinking is that since intelligence is totally different from stupidity, the scoring should also be totally different. In fact, it should be the exact opposite.
- So you’re saying that a low score means a high stupidity level.
- It only makes more sense.
- It makes more stupid sense! That's the only sense it makes!
- Well ... it makes something! And besides, even stupid sense is still a sense. You can't underestimate sense!
- True.
- The way I look at it is that stupid people are associated with low figures. They always have the lowest grades in school. They have a low IQ! Basically they’re a very lowly people! The SD must acknowledge that fact and award points accordingly.
- Interesting ...
- It’s not interesting. It’s stupid! That’s what it is.
- You know what they say right? Stupid is what stupid does.
- I’m stupid!
- ... and that’s what you do!
- You know ... I now understand how all those people must’ve felt!
- So now you’re THOSE people!
- I’m those people!
- What people are you talking about anyways?
- All those people that come up with new ideas and inventions.
- So the SD is a new idea now?
- Of course!
- It’s a stupid thing! It’s barely new and it’s not even an idea!
- If it’s not new, how come I’ve never heard of it?
- Because you’re stupid!
- Hey! I might be stupid, but I’m not deaf!
- Anyhow, I’m not sure you can call SD an idea. How will the scoring be done?
- You see ... Stupidity can’t be represented by a low number. It’s a feeling!
- Feeling? Really? What kind of a feeling?
- It’s hard to explain ...
- Well ... Give me some examples about how it feels .... I mean you’re stupid. And you’re good at it. You must have something to say about feeling stupid .... I don’t know ... say something stupid.
- As stupid as?
- I don’t know ... As stupid as anything ... or anybody ... whatever .. I don’t care.
- As stupid as you?
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READER'S REVIEWS (3)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"ok, it was kinda funny at first, but u milked the idea for way too long. piece of advice, if your gonna write "stupid shit" like this keep it short! and this is from a guy with a high intelligence disquotient." -- sunny, dc, usa.
"Hey, liked your story it was ok but i think it was better than my stories(especially since I'm only 14)Keep up the great work but next time keep it short also. " -- Maritza, Las Vegas.
"Dude, that was some serious brain damage. Posting that link in public is mass destuction. " -- kumaarsauraj, NJ, USA.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2005 Pratik Patel |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
June 2005 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2552
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