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TITLE (EDIT)
At Death's Door |
DESCRIPTION
-
[441 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Drama |
AUTHOR
Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Well, I'm a 12 yr old but I really love writing. Pls comment my writing as I'm learning.
[May 2004] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (4)
Face-Off (Short Stories) A Counter-terrorist unit agent on the chase after a terrorist...except that he gets the shock of his life. [2,002 words] [Suspense]
Strangers In The Mist (Short Stories) A thrilling piece. Hope somebody could review it. [1,667 words] [Thriller]
The Escape (Short Stories) A short tale of a prisoner's escape from jail. [964 words] [Drama]
The Present (Children) A girl adventure in buying her mom present. [678 words]
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At Death's Door
Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar
Mark Wilmore decided to offer her an encouraging word, but thought
better of it. Instead, he let her sob out all her frustrations and
disappointments. It was the first time his friend had ever failed
an examination.
"Cordelia," he said softly, voice tinged with commiseration.
"You did your best."
Cordelia Summers gave a gallows laugh. So what if she did her best?
Her parents would still cane her.
"Life's meaningless now, Mark," Cordelia replied contritely as she
started to edge away from him.
"Don't bother about me."
Mark did not lift his azure eyes from her until the brunette was
out of sight. His heart bleeding for her, he turned around and made
his way home.
At a deserted street, Cordelia's shoulders shook with the power
of sobs that tore through her. She could not face her parents later.
"You look distressed," a dulcet voice interjected.
"Try these. It will relieve you of your troubles."
Cordelia turned around to see her schoolmate, Drusilla, holding out
a packet of rose-coloured pills. Driven by her fiasco, she reached
out for it, but Drusilla pulled it back. She extended her perfectly
manicured hand. Cordelia instantaneously knew what she meant. She
slapped a ten-dollar bill onto Drusilla's palm and slipped the packet
of pills into her bag.
The minute she reached home, she locked herself in her room and
fished the packet out from her bag. Her parents were not at home;
she had a chance to try it now. She opened the packet and clenched
her fist around a pill. Then she popped it in her mouth.
Dizziness overcame her, but the taste of the pill, and the way the
pill made her feel... it was tranquility and sure death. It was
a cure for desolation.
Days passed by. Cordelia had been unwitting about Mark's concern for
her. She hung out with Drusilla and her crowd. Her lack of interest
in school was blatant.
Mark could not stand it any longer. Cordelia had gone overboard.
It was time to bring her back to her senses before it was too late.
On that chilly evening, Mark pressed the doorbell of the Summers'
residence. There was no answer. Perplexed by the whole deal, he
tried the door. It was unlocked. Without hesitation, he stepped into
the household.
"Cordelia?" he called out.
He entered the living room and almost tripped over an unconscious
Cordelia. Panic enveloped his soul. Frantically, he knelt down and
checked her pulse. She was alive! Mark heaved a sigh of relief. Just
then, his gaze ticked past her. A packet lay on the floor, tiny pills
spilling out from it.
"Cordelia," Mark whispered in disbelief. Then he called for the
ambulance.
Tears threatened at the corner of his eyes as he watched the doctor
did a check-up on Cordelia. Slowly, he covered her ravishing face.
"No," he whispered through tears. "No. Cordelia."
He let the tears flow. It was useless. Cordelia was no more.
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READER'S REVIEWS (8)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"I would like for you to know that I was very impressed with your story. Although it was sad because of the outcome, I can't help to wonder if Cordelia was even aware as to how much she was loved by Mark. You made the reader to see and to feel Cordelia's pain and to see and feel Mark's love. Just wonderful. Keep it up." -- Patricia M, USA.
"o no!she didn't...don't say it.better be euphemistic.great job,kid!" -- kennedy, delta state, nigeria.
"Sad to say, yeah, she died, kennedy. Thanks for taking time to review my writing, Patricia and kennedy x))" -- Syafiqah.
"It is very nice. very nice phrases used." -- Kasthuri senbagam, Singapore.
"Superb poses. What a young budding writer Continue writing and kudos again... Those reading these comments, remember to read this superb story..." -- Nurun, Singapore.
"I was impressed. It was perfect." -- cherie, Singapore.
"Great job! you have an excellent vocabulary! This story was extremely detailed and anyone can see that you clearly have talent." -- Kiara Avalon.
"This was great how do such knowledge for a twelve year. I have to say its sad." -- Jeanette .
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2005 Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
January 2005 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2303
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