DESCRIPTION
This story takes place in a military setting, mainly Point Barrow, Alaska. Russian officers and members of the U.S. Army interact. Although potential danger is hinted at, there is more humor than danger in the end. The story is structured so that the reason for the title isn't revealed until the very end. [1,414 words]
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Like Ocean's Eleven Higgins
The U.S. Army troop ships and accompanying vessels moved slowly
through Puget Sound and then headed out to sea. Their destination was to
be Point Barrow, Alaska. It was there that Will Rogers---actor, humorist,
political journalist, and cowboy--- and his friend, the co-author of Around
the World in Eight Days, Wiley Post---were killed in a plane crash.
The soldiers had received preparatory training back in the states, had
ridden the troop train from the training station to Fort Lewis, Washington,
had spent two weeks receiving final instructions and checking gear and
personal supplies, and then, on a rainy morning in late August, had
departed for Alaska.
Twelve days after departure the convoy sighted the bleak shores of
POW A, a landing and unloading area designated as the first stop.
Although it was late summer, the location was in the vicinity of the
northern-most point of Alaska and so cold temperatures hampered
the initial unloading activities. The large cargo ships were unable to land,
due to the interference of drifting ice blocks , so smaller ships were
obliged to make trips back and forth from the cargo ships to the POW.
Further threat of ice formations near shore made it necessary
for the troop ships to evacuate the area immediately, but three
privates and a corporal were left behind to guard the equipment
which had already been unloaded. The corporal had been chosen
2
because he was the only low level non-commissioned officer
available, and the privates were chosen by the corporal. These
four men were to live with three military construction
workers and two army cooks in quonset huts. So the food should
be good---no shit on a shingle. The main activities for these men
were, eating, sleeping, guarding the POW equipment, mastur-
bating, and playing poker---five card stud. Silver dollars were the
main monetary units in the card games.
The corporal had a fantastic streak of luck in poker, even
filling inside straights, and he planned to bring a large bag of
silver dollars back to the states. Some of the other
players suspected that he might be cheating, but they couldn’t
prove it.
The corporal and his three friends daily enacted a “religious
ceremony.” They would walk to the sea’s edge, gaze reverently
at the ice blocks, and pray for the ice to stay. Most
of them had just over a year to serve in the military, and this was
a pleasant way to pass the days.
A piper cub would fly in supplies twice a week, so these nine
men were not entirely cut off from civilization. Unfortunately, the
prices of some desirable items were as follows: beer was $15.00
per six pack; a quart of good bourbon
3
was $40.00; cigarettes were $30.00 a carton. Because of this, the
soldiers spent some time discussing the price of living per diem
for the days spent at POW A.
Late one night a small plane landed on the crude air strip at
POW A and it was not the piper cub. The radar watches on the
ships did not discern any abberations. Could it represent the
ghosts of Will Rogers and Wiley Post? The strange aircraft was
manned by two Russian Air Force Officers. The U.S. Soldiers
were so lax in their guard duties that they were not awakened
until the officers representing the Soviet Union knocked loudly
and repeatedly on the door of their quonset hut. One of the privates
finally opened the door and bade the Russian Officers enter.
Upon hearing the unusual accent and observing the unfamiliar
gestures, he awakened the other three soldiers. The six men sat
at the card table.
The Russian Officers at once explained their mission. They
were to try to gain information related to the radar defense which
was about to be installed by the United States near Point Barrow
to guard against Russian attack of America via Alaska. They
had come prepared to pay a great monetary sum to whomever
they were able to bribe. If the guards were to report them to the
ships, a signal could be sent back to the Russian post across the
4
Bering Straits and immediate action would be taken which
might initiate World War III, so a quiet discussion was the
only possibility. After the Russian men had completed their
presentation of the situation, the Americans were reticent
to immediately give a committing reply. The six
men finally came to the following agreement. The
Russian Officers were to supply vodka twice a week for poker
games, the participants being the four American enlisted men
and the two Russian Officers, and the matter was to be further
discussed at the card games. The Russians brought up the
possibility of their being detected, but the Americans
informed the Russians of the fact that the men
governing the radar equipment could easily be bribed with
the promise of a future supply of authentic Russian Vodka.
On Monday and Thursday nights the Russian JS-N
landed at POW A and the men representing the two major
powers of the world imbibed the liquor and engaged in games
of poker. This went on for three weeks. The enlisted men
representing America and the officers representing Russia
grew friendly. Since the corporal was in charge of U.S.
forces at POW A, he felt that it was his duty and responsibility
to make the ultimate
5
decision. He would often gather the three privates around
the card table in serious conference in much the way a
president might gather together selected cabinet members
in the White House. In both cases it was for the purpose of
finding the solution to an important problem. They all
agreed that they did not wish to betray their native land,
but they would also be reticent to double-cross their
Russian colleagues.
Since the ice blocks were merging and the top brass
back in the Kremlin were beginning to put pressure on
their “spies,” both parties were forced to make an immediate
decision. The two men representing the country possessing
the largest land mass in the world had become very attached
to their friends from America.
One night late in September the six compatriots , along
with the three construction workers and the two cooks, all
a bit under the influence of vodka and comradship,
decided upon a round-table discussion which would determine
the outcome of world peace.
Just prior to dusk a plane resembling a JS-N left POW A
destined for an island 100
miles due south of Ahe, in the Marquesas. Soon after the trip
6
was completed arrangements were made to meet with
prominent natives.
A RUSSIAN OUTPOST JUST ACROSS THE BERING
STRAITS
First Russian Captain – “I never will understand what
became of our espionage men assigned to the Point Barrow
Project; both loyal to the cause; both conscientious; not
a word from them in nine months. Also, 75 cases of the
best Russian Vodka were stolen.”
Second Russian Captain- “Ah, we fail to acknowledge
the cleverness of these Americans. Our men have been
absorbed. The entire project was a rather silly gamble.
We also note that dozens of cases of Russian Black Beer
have vanished.”
A SIMILAR SCENE AT POW C
First Lieutenant- “It certainly was mysterious the way
those men disappeared from POW A; nine military men
and they left no trace. Seems they took their belongings
with them.; probably captured by the Russians; 50
quarts of bourbon were gone.”
Sergeant- “I’ll wager they are A.W.O.L. They were
responsible for that equipment.
7
Of course, none of it was missing. The corporal and
the three privates were n’er do wells. I can’t speak for or
against the army construction workers and the military
cooks. But if they got themselves mixed up with
the corporal and his friends they are in trouble. I just
discovered that my secret supply of Heinekins has been
absconded.”
A SMALL ISLAND IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC
First Native- “It’s hard to understand; eleven foreigners
running a rubber plantation; and making a tremendous
success of it.”
Second Native- “Heard they grossed over a million
dollars the first two years here. They certainly are well
organized.”
Third Native- “Almost like a highly polished football
team---like Sinatra’s Ocean’s Eleven”; wonder how they
got together? Funny, two of them having that heavy
accent and wearing them strange uniforms; the other
nine wearing the uniform of the American soldier.
Their heavy drinking, however, is likely to undo their
monetary success.”
The End
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