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Being An Atheist Is Hard
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Being An Atheist Is Hard
A guy spills the beans to his mom that he doesn't believe in good ol God.
I'm a lonely soul... in need of comfort...
Being An Atheist Is Hard
"How can you say that to me? How can you sit there and fucking say that to me?" I sat in the kitchen with my head down and took the full force of my mother's anger. There was no sense in trying to fight with her about it. Best to just lay low until it was my turn. My mother paced the kitchen with her arms folded on her chest, her gaze like all the fire and brimstone in hell, and it was all focused at me.
"Well?" she bellowed. I sighed and looked up at her. What I saw in her face was a mixture of anger and sadness.
"I don't see what the big deal is," I said meekly. This only fanned the flames, as I knew it would, and sent my mother off on another rant.
"Don't see what the big deal is? God has given everything to you, and you have the gall to just, to just turn your back on him!" She jerked another chair away from the table and sat herself in it. That brimstone gaze never leaving my face. I'd just told my mother that I was an atheist. It was her constant nagging and God lectures that caused me to do it. I didn't want that information to slip, especially to the devout Christian church goer that was my mom. She was giving me another lecture about my grades as she did the dishes and was going on about how I looked in the eyes of God. How I would never amount to anything and live my life as a bum that worshipped Satan. I, tired of being judged by a force that I felt didn't exist, told her that I didn't even believe in her wonderful God. Like a firecracker in a bullfrog's ass was how my mother exploded at me.
"I can't believe you, Daniel. You only said that because I pissed you off," she said, trying to force herself to believe what was hearing was a lie. "You always say things to try to hurt my feelings."
"It's the truth, mom," I said.
"Then wait until your father hears about this," she said smugly, as if that would change my opinion. Okay, okay, I could imagine myself saying, There is a God. Happy?
"He already knows, Mom." Her eyes widened and she tried to move her anger toward my father.
"This is his fault. He's trying to get back at me," she snapped.
"Not everyone is against, Mom," I said as calmly as I could, which was difficult. "Sure, you piss people off, but it's not a damn conspiracy against you." I made a point to never curse in front of her, not because God believed seventeen year old boys shouldn't curse but because I felt uncomfortable doing it, but I couldn't help it this time. My mother didn't much care about cursing anyway, as she did it all the time. "God'll just have to forgive me," she was fond of saying.
"He didn't put me up to not believing in God, Mom," I continued. "Its just what I believe. Besides, the divorce was his idea anyway, remember?" Mom uttered an angry grunt and stormed out of the kitchen. She hated to lose an argument, which was exactly what she was doing.
As I put the rest of the dishes back into the cabinits I realized that things were going to be a lot harder on me around the house. She'll just have to get over it, I thought.When I was done I went into my room and sat in the chair next to the window and began to read a book that was not the Bible.
|READER'S REVIEWS (3)
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"its very good work..this is i'm guessing a persoanal opinion, which i understand, because i've been in those moods before u know..i'm 23 and i go through those thoughts all the time...its a shame that parents aren't understanding of anything like this...they tend to be one sided, probably because at this point in their lives they aren't questioning things like this...ur age does this to u, which isnt' a bad thing...i think really that people need to question things like this...life is short really, of course to me i wish something radical could happen in our lives and then we could make some real differences out there...but the truth is people just wanna have something to believe in just for the sake of hope out there...thats probably the meaning of life really... to have a hope in ur existance, because sooner or later we will have to get a job, and make money, thats what it comes down to...its a society thing too because we live in a time where we have the time to question our lives a lot more now...we got nothing better to do:)but u wrote some good stuff right there.....read my poem that i wrote, its on the bottom of the new titles thing"what i see"..its my opinion of life and what comes of it...good luck buddy:)" -- alex kalogeresis, ny.
"Actaully, I'm not an atheist, but I know a lot of people that are. A friend of mine was the inspiration for this story." -- Aaron Horn.
"Well done but I would point out one illogical aspect of atheism...to know without a shadow of a doubt that there's no God...one would have to know everything in the universe and thus that person would be God! It is more logical to be an agnostic...one who doubts the existence of a god! I just thought I would point that out!" -- e. rocco caldwell.
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© 2004 Aaron Horn
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