I can�t sleep, and thank you for asking my good friend, I will tell you why. It had gone on for months, and by the time I had learned the reason why, I was reaching exhaustion. My normally even temper had become so volatile that I was afraid of my own shadow, in case it was as vile as I was. Thankfully, I am in control of that now and I am no longer afraid. I had tried drinking myself to sleep and that didn�t work, sleeping tablets were a complete waste of time and money, and while that stupid book I bought, �Insomnia� by Rudyard Kipping may have made me laugh, it achieved nothing more.
I was at the end of my tether. My wife was annoyingly overjoyed that I had given up snoring and even the cat looked visibly more refreshed of a morning. I hate cats. Smelly, furry, selfish little creatures that kill for fun and then eat reformed jellied crap out of tins labelled �Cutiekitty� and the like. Then they scuttle outside and crap in your flower borders and pee over your Oregano, but you don�t realise this until you pick a few leaves one evening and drop them onto the barbecue coals for extra flavour! Sly-eyed bastards the lot of them. That Lloyd-Webber guy has got a lot to answer for if you ask me. Almost as much as that twee little Manilow person and his bloody �Bermuda Triangle.�
�You digress!� I hear you say. But not so. Triangles are very interesting. Every triangle has three sides and three is an interesting number. There�s the Blessed Trinity, the three Witches in �Macbeth� and even �Old King Cole� had three fiddlers. Magic! In fact, I have recently had a threesome myself, and yes, (thank you for asking) it was very satisfying for me; despite the smoothie maker being cold and indifferent, and the cat being uncooperative whilst still conscious. But hell! You can�t have it all, can you?
Though my wife thinks you can. She wants it all; her career, soppy love story films and the postman. Another triangle, and another threesome for little me. That time, I featured alongside the postman, who incidentally took the starring role, and a hacksaw. I�m teasing you now; it would have been the hacksaw but I couldn�t find it, so I made do with a butter knife. Did he scream? Only until I forced his amputated member down his throat and watched him choke on it.
She missed him, though she didn�t say so. I just know these things now. I was tossing and turning in bed last night trying to sleep, though the devil knows I was wasting my time, and she was sat there reading this pointlessly inane book called the �Greatest Ever Love Stories.� I was so afraid that I would vomit all over her and the book, that I got up and went downstairs to watch some television. Big Bird and Grover were counting in Spanish, which amused me for a while. But then I happened upon a spy film about these �secret agent sleepers� that lie dormant in a foreign country until they are activated by the powers that control them, so that they can realise their destiny of retribution. It was good and I empathised with them, because I am a kind of sleeper of sorts. The film helped me to understand.
As the final credits ran, I kind of knew where my destiny lay. Sadly, my wife didn�t feature in it, so she�s dying in the basement freezer now, chilling out with her book and the postman.
�There you go!� I said to her. �Another triangle.�
If retribution was sweet with the cat, it was ambrosia with the wife.
I�m not the only one though; I am not the only sleeper. There are many of us all around the world just waiting to be woken up, but we never know it until our time is right. That�s why I have insomnia because we Demons never sleep, wandering in the dark seeking innocent souls to steal. So now it�s time for me to construct my own triangle; my first eternal triangle.
Me, your worst nightmares and � YOU my good friend! Welcome to my eternity.
READER'S REVIEWS (3) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Good story and well written. I liked the triangle....angle! " -- e. rocco caldwell.
"I like the story, interesting concepts are discussed. Also it is a pretty well-written piece. Tying in the triangle adds something good to the story. I like the hacksaw part, and the mention of the mailman; it fascinates me." -- Emily Deja.
"I loved this story. It seems to me that you and I have the same sort of writing style or at least in this story, so I definitely enjoyed this story. Keep up the good work. Please if you have the chance take a look at some of my stuff and tell me what oyu think. Thank you." -- Moses M. Constable.
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