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The World At Four O’Clock
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TITLE (EDIT)
The World At Four O’Clock |
DESCRIPTION
A glimpse into the exciting world of early morning radio news announcing.
[903 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Byron Blake |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
BB - say it with a smile. The illustrious Byron Blake once again glimpses our pages with delight. His website is www.ByronBlake.com
[December 2003] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1)
How Is That I Tell You? (Short Stories) We all have messages of desperation that we wish to express at one time or another. If only there were a formula, a way to brige the communication gap that divides you and I keeping our collective eg... [928 words] [Mind]
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The World At Four O’Clock
Byron Blake
Good morning, it is 4:00 am GMT and this is the BBC headline news. Central Cottage Industries in Dover announced its first massive layoff in its one hundred year history as it struggles to recoup or survive. CEO Thompson Fulbright announced that those owning a house or possessing children were first to go. Second to be scuffed off are all personnel within one or two years of reaching retirement and expecting full benefits. “Don’t even bother going into work today if you are one of them” he said quote end quote. American intelligence sources again admitted they found more evidence revealing secret Bin Laden taped cell phone conversations describing details of the World Trade Center attack were recorded at least a year or seven months before 9-11. The National Security Agency claimed that did learn enough to make it suspicious and warrant a warning to the State Department weeks before the incident that a terrorist act was now immanent. Reports quote an insider source who claims the attitude at the top was to ‘order just let it happen.’
Today’s Morning Coffee News Break is sponsored by the British Petroleum Institute as part of our new corporate government fund program. Watch for our new BBC TV Guide newspaper insert due out on stands today. Lord Wampington said to news correspondent Jerold Tinge that dining at Windsor castle had indeed caused him such intestinal distress that he had to be taken to hospital. He was immediately released after having his stomach tucked and liposuction done. London weather is expected to be 30 Celsius by mid-morning and a beautiful light breeze is expected throughout the day. Fog lifting approximately right now. BING-BONG Big Ben is ringing early today commemorating 150 years of Yeomen Chocolates. Get a big box for special times and Christmas carolers.
Speaking of the holidays it was recently mentioned to me that tourists in Trafalgar Square are having it off with tourists by having an old fashioned bout in Piccadilly Circus. Oh, is this silly microphone still on? Still have me a hang-over from last night. I just come from the pub. The Neo-Surrealist painter Grub Reality was having a late talk and show.
What is that you are trying to tell me? We are on the air live are we now. Alright let go.
Good morning, it is 4:05am GMT and this is sports with Reginald Howard. Today grand soccer play-offs and the Murdoch debacle. Manchester United street riots again and Wilmington closed due to repairs. Finally it’s a sad life for cricket great Ike Nat Turret. Be sure to catch all the fantastic highlights tonight at 10 pm only on Sky Television 22.
This just in: British Prime Minister Tony Blair in response to conservative critics of his handling of Iraq declared he had done a much better job of handling the American President Bush than his counterparts would have and believes the cost of military deaths and causalities to be well worth staying the occupation course for at least another 2 years.
Next a cutesy story of a run-away dog and a street cat named Rick getting on famously in Liverpool. Parliamentary Deputies Raven and Wells will debate the problem of rubbish affecting our public parks live at 10:30. At 2 pm distinguished guests from Farm Maiden Country Club will toast the Queens Lumbar Stick anniversary. Don’t forget tonight as we honor the poetry of Keats in a performance of rapid rap reading by Lord Staunton.
Well known heroin addict Stinko Drummer from the 1970s punk rock group Rat Pack has died after ingesting a garlic mushroom sauce of he was rumored to have feasted on at the Windsor Castle Benefit where many of tonight’s food related deaths are now estimated to have arrived from. More headline news and public information will be arriving later in this mornings broadcast as we find out what culinary dishes were actually served.
The time now is 4:08 am GMT and this is the BBC Link to London where local news is actually happening most of the time. In the morning business report the Nikki Index is down .03%. Petrol prices are expected to rise in the next several months in expectation of windfall profits by large oil cartels needing to push quarterly profits. Bushels of grain and corn fall remarkably upon news of dioxin spreads. New studies show DNA affected.
And now we pause for ‘Olde English’ a modernistic play by Gertrude Strroder performed by the Royal Radio Theater Company of Brighton. Can everyone imagines a giant bunny rabbit talking to you right now… Can you imagine him, your announcer as a big bunny?
I am a happy rabbit! Are you? Children awake do you think your parents strange? I do.
The time now is 4:09 am GMT and this is still the BBC’s London Link program brought to you everyday even on the weekends at this very same time period 4 GMT every day!
Yes, every morn just for you our 40 something listeners who can’t sleep or have to get up so bloody early. At least you get some rest. Right, oh. It’s time for Favorite Flower Pot Hints with Geva! Hello Geva, what a beautiful morning it is, isn’t it? Hello, Geva? No?
Pause.
It’s 4:10 GMT and you are listening to the BBC. Time out for this announcer bum rabbit.
BAM!!! (Knocking on plate glass & studio door) ‘Hello, is everything alright in there?’
Time now is 4:11 GMT.
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READER'S REVIEWS (4)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Really great mate. Right spot on. Just excellent in the way you say it is - got totally into the story and mainframe of being there. I'm a big fan of Byron Blake - good show - really great to see more new stuff of his floating around on the internet these days. You've got the tone and banality attitude that is for sure. Great read." -- Frick, London, UK.
"Fun reading, moves along nicely and causes you to believe it is really a derranged BBC person announcing. I like BB's stories as well and wish to read more. The other story posted is best read if you copy it off the site and paste it into a blank page document. Wish we could read more of his stuff! Good show BB." -- Uncle Mike, Chicago, IL, USA.
"I like the story. Give us more stories, BB!!!" -- J. Fitzpatrick.
"Amazing! I am BB Fan! This is so good a read. I first found out about Byron Blake in high school in the 80s when a friend secretly passed around one of his stories. My wife and I wish we could read more." -- Hartz, New York, New York, USA.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 Byron Blake |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
December 2003 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2299
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